I feel really weird… Tainted… Like someone stole my innocence.

Damn you, Carlotta…

I can still feel the warmth of her breath on my skin. Not to mention that electrifying sensation, that warm, wet tickle of her tongue and teeth tracing along my neck.

That's way too much for a poor innocent virgin like me!

Damn it! I feel violated. ****.

Ah… ****. I'd forgotten. I'm in a fucking NSFW otome eroge... goddammit.

"Ah... stop thinking about it, Kathryn!"

I was seriously tempted to smash my head against the gear-covered wall just to get those thoughts out of my mind. The cold, rusted metal of the mechanisms reflected a stare just as empty as what I felt at that moment.

...Damn bipolar noble... you really messed with my head...

Well, maybe I'm exaggerating.

I just need to go back to my room, rest, and maybe bother Stupid Trash a little.

Yeah, I'll do that... I've got a couple questions I want her to answer... And a few theories I'd like to test.

My little legs, onward to my room!

"It's time. Keep your promise."

Or that's what I would've liked to say, but when I turned around to leave, she appeared.

An annoying voice, yet somehow sweet enough that you could never get tired of hearing it.

A smug smile rested on her lips, showing just how much she believed herself above everyone else.

Clementine...

Oh my God.

After dealing with Carlotta, now I have to deal with her too?

No thanks. Hard pass.

"My what?"

"Do I need to remind you about your little secret?"

I had no idea what she was talking about until she pulled out her jade tablet.

Displaying the picture from our last "encounter."

Shit. I'd almost forgotten about that.

There I was. In a vulnerable state that would absolutely kill me if it ever got leaked. Bare shoulders, distant eyes... an image that made my soul shrivel up.

"I-I was just kidding, Clemy, girl! Don't be so grumpy. Of course I remember I was supposed to help you, um... how did it go again? Oh, right! Help you get Elion to notice you so you two can finally be lovers."

"L-Lovers!"

"...Seriously, I still don't get how you blush over that, but not over blackmailing your classmate with compromising photos..."

"That's not the point! You just need to do what I tell you. Got it?"

That bossy, spoiled tone...

So annoying...

But whatever. It's not like I have a choice. Better answer quickly.

Besides, I don't want to make her mad and get punched...

Or rather, get punched by that demon bear of hers...

"Okay then. Let's do this. Just follow my advice, girl, and you'll be a total heartbreaker... no, wait, you don't want that. Let's say this instead: follow my advice and you'll become Elion Conqueror 3000."

"...Speak English. I don't understand what you're saying."

"Ah... and class is already in session. Just follow my instructions."

Oh. Interesting.

So we're actually speaking English in this world.

I'd always been curious about that.

I thought maybe, since this was a fictional world, everyone was really speaking another language and my brain was automatically translating everything into English because I came from another world.

Looks like that wasn't the case.

...Yeah, now I'm just stalling so I don't have to face reality.

Which is...

I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT FLIRTING!

Sh*t.

I don't even know how to talk to men.

I've never felt the urge to flirt with anyone in my life!

...Why the hell did Mariel's face suddenly pop into my head?

No! No!

We were friends.

Just FRI-ENDS.

Nothing weird...

"Ahem! Well? I HATE being kept waiting, you know."

"Uh!"

Whoa.

When did we move to her room?

Damn, my memory gaps are seriously awful.

Still, it's pretty...

Well, the room is very Clemy.

The walls were covered in pink wallpaper with white stripes, visually soft, almost like a candy-colored dream. Small painted wooden stars decorated the ceiling, glowing faintly with a gentle light spell. And on the bed, where Clemy sat staring at me impatiently, there were several stuffed animals with smiling faces, along with violet pillows that looked like fluffy clouds.

"Y-Yeah. I'm coming. W-Well, y'see..."

Come on, brain, do something!

All those visual novels I've read have to be useful for something!

"So, the first step to winning a man's heart is... uh... being adorable...?"

"I already am! Aren't I totally adorable?"

Clemy tried striking a cute pose with her hands on her cheeks, but...

No.

I mean, yeah, she's pretty, but it felt incredibly forced.

Like a rabbit trying to be a lion.

Wait... Don't tell me...

"I don't know how you usually act around Elion, but... don't tell me you actually do that stuff in front of him...?"

"W-Wha? W-What's wrong with it? I'm the supreme being of adorableness! So I don't see anything wrong with doing cute things. Y-You know, it's like... adorable times adorable. Double adorable... or something... right?"

The way she said all that sounded so...

Desperate.

Like she was trying to convince herself more than me.

I think I just made her realize how wrong she'd been.

Still, I'll try to explain it to her.

Dana taught me that the best way to make people understand something is to be direct.

Here we go.

"It's not that you're not adorable. Honestly, hell, you really are. Even after everything you've done to me, I can't help feeling like I wanna protect you. But... when you force it, it doesn't work."

"Force it? Excuse me? You just admitted I'm the most adorable—"

"Uh... I wouldn't say the most adorable. I mean, yeah, you're cute and all, but to me, Maxine is way cuter—"

Before I could finish, I felt Clemy's icy stare.

Even if I couldn't actually see it, I knew she was giving me a murderous look.

"And... I just realized I probably shouldn't keep talking if I value both my dignity and my head, right?"

Clemy simply nodded.

"Let me make this clear: it's NOT that you're not adorable. The problem is trying way too hard. You just end up being cringe. Okay? Are we on the same page?"

"...No."

"Goddammit! Girl, you are difficult... wait a second... T-Tell me, Clemy... are you like this around Elion too?"

"Like what?"

"...Stubborn..."

"No."

She turned her face away, shrugging dismissively and sticking out her tongue.

The faint pink spreading across her cheeks gave her away completely.

"So that's a yes... That explains so much... Anyway, let's work on the basics. First, don't be so intense. Like, whatever your instinct tells you to do, try doing the opposite. Okay?"

"I still don't understand. I don't do anything wrong. Why should I change?"

"Because Elion—and honestly, nobody if we're being fair—likes someone that intense. Second, learn to manage your emotions. Don't be so stubborn. I get it... I get wanting to be noticed by the person you like, but dial it back a little or people might misunderstand you and you'll end up... somewhere really dark..."

Too dark.

Just thinking about being isolated from everyone again because of misunderstandings makes it hard to breathe.

And honestly, Clemy doesn't seem that bad... If we ignore the whole murderous bear thing.

And the blackmail.

"What are you? Some kind of public relations expert—?"

"NO! DAMMIT! BUT YOU DON'T WANT EVERYONE TO HATE YOU, RIGHT?!"

"..."

"...S-Sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you."

Please don't summon the killer bear.

Please don't summon the killer bear.

Please don't summon the killer bear.

I squeezed my eyes shut and hid behind my puffed-up tail.

My hands were trembling, and cold sweat ran down my back.

"...It's fine. But make sure it's the last time."

Huh? Seriously?

No tantrum?

Whatever.

Let's move on.

"'kay. We've covered what you need to fix. Now let's talk about what you can add. Sex appeal."

"Do you want me to hit you?"

"No! I'm serious! No guy wants a relationship where all you do is wholesome stuff. You need to learn how to grab attention and use your charms."

...Or at least that's what I learned from visual novels...

Obviously, I'm never telling her that part.

Sh*t, now that I think about it, I don't think a virgin like me is qualified to give advice.

But I'd rather keep my head attached to my shoulders, so...

Time to improvise!

"So... try being... y'know, girl, flirty. You've done that before, right?"

"O-Of course. A-All the time. Just watch and learn."

That's such an obvious lie you could spot it from miles away.

Still, let's see what she does.

It might be a little fun watching her embarrass herself as payback for everything she put me through.

"Uh... erm... like... this...? R-Right? I mean, obviously this is how you do it! Watch!"

Clemy stood up from her bed and attempted some sort of seductive pose.

She threw her arms behind her head and puffed out her chest, but...

Uh.

How do I put this?

She looks...

"Funny."

The whole point of the pose is to project sensuality and confidence.

But in her case, even her hair seems to be trembling from nerves.

And that expression on her tiny face is absolutely awful.

Plus, the way she's sticking out her chest ends up being counterproductive considering she already has plenty to show off.

I mean, she has the advantage of carrying around a pair of Mount Fujis, but...Weapons without ammunition are just chunks of metal.

And here?

We're missing a LOT of ammunition.

In this case, because the pose is so exaggerated, it doesn't look sexy.

Just funny.

Still, it was adorable how hard she tried.

Oh!

"Ha! See? When you don't force it, you're ridiculously adorable!"

"...I wasn't trying to be adorable."

"Oops, sorry. Didn't mean to make you feel bad—"

"You do it."

"Huh?"

"YOU do it! I order you to! Show me how to be flirty. You keep making fun of me, so let's see the expert in action."

I was about to refuse, but when I saw her looking ready to summon the bear, I knew there was no escape.

"F-FINE!"

...Holy sh*t.

How the hell do you even do this?!

I talk a lot of smack, but I don't know anything about it either.

[Protagonist Mission: Intimate Moment. Time remaining: 00:10:00]

... I hate my life.

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