Pallula's mind felt like it was breaking.
She was everywhere and nowhere, both young and old, alive and dead as the voices of time spoke of the history of her world and the many worlds around them. She was being told Everything and yet could hold onto nothing. She was nothing.
A soft voice spoke down to her but its words were but light and will and she didn't know how to understand them.
She clutched her head together afraid that if she let go for even a moment she would crack open and fall apart. There was no room for anything else but knowledge and with a deep fear she knew she'd lose herself to it.
Her soul trembled against the weight of what she was being told.
But a great clawed hand curled around her splintering self and pulled.
A soft ringing woke Pallula from her place on the crystalline floor. Murmurs drifted around her as if a crowd conversing with itself about soft things. She was filled with pain as she tried to remember the steps of how to hold herself together against the oceanous knowing, panic filled her veins as she pushed against her skin to keep it from peeling away. Her frantic motions slowed and her mind clicked back into place, ".....I don't have to do this."
Pushing herself up she found her head to be in one piece and unharmed,"What.. happened..where.." She looked up and saw the place for the first time. It had the same look of the dungeon she had been trapped in but, it was beautiful and bright. Plants bloomed on every surface swaying in the gentle breeze that flowed in from large windows.
The murmuring crowd that had been around her had been nothing but twirls of wind and left her alone kneeling at the center.
The ringing stopped and she focused.
A great masked figure laid gently against an intricately carved altar as her hair floated in the air long and unrestrained as if it were the wind itself. Her dress fluttered lightly with the soft sound of rustling feathers as she played with the many pendants swirling around her long neck.
The pale white figure pushed herself upright with her four hands and looked down at Pallula with a heavy tiredness and spoke.
-Your mind was traveling but I have focused it here-
The memory of the dream bright and clear rushed back to her now that she was back in a dreaming world. And very suddenly Pallula knew who she was, "I- I know you- You called my name, in the dream. You're Lament."
- And you are the traveler who walked into my temple and stood above my altar.-
Confusion washed over Pallula, she hadn't been to any temple recently or at the very least not one formed under Lament's name. There weren't any temples like that, at least not anymore... ," You're not a story?" So many questions bubbled up but the one before her was a goddess of legend. Who would be brave enough to demand answers from a goddess.
Lament tilted her masked face - I have been as I always have been. If a bit not.-
Her eyes glittered with the moons light - You are here for a Reason -
Pallula couldn't look away from the goddess, her body and being feathery and light, in motion but still, it was so different, "I... I was looking for a way to escape the dungeon I'm trapped in... and to free a siren who's trapped there too, but it was too much. There was SO much!" She covered her face shaking lightly in the memory of the universe.
-I would have a deal and give freedom in return for it -
Pallula looked up at her desperation lacing her voice,"But- You're a goddess what can I do for you?"
Lament waved a hand gesturing to the sunlit room - This was what my temple once was, My most beloved worshiper built this to be closest to me, but time and entrapment took her from me and this small temple fell -
Pallula looked around at the wind shaped people who stood at attention as if playing a memory too distant for details. Lament caressed what would be a face of one of the figures.
-She had fled my main temple, she spoke of too many rules that kept her disconnected from my love, She could not house my body but it was and is my place of dreaming -
Lament's hand crushed the figure - She was my champion and held my blessing, she was to free me, years took her, took all, held me - The goddess held tight to the altar, her body a figure of grief and pain.
Pallula looked away nervously, "I- I'm not sure- what do you mean free you?"
-If you wish to be free you will devote yourself to my cause, find my champion and bring them back to me -
Pallula turned to face Lament fully, "But you just said your champion was dead! How can I find her?"
The goddess seemed to sigh and spoke as if to a child - My champion had family and down it my blessing passed, find my blessing to find my now champion, I will send you as one of my children though long separated we are, this will free you and you, your siren -
"Wait- wait wait wait wait. Send me as one of your children? Wait even if that could happen, I still don't know how to 'find a blessing'. it'd be like.. finding... a piece of wind in a storm. You can't even see wind!" Pallula felt lost.
-You will know, as all my children do, there will be a knowing, Do you agree or will you die in my temple with your siren -
Pallula paused, her dream was coming to an end, the waters burning from the edges, "I.. agree."
- we have a deal -
---
She woke with a deep and all consuming hunger.
Just beyond the dark walls that locked her away there was a mighty storm raging and she needed it. She pushed and pushed against the wall but it only creaked and did not bend.
She opened her sharp toothed mouth and screamed.
This part was meant to be much shorter but then it wasn't and here we are! In any case I have the next few events mapped out and shouldn't be too much of an issue! There may or may not be some errors in this chapter, I finally got it written in a way I liked very last minute >V>''
The Goddess Lament's Appearance:
So anyway hopefully you enjoyed the chapter!
Drop me a comment to let me know what you thought!
And/or please consider faving the chapter or rating the story!! n V n !!
Thank you very much!!
See you all Next Friday!
The question Is, Is this dead? I really enjoyed it and think it's a pretty good start.
Well, as an answer, its only half dead!
Ive been having second, third and fourth thoughts about the story path, since I could write it in two equally interesting ways.
I think I'll throw caution to the wind and write it on the original story path. At least I have more figured out that way haha!
It'll start again soon!
And thank you :D I'm rather proud of it!
@Mintea Yeah!
Is you dead?
Only for awhile, I had to take a break >w>" the story will resume soon! 0v0 !!
@Mintea glad to hear that, hopefully you can resume your good work
She soul trembled -> Her soul trembled
and you your siren -> and your siren
Thank you very much!!
That first one really slipped by me haha
That second one was meant to be weird but I am missing a comma there probably >W>''
-hurries to fix the mistakes!!- I super appreciate your help!!!
The doodles are a nice way to help visualize the characters and what is going on.
Not sure if it would help with writing, but significant details in appearance could be nice-it was surprising to see Lament had a mask on when before the description had been mostly about the hair, and then suddenly "Lament tilted her masked face". Might just be me, but someone wearing a mask would be a significant detail I'd make a mental note of, though it's understandable for Pallula to miss it/not focus on it since she just had a rough time being overloaded with info and is in a dream state.
Since Pallula seems to be the baby angel harpy now, I wonder if her old body exists still or not, and if she'll loot it before she leaves the temple. Maybe finally get the clasp on the cloak fixed so she doesn't numb her hands/claws when using it because of having to hold it closed?
OH!! I never thought about it like that! That's a really great method to describe things with!
I'm definitely going to add that in! Thank you so much! Honestly I didn't want to bore people with too much description but I hit the other end of things with not enough haha! I'll do my best!! >:3
Time to do some editing!!! >:y
ovo Oh Ho Ho~
My secrets I will not tell, but revealed they'll be next week!
Here's hoping it'll be an interesting chapter! :D
Thank you so much for your comment and for reading!! n Vn
(I think this is the right way to reply to comments in a chain? Not familiar with this site's layout)
I understand wanting to avoid the over description that goes on for paragraphs at length for a single character, that can indeed get people to just skim past it. Thankfully adding in mention of the mask as an adjective for Lament helps chain things together more, and adds more mystery to her appearance. If Lament ends up being a recurring character (I know that the story may be named after her, but she may be unable to frequently interact with Pallula for a long time) and you want to add a bit more description in the future about her, you could go into a bit more detail about the mask since it's over her face and people generally look at the face of the people they talk to, barring situations like monarchies where servants might avoid looking at their masters while they speak to them, such as a scout bowing/kneeling while giving the scouting report.
It might go something like this.
"As Pallula dreamt, she found herself in the old temple once more and saw a familiar figure floating in the middle. She was able to get a better look at Lament this time, and noticed some things she'd missed while she was panicking during her last visit. Lament's mask had ornate markings and horns, with a brilliant gem suspended between the two topmost horns. Her dress fluttered as if in a breeze, looking similar to the enormous wings on her back. Pallula was snapped out of her daze when Lament gently asked -Why have you returned here?-"
Do you think that strikes a balance between giving a bit more of a description of a major character without going overboard and giving an in story reason for introducing the further detail? If it helps inspire more stuff for the future, feel free to use it
Hmm, interesting. So her soul was "transfered" to that egg in the harpy's hoard? She's a harpy's hatchling now? I'm looking forward to next week!
Also, I know you're using italic (cursive) text when it's a dream, but having almost the whole chapter as such feels weird. Or maybe it's just me.
You've stylized the Lament's speech differently from the Pallula's – I assume it's because she's either not actually speaking or her voice differs that much from the... normal beings. It's easy to follow, don't get me wrong. But maybe you could've formatted it differently.
I don't really wanna spoil anything but the answer will definitely be in next week's chapter!
HMMM that's fair, I'll definitely think about showing dreams in a different way but I can definitely say there won't be any full chapter dreams for a very long time if ever again.
OH yeah! YEAH! Lament's way of speaking is most definitely for both of those reasons!
That'll probably be another thing for me to think on, since I still want to make it different, but anyway! It's again another thing that won't come up for awhile! so there's time :D !
Thank you very much for reading and commenting!!
I super duper appreciate it!! n Vn