Hi there. I saw your review on "Ero Dungeon Online" and wanted to ask what the difference is between it and "Ero Dungeon Evolution". In your review you said EDO is lighter, but how is EDE heavier? And what other differences are there?
Oh, by the way, I don't know if everyone is like this but when I am conscious while "dreaming", I don't give a damn about consequences and fly, reconstruct blocks by imagination and stuff.So Ihave written that part like that for this and another personal reason, since he thinks it was just a dream and thinks it will be fine without thinking about consequences much.
The "main" mind is what you can call the core of the Elliott. He is still inexperienced and was extremely lonely, so for a long time, to retain his mind he entertained himself with his childish actions.
For a character that is around 17-18 5 years means more than one-third of the time they had a sense of self, so I can understand if you find it still silly, but I think that it at least makes sense.
Once more I really appreciate your criticism, thanks for reading and have a great day!
For the paragraphs, you are absolutely right. I am kind of used to reading text like that, but I will give more effort into writing like that if it is confusing.
About the MC's stupidity and split thinking, well... It makes the user be able to think spontaneously different thoughts. With the skill being so high, it seems to the user that they are interacting with different entities but essentially they all are him.
Thank you for reviewing my novel! I thought that the symbols might be cooler than giving names to them(I'm a newbie lol), so in the upcoming days I will rewrite the chapters as to give them names.
As for the "interlude", it was not canon, actually it was a shit post to be honest. So I think I should remove it, as to not create confusion. But I may connect the lore to the Earth as I have done in the "interlude"