Chapter 29. Never Speak of Yourself That Way
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I closed the apartment door and stood in the hallway for a few more seconds.

The bag was still in my hand.

The dress.

The perfume.

The entire day today.

Everything still felt like some strange dream.

I had actually gone on a date with Hayato.

A real one.

And…

I liked it.

Yes.

I really liked it.

I slowly walked into my room and sat down on the bed.

My phone was lying nearby.

Almost immediately the screen lit up.

A new message.

I picked it up.

For a second my heart skipped a beat.

But it wasn’t Hayato.

It was the group chat.

Messages had already started appearing there.

Miu had sent some photo after training.

Satomi had written something about tomorrow.

Several messages in a row.

I smiled.

Everyone was really moving forward.

Each of them had their own steps.

Their own attempts.

I scrolled through the chat.

And then…

A separate notification.

A private message.

From Kurosaki-kun.

I froze.

For some reason, even just the appearance of his name made me sit up straighter.

I opened it.

Kurosaki-kun:

“Not sleeping?”

I stared at the screen for a few seconds.

Then quickly replied.

Me:

“No.”

A few seconds later a new message came.

Kurosaki-kun:

“Can you come out into the corridor?”

I frowned.

“Into the corridor?..

Why?”

I looked at the time.

It was already late.

And yet…

I got up almost immediately.

Without even understanding why.

Probably because it was Kurosaki-kun.

He never wrote for no reason.

I quietly opened the apartment door.

The corridor was quiet.

Only the soft light of the lamps illuminated the walls.

And across from me…

He was standing there.

Kurosaki-kun.

In ordinary home clothes.

Without his usual sports uniform.

Without all that atmosphere of a person who was always going somewhere and controlling something.

For some reason, because of this he even seemed a little different.

“Kurosaki-kun?”

He looked at me.

“Hey.”

“Welcome back.”

I was a little lost.

“Did you want to talk?”

He nodded.

Then calmly opened the door to his apartment.

“Come in.”

I froze.

“Huh?”

He looked at my reaction and slightly raised an eyebrow.

“What?”

“You said you wanted to talk.”

“Y-Yeah, but…”

I looked at the open door.

This was…

The first time.

I had never been in a guy’s apartment before.

Even the thought of it made my face warm up a little.

“This is…”

“Your apartment…”

Kurosaki-kun silently looked at me for a few seconds.

Then smiled.

“Amano-san.”

“We’ve been living across from each other for a long time.”

“Do you think I’m luring you into my apartment?”

“N-No!”

I immediately waved my hands.

“I didn’t mean it like that!”

He smiled quietly.

“Then come in.”

I carefully stepped over the threshold.

And for some reason my heart started beating faster again.

Not like today with Hayato.

Completely differently.

With Hayato I had been nervous before the date.

Before whether he would like me.

But now…

I simply didn’t know what to expect from Kurosaki-kun.

His apartment was unexpectedly neat.

Much neater than I had imagined.

No mess anywhere.

Everything in its place.

I took off my shoes and quietly walked inside.

“Sit.”

He pointed at the sofa.

I carefully sat down.

Folded my hands on my knees.

And only now I realized…

I felt the same way as yesterday before the first task.

Like he was about to say something important.

Kurosaki-kun sat down across from me.

For a few seconds he just looked at me.

And then calmly said:

“Well then.”

“Tell me?”

I blinked.

“About what?”

He smiled slightly.

“About the date.”

I was silent for a few seconds.

And then, unexpectedly even for myself, I started talking.

About how I arrived early.

How Hayato was a little late.

How he immediately noticed the dress.

How he complimented me.

Kurosaki-kun listened in silence.

Sometimes taking a small sip of tea.

Sometimes barely noticeably smiling.

He didn’t interrupt me once.

Because of that, it became surprisingly easy to talk.

I didn’t even notice how I started remembering everything in detail.

How we walked.

How we held hands.

How we watched the movie.

How I managed to talk to the security guard.

How we laughed together at dinner.

And…

How I still didn’t manage to feed Hayato with chopsticks.

When I finished, silence hung in the room for a while.

Kurosaki-kun put his mug on the table.

And smiled calmly.

“Good job.”

I looked up in surprise.

“Huh?..”

“You did several things today that you were still afraid of a week ago.”

I blinked in confusion.

“You took his hand.”

“You started closing the distance yourself.”

“You weren’t scared to talk to the security guard.”

“You even tried to feed him.”

He calmly listed all of it, like he was checking off completed points on some plan.

And only now I understood…

He had actually remembered every single one of his tasks.

Every piece of advice.

Every little detail.

“Amano-san.”

“You did a lot of work.”

I couldn’t help but smile.

For some reason…

Hearing praise from him felt very pleasant.

Even more pleasant than I had expected.

“Thank you…”

He shook his head.

“Just don’t relax.”

I looked at him in surprise.

“Why?”

Kurosaki-kun thought for a few seconds.

“Because today I finally became convinced of one thing.”

He folded his arms across his chest.

“Hayato is much less decisive than I thought.”

I immediately remembered today’s dinner.

And involuntarily lowered my gaze.

“Yeah…”

“He got really embarrassed…”

Kurosaki-kun nodded.

“So much that he couldn’t even accept such a simple gesture.”

I smiled quietly.

“He was completely red…”

“I even felt sorry for him.”

“Exactly.”

He smiled slightly.

“And that changes a lot.”

“What exactly?”

“That from now on you’ll have to take the initiative yourself.”

I looked at him in surprise.

“Me?..”

“Of course.”

“If Hayato were a bold guy, I would’ve told you to step back a little.”

“But today…”

He fell silent for a while.

“Today he showed several times that he’s afraid to take the extra step himself.”

I involuntarily remembered the moment near my building.

When…

For some reason I had been waiting…

For something.

But nothing happened.

Kurosaki-kun, as if reading my thoughts, calmly continued:

“So waiting for him to start moving your relationship forward himself…”

“Could take a very long time.”

I nodded slowly.

Probably…

He was right.

“So…”

“The next step is also up to me?”

He answered without hesitation:

“Yes.”

“But don’t rush.”

“Pressure will only scare him.”

“Take small steps.”

“Just like today.”

He smiled again, barely noticeably.

“And you know…”

“Today I can really say…”

“You did well.”

I felt my cheeks start to warm up again.

“Thank you…”

For some reason…

Every time Kurosaki-kun calmly said “You did well” like that…

I became surprisingly calm.

Like…

I had actually done everything right.

I didn’t even notice how I started talking again.

At first calmly.

Then faster and faster.

“And you know…”

“When I was walking home…”

“I suddenly realized…”

I even smiled.

“I was actually able to do so many things today…”

Kurosaki-kun listened in silence.

A light smile played on his lips.

For some reason this encouraged me even more.

“I took Hayato’s hand myself…”

“I was able to talk to the security guard…”

“I even tried to feed him…”

I smiled quietly.

“Even though he turned so red…”

“That he almost ran away…”

I covered my mouth with my hand, remembering that moment.

Then I suddenly became more serious.

“And…”

“I mean…”

“I was able to surpass such amazing rivals…”

“Miu-san…”

“Rin-san…”

“Even Satomi-senpai…”

I shook my head in surprise myself.

“Until now I still don’t understand…”

“How any of this even happened…”

Kurosaki-kun looked at me attentively.

“Why?”

I blinked.

“Huh?”

“Why do you think they’re amazing…”

“But not yourself?”

I got confused.

“Well…”

“Because…”

I lowered my gaze to my knees.

“It’s true…”

“Miu-san is so beautiful…”

“Rin-san easily talks to anyone…”

“Satomi-senpai is strong…”

I smiled quietly.

“And I’m…”

“Just ordinary.”

“There’s nothing special about me.”

“I’m…”

“Plain.”

“I don’t even have any strong side…”

Silence fell.

I felt Kurosaki-kun suddenly stand up from his chair.

I looked up in surprise.

He took a few steps.

And stopped right in front of me.

Very close.

Because of the distance, I suddenly felt the difference in height sharply again.

I had to lift my head to look at his face.

His huge figure almost completely blocked the light from the lamp.

For some reason my heart immediately started beating faster.

Kurosaki-kun looked straight into my eyes.

Completely seriously.

“Amano-san.”

His voice became noticeably lower.

Calm.

Firm.

“Never…”

“Ever say that about yourself again.”

I involuntarily flinched.

He continued looking straight into my eyes.

Without looking away.

“I won’t allow…”

“Anyone to talk about you like that.”

He made a short pause.

And quietly added:

“Even you yourself.”

It was like my breath caught.

I looked up at him from below.

I had almost never seen Kurosaki-kun this serious.

He wasn’t angry.

He wasn’t shouting.

But…

For some reason I didn’t want to argue with him at all right now.

This almost two-meter-tall guy was standing right next to me.

So close…

That I suddenly felt a little hot again.

And for some reason…

Very calm.

Like someone strong had just taken my side.

Even…

Against myself.

I felt my cheeks slowly start to redden.

“I…”

“I’m sorry…”

Without even understanding why, that word came out first.

Kurosaki-kun only smiled very slightly.

But his gaze remained just as confident.

And suddenly it became very warm in my chest.

So warm…

That I wanted to sit next to him for at least a little longer.

Kurosaki-kun looked at me for a few more seconds.

Then his usual calm smile finally returned.

“But…”

He slightly tilted his head.

“We can make you even more amazing.”

I blinked in confusion.

“Huh?..”

“I saw how you sometimes play Eternal Arena.”

I looked up in surprise.

“You… noticed?”

He nodded calmly.

“Of course.”

“And honestly…”

“In my opinion, half the characters there are dressed too revealingly.”

I immediately looked away in embarrassment.

“W-Well…”

“It’s just a game…”

“I’m not arguing.”

He smiled.

“But that’s not what I’m talking about right now.”

He fell silent for a second, as if collecting his thoughts.

“I have a proposal.”

I immediately became alert.

“What kind?”

Kurosaki-kun calmly bent his fingers one by one.

“A streaming setup from me.”

“A separate room.”

“Channel concept.”

“Costume for streams.”

“Script.”

“Design.”

“Editing.”

“Promotion.”

He finished listing and looked straight into my eyes.

“From you…”

“Only the desire to change.”

He made a short pause.

“And become famous.”

I froze.

For a few seconds I just stared at him.

It seemed like I had misheard.

“W-What?..”

“Famous?..”

He nodded calmly.

Like he had just offered to go to the store together.

Not completely change my life.

“W-Wait…”

“But…”

“I don’t know how at all…”

“And…”

“If someone finds out…”

I got tangled in my own words.

A streamer?

Me?

That was…

That was completely impossible.

I had already opened my mouth, about to object again.

But…

Kurosaki-kun unexpectedly stepped closer.

And very gently placed his palm on my head.

I flinched.

Warm…

Big…

He slowly, almost lazily stroked my hair.

“Objections are not accepted.”

His voice sounded calm.

Confident.

“Just trust me.”

My heart suddenly started beating so hard that I almost stopped hearing my own thoughts.

Why…

Why did just this one gesture make me feel so warm?

I felt my cheeks start to redden rapidly.

Kurosaki-kun took a simple black mask out of his pocket at the same time.

It was very plain.

Like a medical one.

Only a small white cat was embroidered in the corner.

“Here.”

I mechanically took it.

“A mask?..”

“Try it on.”

I obediently put it on.

It fit pleasantly against my face, hiding the lower half.

Kurosaki-kun looked at me attentively for a few seconds.

Then nodded in satisfaction.

“Perfect.”

“Now no one will recognize you.”

I carefully touched the mask with my fingers.

Strange…

It really gave some feeling of safety.

Like…

It was hiding not only my face.

But also my fears.

Kurosaki-kun smiled slightly.

“And the most important thing…”

“It will give you courage.”

I looked up at him.

“You think…”

“I can do it?”

He answered without a single second of doubt.

“No.”

I looked at him in surprise.

“Huh?..”

A confident smile appeared on his lips.

“I don’t think.”

“I know.”

At those words my heart trembled again.

Why…

When Kurosaki-kun said something so confidently…

I myself started to feel like impossible things really didn’t exist.

From Rena’s perspective

The door closed quietly behind Yūki.

I stood in the corridor for a couple more seconds, looking at her apartment, then quietly, darkly smiled.

“Red as a tomato…” I muttered. “She didn’t even take off the mask.”

I imagined how she was now inside, pressing the mask to her chest and trying to calm her breathing. It became funny. And pleasant. Very pleasant.

I returned to my place and immediately sat down at the table. Without turning on the main light — only the monitor.

I opened the browser.

“Alright…” I said quietly, rubbing my chin. “Time to start for real.”

The first thing I did was find a cosplay store. The shrine maiden costume from Eternal Arena. The exact same one she always chose in the game. White, form-fitting, with a fairly deep neckline and short skirt. I looked at the photos for a long time, and my mouth even went a little dry.

“Yeah…” I exhaled quietly. “That’s what’s needed.”

I added it to the cart without hesitation. Express delivery.

Further orders came one after another.

A powerful system unit. Two good monitors. A professional camera. A microphone. Ring light. A streamer keyboard. A large comfortable desk. A chair. Soundproofing. Decorative panels. Everything needed for normal streaming.

At the very end I added one more item — a large, sturdy bed with a low headboard and strong sides. Not just a bed. The one that would be convenient for filming content.

“Good thing there’s money,” I thought, confirming the order.

Until late at night I unpacked boxes and set up the room. Couriers arrived one after another. I worked silently, quickly, almost without resting. By one in the morning the second room had already completely changed.

Soft but stylish lighting. A neat background. Two monitors. A camera on a tripod. Everything looked expensive and professional. Like it belonged to someone who had been making money from streaming for a long time.

I stepped back a couple of steps and looked at the result.

“Not bad…” I said quietly. “For a start.”

All that was left was to wait for the costume.

I returned to the main room, sat down and leaned back in the chair.

Yūki appeared in front of my eyes again. The one she was in the game during the netorare arc.

Not that quiet, closed-off girl she was now. But the one who in reality was actually enjoying the attention. From people looking at her. From being examined. From being in the center of someone else’s desire.

The trauma had simply forced her to suppress it. Made her quiet. Closed. “Good.”

I smiled.

“Sorry, Haruto. But I’m not going to play fair with you.”

On “easy mode” he was getting too much of an advantage thanks to ordinary romance. No matter how hard I tried, in pure love I would lose. The system was on his side.

So the rules had to be broken.

“Personal growth… trust… attention…” I quietly said, tapping my fingers on the table. “And then already harsher things.”

I remembered how she had looked at me today. How she blushed. How she couldn’t look away. How something had clearly clicked inside her when I stroked her head.

“Yeah…” I said quietly. “This works.”

If I could increase the depravity with gradual habituation to my attention and control, then her feelings for Haruto would slowly but surely fade. And dependence on me would grow.

I looked at the just-assembled streaming corner.

“Mask. Anonymity. Safe space. First — attention without fear. Then — gradual removal of protection. And after that… it will be easier.”

A cold smile appeared on my lips.

“Let’s see how the system reacts when someone starts playing completely by different rules.”

I turned off the light and lay down on the bed, putting my hands behind my head.

“Good night, Yūki.”

Tomorrow I would start preparing the soil for real.

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