“Uh… Emmeth? Will you please tell me what the fuck is wrong here? I don’t see anything.”

“We appear to be trespassing.”

“... That explains literally nothing.”

“It’s rude to whisper among yourselves.” the monster commented, “Especially as I’m still waiting on your response. What crude trespassers you are.”

This, Emmeth decided, was an incredibly bad situation.

However, if the beast wanted to talk… 

“My--” Emmeth cut himself off at the sound of an unfamiliar voice, before realizing it was his own. He had yet to fully adjust to all the minutiae of his new body. There were a few things he did like about it though; namely, he no longer had holes in his lungs.

“My apologies.” Emmeth began again, giving a slight bow as he did so. “I was unaware that these woods were your property.”

“Well, your actions have left me very cross.” The monster stated. “Your marching about is keeping all the worthwhile prey away.”

“We did not mean to intrude. If you would be so kind as to point out which direction we should exit in, we will be on our way.”

“Oh, I’m afraid it’s far too late for that.” She chuckled. “If you wish to leave here, you must offer me something of value.”

So, Emmeth was being robbed by an antlered monster in the forest. Well, it could have been worse. At least it didn’t seem to want to eat him.

Peak, on the other hand, had no idea what the fuck was going on. “Emmeth, are you seriously-”

“Shh!”

“I hold no objects of great value, but would my scythe suffice?” Emmeth asked.

The monster brought a finger to the front of her deer skull mask (Emmeth hoped it was a mask, but he could see nothing beneath it) like a philosopher tapping his chin as they pondered a great mystery. “Hmmm…” she hummed. “No, I don’t believe I’ll be doing any farming. No no no, that doesn’t hold much value at all.”

“What would be adequate?” Emmeth questioned her.

The monster pretended to consider the question before delivering her answer. “Flesh and blood should do nicely.”

“... That might be an issue.” Emmeth said carefully.

“In what way? I’m sure you have plenty to spare.” Though he had no skills for it, Emmeth swore he could feel the beast’s hunger as it stared at him. 

Emmeth decided it was time to rely on the skills he had just been showing off to Peak. 

“I worked myself down to the bone to find the body I wear today. I could not live without it.”

“And yet, it is with flesh that I shall be paid.”

“I never said I would avoid payment, merely that I cannot offer my own flesh; however, if you would grant me time, I would be able to collect enough to satisfy you, miss…?”

“Oh, I am no fair maiden, but you may call me Wendigo. And your name?” 

Emmeth vaguely recognized the name, but stopped his thoughts from going down his path so he could better focus on what was in front of him. “I am Emmeth. Would allowing me time to search out flesh be unreasonable?”

“An interesting proposition.” The Wendigo strode towards Emmeth slowly with a loping gait. “I could, however, take your flesh right now and be done with it.”

Emmeth was thinking on his feet. “I am not so uncouth as to only offer flesh equal to my body. For this has been dead for a day. The meat I offer shall be fresh and of a greater volume than this weak old man.”

The Wendigo halted, now five feet away from Emmeth. “Oh, a far more… enticing bargain. But how would I know that you and your companion will return? I need insurance.”

Emmeth reached into his pocket and removed a burned and ruined charm, one that had accompanied him for his journey so far. “This was my son’s.” he said. “It is all I have to remember him by.”

“A trinket of sentimental value will indeed do nicely.” The Wendigo said, holding it up.

Emmeth started. He hadn’t seen The Wendigo grab it or felt the charm leave his hand. 

He raised his estimate of The Wendigo’s abilities by several levels. 

“Now,” the charm seemingly vanished from her hands, “time is what you have asked of me, and time is what shall be granted. You have…” she looked up, “Hmmm… You have until the sun sets.”

“Thank you for your generosity.” Emmeth bowed his head.

“Oh, don’t thank me yet. Once your time runs out... I’ll be hunting.”

Emmeth looked up, and The Wendigo was gone.

[ ) ( ] [ ) ( ] [ ) ( ]

“So either we feed the monster lady or we both die again.”

“Yes.”

Emmeth sat down and related what had transpired to Peak, and the rock decided to summarize it. This time, the stone managed to boil it all down without missing anything. 

Unfortunately, Peak wasn’t satisfied with Emmeth’s report. 

“Look, just explain to me what it is. Just saying ‘It’s a Wendigo’ doesn’t cover it.”

“A Wendigo is a monster of folklore. There have been stories, but never any confirmed sightings.”

“Just describe it the best you can. What can you tell me?”

“Dangerously little.” Emmeth stated. “I do not know whether there is one Wendigo or multiple, I don’t know its abilities, and I don’t know if it will betray us or not.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Peak groaned, “just tell me what it fucking looks like. I’m not asking for its life story.”

“Oh.” 

Emmeth proceeded to describe it to Peak. 

“Yeah, that’s a spooky bitch.” Peak concluded. “You seriously couldn’t see beneath the deer skull?”

“No.” Emmeth answered.

“Well, the idea that a monster is wandering around the forest and I can’t see them is pretty fucking terrifying to me.”

Emmeth resisted the urge to point out Peak couldn’t actually see anything. “There is nothing we can do about that for now. We currently have a minimal chance of surviving a direct confrontation with her, so I suggest we don’t have one.”

“Well, yeah, that goes without saying. So what now?”

“We go hunting.” Emmeth answered, getting up from his spot.

“Right, hunting. How do we do that? Like, I’m not the most stealthy guy. I’m probably pretty noisy, and the earth shifting around behind me is probably pretty conspicuous. How the hell am I supposed to hunt anything like this?”

“I shall be assisting you.” Emmeth reached down and picked Peak up. 

Holding Peak in his hand would be dangerous, as Emmeth would need them both for holding his scythe. His pockets were too small to fit the rock too. Luckily, Emmeth had an idea that would work, so long as Peak didn’t notice.

Emmeth carefully lifted Peak up and secured the rock at his waist.

“Now, we can--”

“Wait just a fucking second… Why didn’t you put me in your pockets before?” Peak wondered.

“Now, we can travel quietly.”

…

“Emmeth, why didn’t you answer the question?”

“I do not wish to.”

“Just tell me why I had to push myself across the ground FOR SEVERAL HOURS.”

“... You will not like the answer.”

“I’m already not liking your answer!”

Emmeth braced himself. “I did not put you in my pocket.”

“Yeah you did, I’m right at your waist…” Peak’s thoughts wandered as he tried to put two and two together.

“Did you tie me to your belt?”

“I did not.”

“Then how else would you--” and then it clicked.

…

“Am I in your pants?”

Emmeth’s silence spoke volumes. 

… 

“Emmeth, get me the fuck out of here.”

“No. I need you secured--” 

“AND I NEED TO NOT BE IN YOUR PANTS!”

“Peak--”

“WHAT THE FUCK, MAN!?”

“You’re too loud when you roll across the ground.”

“THEN FUCKING HOLD ME IN YOUR HAND!” 

“I need both hands in order to--”

“NO! FUCK THIS!”

Dirt began to crawl up Emmeth’s leg while Peak protested against this great cruelty.

“I’m not gonna be in your fucking pants.”

“Peak, stop this!” Emmeth walked away from where he was standing, but more dirt continued to climb.

“THEN PULL ME OUT OF YOUR PANTS!”

“Why are you so upset about this?” Emmeth tried playing dumb.

This only served to make Peak angrier. “OH, DON’T PULL THAT SHIT WITH ME! You knew I would be mad, you fuck!”

Emmeth took a step and stumbled as the ground gave away. He tried to lift his foot only to find it stuck in the ground, and the hold the ground had was growing tighter.

Emmeth was starting to get worried now.

“Peak, we need to start hunting. Stop it.”

“Fucker, don’t try and get out of this shit!”

The dirt crawling up his legs was weighing him down as more clung together around his nether region.

“Peak, I’ll take you out if you suggest a reasonable alternative.” Emmeth said in an attempt to be diplomatic.

“Reasonable alternative? You trying to backpedal now, shithead!?”

The dirt fully enveloped Emmeth’s legs.

“You're gonna fucking suffer for this one!”

[ ) ( ] [ ) ( ] [ ) ( ]

“Mush!”

Emmeth supposed it was fitting karma, for him to be stuck in this situation. Honestly, he should have expected something like this. Emmeth was still Peak’s carrier, except now, Peak’s creativity had reared its ugly head and had its way with Emmeth’s dignity. 

Well, Emmeth was being a bit melodramatic. It could have been much worse, like if Peak had made another palisade but designed for only one zombie to carry it. As it was, the only thing dealing blows to Emmeth’s ego was Peak’s words.

Peak was attached to Emmeth’s back by bands made of dirt, looping over the shoulders, crossing each other on the chest, and then going to the back, where Peak sat. While it might be uncomfortable or painful for a human to wear, Emmeth barely felt the pain anymore. Well, he could still feel the pain, but it barely affected him. 

Honestly, this was a better solution than putting Peak into his pants, but it was the rock’s attitude that was really grating Emmeth’s nerves.

“Onwards, my valiant steed! Yah!”

“Peak, quiet.”

“What was that? All I heard was a horse neighing.”

What was even more annoying was because the rock was placed in the middle of Emmeth’s back, it was an endeavor to grab Peak. 

“Peak, I need silence.”

“I am being completely silent. Do you hear anything?”

“Then stop talking.”

“Does this even count as talking?”

“Stop trying my patience. You’re distracting me.” 

“Fine.” Peak went back to observing their surroundings.

The system they had worked out for searching the forest was as such: Emmeth would creep along. He had the hunting skill group, with the skill stealth at level three and the tracking at level four. He would keep his eyes out to find signs of any animals.

The rock would let Emmeth know if there was an animal sneaking up on them or if there was an animal underground that they could dig up.

Unfortunately, it seemed whatever The Wendigo had said about them scaring away all the game might have been accurate. Even though they had been looking high and low for several hours now, they came across no animals. 

Despite how boring the entire venture was for Peak, the rock tried to keep itself calm. After all, their lives were riding on this. 

At least Peak made one significant gain from the whole mess.

Skill [Meditation: Calming - Level 1] has been attained.

Peak might have flipped its shit if the stone wasn’t feeling so fucking chill. As it was, it was a distraction from keeping an eye out for danger.

But that didn’t really matter too much, right? After all, things were fine. There wasn’t anything around. 

Well, there were lots of things around, all sorts of things Peak could look out for if it paid enough attention.

Bugs buzzed through the air, swarms making chaotic patterns impossible to understand. An anthill made a maze of souls, climbing over and under one another. Beetles on bushes, caterpillars on leaves, a butterfly drifting through the air… 

Souls like stars, constellations, orbiting in flaming fractals, truth hidden within infinity. Life within life, death within death, spiraling inwards and outwards in every direction. Orange and red and white and pink and blue and green and purple and yellow and more and more and more and more. Undulating and twisting, like a cosmic god of tentacles reaching out into the world through each of them. They were all god, and god was them. For where did they begin and god end? Peak sure as fuck didn’t know, and the rock didn’t care.

‘This is the best trip I’ve ever been on!’ Peak thought to itself. ‘I need to do this more often!’

The world seemed to agree with this. 

Skill: [Soul: Sense] has reached [Level 6].

With that extra level, Peak everything became more focused, more defined. The range increased as well, but the farther away things were, the more fuzzy they became.

Peak continued to observe the beauty and majesty, the swirling vortex that imparted cosmic truth. That or Peak was reading too much into the pseudoscience bullshit.

Then, god descended from the above, his form made clear to Peak. A brilliant sun stepping down from above, his holy luminescence carving its form into reality. It was a silhouette of a galactic beast, its shape that of a deer, its antlers made of galaxies and its eyes glowing with divine radiance.

No, wait, Peak wasn’t going on a trip. There was a big antlered something up in the trees.

‘Huh. Is that what The Wendigo looks like?’ Peak wondered. 

That question was put on the backburner when it started galloping down out of the sky.

“Emmeth, sky deer!”

“What?” 

“Deer in the sky! RUN!”

Emmeth looked up. “That’s not a deer,” was all Emmeth could muster in response before he dived to the ground. Not a moment had passed before the beast charged downwards at where Emmeth had been standing moments ago. It rushed by his spot on the ground, galloping on air, before charging back into the sky.

Though the monster had thin legs with cloven hooves holding up a large body, it wasn’t a deer. Gray haired with wide and flattened antlers, it was much larger than any common buck.

No, this was much worse than a deer. 

This was a moose.