“Come on, smile for the camera.”

“Piss off.”

Johnny sighed and paused his recording, “Come on! I’m trying to get us engaged online, you know?” He waved the phone in the air.

I glanced up from my workbook, “What part of you questioning me randomly is supposed to get people looking at our page? Do you even have an idea for this video?”

“…It’s a work in progress! And the first step is getting some material to work with, I’m a sculptor getting his clay.”

“I’m not clay, and this video idea stinks. I’m trying to focus here. You know what a much better idea would be? A music video when we have something original to perform.”

“Hurry up with it then.”

“I would if you’d stop annoying me. I was writing something down just a second ago.” Johnny slipped around behind me and I snapped the book shut, “No, you can’t see.”

“You’re going to be singing that in front of hundreds of people.”

“It’s still embarrassing.”

“I hope you don’t hide it when it’s crunch time, or we’ll have nothing to show for all this work.”

“I’d rather jump into the deep end first.”

“Whatever, it’s your choice.”

The humidity in the air was killing me. Johnny sat back down in his seat and rapped his fingers against the desk. Johnny was always the one who stuck around even when nothing much was going on. He was the member of the club I was closest with. We argued all the time, but it was friendly. We both knew that there were no hard feelings most of the time. Johnny decided to change the topic to something less controversial.

“Did you see that thing on the news last night? My parents had it on. About that guy that murdered his cousin with a fish.”

God help me. As if to answer my prayers, Kei walked in, “Was I interrupting something important?”

“Johnny was talking about TV again, what do you think?”

“Right, nothing interesting then.”

“Hey!” Johnny objected.

I pulled out a ripped sheet of paper and slid it over, “I got a beat for you. Pretty simple stuff.”

“Right, solid.”

Kei had the easiest job out of all of us in terms of learning. Drumming was the basis of everything that we did, but it was also simpler. I could specify a beat and Kei would have it down within minutes usually. I slid another piece of paper to Johnny, “Here’s something for you.”

He scrutinized it, “This looks pretty tough.”

“Too hard for you?”

“No, I like a challenge. Looks interesting too.”

“And Shinsuke?”

“Yeah, got his sheet too. And parts for Matoi and Toya.”

“We don’t even know if Toya wants to come with us,” Kei grumbled, “Indecisive prick.”

“No need to be mean Kei. It’s simple accompaniment stuff, he can join in whenever he wants, and if he doesn’t it’s no big loss.”

“If you say so.”

Toya had dropped by the club a few times since signing the paperwork to be a member, but he hadn’t yet committed to actually being in our upcoming gig. I didn’t expect him to personally. He was used to playing in a big brass band with a bunch of other professionals, not a garage band that leapt between genres depending on the audience. We weren’t playing to compete, we wanted to show off.

I don’t think I could manage that kind of environment. Having to be perfect all the time and comparing yourself against other people. I liked music because it let me get away from the daily stresses of life. The stresses of school and that other sensation that gnawed at me a lot. The one that god had seen right through the first time I met him. No, before I even met him in the first place.

Did he know before casting his magic? Or could he only learn the truth because he granted the wish? I wanted to ask him. Surely there was some limit on what he knew. He presented himself as just as human as everyone else – with his own biases and likes and dislikes. Was it possible to act like a human when you know everything? A life without a little bit of dishonesty sounded like hell to me.

I scribbled down a few more lines. I’d squared off three or four full songs since I started. Without editing or scrutiny though, I didn’t know how well they’d go over. I had been feeling inspired though, Dad’s words had an effect. I felt motivated to get something done.

“Where’s Shinsuke?” Kei murmured as he fiddled with the drum set.

“Out. I don’t know where,” Johnny replied.

“He’s been acting weird recently.”

“He never talks enough for me to tell. Why do you think he’s acting weird?”

“I don’t know, he just seems evasive recently. Matoi is having a hard time getting him to show up.”

“I hope whatever it is gets sorted soon, I don’t want to scramble to find a new bass player on the day of the show.”

It was a challenge to keep my mouth shut. I didn’t want them to speak badly of Shinsuke, he had a good reason to feel down, “I’m heading out.” I wanted to get away from the pair for a little while and sitting in the clubroom when practice wasn’t on was not the most appealing idea.

“Alright, catch you later,” Johnny waved. I slipped out of the door and down the stairs to the first floor. The evening sun poured orange light into the building. I wasn’t in the same class as Shinsuke, so I didn’t know what Kei was talking about. When I headed out to the front gate, I spotted a familiar figure in a black hoodie hunched over against the wall, it was the man himself.

“Shinsuke? What are you doing out here?” I asked, putting a hand on his back. He was out of breath. He stood up, winced, and doubled over again.

“Ugh, shit.”

“Are you alright?”

“No…” he wheezed.

“You want a drink, or somewhere to sit down?”

He allowed me to pull him to one of the nearby benches. It was clear from his gait that something was wrong with him. I helped him down and sat next to him, “Why are you lurking around the gate?” I repeated.

“I-I wasn’t in class today.”

“Kei said you were acting weird… did something happen at home again?” Shinsuke averted his gaze, he couldn’t meet me eye to eye, “Shinsuke, I’m worried about you.” Getting him to talk was like getting blood from a rock. Shinsuke sat back up and hunched over again a few times before letting out an ugly sob. I sat quietly and allowed him to let it out, somewhat conscious that someone less friendly might see, “Come on Shinsuke, you’ll feel better if you tell someone. I know you will.”

“It’s just so fucking stupid!” He wiped his eyes with a sleeve, “Why the fuck does this have to happen to me?” Every move he made was followed by a reaction to something unseen.

“…Did you get hit again? I can tell Shinsuke; you can barely walk!”

He shrugged, “Yeah, so what?”

“So what? He’s going to fucking kill you at this rate.”

“I ran out and… I came here. This is the only place to go right? It’s not like I have anywhere else to run.” I swallowed my own words and tried to think of what to say to him. What could I say? Was I in any position to give him advice? “I just wanted to get out of there, I didn’t think about it.”

“…Do you want to come to my place?”

“There’s no way your parents would-“

“I don’t want to hear that. They’d take in anybody if I asked them to.”

“Maybe. They won’t call the police.”

“Because?”

“Because it makes them look bad. They’ll start snooping around, asking questions. I’ve done this before – crashed at an old friend’s place for a night. When I got back the crocodile tears were turned on…”

I pulled out my phone and sent a quick message to my dad. He replied in seconds okaying the idea. We had a spare room he could use for the night, “Dad says it’s okay if you want to stay the night.”

“I don’t deserve this.”

“Who says you have to deserve shit Shinsuke? Your dad is beating the hell out of you. You’re my friend, so I’m going to do this for you at least.” Shinsuke nodded and tried to stand under his own strength but could only get over the curve when I pushed him up from behind.

“Thanks.”

“Come on, before Johnny comes down and sees you.”