The Auxiliary Station

Dreaming is a sweet feeling. The disconnection from reality is unlike anything you can find on Earth, an exquisite experience mixing the uniqueness of our personality to the assets of our blurry memory. Imagine, for an instant, undeterminably falling down despite your acute senses screaming you’re only taking a stroll on the street, or conversing with someone, zealously arguing about a personal subject, but you yourself can’t even begin to understand, translate, remember or even hear what the other person has to say. The scene turns into an ambiguous colour where walls and pillars are intertwined, luring your perception away while the skilled magician hidden in your skull does his trick to show you the white rabbit appearing from seemingly nowhere.

What you see and what you hear inside the fictional world fabricated by your brain in the span of a flash are only post-processed thoughts you had during the day, truths melted to become lies and lies forged to become truths. But what is true and what is false in a dream? What is the difference between a bleeding wound and a broken heart? Exactly what you thought: it’s our own perspective about it. Everything we’ve learnt, seen, touched, tasted, smelled or heard, is stocked in a familiar and lazy pattern somewhere with our neurons, those chaotic beings unable to tell left from right, and also not that chaotic if they can manage to make you sing the same dumbing ad for the next hours.

All those faces, all those words, all those objects and tints crazily arranged before you, you’ve certainly caught them somewhere, sometimes too briefly for you to remember, sometimes too unconsciously for you to tell. Believe it or not, but you did meet them once in your life. You can deny and not lie about it because it is true from your point of view, but that only means you’ve never consciously met them, meanwhile your unconscious side, which is fully accessible for your brain to mess with, could give you an exact description of what happened that day. Ever heard of this fact, that we humans are only able to use 10% of our brain? It is more or less correlated, but, you know, I’m only a high-schooler who’ve read a lot of books about it, so all I can talk about is what I’ve understood and what I thought about it.

If you wonder why I am so focused on the subject, the reason is simple: I have the dream –or rather the ambition- to experience a lucid dream. I am longing to take control of this unlawful world, to write on those non-linear sheets already covered with random prints and marks with no logic behind. But my ambition doesn’t stop here. Do you know what the most cherished dream of Mankind is? It’s quite easy: it is the ability to fly freely, high in the sky. Well of course, many people will certainly object and suggest another idea, but please take it in a more abstract way. Flying. Freely. High in the sky. Give it some thought, some metaphorical illusions without taking their definition too seriously. Put yourself in the shoes of the avatar you manifested, this one being you’ve thrown on this stage which appeared in your mind and made to look just like you. Now it’s you, and you find yourself where you wanted this doppelganger of yourself to be.

Alluring, isn’t it? That’s what’s awesome with dreams. As they’re not real, and thus are neither constricted by the natural laws of physics nor by the bounds of society, they are perfect material to picture reality itself in an acceptable appearance. Sounds like escapism, you say? It is the same with mathematics, this bundle of man-made rules close enough to the truth to explain it, and yet it’s still imperfect and prone to errors. But we use it because it’s the closest comprehension of our reality we’ll probably ever get in our existence. Then couldn’t we do the same with dreams? Those scientists have already scratched at the matter and gave it some thought; the more reason for me to follow their path and use lucid dreams to create my own formidable training grounds! Not in the physical sense, of course, but being able to train my psyche in such a peculiar way is what sparkled the embers of ambition in my life.

Dreams are nice because they’re dreams. Reality is the true nightmare.

“Are you awake?”

… Talking about nightmares, an unavoidable shriek pulled me from my deep thoughts. I have always been the kind of guy to daydream whenever I wasn’t busy with something, looks like half an hour has already passed by the time I finished my homework and started pondering about stuff. I once supposed I had narcolepsy because of my repeatedly absent mind, however, it appeared it was a mere case of laziness from my part.

I pretended to lose my focus on my papers to look at my mom standing at the threshold of my room, she was still wearing indoors clothing so I guess she wasn’t going anywhere.

“Can you take your sister to the train station tonight?”

An easy quest for a man like me, it shall gift me with little but precious experience points. As for the reward, maybe I’ll stop by the confectioner and buy myself something.

“Sure.” I answered without the slightest worry.

Once she acknowledged my answer and left my sight, I started to stretch my sore limbs to allow the blood to flow. Maybe sitting all day like this isn’t healthy for my body, I’ll try to motivate myself and stroll around the city before going back home. I quickly checked the clock on my computer in order to be aware of the current time, only to remember that I still didn’t turned it on to not let myself be distracted while studying. A good mindset, I should say, but its drawback was too painfully obvious to me. Nevermind, at least my phone is always charged.

05:34 PM

She told me to take her daughter to the station tonight, and apparently afternoon was soon to be over. How much time did I have left? I should ask my sister, but knowing her she’s probably holed up in her bedroom doing whatever sisters do in their bedroom at daytime. Deducing the wrongness of taking the stairs to directly check with her, I type on my smartphone and send her a short message. She quickly answered back, apparently already aware that I was in charge of her escorting, and also filling me with important Intel like the train’s Id and schedule.

[Train n°186374, 07:45PM]

Two hours left… When you count approximately thirty minutes from home to reach the main hall, then it left us at the very least one full hour to laze around. How nice. My phone rang again, a second text from my sister.

[I must go. My friends are waiting for me at the station.]

Who in their right mind rendezvous at a station two hours earlier to take the same train? Nonetheless, it was my duty to accompany her until she arrives at her destination. The sooner the better, I should say. I send her back another message, telling her to get ready to leave, before going for the cubbyhole to fetch my footwear and my vest to shield me from the exterior’s threatening wind. If anything, I hate those stupid gusts that keep whistling in your eardrums and blowing your hair. That’s probably the one thing that I’ve never dreamed about, and I’m happy this way.

While I was putting on my garment, I noticed the heavy-looking blue suitcase next to the entrance. I don’t know how many cubic meters she’d put inside, but now I kind of understand why my mother asked me to go with my sister. There is no way in hell she could walk with this load to the station, so my family turned me into a mule to assist my sibling. Neat. But at least I’ll have an occasion to buy some sweets.

Talking about loads, the loud bangs coming from upstairs indicated the hurried arrival of my sister. I’ve never understood why she had to stamp the ground at each of her steps whenever she was going up or down in a stair. Is it a tic from her, or maybe a way to relieve some stress? The fact remains that it never bothered me that much, but as the big brother I had to educate this foolish sister about her manner.

“Can’t you not rampage everytime you take the stairs?”

“Okay…”

… Did I get through? She get what I meant, right? Probably. Maybe. So much for playing the “big brother” role, I don’t think I can keep this up for an extended period of time. She went past me to go and grab her shoes, a delicate pair which must have costed a lot.

“Put on you mantle too; it’s cold outside.”

“Okay…”

… Did I get through? I mean, she’s now wearing her mantle as I instructed her, but sometimes I feel like I just don’t get how she thinks at all. I can’t help but worry about her future, she would need some teachings about autonomy, discipline and whatever other cool-sounding words crossed my mind. She’s already kind of cute, I guess. I mean, she’s my sister, of course her beauty appeals to me, but I’m talking about another person’s perspective of her appearance. I don’t know much about her actually, how many friends she has, if she plays video games like her brother, if she has some artistic skill or something. But what I know is how she behaves: a true Viking’s daughter who never hesitates to throw herself in a struggle if another kid start to be violent at school. My parents often had to visit her teacher to apologize in her stead, because the culprit, even though she was forced to voice out an apology, never did wilfully. And I alone in this vast world know the reason behind her action, as no one else could make her explain herself. That’s what makes me her brother, after all.

I know I should spend some time with her, some quality time between fellow siblings in order to know each other a bit more, maybe sipping some tea and beer together while talking about anything. I’m the one drinking beer, of course, she’s still too young to taste alcohol. It sounded like a good idea, however it aroused another hard-to-answer question. When will we allocate some time together? Oh. Maybe… Maybe we can, now! I mean, we’re going to walk for thirty minutes together, that means we’ll certainly have plenty of time to talk about this and that! What a great mind I have.

“I’m ready.”

Shoes. Mantle. Even a bonnet. She sure is ready to go.

“Okay. Let’s go then.”

She nodded. I opened the door without forgetting to grab the heavy-looking case with me. Fun fact: it wasn’t only heavy-looking, this case weighs a lot!

“Umph! Do you really need to take so much with you?”

“Yes.”

A simple and straightforward answer, I like it, but I would love to hear an explanation behind it! Well, I didn’t mind much, it was probably some essential stuff she had to carry to her friend’s house. My duty was to escort her until we reached the station and met her friends, but maybe I should have been filled with a bit more details before accepting the request. Too late to refuse, now I must bear with it.

We both started to walk in the direction of the station. Or, may I correct, I was walking in the direction of the station while my sister was clinging on my sleeve and simply followed me. She should be old enough to know about the city and the path that leads to the station, so couldn’t she not grab onto me like this? Well, at least I’m sure I won’t lose her on our way or something.

“What time is it?”

I should’ve checked on my own before going out.

“It’s 05:48PM.”

She answered while looking at her phone. Almost a quarter was already spent and we only started on our journey. We passed many streets while we were heading to the downtown where the station was located, unfortunately met some people on the narrow sidewalk which made it awkward for both of us with the heavy luggage I was pulling, had to stop many times before we were allowed to cross the road. In short: it was an arduous adventure, one I believe will fill my quota for the weekly physical efforts I needed to sweat.

I know I planned to discuss random things with my sister… But what should we talk about? Isn’t directly asking what she likes cringe or something? That would be embarrassing if someone asked me out of nowhere what my preferences were. Then let’s not ask such personal questions… Maybe how she’s doing at school? Or what she’ll be playing with her friends? But if I ask about her scholarship, I’m afraid she won’t talk much about a subject she doesn’t really care about. As for her friends, isn’t it me prying into her privacy? That’s a no-go too, I guess. Finally, maybe staying silent was the best option, after all I don’t need to know everything about her to know she’s my sister.

We were walking for quite some time already, and I believe we still need ten more minutes until we arrived. Maybe she also felt time was growing short, because she suddenly pulled on my sleeves to get my attention.

“Mh? What is it?”

“I’d like one.”

She pointed at the confectioner I planned to visit once I was done here. The showcase displayed a myriad of sugar and other delicacies which made me salivate with anticipation. From here, I quickly spotted the strawberry flavoured cake, chocolate, nougat, barley sugar, candies, liquorice and many more on the shelves. The prices were also shown next to each product, but my bank account (and my desire to eat them) hid them from my sight. I didn’t care how expansive they were –if they were-, all I wanted was to taste their sweetness. And I suppose she wanted too. As brother as sister, they said.

“You know what? Me too. Let’s grab some.”

“Yay!”

We went inside empty-handed, then outside with a transparent bag full of wonders. Mine was lightweight when compared to hers, but that was because I told her to share with her friends once they met. For now, we both ate from my bag, I was randomly picking while she had the audacity to select the candies she preferred. Knowing she loves nougat, I let her pick them first. Now we were walking with a heavy suitcase and candies in our hands towards the train station, our mood brightened by the delicious sugar we cheerfully licked with no shame. It didn’t take long before we finally sighted the tall clockwork towering the station.

Once inside, she looked at the surrounding people to spot her friends. They weren’t in the main hall, unfortunately. We even checked the waiting room where people were usually seated, but again to no avail. As I was more and more worried about our current circumstances, I sent a glare at the clock.

“06:10PM or something… We’re early.”

I tasked my sister to see if her friends were around or not, but she told me they sent her a message they were already waiting for her at the station. Yet they weren’t here. How strange… But I had a hunch of what was happening.

Just to make everything certain, I went to the information desk and asked the employee about the train my sister was supposed to get in.

“Hello, I’m looking for the train numbered… 186374. Can you tell me when it’ll arrive?”

“Yes, sir. Train n°186374…”

The madam typed the numbers on her keyboard then asked the computer about the whereabouts of the train. It took a few long minutes until she came up with a result.

“I have one train with this number that’ll come to this city. However, he doesn’t serve this station. You’ll have to go to the auxiliary station.”

Yeah, I thought so. The auxiliary station is the second station built in this city, a sort of emergency platform when too many trains arrive at the same time. It happened once, when many events where scheduled on following weeks and many, many people gathered here. Or at least tried, because both the hostel and the trains were full. To avoid any similar situation, they quickly built a second station, smaller in comparison, but still sufficient to accommodate four more lines for transport. That was more than enough to allow everyone to invade our city next year.

I thanked the informant before taking my leave, explaining the situation to my sister while I sighed in frustration. Another thirty minutes walking with this burden on my arm. I’ll need at least a whole month to recuperate from this strain, and a lot of sugar too. I’ll buy a second bag at the store once I return home.

One more time, we crossed many streets, met many people and so on. I only noticed now, but the sun was already setting when we arrived at the main station. The lamps were already lit in advance, while many façades turned on their illuminations, mostly for advertising rather than brightness, but it did spell the soon-to-come night over us. The horizon was shimmering its last orange hue, then will turn purple then dark in the next ten minutes or so. We’ll end up walking in the dark at this rate. It didn’t take long for the sun to disappear, leaving the city on its own to produce its own artificial light for the citizens to see what they were stepping on.

As for me, I felt like I was nearing my end. I don’t know about my sister, but traveling with this stupidly onerous case proved to be more difficult than expected. I had no more sugar to spare, while my arm grew number after each step. If only I had a car or something, it would have made the run easier for me. No point in complaining about those things, I breathed in and pursued our journey together.

The auxiliary station wasn’t too far away now, we could actually already see its outline in the distance. Or more like the structures surrounding it. Probably built in a hurry, the station was surrounded by old buildings and abandoned hangars they still didn’t demolished for various reasons. Maybe it’s too costly for them, or maybe people never really bothered to file a complaint about it. They did in truth demolished one old hangar a few years ago to construct a parking, but it was only large enough to allow a dozen of cars to park there and nothing more. I don’t know why they’re so reluctant, they could just get rid of all those ruined empty places and build something more productive instead. But what do I know? I’m only a high school student in the end.

We marched along one of those hangars. The thing was completely eroded and covered by vines and holes, and the glassless windows almost made me believe something was looking back at me from inside. Seriously, can’t they just get rid of these buildings once and for all? Our path was crossing with an exit made for trucks to get in and out of the hangar, the door must have been removed for safety measures because I see nothing but blackness in its stead. While walking in front of the entrance, I unwillingly sent my gaze inside the lightless place.

Do you know this feeling, when you can’t see it, yet it stares at you? An absent existence, a weighty thought, a choking breathing. You can’t get rid of this unsettling feeling, no matter what you try. It doesn’t exist. There is nothing inside. It’s really easy to repeat those words in your head, but if it was enough to repel our inner fear then I don’t know what the heck I’m doing wrong here. Thanks to the unhelpful lamps, I couldn’t exactly describe the inside of the hangar. I couldn’t see the walls, the roof, not even the floor which seemed to cease existing after a few more steps inside. A nice scary illusion, I thought to myself to try and convince me that this sentiment was nothing more but a conception of my confused brain, screaming at me that he feared the unknown.

That’s it. Nothing else happened. So why don’t I feel relieved? My sister pulled on my sleeve to keep me going, probably feeling the same uneasiness as me.

I cleared my throat in order to get rid of the remnants stuck in my mind before continuing our walk. The auxiliary station was now in sight, I could see the entrance from here. Just a few more meters and we’ll be here. Then I can get home and forget myself in video games again. What should I play tonight? Maybe some “MOBA” or “RTS”, depends if my friends are online or not. I looked in my pocket to get my phone, checking how much time we had left before the train departed from the city.

“Ah scrap... I left my phone at home…”

What a blunder from me. How will I contact mom or anyone else now? I turned toward my little sister to ask for some help.

“What time is it, sis?”

But she wasn’t at my side.

“Sis?”

She wasn’t wandering around either. How could I lost her? She was still grabbing my sleeve not too long ago. She probably saw a cat and went to pat it without telling me. That’s what I would like to think, but the surroundings were plain enough that not even a rat could go unnoticed here. Then where did she go?

I instinctively began to follow our tracks, trying to see where and how we got separated. She couldn’t be that far away, it wasn’t even one minute since I lost sight of her. But the more I walked, the more I was worried about her. I walked a bit faster, but it didn’t ease my pain at all, it only accentuated this dreadful feeling that there was more road between the present me and the last time I checked on my sister.

Where is she? Where could she be? Please tell me she ran somewhere and I’ll eventually find her looking at a snail or something. Maybe she saw something amazing and stood in place to admire it a bit longer. Right? I looked left and right, but still didn’t spot her silhouette anywhere. It was driving me insane. How could I lost her so easily?! I resisted the urge to slap me for this mistake, mostly because I had more pressing matters than whipping myself at the moment.

I was back at the abandoned hangars, hoping she would be sitting somewhere here waiting for me to fetch her. Did god forsake me? I cannot even find my shadow in this darkened world.

Where are you, sis? Where did you go?

Don’t leave your brother like this. It’s scary!

Then, I heard an unfamiliar noise. The more I walked, the louder it became. And to make it worst: it came from the hangar itself, the very one which made me gulp in fear, now a source of terrifying images wiggling in my head.

At first, I thought the noise was mechanical, but quickly dismissed the idea because it sounded too soft to be made from steel or anything else fabricated from minerals. It sounded both limp and crusty, making me believe that I was walking on dried leaves and branches on the ground, yet it was still far too gruesome to be compared.

And I understood why, when I stood in front of the hangar’s entrance.

My sister was inside, standing ten meters or so away from me. But she wasn’t standing up, it was something else that lifted her up from the ground.

Her body shivered, but the darkness tightened its grip on the chewed limbs.

I could see her back drenched in red, her legs shaking in a desperate struggle.

It’s…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

IT’S EATING HER!!!

“OH MY GOD!!!”

I screamed so loudly it made my psyche goes blank. Then I woke up again.

…

I was back in my room, daydreaming in front of randomly scattered papers, books from school and pens. The dim light from my desk lamp provided what little brightness I needed to help me focus on my studies.

I was back home, safe and sound from this horror. I scanned my surrounding to check for any eldritch abomination in the vicinity, but only saw my window, bed and the consoles lying around.

Oh my… Oh my god. What a nightmare. Am I really not narcoleptic? It really seemed like I feel asleep without me noticing and dreaming about some weird stuff. I took long breathe to soothe my panicked heart, wiping my forehead from the sweat I felt sliding on my still-shaking skin.

Oh my god… Oh my god… What a horrible nightmare it was.

In the end, I managed to calm down. It was only a dream, it’s not real. It can’t hurt me if it’s not real, so there is no reason to fear it. Only a nightmare I’ll hopefully quickly forget in a few restful days.

Once I was done being stuck in that loop, I tried to remember what I was doing before falling asleep, but then I heard my mother calling me from the threshold of my room.

That’s why like dreams, even those horrendous ones. You can easily choose which one to remember and which one to forget on a whim.

Dreams are nice because they’re dreams. Reality is the true nightmare.

 “Are you awake?”

What a strange question to greet your son with. Feeling too tired to think too much about it, I gave her a short answer with a nod.

“Can you take your sister to the train station tonight?”

… I have a feeling of déjà-vu. What is happening here? Mom, is that… You?

“And this time, don’t forget to hold your sister’s hand.”