I called the shots to drive. There was a place I knew of, around the corner from where we were. Somewhere I used to visit regularly, when I first got my license and wanted to take control on those big drives I knew I was capable of doing: the dog park.
I knew the route by heart. Take the first exit at the roundabout heading towards The Entrance, drive past the Supa-Centre filled with furniture outlets, and just before you can reach the car park to Tuggerah Station, you take a right. Then you're surrounded by a few areas of open land, and when you start to drive onto dirt road that's when you know you're heading in the right direction. You take the first right once you drive onto that part of the road, and you just keep going straight, right until you see a barrier that stops you from proceeding any further. Of course, for pet-lovers going during the day, it's wide open for them to use at their leisure. But for delinquents like us, driving towards the darkness for a night of no-good fun, they would have to place in precautionary measures.
And when we notice this, I steer the car to the side, hoping to conceal it among the long grass and the black of the night and the middle of nowhere park that we've driven to. Noah doesn't question my methods. In fact, he's been quite talkative the entire time we've shared the car ride. Once I ask how he is, he doesn’t stop listing all the problems he's having as of late; like his family getting off his back or how he's going to possibly lose his job because he was 'standing up for himself'. I'm only nodding and murmuring 'uh-huh' every break in a sentence he gives, only because my mind has travelled forward in time, imagining how our bodies will be intertwined momentarily.
I switch the car off. Noah stares forward, looking towards the black before us, but noticing the barrier.
'Where are we?" He asks.
"Dog park," I take no hesitation in responding. "I would drive further, but my car doesn't have the ability to jump yet."
"No worry," he comments, looking over his shoulder towards the back window. "So long as there's nobody around, we should be good."
I nod, suddenly feeling the reality of the situation sweep over me again. The nerves are creeping up my spine, or that could be the chills of realising that we are alone, to do whatever we want, however we want.
I look at Noah, barely being able to make out the features of his face in this intense dark surrounding, and I don't know how to start. I've never been great at taking the initiative in these situations, and tonight is no exception. I stare at him for what feels like longer than 10 seconds outside the boundaries of being creepy, before he leans over and cups my face with his left hand, pushing his lips against mine.
Everything then naturally falls into place. We sit there, leaning over into each other awkwardly, our mouths folding over and under one another, slipping our tongues to graze against the other. Once my arm begins to grow numb from supporting the lean, I break the kiss to hop over the hand break and gear shift, saddling my body on top of his. My hands automatically go for Noah's shirt, grabbing what I can from the fabric that clings to his body, pulling him closer into me while his arms wrap around my body. I can feel the heat radiating through his shirt, pushing against my torso, and my own body's temperature begins to rise the more I was to continue making out with him.
And we're like this for a few minutes, letting the tension build, letting ourselves yearn for the other more and more. Noah drives his hands under my shirt and runs his bare fingers over my back, moving them to trail around to my front, where a moan rumbles from his throat the moment his hands touch my breasts. He squeezes them through my bra, and I can feel my own core rising with anticipation for him.
I break the kiss again. Noah takes a breath the moment we separate, but I take no time in wasting a moment to say, "Wanna take this to the back?"
His mouth cracks a smile and whispers, "Yeah."
So then the next step is the two of us climbing into the back seat. I go first, taking it backwards so my arse lands on the seat gently, and my legs can fold in to sit comfortably behind the driver's seat. Noah takes a more careless approach, climbing head first from his position, and placing himself in the awkward situation of having to turn over his body to be able to sit on the seat. I smirk, watching his shadow trying to turn over itself, watching him crash onto the seat butt-first. And then, without almost any hesitation, his eyes are on me: two twinkling spots in a never ending blackness, sourcing from the barely visible light that was coming from nowhere and everywhere, and the moment I catch those two spots staring straight at me is the moment Noah lunges towards me and crashes his lips against mine again.
There was this thrill coursing my body. The promise of a midnight delight, the blackness of the night, the awareness of absolutely nobody hanging around to catch us in the middle of entanglement. Noah's hands trail up my shirt again, his thumbs grabbing a hold of the bottom to pull it up and over. Right as my chest is exposed, his hands run over my bra, squeezing my breasts hidden underneath. His lips haven't left mine. A warmth is coursing through my body, rising onto my skin, and Noah's touch feels like it burns, but it sends pleasure over pain. A feeling I'm all too familiar with.
Noah breaks the kiss to quickly lift my shirt up and over my head, tossing it somewhere behind him, probably to land in the mess of empty water bottles and chocolate wrappers on the car floor. He takes no hesitation in reaching around to my back to fiddle with the hooks of my bra. He struggles for a minute, trying to his best to unhook it, leaving the air between us suspended in awkward tension. But as my cheeks begin to heat with second hand embarrassment, he finally unclips the hook, whispering a victorious 'Yes!' under his breath. Pulling it away from me, he tosses the bra like he did with my shirt, and immediately lunges into my chest, gripping at my exposed breasts and squeezing them, letting my nipples stand out between his fingers. At this moment, his mouth wraps around the left, and I can feel his tongue flicking over, a gentle pulse of electricity coursing from my chest through my body, making the heat rise and the tension thicken. It was always the best feeling to have my tits grabbed while my nipples were caressed in someone's mouth. It was like a jolt of energy injected right into my bloodstream, a type that stirred the inner turmoil of my lower abdomen and pulsated my body to want more and more with each touch. Noah's tongue flicks over and over them, right until my pelvis is pulsing into his, the lump in his pants already grown.
And then he moves down, grabbing the edge of my underwear to pull them right off, almost in one swift, if he hadn't had to separate the catch on my feet. And though I'm wishing and hoping that he gets right into working his tongue magic on my lower region, he takes the moment to make me wait. He lifts his own shirt over his body, exposing the soft abs on his abdomen, letting the fabric fall to the ground, and begins to unbuckle the clasps of his cargo shorts. No sooner does he push them down do I see the shadow of the bulge through his underwear. The sight of it makes me hungry, the desire to wrap my legs around his body and pull him into me is unmeasurable. I'm almost barely a functioning human when I'm left to wait for my desires to be replenished, far from the girl who is almost always afraid to talk to someone, let alone try to engage in measures beyond basic communication. I guess it's because I know what I'm in for when I meet with a guy. We both know what we're in for when we meet up like this.
Noah has to lean his knees onto the seat to take off his shorts, meanwhile still leaving me eyeing off the bulge like it's a huge steak, ready for me to tear apart and swallow whole. Finally, he manages to kick off his shorts, and faces me, eyes hungry at my body, much like I am for his. And then, as his hands began to gently graze my inner thighs, teasing the closer they moved towards the centre, a light shines on Noah's face, and his gaze snaps from me to the back window, as the entire inside of the car begins to glow.
"Oh shit," he whispers, slinking down quickly towards my body, almost falling on top of me as he tries to hide from the light. My anticipation turns to fear, as my heart jumps into my throat, speeding up so fast I can hear it's thumpthumpthump through my ears. I'm still, Noah's still, as we both listen for anybody approaching as the light glides over the roof of my car, casting shadows everywhere.
And no sooner had it been glowing throughout my car did it begin to die down. It faded away quickly, as Noah and I listened to a car driving away, crunching gravel on its way out, probably heading back towards the main road. Simultaneously we both released a sigh of relief, Noah slowly sitting up, looking over the back seats out the window, watching for anything else as the darkness began to settle in around us again.
I could only just see the outline of his cautious stare. "Looks like they're leaving."
Again, my cheat heaved out another reliving breath. All fear was still circling throughout my body, leaving parts of me paralysed, and scared, for the moment we were both almost caught naked fucking around in the back seat of a car.
I've never done well with fear. Moments like these are ones that can erase the feel-good, high-on-life emotions that I may have been feeling before, and replace them with existential anxiety where I wonder if I should continue doing what I'm doing, or end it all for the sake of my own sanity. Noah seems to have already let the scared emotions go, resting his back on the inner lining of the backseat door, looking at me as I stare at the ceiling, heart rate slowing.
"You okay?" He asks, breathily, almost like he too is just getting over the initial fear.
I wonder if I should say something. Now that I've been shocked out of the exhilarating high, I almost don't feel right continuing on. There is so much running through my head, like the endless questions of Did they see us? Do they know what we were up to? Will they come back? And everything in between that feels like the entire world has been rocked and needs to be stabilised before we can go about our daily lives.
I look up, at the shadowing face of Noah, where the small bit of light we have has masked over one side of his face, leaving the other in the dark. I stare at him, in his underwear, his bulge still there, but looking less rock hard than it did before when he was practically ready to eat me alive, and I feel guilty because of three reasons:
- He came all this way to meet up with me.
- I came all this way to meet up with him.
- We both agreed to fuck during this supposed 'meet-up'
So while my heart still beats with an anxious rhythm, and my mind is going a hundred miles an hour with fear being the number one topic, I lightly sit up and I force a smile.
"I'm good." I say, and I'm glad the darkness surrounding us can mask the emotion I'm really feeling.
Noah's mouth creeps up into a half smile, as he leans forward and crawls back over me, forcing his lips on mine, digging his tongue back through into my mouth. And while I'm ignoring the jumps in my chest from the previous scare, and the hundreds of voices still asking the same questions over and over, I work my way back into the moment. Back into the exotic feeling of Noah's skin slipping over mine, and his mouth moving from my lips down to my thighs, where he kisses with his tongue to tease me before lapping his lips over the most sensitive spot between my legs.
And as he moves his tongue around the area, I slowly start to forget the fear that had scared me before. I focus on the moment, and the pleasure, and the world inside this car that heats up and fogs the windows as I begin to breathe in and out quickly.
I know that my plan has its risks, and I know that with risks come consequence of almost irreparable measure. But I also know that I don't have much time to consider what risks I have to avoid, especially if I have Miles waiting for me at the end of this journey. I'm only three away from my goal. And then it will be time to settle.
There may be a lot I have to look out for when delving into a plan such as this, which is why, to everyone I know, it was a secret I had to guard with almost my life.
