Dear Reader,

If you are reading this page, it means you have reached the end of the story.

First of all, I would like to thank you for coming along with me on this journey.

For me, this novel was a massive adventure, and since I stumbled into the world of BL/danmei writing as a newcomer, the whole process served as a sort of exciting experiment.

Now that the final period has been placed, I would like to share some behind-the-scenes secrets and honest thoughts on how I viewed this genre as both a writer and a reader.

The Web of Tropes (and how I fell into it too)

When a person reads a lot of danmei, the characteristic tropes of the genre inevitably become ingrained.

The word danmei actually means "immersing in beauty," so it’s understandable that we all love reading about gorgeous, almost perfect characters.

As a reader, I still adore these formulas – though lately, I find myself craving stories about more realistic, flawed heroes who aren't completely OP (overpowered). However, as a writer, I realized just how difficult it is to break free from these safety nets.

Well... boom, I have to confess, I ended up writing a whole bunch of clichés myself!

Although I tried to put my own spin on the familiar twists – and I hope I managed to fill it all with charm and love – please don't be too harsh on me for it!

Gong, Shou, and Reality

One often encounters that rigid division where the roles of the masculine gong (top) and the fragile, almost feminine shou (bottom) reduce stories to a single dimension. In my opinion, this kind of sharp typing can sometimes be a bit harmful because it limits the depth of the characters. In reality – and my own friend group corroborates this – switching roles (switch / vers.) is much more realistic.

In fact, if you really want to know how the couple in my story operates, please feel free to imagine them as switches, because that is exactly how I intended them to be.

With that in mind, I send this thought as a small encouragement to more experienced, braver writers: dare to write about more realistic, flesh-and-blood couples full of flaws!

I am learning this path myself, but I believe the genre needs these kinds of fresh, authentic voices.

And if anyone wants to read truly authentic danmei coming from a deep and pure source, I wholeheartedly recommend the author of Legend of Exorcism ( Fei Tian Ye Xiang), who, as a male author, touches upon the subject with incredible authenticity, unique insight, and brilliance.

Being a Hetero Woman in the Genre – Fetishization or something else?

Hetero female authors and readers are often faced with the stereotype that they are merely "fetishizing" love between men.

This is an accusation I really wanted to combat. For me, discovering danmei is a relatively recent chapter in my life – I only introduced myself to the genre not long ago through MXTX's novels, alongside many other genres I read.

Truth be told, it is incredibly refreshing to read something where I don't constantly catch myself overanalyzing the female protagonist, wondering how I would handle that specific life situation.

For me, as a woman, this genre is simply much more relaxing and offers a true mental escape.

When a story focuses on two men, the traditional templates of how a man or a woman "should" behave in a relationship simply melt away.

This completely frees my mind from that involuntary pressure to compare myself to a female lead, shifting the focus entirely onto the characters' individual growth and the balance between them – often beautifully woven into rich politics, fantasy, or wuxia.

It leaves room for open-minded literature that is simply centered around what truly matters – because at the end of the day, love is love.

In fact, one of the reasons there are no explicit (18+) scenes in the novel is because, on one hand, I believe romance can be beautiful, pure, and complete without them, and on the other hand, my friends played a huge part in it too.... ;))))

It was incredibly funny to face the reality in my daily life that while I was writing this story, my friends' teasing practically blocked my hands whenever I reached a scene that was getting too hot.

Their jokes were constantly about how terribly obvious it is when a hetero woman writes BL, which completely froze my ability to write anything explicit! Thus, the bedroom door remained firmly closed, but I hope the fire of the emotions still reached you.

Thank you for reading my tale with an open heart, along with all its flaws and charms.

I hope we meet again soon!

With love, 

Evelin

P.S.

May you always find the courage to love bravely, fiercely, and with an open heart.

If destiny – or let us call it fate – has bound your souls together with its red thread, cherish that bond without fear, just like the fated connections we see in the pages of our favorite stories (and within our favorite characters).

Every time your eyes meet someone new in this life, remember to welcome them with a gentle spirit.

For though a meeting may feel fresh and unfamiliar to our earthly minds, who is to say how many thousands of years, how many lifetimes of quiet "hellos" are already echoing behind that single gaze?

Please receive this as a warm, virtual embrace from me to you. Through these lines, I want to send my infinite, unwavering love and support to the LGBTQIA+ community.

As I hinted earlier, this beautiful, diverse spectrum of love is not just a concept to me; it is lived and breathed by those closest to my heart within my own circle of friends.

To anyone reading this who feels lost, hidden, or afraid to step into the light of their own truth: you are whole, you are precious, and your worth is immeasurable.

Never let the whispers of the world cloud the brilliance of your true self. What defines you is not the judgment of others, but the capacity of your own heart to love and be loved. Love is the ultimate victory, a force that conquers all barriers – so please, never be afraid to be unapologetically yourself.

And to those who have the strength to stand tall, I ask a favor: look around you.

Hold the hands of the friends who are still trembling in the shadows of uncertainty and fear.

Guide them gently, walk beside them, and remind them they are not alone until they find the strength to shine.

Open your hearts to the wonders of tomorrow.

Love deeply, live authentically, and never forget that love always wins.