But actually, I'm glad internet and web novels weren't available when I'm still a loli. At least in my country.
They still use something like a home phone and you have to use modem ethernet.
Unless it was for something important like a school project, I won't use it.
It's also common to work the assignments on internet cafes. But as wifi came, man, they're everywhere.
You can also turn your phone into an internet source for your own PC as well.
Gotta love the rumbles of scientific triumph.
/loli spilling noises/
And I also remember, back then, at school. There was this pointless thing like the teacher just writing everything in the blackboard. And you have to mindlessly write it down and memorize stuff.
It didn't really teach you how to think. Though mine was in a backwater country
Yeah, it's only better compared to nothing. The good thing about it was when I finally graduated, I would remember how terrible it was, and how it make me hate learning in the first place.
Sometimes suffering can bring some precious lessons, but it'd be insane for me to want them just so I could learn a lesson.
And the school is the exact opposite of that if I remember correctly.
They force you to learn at their pace, whether or not you're interested in it.
Which in turn, cause you to hate it, even if, at the start, you're interested in such a subject.
Not to say, their way is completely flawed. It has some good parts: like starting from the easiest part, the basic first.
But, even so, not everyone can understand even the basics. it rang true for me especially when I entered college. I barely understood anything, while in high school, I can understand it if I try.
Though, it probably has a lot more to do with my lack of interest. I was also lazy to learn since I moved away from my parents.
No one forcing the pressure on me; actually got by with a minimal amount of studying.
I barely even read up the actual textbooks most of the time. Only mediocre grades but that's that
For writing, I think I did work differently I guess. it's the schedule that's plummeting me.
It's when I just think, eh it's okay to fuck things up, I could finally do some shit.
When I force myself to do things, I always got even lazier. it's also one reason why I probably can never write an actual novel.
The only thing I can be consistent with is when things can just go according to my whim, and no matter what things just can't go wrong.
But yeah, I actually do plan far ahead in actually picking the things I wanna write on.
I sometimes deliberately thought to stay away from writing things in a way that appeal to others. I don't want to sink into their standard, which might as well be different than mine.
I want to write in a way that keeps my options open at all times while trying to not step in a trap that will restrict my own freedom.
While writing to myself without posting it always work, I wanna go for a format, that even if I post it there in the future, it still goes like, no problemo.
That way, I can just have fun and have extra things to stockpile. All I have to do is just edit things a bit, and it's done--practically what I'm doing now.
It's actually really simple. The set up might be quite a brain soup, like:
I started it all from self-discovery. Before I cater to an audience, the most important thing is to thoroughly research my own tendency in writing and make sure, each attempt I make perfectly align with it.
And probably just filter out the kind of people I want my message across.
But well, it probably goes automatic just from my writing style alone, and the topics I love to choose.
To put it simply: it becomes something I need to do, rather than something I should do.
Because I did it in a way that complements my current need.
Rather than pushing myself, I use it to pull myself naturally, just something like gravity. You make it big enough; you find yourself pulled into it and it becomes the ground you stand on.
Actually, speaking like this is also counts as writing to me
I am insane in my own way, so I need insane methods to make it work.
Before that, I experienced some really painful things.
Broke down a lot of times, until I was like--never again.
I won't do anything the usual way anymore.
Actually, writing had brought me so much pain and trauma it's not funny anymore.
Before I finally tried my hardest to think, until I found the way that's perfect for me.
Not everyone can pick up writing easily; I was one with disabilities instead.
But I did pick it up as some sort of therapy.
Because of the community, I was in, I mistook that I can do it the same as anyone else.
It's a stupid idea: if anyone else can do it, you can.
I don't think it works that way because it doesn't specifically tell you, that you have to find your own way that works.
So it implies that, if you try hard enough their own way, you'll eventually get it.
Which in my case, nope.
It's hard to explain it.
When I try to follow something that does not click with me, my brain will just shut itself off.
That is a similar thing when people told me to read Andrew Loomis books for learning an art. All that gesture drawing and stuff
Because it does not speak to me I was unable to even have the slightest thought of lifting a pen and draw.
It was when I thought like, I want to see two girls acting really gay with each other and bam before I realize it--there goes the sketch on my monitor.
It was due to this disability, I often thought of myself incapable of learning
But well, not anymore I guess--so it's good in its own way.
