Gloomy clouds covered the sky, preventing the warm rays of the sun from reaching the earth and warming it in their embrace. Rain pounded loudly on the roof of the old mansion, causing the sleeping Matcha to stir discontentedly and pull the blanket over his head. The boy, only ten years old, did not want to wake up before noon, because only peasants wake up at dawn! And real Lords can afford to sleep as much as they want, because they don't have to do such stupid things as plowing fields, grazing cattle or anything else that the rabble does.

And that was why young Matcha was sleeping now! He was the most wonderful boy the world had ever seen – his mother said so! – he wouldn't have to worry about anything, because he already had everything! And he was going to multiply it many times over, because he said so! But only after he woke up. Which was not soon.

But today he wasn't destined to get enough sleep. There was a knock on his door, after which it opened almost immediately.

"Young Master Matcha, it is time to wake up." Said one of the many maids that worked in his mother's estate. "Lord Simple said he'd be waiting for you at the table."

Muttering under his breath, the boy threw the blanket off his head and cast a disinterested glance at the maid. Well, even if she had interrupted his sleep, he was a fair little Lord. The woman was just doing her job, he could respect that. Now he needed to hint to her that she could leave, he certainly wouldn't need help with the morning routine, he was no longer a smol little boy!

"I heard you, I won't need your help, maid," after thinking for a moment, he finally decided to give her one command. "Call Ssemouy-chan to me. She always chooses the best suits for me."

The woman twitched her cheek and left, muttering something suspiciously similar to "I have a name, you know," but the Young Master didn't pay attention to it.

Matcha turned up his nose at a job well done, now he can calmly prepare for the day! Still, he couldn't help but wonder: why Mom had him awakened so early today?

-=-=-=-=-=-

Simple Russian Boi, known in some circles as Handyman (ha-ha, very funny, private, now do thirty laps around the headquarters and if you meet any of the officers – add another five laps on top. NOW, BLYAT!), with wide-open eyes watched as his children and grandchildren – born of his blood and adopted into the family – slowly took their seats in the dining room and could not stop smiling, looking at their faces.

The first one at the table this time, oddly enough, was Orlui.

"Good morning, Boi!" The little red-haired girl had too much energy in her body – and SRB had a suspicion that someone had already managed to drink a liter or two of Sprite this morning. So, it wasn't surprising to see her fidgeting in her chair and looking with interest at the various trinkets in the room. After all, they changed every day.

"Good morning."

The second to arrive was a sleepy Danny, still in her pajamas and holding a pillow with a picture of a silver-haired vampire with crazy red eyes taped to it. SRB chuckled, seeing that there was a rather large puddle of drool on the vampire's cheek. Someone was sleeping with their mouth open.

"Good morning, Danny. Shouldn't you have woken up first? It's a big day today." 

"Let me die in peace." Taking her place, Danny placed her pillow on the table and fell asleep on the vampire's chest in literally a second.

Well, SRB calmly admitted that he was jealous of her at the moment. If he fell asleep in this position, he would have to change the spine in his body to be able to move normally again. Big disadvantages of owning bones that are over two hundred years old that no one talks about.

The third – and fourth and fifth – to literally burst into the room were three foxes of the house: Enigma, Midnight and Pixy. The young girls had too much energy even without the two liters of sprite that Orlui usually needed to start the day. They were just built different.

Or they found his coke stash.

It could be both.

"Good morning, girls."

"Gutten Morgen!" "Chào buổi sáng!" "Morning!" A chorus of three sly voices answered him in discord. Looking closer, he noticed a few drops of paint on Pixy's cheek, as if they had been left there on purpose. Probably so that he would know they had done something, but couldn't figure out what.

Most likely, later he will have to listen to another report from the servants about their latest feat – when did they even manage to do that? How fortunate that the servants will be too busy for this today…

Matcha and Ssemouy came out one after the other, naturally, the boy walked ahead, proudly flaunting his strict three-piece suit.

"Greetings, dear family. I wish you all a good morning." His green hair swayed in time with his steps and the boy sat down at his chair.

"Lord, Young Masters." Ssemouy performed the perfect lady's greeting, her maid uniform as inconspicuous as the girl herself.

If you didn't know where to look, you could miss the girl walking behind him. It was impossible to hold your gaze on her for long, your gaze slid to the side, trying to erase her image from your memory. The only thing that could be remembered about Matcha's minion/sidekick/?best friend?/wife were her ponytails on the sides of her head.

'It's not a sphere! …I think.' 

SRB wasn't actually sure when did she show up. One day Ssemouy just… Appeared. He guessed that had to do something with her being this comfortable among Eldritch Horrors, but he didn't care that much.

Oh, and let's not forget Voidiris, the cute child with one open red eye peeking out from behind a fringe of long white hair, they didn't walk into the room, they were there from the start, even if no one paid much attention to them. Quietly. Looking. Right. At. You.

"Great. Now that everyone is assembled, I can begin to explain why I gathered you here so early." SRB quietly tapped his index finger on the table.

The children looked at him with varying degrees of interest. Even the half-asleep Danny, who barely opened her left eye and blinked very slowly. His family was complicated, they could either ignore him or understand his words in their own way, but first they would definitely listen to him.

"You see, today I asked a good friend of mine–" without his consent, of course, "–to check the security system of our house. His task will be to get inside and pick up a red folder from my office with the inscription: 'Top secret, burn before reading,' so you don't have to worry too much if you notice someone you don't know. But please, try to notify our security about this."

The three foxes reacted first, not even hiding their grins. Orlui then brightened up and began to inquire about who exactly was his friend. So, one by one, the children were interested in learning more to varying degrees, and only Danny was still lying on her pillow and quietly snoring. The children needed a healthy sleep.

-=-=-=-=-=-

Theirl looked doubtfully at the tall, dark mansion, as if it had descended from the pages of a horror novel and thought about how strange his life had become. Simple Russian Boi, an Eldritch member of the School Council, asked him to bring documents from his family's mansion, which he had forgotten to bring along today. And it would seem that when there are creatures in the class capable of instantaneous movement, it was logical to ask them to help, but the die fell on him.

The man sneezed. It would have been much better if he hadn't had a cold. His nose was clogged and he stopped smelling anything at all. And this terrible rain… He hoped those documents were really worth it.

Dark clouds covered the sky, cold raindrops pounded the man's umbrella, which didn't protect him very well in such a strong wind. The gloomy passage to the realm of creatures incomprehensible to the mind, was distorted. The wood of the doors seemed to ripple from just one look at them, and the steel handles were covered in black frost.

"Well, at least it should be dry inside." Theirl muttered and pushed the door to the mansion... Only to find it didn't even budge. "Huh?" He blinked, then groaned. "The hinges are on the outside, of course this door will open outward."

Gathering his strength, he pulled the doors towards himself with difficulty and they creaked open with a terrible sound. Only he pulled too hard and fell on his backside, not noticing how an ancient spear flew over his head.

"Ouch! Who makes such huge doors so light?!" Theirl complained and rose to his feet, walking inside the mansion. He wasn't even surprised when the doors behind him slammed shut with a bang and clicked, as if they were locked. But with what? They didn't even have a keyhole, much less a lock.

The lights in the mansion weren't on, but enough light shone through the clouds and windows to show Theirl his way. The building was dead silent, only slightly diluted by his own heartbeat and the rain pounding the windows. The strange feeling of being watched didn't leave him for a second, but he quickly pushed it into the depths of his consciousness. Who knows what might show up in an old mansion?

"So... Straight ahead, go up two floors... And enter the very last door in the corridor... It will be marked with a red star..." Theirl muttered, remembering what exactly his Eldritch friend had told him. The man nodded to his thoughts and walked forward, not even looking at his feet and only miraculously not falling into any of the traps hidden in the shadows. The mantraps, so carefully hidden by the owners of this estate, did not even become an obstacle for him; he simply missed them.

At the end of the corridor Theirl was met by a long wooden staircase, which he quickly climbed, jumping two or even three steps at a time.

Somewhere behind him there was a dissatisfied hiss. How could a simple man escape their most cunning traps with such ease?! It felt like he had seen the future and had already chosen the option where he passed through the mansion without a single scratch!

Theirl continued walking forward carefree, only occasionally stopping to look at the paintings that decorated the third-floor corridor. These were real masterpieces of a madman who was trying to depict something indescribable. It seemed that the paints on the canvas were slowly moving, each minute forming a new picture, radically different from the previous one.

"Creepy. But who am I to judge?" Theirl shrugged and continued on his way. The door to the SRB office should be nearby. Only there was no door at the end of the hallway. There was no door at all, just a turn somewhere into the depths of the mansion.

"Well, if he said at the end of the hallway, then I'll go to the end of the hallway."

Having said this into nowhere, he went on, but tripped over the carpet, letting a huge hammer pass over his head, which threatened to break him into many small Theirls. The man put his hands on the floor and felt something cold and metallic under his palm.

"Oh! A coin! Today is definitely my lucky day!"

Happy as a cat that has eaten too much sour cream, he went on, not paying attention to the enchanting smell of chocolate that came from behind the suspiciously ajar door. He couldn't smell it.

And finally, he reached the cherished door. Opening it, he was surprised to see the most ordinary office ever seen in his life, though with an abundance of red color on the walls and Soviet symbols hanging from every surface. As SRB said, right in the middle of the table lay the folder with documents he needed.

Stepping over the threshold – and the tripwire left there – Theirl picked up the folder without any difficulty and turned around to leave. Only the corridor outside now turned in a completely different direction, much further from the central exit.

"Uh. Well, yeah, for some reason I expected that." He said and stepped outside again – this time missing the tripwire by literally a millimeter – and began to look for another exit.

Winding through dark corridors, Theirl was constantly one step away from death, without even suspecting it. Cunning traps, clever manipulations and the most thoughtful plans were shattered by human will. Even when hidden ill-wishers hung a sign at the next turn with the inscription: "If you want to get immortality - go left", he did not even read it, distracted by the picture of a dog in the corridor on the right!

Winding through the long corridors, Theirl finally came out into a spacious dining room, but now he wasn't alone here. At a truly huge table, Danny was sleeping, for some reason looking like a child, hugging a pillow with a photo of Azure on it.

"Here's my chance to find a way out! Only she'll kill me if I wake her up..." He scratched his head and thought hard on his situation. What else could he do, really? He couldn't wait for the girl to wake up on her own and, frankly speaking, he didn't really want to. Time doesn't stand still, especially in this world.

Finally gathering his resolve, Theirl approached Danny, but before he could say anything, a Zombie Daikon jumped onto the table and placed a map of the mansion next to the "courier". Even the resurrected Rootling knew that waking the girl would be a very bad idea.

"Erm, thanks?" Zombie Daikon nodded and went back where he came from.

Theirl, after checking the map, continued his journey. Apparently, he wasn't that far from the exit! He was very lucky with that. Smiling broadly, Theirl opened another door and came face to face with the barrel of a tank.

"Fire!" Orlui shouted and the explosion of a nuclear warhead illuminated the surrounding area.

-=-=-=-=-=-

Standing in the ashes of the mansion was the Eldritch Family, almost all of them, and a disheveled Theirl. The respawn haven't been kind to him.

"Well," SRB began, looking around at everyone with a tired look, "what have we learned today?"

Orlui raised her hand hesitantly and spoke as SRB nodded in her direction.

"Not to use sprite-loaded nukes inside buildings?"

SRB just sighed heavily.

"Yes, that too, but it wasn’t what I was talking about..."

"That waking up Danny is a bad idea?" Matcha added.

"Yes, but-"

"That Theirl is an almost perfect spy?"

Boi groaned. No one told him that raising children would be that hard.