Hi,
First of all thank you for you story so far, I'm quite liking it.
So I tend to not actually read but more like listen to novels with text aloud functions.
So this often results in me taking the existing text and slightly editing it so that it sounds better.
if your interested in the edits I did for ch.1 + 2 I've left a google drive link for it down bellow.
blue is for rearranged text in a sentence, or some added words
(your original text is not actually wrong, this is just me adding for it to sound more fluid)
red is for an actual grammar/wording error.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/17XPyD755D5nIc5_Kpz-QdAwGO61Cw_No/edit?usp=share_link&ouid=110580986843383495400&rtpof=true&sd=true
anyway, I hope I'm not reenacting the first chapter with this 
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