“Goodnight”
“Does your parents know you’re here?” Sam asks as he proceeds to close the door calmly after the initial surprise of seeing me here.
I shake my head and Sam puts down the books he’s hugging in his arms onto the table in the centre of the room. He then walks to a corner that has an antique phone situated on a side table. He pulls out his phone and taps on it for a bit before using the antique phone to dial.
Our eyes meet when he glances back but he gives me a soft smile before turning to his smartphone once again. The antique phone doesn’t seem to be functional but then I hear him talk into the receiver.
“Hello… This is Samuel. I’m calling to inform you that Evan is still with me and he might not come home tonight… Yes, please tell Uncle not to worry,”
After a few polite words into the phone, he puts down the handle and heads straight to the sofa in the middle of the room.
“Our phones won’t have any signal other than the main landline. Please sit down and make yourself comfortable,”
I walk to the sofa while scrutinising Sam’s every move. He appears to pay no mind about my presence as he continues to browse the book he brought earlier. His gaze is focusing on the books in his hand while checking every corner, probably to check if there is any faulty printing during production.
I finally settle myself comfortably on the sofa and at this moment, Sam is already on his final book. I think it's at this point that I realise that this room gives a similar vibe to Sam.
It’s clean and simple. Full of books and nothing else other than simple seating for him to read around the room.
“He brought you here.” Sam’s voice startled me and I stare at him while realising that he said a statement rather than a question. We both have a tacit understanding of whom he is referring to and it makes me slowly nod my head as a reflex.
“Ryan seems to care a lot about you,” Sam’s remark doesn’t sound casual at all as I can feel there is some sort of weight to it.
“He’s not the type that gets attached to someone easily. You probably knew that since he was so adverse to you in the beginning. I don’t know what’s going on between the two of you but just be careful,” His last sentence reveals hints of worry and care.
I’ve been facing a lot of dangers these days and it does feel like Ryan always pops up each time I was in trouble. I wonder if he was there for me or he was looking for danger itself.
Ryan would definitely recklessly jump into the burning house the moment he gets a chance. At least, that’s how I see him.
I’ve been searching for answers but I wonder what Ryan is chasing after. Everyone keeps telling me to be careful around him but it's not like I made any effort to be around him. We often end up in the same place or he’s the one coming after me.
Maybe he believes that I can lead him to the answers he’s searching for and I don’t know how I feel about that. Right now, he and I, we’re probably using one another.
There are so many things going on in my mind that sometimes it feels a little overwhelming but this is the choice I made and I could always drop everything to live my life as a regular rich kid.
However, that option would never satisfy me since I know in the back of my mind, I will always feel like an outcast since I don’t even feel like myself sometimes.
I don’t know how long it has been but I feel a tap on my shoulder and I snap my eyes open. I’m a little confused when I find Sam standing next to me until the fog in my mind clears up a little. I must have fallen asleep at some point since the room has been nice and quiet.
“Let’s have dinner,”
When eating with Sam, it’s just the two of us in the quiet dining room. It makes me wonder if he often eats alone because the atmosphere makes me a little uncomfortable. Usually, my mother would make small talk by asking about my day and so on so it's never completely silent at the dining table. It feels weird now that I’m not dining with her.
“Do you always eat alone?” I have to ask because it would be kind of sad if it's true.
Sam puts down his fork and spoon before looking up at me. “No, I usually have people eating with me but today they decided its best not to because you’re here,”
“Why?” I ask curiously since I didn’t expect to receive that answer.
“They’re afraid they’ll intimidate you,” Such a short and brief answer makes me not want to continue the conversation. It’s also true that I am intimidated by them. I’m not sure if I should be embarrassed or thankful.
Everyone appears to be able to snap me in half and the unfamiliar place makes me more anxious. Everything just seems a little shady to the point I don’t want to know probe around.
It’s bad enough that I’m already involved in something dubious. It’s hard enough to figure out stuff happening around me, I don’t need another matter to think about since it doesn’t involve me. I probably won’t come back to this place either because it’s probably off-limits to the public.
Sam brings me a change of clothes for the night after dinner and walks me to the guest bedroom. He gives a kind reminder not to run around. It’s not like I would since I’m already uncomfortable seeing all these buff strangers. Who knows what will happen to me if I bump into them while snooping around.
I make sure to take a long shower to wash away my fatigue. It always feels like I never get a break lately.
Though, I do have to admit that it’s my fault for going into the wolf’s den without proper precaution this time. My mind recalls back to that man in mesh clothes and his ash coloured hair fluttering like they have a mind of their own.
He was mesmerising and the whole dance floor was enchanted by him. They even made way for him without having to be told by those men in blacks that guarded him. Even so, I don’t understand why he makes me feel scared instead as if I’m staring into the eyes of a terrifying monster.
It’s hard to shake that horrible image of him that contrast terribly with his beautiful appearance. I get shivers when I remember his smile that was aimed directly at me. It's as if he knows me. I hope it wasn’t me that he saw at the time because I don’t want to get involved with him at all.
I realise that I forgot to bring my change of clothes so I wrap the towel around my waist after patting myself dry. I walk out of the bathroom and head to the bed where I left the clothes with my back facing the door. I take the pants habitually to wear them on first.
As I’m putting my other leg on the other side of the pants, I hear the door open and a voice calling out my name. I quickly pull my pants up and turn around in shock. The culprit that enters my room unannounced appears unfazed as he walks closer to me.
“We need to talk,” Our eyes meet and I start to feel the heat coming up to my face since my upper half is still exposed.
“Can’t you wait outside until I finish changing?” I politely request him to leave because he’s standing a little too close right now.
Ryan doesn’t respond but instead, his eyes slowly trail down and then he smirked. I cover my chest as my face turns red.
“Oh, it’s pink.” He turns around after saying it and walks out of the room with a chuckle.
“Wh-What?! Pervert!” I grab the pillow and toss it to the door but he already closed it by then. I crouch to the ground because I can’t believe that I just got harassed by him. I slam my hand to the floor a few times to shake away the feeling of embarrassment from that dumb comment made by an unimportant person.
Ugh! I will definitely get back at him. That bastard!
I get up from the floor and pat away the dust before putting on the shirt. Then I turn to the door to let Ryan back inside. He walks in casually as if nothing happened earlier and for some reason that makes me slightly unhappy.
There is no seating in the room except for the bed so I awkwardly remain standing until Ryan tells me to sit down on the bed. The two of us sit next to each other without talking. The atmosphere between us slowly changes, unlike the moment we had earlier.
The silence lingers for a while until Ryan speak first,
“Why did you go there even though you know it's not safe?”
At first, I’m not sure what to say until I remembered that he went with me to Ruby’s bar and we both met Mama. He heard everything and he knows that I’m not “Luke”.
Shouldn’t he understand why I’m doing this? No one gave me any answers so I can only dig at the past to find out why I ended up here in the first place.
“I had to,”
“No! You didn’t have to!” I didn’t expect Ryan to react so strongly to my word.
With him being angry makes something inside me boil so I snap back at him. “What do you mean by that?! I had to because no one was willing to tell me anything! Mama barely said anything. You and my so-called father didn’t say why I’m in danger either! Abby is hard to reach nowadays so I can’t ask her since whenever I see her she looks tired. How else am I supposed to know anything if I don’t ask around?!”
Ryan looks as if he got out of a trance when I yelled back. I haven’t put out a temper like this to anyone before. I surprised myself for even doing it. It makes me feel better and at the same time sad.
All my frustration starts to spill out and I can’t hold back anymore. All I want is to know why I’m still alive and inside this stupid body!
“I was the one who found you,”
“Wh...what?” I turn to him with furrowed brows until something clicks in my mind.
He’s not talking about me.
“You found Luke?” I look into his eyes and I can see pain.
He turns away from me and ruffles his own hair. After that he slouches a little, allowing his head to hang. I can’t see his expression anymore but I know that whatever is weighing on his mind seems to be complicated.
“What happened that day?”
“I was visiting the club as usual and I thought I wouldn’t find anything. I saw you on the floor with traces of those on your body. Your pulse was weak and you barely reacted when I called your name. It felt like you were slipping away through my fingers and I-,” He let out a heave of sigh.
He turns to look at me with pursed lips and glistening eyes. He scans me from head to toe but he becomes gloomier instead. He looks away to stares at his knees again.
“That day… Did he die that day…?” His voice trails off and I can’t even give him a proper response because I don’t know the answer to that either.
Every death seems to hit Ryan hard and for some reason, I’m reminded by that day of the funeral. He broke down and cried. I don’t know how to comfort him and decides to hold his hands that are on his knee.
He reacts to it by gripping my hand. It doesn’t hurt but my world spins for a moment before I realise that Ryan has pulled me into his embrace. I freeze for a second before I wrap my arm around his back. That makes him tighten the hug further. It’s a little uncomfortable because I’m not used to someone being this close to me.
Yet when his scent wafted into my nose, the tense muscles in my body slowly relaxed unconsciously. I allow myself to lay in his embrace. I can feel Ryan burying his face into my nape while I caress his back in a slow and gentle movement.
I’m unsure of how long time has passed but Ryan finally let go of me. Somehow I feel reluctant to leave his warm body but I adjust myself to be seated properly once again.
“Sorry,” His voice is low and it’s not clear if he is saying this for hugging me or because of the conversation.
“It's okay,” After all, it would be painful to see the people we care departed just like that. Unlike my past, I would definitely be sad if the people around me die. This shows that Ryan does care about him.
“I actually came here to talk to you about what happened at the club,” It doesn’t sound like he’s fine but much better compared to just now. A change of topic is good for both of us.
“Apparently an old friend recognise me and wanted more of that thing so he said he will take me to see my usual dealer since the spot has moved,” I explain without hiding anything.
“Did they do something to you?” He asks while furrowing his brows.
I shake my head and reply, “No, the dealer said that there isn’t any left and I think his usual supplier stopped providing them to him. He said that he found one that might be able to give him some so he wants me to go there and pick it up if I can,”
“Why didn’t he send his own people?”
“They… might be dead,” I didn’t really want to tell Ryan this part because I’m still contemplating on that offer. It might be my last resort if I can’t find any other clues. I’m worried Ryan will stop me.
Ryan's eyes widen but he regains his calmness within a blink.
“Is that why you were running away? They didn’t like that you rejected their offer?”
I’m not exactly too sure how to explain this part. “No…,”
“What’s wrong?”
I try to word it carefully but when the image of that smiling man pops up in my mind, I subconsciously shudder. Ryan could definitely see my body shaking because it's a subconscious reaction that I’m can’t control.
“Are you okay? Did they do something to you?”
I shake my head because no one did anything to me.
However, my body instinctively telling me that there is a red flag on that guy. It could be safer if I explain to Ryan but I’m not sure if he would understand since nothing happened. There wasn’t a single problem yet I can’t stop myself from being scared of that man.
“There was this guy. He had these mismatched eyes and…,” I can barely gain enough courage to explain his appearance but luckily it appears to be enough for Ryan to know who it is I am talking about.
“Did that guy do something to you?!” Ryan reacts strongly about it by grabbing my shoulders and clutching them. It hurts to the point I involuntarily wince in pain. He lets go of my shoulders when he sees me in pain and apologizes in a small voice.
“It’s okay… that guy didn’t do anything to me. I was just spooked by him when he smiled at me,”
My words didn’t make Ryan ease up at all. “He… He smiled at you?” Ryan utters each sentence slowly as if he is trying to digest the information.
I nod my head to confirm that with him while trying not to make that image pop up in my mind again.
“Do you know him?” Ryan asks and I just shake my head because it's the truth. I have never met him before.
“Then, does he know you?” Although it sounds like he is asking me, his voice trails off and his eyes glide away like his mind is no longer here with me. That question hangs in the air, unanswered.
For some reason, the thought of that person knowing me scares me more than the time I was almost mauled over by wolves. I absolutely don’t ever want to meet him again. That close encounter was enough to scare the living out of me.
“Do you think it's possible?” When I asked this question, I am hoping that the answer that Ryan gives me would be ‘no’ but I shouldn't have asked at all. I don’t like hearing what came out of Ryan’s mouth at all.
“Yeah, you might not know him but he might know Luke,”
I do not like that. Not one bit.
“He could also be the one that sent those people to chase after us. It seems that you have something he wants,”
Ryan follows up with another scary explanation making all the blood in my face drained. This means that there is a possibility that he will send people to catch me again. The fact that my life is in danger finally feels real to the point that cold sweat starts forming on my back.
“Are you okay?” The fear makes me not realise that Ryan has put his face so close to me. He touches my forehead and continues, “You look pale,”
I pull his hands away while shaking my head then changing it to a nod instead. “Yeah, it's nothing. I just... don’t like thinking about him,”
“Then don’t. Think about me instead,”
He looks into my eyes without a change of expression showing that he doesn’t feel embarrassed to say that at all. I blink a few times before frowning. He flicks my forehead out of the blue and I instinctively cover my stinging forehead.
“Ow! Why did you do that?!”
He doesn’t reply but snickers instead. He gets up from the bed and says, “It’s late. You need your rest,”
I walk him to the door out of politeness, not that he needs to be escorted since it’s merely a few steps away. We face each other at the doorway, separated by a few centimetres of distance.
He invades my space to the point I become conscious of it but I didn’t say anything. There is an odd balance of discomfort and wanting him to come closer.
“It’s been a long day for you. We’ll discuss more on what happened today when tomorrow comes,”
I nod and hope that he goes away already after a wave of tiredness washes over me. The rollercoaster of emotions and physical exertions of today was exhausting. I wave at him to shoo him away while saying “Goodnight,” softly.
Ryan suddenly reaches his hand out to my face and brushes away the stray hair that has been bothering me for a while. When he pulls his hand away, he smiles.
“Goodnight, sayang1a term for endearment,”
