
Cindy placed the stolen documents into Alex’s backpack in between the radio and the largest flashlight. After a moment to think it over, she shoved their remaining spare batteries in the front pocket. Lastly, she grabbed the largest kitchen knife they had and taped a Ziploc bag around it before dropping it inside.
She brought the backpack to Alex, who was double-knotting his boots, and asked, “Are you ready?”
“No more nervous than when we were at the playoffs. Maybe this time I’ll have a cheerleader rooting for me?” He raised an eyebrow.
“Rooting for you to make a fool of yourself like you did there,” she bit back, smirking.
Alex snorted and grinned. “Maybe if this had happened last summer, you could have tried out for the team, learned some school spirit.”
Cindy tried to scowl, but it was hard to hold in laughter. “I can’t believe that after all this–not just the lying, all of it–you still want to be friends with me.”
Alex grew somber, and Cindy worried she’d said something wrong.
He said, “You never made fun of me for being gay. I noticed that, even if nobody else did, and I appreciate it. Especially with all that heckling I got for it in the locker room. You can be an asshole, but I always knew that deep down, you have a good heart.”
Cindy punched him in the arm. “N-Not fair. You’re not allowed to make me cry in front of everyone.”
She took a moment to collect herself, and in that time, Chris walked up to the pair and awkwardly avoided their gaze.
“Hey, do you have room in there for a few water bottles?” he asked.
“Mhm, sure,” Alex replied, opening the backpack.
Chris shoved them in there and walked away briskly. Alex stared after him for a moment before telling Cindy, “How did you fall for him instead of me? I get that he’s hot, but I thought we had something special between us.”
Cindy’s face burned. “I can’t believe it was so obvious to everyone but me. Why was it easy for you to know you liked guys, but I’m just figuring this out now?”
“It wasn’t easy for me to accept, and everyone is different.”
Cindy sighed. She had, growing up, always fantasized about having a girlfriend. Every guy was supposed to. Having a boyfriend had never had the same appeal. It wouldn’t have been a measure of her self-worth in the same way.
“It doesn’t matter,” she decided. “He doesn’t feel that way toward me, not now that he knows who I really am. I’m not worth dating even in theory. Not for him or Diana. Maybe I’ve just fucked up any chance at ever having a dating life.”
Alex pulled on his backpack. “University is a fresh start. Nobody has to know who you used to be.”
“I guess.” Cindy glanced over to where Diana was practicing with a makeshift spear. “If I apologized to everyone else, I guess I have to apologize to her too.” Without looking at Alex, she said, “I’m scared to do it alone. Can you–?”
“Yeah, let’s go.”
Diana was standing uncomfortably close to the edge of the forest, staring deeply into the darkness between the trees while she swung the sharpened stick around. She was so preoccupied with her thoughts that she didn’t react to them approaching at all. It was only when they got close that she tensed up and swung around, holding the spear out in front of her. Seeing Cindy and Alex, she scowled but lowered her weapon.
“Do you need something?”
Alex looked expectantly at Cindy, whose mouth was dry. She struggled to find something–anything–to say. As the moment stretched on, Diana’s scowl deepened. Finally, she snorted.
“If you don’t actually need me for something, please just leave me alone.”
“Diana, please calm down. She’s trying to apol–”
“Don’t tell me to calm down!” Diana snarled. Cindy had never seen her angry before. “I expected this from you, Clay, but Terri knew better than to let you get close to me. She betrayed my trust. There’s no taking that back.”
“...Why?” Cindy choked out. “Why did you ask her to keep us apart?”
Diana sighed and folded her arms. “I never wanted to be left alone with you because I saw the way you looked at me. You weren’t subtle. I knew you’d try to pressure me into dating you the moment you had me cornered. It scared me, because I had no idea how you would react if I turned you down, but I knew it would get ugly.” Her body stiffened. “I made Terri promise never to let you get close enough to me for you to think you had a chance. And she still lied to me to protect you.”
There was a long moment of silence punctuated only by the rustling of leaves before Diana clenched her fists and demanded, “Say something!”
Cindy’s throat tightened, and her eyes stung. It was so wrong! She’d never done anything to hurt anybody! Why was she being treated like a criminal?
She’d had a huge crush on Diana for so long, but to Diana, Cindy might as well have been the scum of the Earth. If she’d just given Cindy a chance, they could have been happy together! But it was never going to happen, and that was Diana’s fault.
Cindy wanted to shout it all at the top of her lungs, to read Diana the riot act for being so goddamn unfair about it all. But hadn’t Terri said the same thing? Not all guys took being turned down gracefully. She must have been talking about Cindy, but she couldn’t only have been talking about Cindy, otherwise she wouldn’t have needed an imaginary friend as an excuse.
Cindy glanced at Alex, but he was pale in the face and too stunned to speak.
“I… I’m sorry,” Cindy gargled out, refusing to look directly at Diana. “I didn’t mean to make you afraid.” She grit her teeth. “Maybe… I dunno. Maybe you had a good reason to be. Doesn’t matter now.”
Diana sighed. “At least it’s resolved. After this, I won’t ever have to see you again.” She started to walk away. “And for what it’s worth, you’re not exactly the person I thought you were.”
When she was well and truly gone, Cindy turned to Alex, who looked sick.
“I… I honestly didn’t know about any of that. I’m sorry.”
“They probably weren’t sure if they could trust you not to tell me.”
“...Yeah, that was probably a good call.”
Cindy was lightheaded. A breeze almost knocked her over.
“I think I’m going to sit down for a bit before we go,” she mumbled, shakily making her way to a folding chair.
“Alright, let’s go!”
Winter was fidgety. She couldn’t stop tapping her foot while she scanned the beach as if on alert for intruders. Slowly, everyone gathered around her, but Winter didn’t look like she was registering their presence.
From where she sat in the folding chair, Cindy took a deep breath and stood up. She was still dizzy but started making her way to join them. As she passed by Terri, who was standing dead still, she stopped to meet her gaze. There was a faraway look in her eyes.
“Terri?”
She blinked and stirred. “What? I’m ready. Are we going?”
Cindy nodded, then paused before whispering, “I talked to Diana. She told me everything. I’m sorry I screwed up everything between you two, and… it was probably smart of you to try keeping me away from her.”
“Thank you. Doesn’t matter, though. I should have been able to make it work.”
Cindy took a long time to mull over her response, then she forwent the hushed tone and said plainly, “I get that you were trying to help, but you could have said no to me. Sometimes, you have to stand up for yourself, even if that makes you an asshole.” Terri tried to interrupt, but Cindy pressed on. “I get that I wouldn’t have listened to you–you don’t have to tell me that–but you had already made a promise to Diana that you couldn’t break. Someone needed to be told the truth: me or her. Honestly, it probably would have been better if you’d just told everyone else from the start no matter how scared I was.”
Terri focused on Cindy, narrowing her eyes, and hissed, “That’s easy for you to say now. I was trying to keep you from having a panic attack about being sent to the hospital.”
“I know.” Cindy tried to keep her voice even. “But there are always going to be secrets, and you can’t trap yourself by trying to keep everybody happy. People want to trust you, Terri; you’re a good friend, but you could be more of an asshole.”
A loud whistle from Winter made them both jump. “Hey! Come on! We’re going!”
Terri exchanged a glance from Cindy that said she wasn’t convinced, but they dropped the matter to rejoin the group.
Poor Cindy :(
I don't think it's fair to put the blame for the kiss on Cindy. Diana kissed Cindy, not the other way around; sure, Cindy reciprocated, but regardless; she was conflicted, and she didn't know Diana felt that way about her male self.
I feel like too much blame is being put on Cindy. Ok, yeah, she screwed up big time, but who wouldn't in her situation?
I hope in the next chapters everyone starts to empathize with Cindy's perspective a little more. Their feelings of betrayal are valid, but so is Cindy being afraid (especially given what happened when basically everyone back talked about her on the first day). Hopefully they can actually become friends now.
Sorry if this came off a bit harsh. I'm loving this story so I got a bit passionate :P. Keep it up, it's great!
No, I get where you're coming from. It's super easy to sympathize with Cindy as the POV character; we understand her motivations and thoughts in a way that nobody in the story can. It's just a messy situation, and I did my best to make every character sympathetic without letting any of them off the hook. I would consider Diana innocent, since she was misled by someone she trusted, but the real root enemy is dishonesty--nobody was willing to tell Alex he couldn't bring Clay, Terri was too afraid to say anything either way, and Cindy didn't feel safe being honest and therefor vulnerable. Just a difficult situation all around.
@QuillRabbit Indeed
I'm looking forward to the next chapters!