Chapter 10 ** Finding Herself And Her Smile **
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“Miss, Miss?” The maid said, trying to coax the little girl awake.

Kaira pulled up her head and saw someone so close, that it frightened her to crawl away.

“Hush, hush dear. I won’t harm you. I’ve come to check you, will you allow me to continue to do so?” The maid said. Scared kids weren’t something new to her, but she didn’t see it every day.

Kaira saw the comb in her hand and subconsciously found that her hair has been half combed and taken out.

“Yes, I started, and hope you will let me finish. I would also like to quickly check your nails and clothes, even your mouth…If you let me do this, I will bring you some food, uh?”

The maid smiled very warmly, waiting for her to calm down.

Kaira looked at her nails, then toenails, “Their dirty.”

“Yes, my dear. Will you let me clean them for you?” The maid asked.

Kaira held out her hands and toes willingly. “Yes.”

Having not cleaned herself with her inner force for a while, forgetting about it, Kaira was a little annoyed with herself. She’s cleaned herself before, with inner force, yet hadn’t thought about that very much at all recently. She only wanted to learn to fight…

“My dear, did you live at a farm?”

“No. In the forest.” Kaira said, watching as the maid put away the comb and got out something to clean her nails. The maid wasn’t upset at all that she was unable to finish what she had started. A little kid that is scared, is better if you are stepping into their territory, and since the young girl had put out her hands and feet, the maid gladly did what the child wanted her to do.

Putting her clean nails up, to see them better when they were done, Kaira smiled and said, “Much better!”

 

The only time her nails had been this cleaned naturally, was before she became the princess. Moving her fingers and seeing her much nicer nails, she finally saw something behind her hand, staring at her.

Widening her eyes in a stunned silence, Kaira didn’t know what to do…It’s was Nathan!

“Are you…From that time?” Nathan had wanted to speak for a while now. Yet, this was all that could come out.

He had thought for months, that this girl had died…

Was it really her?

Kaira went to open her mouth then closed it, then started to breath heavily.

Her face…Her mask!

Putting her free hand to her face, she hid it as best as she could.

“Tell me. Are you?” As Nathan continued to speak, his voice came closer and closer. Until he was kneeling right beside her.

“I…” Kaira still had no words…

She wished that she was smarter, so that she knew to stay away from here. Why didn’t she run far away, where no one would know her? Why did she come here?

“I won’t harm you…Is your name Dupli?” Nathan asked quietly. He was rejoicing in his heart, hoping that he could help her this time.

He didn’t even blame her for running away, having met the real Princess and another maid. That place, where he had only spent a small amount of time in, to quickly speak to the princess, was creepy…

But, seeing her now, seeing her alive! He was happy!

“I don’t like that name!” Kaira said in a rush. “I am not Dupli! My name is Kaira now! No one can call me Dupli!”

 

Still hiding away, Kaira waited. Would it be best to run, run as fast as possible?

“Mmm, Kaira. Then I will call you Kaira. Kaira is safe.” Nathan said touching her head.

“Safe?” Kaira asked in a mumble.

“Yes, Kaira is safe now. Let me look after you.”

Slowly lifting her head, she looked back at Nathan and then away again, “I’m not the Princess.”

Sitting down next the her, Nathan chuckled, “I know.”

“You know!” Kaira was stunned, “How did you know!?”

Nathan raised his eyebrows, “I didn’t find it particularly hard to find out, I knew the first day!”

“Uh!” Kaira widened her eyes and her mouth opened in shock.

Patting her head, Nathan nodded, “Yes, I heard the nanny ordering you around, and the way you acted was different to what we all expected. When I met the real Princess, I was sure she wasn’t you. So…”

He had thought to go on, but Kaira started to look scared.

He was right! He knows! What was she to do!?

“I told you that I won’t harm you, Kaira.” Nathan repeated himself. He sat up with worry, she looked completely scared…

 

Was it her fault that she didn’t quite trust him? Did he mean it? Was it truth? How would she know?

Kaira’s other hand was now cleaned, and the maid went to do her toes but Kaira stood up all of a sudden.

Nathan stood up too, he was already worried about her, by the way she seemed detached once again and just about ready to flee! Memories of how she had acted all those months ago, came back fresh in his mind, and he could understand if she ran, he understood if she didn’t trust him.

“Kaira, how do I show you, so you’ll trust me?” Nathan said, trying to get her to look at him. He was very sincere and really didn’t know how to coax her over…

“I’m sorry.” Kaira said, staring to the grass. “I had to do that, I didn’t…”

Nathan interrupted her, “I know Kaira, it’s fine. I’m not angry.”

Looking at Nathan, Kaira saw that he wasn’t angry, then she looked away, taking a step back.

“Kaira? Come live at my residence. I’ll protect you.”

Suddenly, a crashing, familiar voice came into her mind, ‘I will always protect and love you.’

Letting out a small breath, Kaira just couldn’t do it…Those words were like the devil…

Turning and running, she used her inner force and didn’t stop until she was back in the forest once again.

When she finally made it back to the abandoned hut, Kaira fell to the ground, on the skins from the dead animals that she’s killed and curled up into a ball.

‘I will always protect and love you.’

For the first time in months, she cried…

How could she trust anybody? That one who had last said that they’d protect her, they didn’t! He even left her for another! What if this person does too! What if she’s all alone again!?

It was so strange, that Nathan knew she hadn’t been the Princess, yet wasn’t mad. So strange that he seemed to want to help…Was…Did he mean it?

Kaira was conflicted and wasn’t sure how to feel!

 

Nathan had fiercely run after her, but for some reason, her little legs went twice as fast as his big legs!

She’d ran so fast, that by the time she had entered the forest, he was still at least a hundred metres away!

Making it to the border of the forest, he put a hand against a tree and tried to catch his breath.

A guard made it to Nathan straight away, using the small amount of inner force that he had, to stay with the young lord. “Young lord, did you want me to get more guards to search the forest?”

Nathan shock his head, “No, that will scare her. There’s at least three or four hours left of sunlight. I’ll go in and search for her.”

“Young lord!?”

“It’s fine, give me your sword.” Nathan said, holding out his hand.

The guard relinquished his sword straight away.

Taking the sword, Nathan struck at the tree in two different places, and then gave it back.

Watching the young lord look around and narrowing his eyes, the guard asked, “What if night fall comes and you have not returned?”

Nathan looked at the guard and smiled, “Tomorrow, if I have not returned, send a few people. But, just tell my father that I may not be home tonight.”

The guard was still uneasy, “Yes, young lord…”

He watched as the young lord walked into the forest and went as straight as he could in one particular direction.

Going back to his post, he told the maid that her services weren’t required at present and that they may ask for it later.

The maid nodded and repeated what Nathan had said, that if they send in lots of people, it will scare the child. That she seemed to be traumatized…

The guard nodded and said that he will send in people in the morning, if the young lord had still not returned.

The maid left, and he sent the other guard, who will have more breath then himself, to go and tell Lord Wiltsing that his son may not be home tonight…

 

***

 

Having walked for ten minutes in one direction, Nathan stayed observant. He didn’t like the idea of being alone in the forest, yet, she was…How long had she been here by herself? Wasn’t her life in danger!?

The last thing he wanted, was to get lost. The second last thing he wanted, was to leave empty handed.

If the little girl had come herself to Gulberg, now he wanted her to go all the way!

Slowing right down, checking both sides of the one direction that he was travelling in, he finally found an abandoned hut in front of him, still about fifty metres away.

Hoping that she was there, he walked at a normal pace again, still looking at both sides, just in case.

Finally, he was about ten metres before the hut, and he saw the little girl curled up on the ground.

Quietly, he walked up to her and bent down, seeing her sleeping yet again.

She was in the open and sleeping…Yet, didn’t trust him…

Shaking his head, he picked her up and she moved as she was against him.

He turned and tried to follow the same path he had taken to get here, and within five minutes her eyes started to open.

Watching her blink and wipe her eyes, he smiled at her. “Did you come to Gulberg for books?”

Trying to show that he was not someone to harm her and remembering she liked books, he continued walking, as though this was normal.

“Yes.” She said, holding onto his shirt with one hand, and covering her face with her other hand.

“Then you can borrow some to read.” If this was the reason, then it was no problem! “You might as well just stay at the residence while you read.”

 

Kaira pulled her hand away from her face and looked up at Nathan. He was sweating on his forehead and his breathing was heavy, making her finally realize that he had come all the way into the forest to come and get her.

“Why did you follow me?” Her question really was innocent. Having spent so long with no one ever doing anything like this for her, it was strange.

“Mmm, maybe it’s because my books are begging for someone to read them, and now since I found someone…” Nathan smirked. She was so serious at times, for such a young age!

“You must be crazy, books don’t talk to me.” Kaira answered back, a very small slight lift to her mouth.

“Oh, well I never knew I was crazy, I thought that was normal!” Nathan joked.

“It’s not normal!” Kaira said, giving a slight giggle.

Sighing, with relief in his heart, Nathan smiled, “Perhaps it is normal and everyone else is strange!”

“No! You are strange!”

“I don’t think so!”

“I think so!”

“No, you must be wrong.”

“You are wrong!”

 

 

After Nathan got out of the forest, they still spouted childlike nonsense, all the way back to the wall and he was still carrying her.

Once there, he walked straight in the flimsy gates and got on the carriage, that he had been in to go there, quite some time ago.

Putting her down and sitting opposite her, he said, “Back to the estate!”

Kaira had sorta forgotten about her predicament and went silent once again.

“How did you survive for so long?” Nathan asked, after two minutes of silence.

Kaira finally looked at him again, then bowed her head back down, “I…Learnt.”

Gently smiling, Nathan said, “Then you did well! You should be safe, but just in case, come stay with us. You can read whatever you want!”

Kaira nodded, letting a smile come to her face. She felt very lucky! So lucky! Especially if it was true and the books were calling out to her! But…She must investigate this. She had never heard a book speak before, so this Nathan…Must be crazy…

“Thank you.”

“Your welcome! Maybe the books will start talking to you and we’ll both be strange!”

And to Nathan’s delight, they had started another strange conversation once again.

It was definitely a new favourite thing to do for Nathan in his daily life.

 

***

 

Within the next year and a half, Kaira was a guest in the residence and she had read every book in the house. To others astonishment and anger, she had even read some personal diaries that she had found…

But, in all this time, the books had never spoken to her, so she never neglects to tell Nathan that he is the strange one.

Strangely, that also led to animals, and how the animals ran away from her and they told him why. Kaira got angry at first, but slowly started to play along and say that the animals were just all stupid enough to want to be closer to him instead of her…Or that he was strange because animals don’t speak…

Over the first few weeks, she was no longer scared of him, jumping at his sudden appearance and becoming too humble. At first, she had felt bad for eating their food and taking a whole room from them. What could she do to express her thanks?

She had attempted to express this thanks through cleaning for them but, she had been repeatedly told not to…

Nathan, on the other hand, didn’t care for her want to express anything. He was just glad that she was alive and entertaining him, even continuing his teasing, so that she will smile. Compared to when she had been the ‘Princess’ to this time, she seemed to be able to start relaxing after a while and smile a few times in a day. Which was thanks enough for him!

 

In fact, he made her want to express even more thanks, not just because of being able to stay there or reading the books, but because Nathan taught her a few things as well. He taught her how to ride a horse and how to deliver something respectfully, like that of business books or even a basket full of food.

Since they had somewhat of a farm, Kaira ended up delivering eggs and milk to some people and then had to take back to the residence anything that those people gave her in return. Nathan thought it was a good easy type of responsibility for her to achieve, and it did make her feel better about her staying there…Even though she wasn’t very good at it…

Kaira would often get lost, because she wasn’t used to streets and opened land…She was used to walls and the forest…

And, the other problem was talking, she was humble and courteous, but didn’t know how to have a normal conversation.

Often, Kaira would talk about her delivery and ask why someone would ask her if she was well or if she was reading something good…Not only was she not used to people she hardly knew caring about stuff like that, but…If she was unwell, wouldn’t she stay in bed? If she was reading something bad, she probably wouldn’t read it, so obviously she would be reading something good…

So, Nathan had to try and explain to her that people like to talk about anything just to have someone to talk to and that sometimes it’s considered rude if one doesn’t have a conversation.

 

***

 

After a few more weeks, Kaira was even wondering if she wanted to get revenge for what the Princess and Royal Consort had done to her. And, if she did, how would she go about it?

She didn’t like the idea of returning what she had received. Having been bullied the way she had been, was something she didn’t particularly want others to go through…So, sometimes, she thought of this, because she started to realize what she was missing out on all these years. Seeing maids be treated nicely and seeing the master of the residence not treat her like the Princess had treated her, often made her realize how badly she had been treated…

Then, her real memories, from losing them because of running away from that man and going into the water, had finally all returned. Of course, the beginning is a blur, but she had asked Nathan if he remembers being a little baby and he had said that he didn’t. She also asked Sandra, whom seemed to grow from being sceptical, to being tender with Kaira, and she had also said she didn’t remember. Only making Kaira think that not remembering being a little baby was normal.

Nonetheless, the memories were dearer to her then she thought they would be. Her brother was in nearly all of them, everywhere and everything…He did so much for her that she spent a few nights crying to the memories of such a special past. No wonder the voice had made her feel better, no wonder she felt so betrayed…

 

Nathan had even tried to get her to teach him some of her Martial Arts, but he wasn’t very good at it.

So, he ended up watching her train herself every now and again instead. It became natural, over all these weeks, and weeks turning into months, of being in each other’s company.

They also went to see something once a week. Whether it was to have a picnic in a grassy shady spot or to see some animals. She attended a few gatherings in the city as well. A festival for the Prince’s birthday and then another yearly celebration. She continued her deliveries and was friendly, but didn’t seem to go beyond that with anyone, being scared that they might bully her afterwards or that they might betray her trust.

At the residence, she was even able to be involved in two family occasions. They celebrated Christmas together and even gave her a present, having made Kaira cry and repeatedly say her thanks.

Then, the other celebration was the eldest son’s first child’s birth. Kaira grew to adore this little bundle very much. The little, tiny fingers and toes held most of her attention, but always gave the child back, when it started to cry.

 

But, they had slowly welcomed her into the family, as they were unable to say anything because Nathan seemed to dote on her. His happiness seemed to make them happy, so they accepted Kiara with opened arms.

At first, they had been very confused, but Nathan had openly told them everything about what he had seen back in the capital, with the real Princess, and then hearing about the maid.

Kaira nodded and went silent and still…After a few sentence’s of nearly dying and was a maid other times, they couldn’t get much else out of her.

Lord Wiltsing was angered to the point of wanting to march all the way into the royal palace, but Nathan stopped him. Kiara had already said that she had been kept a secret and that she wasn’t even sure if the King knew of her or not. So, Nathan reminded his father that if they were to make this a big deal, Kiara might be in danger and that he would prefer her past identity to be kept a secret.

Lord Wiltsing still didn’t like that he had been played but knew of his son’s happiness and understood the situation. Of course, he had every right to go to the King, but…Kiara was a victim and if she were found out that she had impersonated royalty…He just couldn’t bring himself to bring that kind of future to not only Kiara, but his son too. He hadn’t seen his son dote on any girl, except for Kiara. He was already seventeen, and never showed any interest, well not as much as he had in Kiara, with anyone else…

So, they continued to contain a big, royal secret, knowing that if it was found out, they could get into an extreme amount of trouble!

 

Since the truth had come out, not only did they not act upon the information, they continued on with their lives and even had a protective nature over the girl. After all, she was timid upon arrival to the residence, she had also been like a ghost, as sometimes they couldn’t find her. They had seen her cleaning sometimes and they had to tell her that she didn’t have to do that. Then…Sometimes, she would flinch, which broke their hearts. When one of their maids talked to Kiara, and was seen by any of the Wiltsing family, they even saw her bow to them…It was like she was scared of other maids…

The protectiveness over Kiara didn’t seem to disappear, as they slowly saw her come out of her shell. They were really happy when she ended up being someone so stubborn and innocent. She started with only talking back to Nathan, then it seemed to flow onwards to Sandra. But, they all found that it was about time that she was able to say ‘no’ to something she didn’t want to do. And her innocence was not only adorable to Nathan, but in particular, Sandra. Sandra would take her shopping and Kiara would have trouble with nearly everything! What tea to try, what silk was good? What was she to say to Sandra’s friends? What to say with people her own age?

Sandra was now a grandmother, but for a long time was only the mother of one little girl, and only for three years. So, when Kiara came into the residence and she had warmed up to her, Sandra was very happy to dote on her just as much as Nathan did!

 

So, slowly, after some time, Kaira had become very much how she was previously, before losing her memories.

She would not do anything she didn’t want to do, even if Nathan begged her. She would read often, already going to a bigger place, such as the library in the town, that held more books. She would do Martial Arts and train her inner force practically every day. She even filled her room with chimes, unable to not have them anymore because there was no more room, even though she was still upset with whom she used to call brother. Yes, she never forgot this ‘brother’, especially when her memories returned. He seemed to be a big part of her somehow, yet, she didn’t know why he was such a big part of her, when she was only with him until she was ten.

This was how she continued, as the weeks went by. Showing a lack of trust to anyone outside of the residence but a huge amount of innocence and stubbornness within…

And with her innocence and being so adorable, Nathan continued to only have eyes for her and no one else…

 

Over time, Nathan used simple tricks and words to sometimes get closer to her. ‘So, I won’t lose you’, was said when he held her hand. ‘Just for today’, was said, when they were leisurely and happily sitting on a two-seater chair outside, and he had picked her up and put her on his lap. ‘Because it’s my birthday’, was used for her to kiss him on the cheeks. ‘Because it’s your birthday’, was said, when he kissed her on her lips…

Kaira didn’t feel much beyond friendship with Nathan, and also felt very new to this type of…Intimacy. So, it was natural that she was shy, but, even though that person had left her, she also felt wrong…She felt like she was doing something that she wasn’t supposed to be doing…

Nonetheless, she didn’t stop Nathan on these times, but did not advance to start something like this herself. So far, she was not upset or angry with Nathan, she only felt…Different to what he did…She was also very thankful and grateful to Nathan. He had become the most important person to her at this time. She didn’t want that to change…

 

What she did see, was someone that did watch Nathan more than she did.

Strangely, what helped her not become so afraid of maids anymore, was this particular person.

Since Kiara had grown up more now, she was able to understand what was going on. This maid liked Nathan, but only watched him from the shadows.

At first, when Kiara noticed her, she seemed extremely quiet and rarely was seen. So, Kiara investigated, and found that she stayed away from not only Nathan, but her as well.

So, for investigation purposes, she ordered this maid to do some things for Nathan, and they ended up becoming friends this way.

Kiara found out that her hunch was right, that this maid liked Nathan. But she also seemed to agree with something else the maid said, that Nathan only saw me. His eyes never knew that this maid’s eyes watched him at all.

From then onwards, both Kiara and the maid would try and get Nathan to notice her, yet most of the time, they failed.

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