
Madoka and Katsuro come out of hiding.
“There they are! Fire!” Madoka orders.
Katsuro slides one under us, so that it could slip past our defenses. Anticipating this, I turn to the right and Masaru follows my lead.
If Madoka and Katsuro are here… where’s Takashi?
The thought of a surprise attack keeps me on guard.
BOOM!
The soda can explodes staggering us and it takes us a while to retain our balance. We were interrupted however, by another soda can sliding in our direction. To ensure that we couldn’t simply turn left, another soda can was thrown from that side.
This seems staged. We must be falling to their trap… Should I order the retreat?
“Masaru, let’s retreat, we’re falling to their whims,” I make the call.
“Roger!”
As we start to commence the order to re-organize, Takashi comes out from hiding, fully strapped with soda cans from head-to-toe and rushes in to embrace us.
“TAKE COVER!” Masaru yells as he pushes me away.
He, on the other hand, gets engulfed by the sacrificial soldier. Then, all thrown soda cans explode all at once.
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
I was on the ground from the push earlier. The air reeks of the mixture of carbonated drinks, but I still had to get up. Once I open my eyes, I see two people bruised and beaten up.
“M-Masaru?”
I rush to get him and Madoka and Katsuro use this opportunity to throw cans at me. Swiftly evading each and every one, I arrive at the scene. Takashi was on top, having taken the most damage. He’s an enemy though, so I kick and topple him over, so I can reach out to my comrade.
I wrap him in my arms. He looks utterly defeated.
“Speak to me man!”
He seemed to be unconscious, so I tried to wake him up.
“Hey! You said you loved both Asuka and Misaki, right?! We’re supposed to advocate for peace! You can’t just die like this!”
His eyes open every so slightly and he looks at me.
“Stop…” he utters.
“Stop?”
“Stop assuming things, man. I just got wrapped up here… that’s… all…”
“Masaru?”
The life in his eyes fades away and he returns to his slumber. Perhaps, permanent.
“MASARU?!”
I clench my fist at the loss of a dear friend.
“DAMN IT!”
I stand up.
“Had enough, Kibe?” Madoka says with a smirk.
“You’ve gone too far, Madoka!”
“Kibe. This is the inevitable result of war. I simply had to pound it into that feeble brain of yours, that Misaki is the best! You chose this path, Kibe! You wanted to choose a pink-haired Asuka! Pink-haired characters suck!”
“Wh-What did you say…”
“Pink-haired characters suck! And I’ll repeat it as many times as I want to! Who wants cotton candy as hair? No one!”
“I… do…” Masaru intervenes.
“So this is the result of Waifu War 1…”
“AHAHAHA! That’s right. Unless you want to be next, you’re going to have to surrender.”
“That’s it.”
“What?”
A surge of adrenaline pumps through my body and it felt like I could do anything right now. I breathe in. And out.
Wait for it…
The feeling isn’t right yet.
Wait for it…
Not yet.
Then an image forms upon my mind. It was a cherry blossom tree and its flowers were falling to the ground. One, in particular was what my mind focused on. Watching it carefully, until finally it touches the water just below it.
Now!
I grab the table and throw it towards them.
“Woah!” they both yelp as they go in opposite directions.
To make matters simpler, I went on to charge at Katsuro first and punched him right at the gut while his guard was down.
“BFUHH-” he blurts.
The gut seemed to have been amplified and exaggerated to a degree because as Newton’s third law would state: for every action (force) in nature there is an equal and opposite reaction. I felt my punch was stronger than what I was normally capable of.
Afterwards, as my punch went through, suddenly, the event happened again. Yeah, that’s right. The event happened again, with me punching him in the same exaggerated manner, same force, and him wearing the same dead expression.
Huh? Déjà vu?
I wondered if I was imagining things, but the scene plays out the same again, not once, but three more times, before it finishes.
He falls flat on the floor. I mean, I kind of hit him five times already… not by volition.
Earlier, I used Perfect Timing. With that I was able to catch Katsuro when he was vulnerable. But earlier… why did I experience the same thing five times?
Recalling my watching experience with chaotic Slice-of-Life elements, an important aspect enters my mind.
Ah! Comedic effect! When I punched him, it was probably a crucial moment to bring out the laughter. So the camera somewhere, must have panned and redid the action numerous times, taken in different angle shots.
Lost in thought, I remember that I was in war and face Madoka.
I’ll come up with a name for it later.
Seeing the same image in my mind again, I rely upon Perfect Timing. However, my mind did not focus on anything this time.
Weird.
So I rely on my body to deliver justice and approach him steadfast. I was swift and quick, that it was unbelievable for someone who lives a sedentary lifestyle. Though, he pulls a soda can from his back and grabs the ring, getting ready to set it off like a grenade, so I stop in my tracks and jump back.
“Good decision,” he tells me, “If I pull it, this eliminates the both of us.”
“No need to state the obvious.”
“Quite the feat there, Kibe. But I have to say you still have much to go if you truly wish to become one of us.”
“Is this a training arc or something?”
“What? No. Anyways, it all comes down to the two of us, eh?”
“Seems so… Why can’t you just accept that we have different preferences?”
“Because my queen deserves much more than to be sidelined.”
“Okay, if we can’t agree on a common girl for Aokana. How about we choose a different series?”
“Why do you avoid a fight? Are you afraid to face me? Or is your resolve for Asuka as pathetic as I thought.”
“We’re kind of destroying the school.”
I know it’ll repair, but it feels off if I see a mess like this for the rest of the day.
I clear my throat.
“If we can agree on a character we both like, will you withdraw your can?”
“Hm… let’s see.”
He lets go of his grip on the soda can.
“Your call first. We say our favorite girl in a series straight to the point.”
“Oregairu. Yuigahama Yui.”
“Yukinoshita Yukino.”
Yikes.
“Okay, my turn,” he announces, “The Quintessential Quintuplets. Nakano Itsuki.”
“Nakano Nino.”
Another bust.
My turn once more.
“Nisekoi. Kirisaki Chitoge.”
“Kosaki Onodera. Next, NouCome. Yuuouji Ouka.”
“Chocolat. Let’s go with Haganai. I choose Kashiwazaki Sena.”
“Mikazuki Yozora.”
Dude, are our tastes really that different?
His turn.
“Monogatari. I choose Senjougahara Hitagi.”
“Oshino Shinobu.”
Hm, I’m starting to see a pattern here. I choose blondes most of the time while he goes for the black-haired girls, most of the time. That’s merely an observation, though. I’ll instigate further.
Our conversation throws back and forth, yet not once have our tastes coincided. I even steered out of Rom-Coms and filtered out so that blondes were not present so that our cauldron was much easier to pick with. Unfortunately, even after all that, we are simply men with different tastes at the end of the day.
“Kibe. It seems that no matter what, we can’t have something to agree on,” Madoka tells me.
“I think that mostly applies to our taste in girls…”
“Since it has come to this point… Kibe. There’s only one question left, that I’ll ask you.”
I really wanted to tell him that this was futile, but since we’ve reached this point, there was no going back.
“Do tell.”
“What’s your type of woman?”
“I rather keep that confidential.”
“Hmph, fine. Then, I’ll reveal mine… I prefer women with big breasts. Are you of the same opinion?”
“No, but-”
“Shush. That was all I wanted to hear.”
He’s dragging this on for too long… Should I just knock him out to make things simpler?
He drops the soda can.
“Y-You’re finally giving up?” I ask him.
“Hmph. Fuck no.”
From behind, out of thin air, he pulls out a- wha-
“IS THAT A MACHINE GUN?!”
“Heck yeah.”
Beginning operation, the machine gun shoots quickly, shredding the nearby trees, tables, and vending machines. The people around me panic and run for their lives.
I hid behind a table for cover.
“He just pulled some random bullshit out of thin air! That’s-”
Stopping mid-sentence, I continue it through my thoughts.
That’s befitting of a chaotic Slice-of-Life protagonist, causing mayhem wherever he goes. That’ll be a real handy skill to learn. But for now-
“I need to stop him. He’s too into waifus, he can’t consider anyone else’s tastes as something viable. As a fellow member of this cast, I’m going to have to set him straight.”
From the corner of my eye, I see Masaru crawling weakly towards me.
“Kibe…”
“C-Comrade!” I shout in glee.
“Please… I need help…”
“No, more importantly, I need your help.”
“Wha…”
I pick him up with ease and hide behind him.
“Kibe… what are you doi-”
He suddenly gets hit by a ton of bullets and I see those bullets fall to the ground. As a result, his mouth gurgles and returns unconscious.
“Thanks for being a meat shield, Masaru. That’s the most use I’m going to get out of you!”
Running with him in tow, he gets hit with bullets a couple more times and I enter back into the school. There I let go of him flat on the ground.
I need to find a melee weapon in the school. Soda cans aren’t going to cut it anymore. They’re like grenades.
“I need something like a gun or a knife.”
Mind you, I’m not going to actually kill him. I doubt anyone could die in this state anyway. I merely need more utility to fight someone with a literal machine gun.
Behind me, sounds of destruction grow closer.
He must be following after me.
I look to my right and the classrooms I encounter are all empty.
They must have evacuated.
Entering the classroom, I duck under a desk and think about what I could use.
What can be weapons?
“I can use chalk erasers as a smoke bomb. It would make sense for it to work that way… I think… hopefully.”
Would a ruler work? Scissors?
Outside, I hear maniacal laughing. He must be growing closer.
“AHAHAHAHA! WHERE ARE YOU KIBE?! I WANNA SHOW OFF MY TOY!”
Bang. Bang. Bang.
Note: He’s a Slice-of-Life Protagonist, by the way. |
I think deeply.
This is the time to be creative… what can be used?
The sound of bullets grow near.
“AH FUCK IT!”
I grab whatever I can. Staplers, scissors, rulers, glue, chalk, chalk erasers, and all that. Since my bag was left back outside, I merely borrow a bag in the meantime, and I store everything there.
“That’s it!”
“Found you!” Madoka yells as he door breaks down from bullets and countless bullets shoot toward me.
Thankfully there were desks which covered me.
I throw a chalk eraser and true to my guess, the chalk particles spread rampant in his face, so he haphazardly shoots everywhere. To avoid his shots, I crawl on the ground and make my escape from there.
In the hallway, I keep looking behind over and over, so as to make sure not to get hit by a single bullet.
“I’ll end this… now!”
END OF EPISODE 45
Awesome Action Scene!
Good battle ! Can't wait for the Continuation!