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bor902
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Joined
Jul 26, 2019
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13
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40

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bor902
Author
Follow Tip
Joined: Jul 26, 2019
Followers: 13
Following: 0
Comments: 40

Here is my (discord https://discord.gg/ZMapkyf) Server where I release chapters a bit earlier, with comments enabled so you can point out any mistakes to me :), and my Patreon, where you can recieve advance chapters for my original story and other things https://www.patreon.com/user?u=16297859.

Leegood · Aug 5, 2019

(*.*)

bor902 · Author · Jul 28, 2019

Alright, that's settled then, thanks for bringing it up.

Choice · Jul 27, 2019

That first one does sound great actually.

bor902 · Author · Jul 27, 2019

Thanks for bringing up your concerns. I mostly wrote it like that as a joke, but if it bothered you it will probably also bother others.

What do you think about: "That might have not been the case were they living in a world without monsters, but alas"

or: That might have not been the case were they living in a world without monsters, but alas it was not to be"

or: That might have not been the case were they living in a world without monsters, but it was not so."

Choice · Jul 26, 2019

During chapter 1 I noticed one phrase four negative tenses competing for meaning. "That might have not been the case were they not living in a world where actual monsters roamed the land, but it was not so, and so it wasn't." May I suggest you re-write this as "That might not have been the case were the people living in a world without the threat of actual monsters roaming the land, but the threat exists. So this is the way things are." Thanks for the story!

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    Here is my (discord https://discord.gg/ZMapkyf) Server where I release chapters a bit earlier, with comments enabled so you can point out any mistakes to me :), and my Patreon, where you can recieve advance chapters for my original story and other things https://www.patreon.com/user?u=16297859.

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    Series: 2
    Total Words: 113967
    Total Pageviews: 74472
    Reviews Received: 7
    Readers: 684
    Followers: 13
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