gaylolis

Some weird, gory and offensive stuff below.

You have been warned.

One day, a man was sentenced to life imprisonment, from killing a burglar who broke into his house. The burglar was armed.

The man's appeal in his defense: "But he might kill me and my entire family if I didn't shoot him!"

"Punishing criminals are the Authorities' job."

"Are you saying I have to wait for the police to come while the burglars killed my children and wife? You think they can bring them back to life, huh?"

"Just because one carried a gun, doesn't mean one should shoot it."

"What kind of bullshit is--"

"Gentlemen, apprehend him for disrespecting me."

In the hearing, the man was sentenced to life imprisonment, on basis that self-defense shouldn't result in murder. His sentence had been increased for obstructing justice and disrespecting a court member.

"But how should I know if that would kill him or not?"

"Then it's your fault for not studying self-defense thoroughly."

...

At another day, a man was brought to the police station for questioning. He brutally tortured a burglar who broke into his house.

The burglar's four limbs had been torn off—and he was found with his stomach cut open. Some of his organs were also missing.

Both the eyes were gouged out; with nose, mouth, and ears were no longer intact. The bloodiest part was the burglar's crotch; all mangled-up bloody mess.

Even so, the burglar was still alive.

The man also called out the police to report for burglary, after the deed was done.

He also testified in detail, the things he did, "If I didn't do so much, I'm afraid he'll kill me. He's still alive. I only neutralized him a bit, since killing people is bad."

No inkling of emotions was seen from his monotonous expression. The cops could only shake their heads while writing down the testimony, due to how unreal it was.

As long no one dies--it's all green.

He was sent home without further questioning; his actions justified as 'legitimate self-defense'.

With the only news of it being:

'A burglar was caught at xx Street. It was already handled by the local police. Remember to stay alert and report to the Authorities whenever you witness something.'