~Chapter 65~ Part 1
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"You have two of them now?" came the incredulous question from Judy over the phone.

"Yeah," I responded as I shifted on the bed. I called her right after I got out of the shower, and at the moment I was already back in my room with the customary wet towel on my head.

"And that happened after you slept for the first time in two months," she continued, and I almost nodded by reflex before I caught myself.

"Or at the very least I was unconscious," I said, eliciting an ambivalent grunt from the other side.

"We only have two data points so far, so let's not jump to conclusions. As for the other issue, we can determine whether you now require to sleep like the rest of us tonight." I made an 'Ah-hum' sound in agreement, and she continued with, "On a different note, what was that 'simulacrum' you mentioned?"

"I don't know, but it feels important. The word sounds familiar too; something to do with philosophy I think."

"I'll look into it," she told me, following which I could hear another sound in the background. A second or five later Judy gave a muffled answer, then said, "Mom is calling me, I have to go. Rest up, and we'll talk in the afternoon."

"I'll try. Love you."

"You better," she responded lightly, followed by an odd smacking sound.

"What was that?"

"A long-distance kiss," she told me without batting an eye, and I couldn't help but let out a tiny chuckle.

"Thanks. I'll return it in person later."

Normally this would have been the point where those annoying, lovey-dovey couples would have spent ten minutes going back and forth with 'You hang up first' and 'No, you do', but since we were in a very mature and serious relationship, we naturally only spent about three minutes doing that. Once such courtesies were done with, I put my phone down onto the night table, stretched out on the bed, and closed my eyes.

For the next minute or so, I took measured breaths and did my best to empty my head of all stray thoughts. It didn't really work, as the noises of my sister endeavoring to rein in the hyperactive little girl trying her best (and by the sounds of it, failing) to help in the kitchen were just too distracting. In the end, I sat back up with a grunt and proceeded with my next order of business. Namely, trying to figure out what to do with my new appendage.

First thing first, I attempted to measure it, and while I couldn't do a precise job due to it being intangible, I could quickly establish that it was about as long as my old one. In the process of figuring that out, I'd come to another unexpected realization: my original ethereal limb was somewhat longer than it used to be. Once again, direct measurements were impossible, but by gut, I'd have said my tentacular extra extremities had a range of about two and a half meters now. They could also interact with each other, which resulted in a strange tactile sensation that gave me goose bumps in all kinds of weird places.

I spent about ten minutes playing around, which resulted in two more discoveries: I could actually tie my two Phantom Limbs into a literal knot, and more practically, I could disentangle them by consciously willing them to pass through each other. I imagined that might come in handy one day (no pun intended), but for the time being, I was just relieved that I didn't have to explain to Judy how I accidentally tied up myself and disabled half of my abilities in the process. That would have been a pretty awkward discussion.

But putting theoretical embarrassments aside, I decided to stop messing around and start being productive. Step one was, naturally, a full Far Sight roll call. Snowy and Ichiko didn't need checking, as I could still hear them downstairs. That said, since she came up in context, it would be amiss of me not to mention that the currently humanoid little miko had a proper mark, and she did so even when she was in her fluffier form, yet I could distinctly remember that I could not mark her when she was a sword. Though again, before Friday, I only ever touched Onikiri through the shroud wrapped around it, so maybe that's why it didn't count?

At the end of the day, I filed this conundrum under the ever-growing pile of 'things to investigate later' and moved on with my Far Sight, and since she came up, I decided to check on the Android, or rather, her… boss? Creator? Father?

Whatever, he was, my target was the mark on Labcoat Guy either way.

My point of view tunneled through space as usual, and a blink of an eye later I was staring down at Labcoat Guy… though he actually wasn't wearing one at the moment. One of these days, I will have to come up with a new nickname for him. Though again, maybe ordering him to wear a lab coat would be easier. I decided to consider that later, and for the time being, I focused on my target. He was, along with the android, sitting inside a decently spacious underground chamber. It was one of the few side-rooms that the Faun didn't renovate yet, so while it was clean, it still had the utilitarian aesthetics of the bomb shelter, with steel-framed beds and distinctly uncomfortable-looking grey metal chairs arranged around a bare wooden table.

My two involuntary recruits were sitting on two separate beds. Galatea, in particular, seemed to be no worse for wear, even though she was still tied up with an arm-binder. It looked fairly uncomfortable, but it was necessary, so that she wouldn't get any funny ideas about blasting people with her literal hand-cannons. Labcoat Guy, on the other hand, was even more haggard than the last time I saw him. The bags under his eyes were an unhealthy shade of dark blue, and he even had the beginnings of a five-o-clock shadow on his face. That was odd, considering that I had yet to see even a hint of a stubble on my chin even after two months, but kind of irrelevant at the moment.

The two of them were both silent like mice in the snake-den, no doubt thanks to a certain serpent-analog sharing the room with them.

As per my instructions, the Fauns had been keeping them under constant surveillance. In practice, it meant that one of them was literally standing beside the closed door and constantly staring at them. Now, I personally knew that Vurrok's expression was bored to the point of comedy, but for people less versed in reading Faun body language, a huge ram-headed guy gazing at them must've been quite intimidating.

Since there was absolutely nothing happening even after a minute, I decided to move on to our other captive, who was… not actually in custody? In fact, Mountain Girl was sitting in the lounge area within the great hall, in the company of Brang and Hrul, and they were discussing the finer points of moving on rooftops without making much noise over three bowls of instant noodles.

Well, that was unexpected. At least they technically still kept an eye on her, so I couldn't complain too much. That said, considering that she was supposed to be a fanatic monster-hunter, Rinne getting along with the Fauns was oddly adaptable of her. Oh well. So long as it wasn't just a ploy to get intel out of the guys, I was fine with it, and even if it was, I trusted Brang to keep a professional distance.

Anyhow, since the discussion was still about various tricks to reduce conspicuousness in an urban environment (which was rich, coming from miss highly visible ninja), I decided to move on. Lord Grandpa was… currently in a budget meeting with the other School officials. Riveting. I glanced around at my other marks as well, but there was literally nothing going on with the gang, Armband Guy was doing paperwork in a warehouse housing all the odds and ends from Labcoat Guy's base, and even the Knights were just lounging around and playing cards in their hidey-hole.

Eventually, I returned to my body, and once I settled down, I lightly stretched my back before getting off the bed and turning on my PC. For a start, I checked the Celestial Hub, but there was nothing particularly interesting on it either. Wow, talk about a slow day. Still, I skimmed all the new reports, flagged a few for moderation, dealt with some arguments on the forums; everything to uphold the basic cover of being Admin. It all only took about half an hour, after which I minimized the browser window and opened up my old notes inside the heavily encrypted hidden folder inside the lightly encrypted folder containing a bunch of random porn movies. I never even watched them; I just needed some plausible reason to justify hiding the folder in case someone tried to snoop around on my hard drive, so I just picked the ones with the funniest titles and put them in there.

But back to the notes. I scanned the numerous text files in front of me and opened three of them. One was about recording my unusual abilities, which I now had to update with an extra limb. The second one was about my observations about enchantments and magic, which also needed updating after the recent events regarding Onikiri, Ichiko, and the Chimera. Finally and last, I had the oldest of the three files, which was about experiments I wanted to perform in the future but couldn't because of a lack of resources and manpower. Now that I had Labcoat Guy to delegate things upon, and Lord Grandpa to foot the bills, I could probably put a few of them into motion. This, of course, was predicated on the idea that the world would take pity on me and would give me enough of a breathing room to do so.

It was like this that time flew by, and I was only jolted out of my work by the sound of the doorbell coming from downstairs. I wasn't expecting any visitors, but my puzzlement was soon overridden by surprise when I noted that it was almost noon already.

"I'll get it!" came the enthusiastic voice of a certain fox-girl from down the stairs. While she did that, I took the opportunity to swiftly save my work, close every file and folder, exit from the Hub, and put a generic Wikipedia page about a symphonic metal cover of Charles Dickens's A Christmas Story on the screen. Don't ask why I had that tab open; even I can't follow my own trail when I start clicking on interesting-sounding links on certain sites.

But putting my wiki-escapades aside, I quickly put on some socks, combed my hair with my fingers into something remotely presentable, and once I felt ready, I exited the room and walked down the stairs, only for all the tension to immediately escape my shoulders as I laid my eyes upon our guest.

"Hi, Leo!" my draconic girlfriend greeted me with a brilliant smile and an energetic wave, though the latter was made slightly comical by the fact that she was still in the process of taking off her coat, so its sleeve kept flailing around every which way.

"Hi, princess. I wasn't expecting you," I told her while making my way down the stairs. In all fairness, I could have expected her if I spent just half a second to check the location of my marks with Far Sight, but hindsight was always 20/20.

"Today is my solo-day," she declared as she took off her fur-trimmed winter hat, revealing a head of wavy blonde hair that looked just disheveled enough to be at its peak attractiveness. That's just how hairdos worked around this part though, so I didn't pay it more attention than it deserved, and focused on her comment instead.

"'Solo day'? Is that another of your agreements with Judy or something?"

"Yes," she said, but then instead of continuing, she handed the hat and her coat over to the eagerly waiting Ichiko.

"I'll put them away, Elly-ue!" the girl proclaimed and then unsteadily scooted over to the coat-rack by the entrance.

"She is so eager," my girlfriend noted with a smile. "She is just like the apprentice maids back home!"

"Don't give her any weird ideas," I warned her, and once she was within arm's reach, I held her hand and pulled her a little closer. "So, what do I owe the pleasure of your sudden yet very welcome arrival?"

"I came to hang out," she responded firmly, though her face was getting quite red already. "Also, because I wanted to see if you're all right. Oh, and because you said you would tell me things!"

"Like that I love you?" I asked innocently, and she lightly pinched my side in response.

"That's something I already know," she said, with a quietly whispered 'Though you could say it more often' tacked after it. "I meant secrets! Things that Judy already knows! You promised yesterday, remember?"

"Yes, yes I do," I soothed her with my good hand on her waist. "I'll do that, but first, how about we sit down?"

"Wait, before that," Elly stopped me in my tracks, and gestured for me to lean over. I had no reason to refuse, and after I hunched forward a little, she stood on her tiptoes and touched her forehead against mine. "Oh no! You are burning up!"

"No, it's just your forehead is cold because you just came in."

"Ah, you might be right," she concluded as she touched her own forehead with her fingers. "We should try this again a bit later."

"If you want to, but I hope you didn't expect me to miss this chance?"

"What chance?" she asked back with an uncomprehending look in her eyes, so instead of answering, I angled my face a little a planted a quick peck on her lips. She remained stock still for a moment, but then her eyes lit up and she exclaimed, "Ah, that! You're right, that was the whole point why I always wanted to try this!"

"Really?" I muttered with a satisfied grin as our foreheads parted for good. "Does that mean that we don't have to do it again once you warmed up?"

"Don't be silly, Leo. Of course we have to," she declared as if it was one hundred percent obvious, and we would have probably continued our couple-antics if not for Snowy peeking her head through the kitchen door.

"Oh? Hello, Eleanor."

"Hello, sister-in-law," Elly reacted with a small nod and a friendly wave. As for me, I could only massage my temples in response.

"You know, princess, sometimes I can't help but feel that your parents had a bad influence on your common sense."

"What do you mean?"

I gave my oblivious girlfriend a wry look, but at last shook my head and used my left hand to tousle her hair with a quiet, "Never mind, I'm just grumbling."

In the meantime, my sister came over to our side, and while she wasn't wearing her maid uniform today, the combination of her apron on top of her casual clothes, her white bunny slippers, and the pasta spoon in her hand looked just as odd anyway.

"Food's almost ready. Have you eaten lunch yet?"

"I only ate a big breakfast today, but there's still space for more," the princess responded with a thoughtful look on her face. "What are you making?"

"It's… uuu… It's something called 'udon', I think?" Realizing that her uncertain answer didn't really inspire confidence, Snowy hastily added, "I mean, Ichiko said she wanted to treat Leo to some traditional dishes from her home country, and asked for help, but I don't know how well it will turn out…"

"Don't worry, Neige-ue!" the little girl in question elbowed her way into our conversation with a supremely confident look in her eyes. "We are going to have chikara udon, and tempura udon, and kitsune udon… It's going to be great!"

I decided to ignore the ever-present mystery of just where the hell could she find ingredients for Japanese dishes in my kitchen, and instead I focused on the more apparent question of, "Is udon noodles the only thing you can cook?"

"No, of course not, Ue-sama! I can also make yakitori, and tempura, and… um…" she faltered for a moment, but then her eyes lit up and she exclaimed, "Miso soup! I can also make miso soup!"

I let the silence linger for a few seconds after her declaration, and only then did I clear my throat, though quite pointedly.

"Now, for the record, I'm definitely not an expert of Japanese cuisine, but… If my memory serves right, the first two are literally just fried chicken and seafood."

"Or vegetables," my girlfriend added, and when she noticed my questioning gaze directed at her, she added, "I've been to Japan with dad once during the Dragon Prodigy world tour."

"I should've figured. Thanks for the amendment, but my original point still stands. As for miso, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that literally just a kind of vegetable broth with some miso paste in it?"

"Seaweed," Elly corrected me again, so I tousled her hair some more to hush her.

"Either way, neither of those are very complex dishes. Can you really cook something more complicated than that?" I waited for the little girl in the green dress to try to rebuke me, but instead she just sheepishly averted her gaze, prompting me to let out a long, drawn-out sigh. "Just as I figured. Princess?"

"I'm on it!" Elly exclaimed while rolling up her sleeves, and a second later she ducked out of under my hand and walked into the kitchen with the heavy steps of a veteran entering a battlefield. She was soon followed by Snowy and Ichiko, though their gaits were considerably less determined.

In conclusion, I was left all alone in my living room, so I decided to make myself useful and set the table in preparation for whatever meal the three of them would manage to salvage. I also took out my phone and sneakily checked the home-pages of the local restaurants to see if they delivered take-outs on the weekend. I mean, I had perfect confidence in my draconic girlfriend's culinary capabilities, but as Judy had told me numerous times in the past, the first step on the road of staying safe was expecting the worst-case scenario, and then planning ahead accordingly.

"Oh no! Elly-ue, come quick! The water is on fire!"

On second thought, let's check the pizza places too. I was fairly sure those were open on Sundays…

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