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Adelmarus
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Joined
Jan 27, 2021
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28

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Adelmarus
Author
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Joined: Jan 27, 2021
Followers: 1
Following: 0
Comments: 28

こんにちは!私の名前はアデルマルスです。ロイヤルロードからここに引っ越しました。私は16歳ですが、シンプは嫌いです。この新しいプラットフォームへの参加を手伝ってくれることを願っています。

Hello! My name is Adelmarus, and I've just moved here from royalroadl. I'm 16, I hate simps, and I hope you guys help me with joining this new platform (English From Google Translate)

randomuser855 · Feb 20, 2021

Hmm...these were the errors that I found.

Also, I'm the author! Blob GrinBlob GrinBlob Hero Thank you so much for the review and I'll try to make the story as interesting and fun as possible!
You can even ask me for drafts :) 
Adelmarus · Author · Feb 21, 2021

Really? I would love drafts! I've been enjoying your story, keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Adelmarus

randomuser855 · Feb 20, 2021
6. They’ve finally awakened where even I can’t always spy on them like I’ve used to... - 'like' should be replaced with 'as'
7. Any cheats? What do you want... - This should be a question at the end not a statement
8. as if it’s fries, but yes please... - Comma after 'yes;
9. someone put a grind up devil fruit in my soup...- Should be 'grinded' up
10. Next thing I know... - Would work better if there was a 'The' in the beginning.
randomuser855 · Feb 20, 2021

3. Good answer. Well the truth is, you can say you are one of the lucky bunch... - A comma is needed after 'Well'

4. Heck, you could’ve set up those Guiness World Records should you have tried... - Guinness is spelled incorrectly
5. Well, from your memories you hated your parents…my my… My condolences for your shitty luck for an abusive and alcoholic parents... - 'An' is unnecessary and 'parents' should be 'parent' although it sounds unnatural.
randomuser855 · Feb 20, 2021

Hi! I saw your review on the Charlotte Family!

Here are the grammatical errors that I have found on the first chapter alone.

1. I had my life perfectly planned out ahead of me, until those bastards... - The comma is not needed

2. If I know that even Houdini failed to return back, then what chance ... - the 'back' is redundant

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    Last Active: Apr 22, 2021 05:00 PM
    Birthday: Apr 22, 2004
    Gender: Male
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    こんにちは!私の名前はアデルマルスです。ロイヤルロードからここに引っ越しました。私は16歳ですが、シンプは嫌いです。この新しいプラットフォームへの参加を手伝ってくれることを願っています。

    Hello! My name is Adelmarus, and I've just moved here from royalroadl. I'm 16, I hate simps, and I hope you guys help me with joining this new platform (English From Google Translate)

    Author Information
    Series: 2
    Total Words: 7,755
    Total Pageviews: 962
    Reviews Received: 0
    Readers: 33
    Followers: 1
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