Shinsuke set off early. I wasn’t quite sure what he was going to do, I suspected that he wanted to go back home and put on a fresh uniform. I was worried about what would happen when his parents saw him again. I had to trust his word that he’d done this before and that there’d be no real consequences. I could see it in my minds eye. The tears they’d shed, the promises of doing better next time. It’d all be for nothing and it’d be business as usual soon enough.

To me it seemed like it’d only make things worse, but I didn’t know anything about his parents or the kind of abuse they put him through. Maybe for just a brief moment there’d be a moment of relief before the malice started up again as it always was. I was out of my depth on the topic, not that I wished to know what it felt like to live in a house like that.

Reina walked beside me on the trip to school. Reina set off before me on most days so she could do her council duties in the morning. On this day she didn’t have anything lined up, “How are you feeling about things Miyako? It’s a big anniversary after all.”

“Huh?” I responded absentmindedly.

“It’s been three months since you joined us.”

“That long? Time flies. Felt like yesterday to me.”

“And how do you feel?”

“And? I feel fine. Nothing much changed. I still do all the things I used to, I just come back to a different house.”

“I know you’re being polite Miyako, but for once I’d like you to be honest with me. I can tell that you’re worried about something.”

“It’s nothing. It’s my problem. It’s got nothing to do with being your sister or whatever.”

Reina looked upset, “Your problems are my problems, out with it.”

I sighed, “I’m just a little scared. Of someone finding out or waking up tomorrow morning back in my old house. I still can’t accept that this happened to me. It’s crazy, like something in a manga.”

“I understand. It is not every day that you transform into a copy of the most beautiful woman in school.” I shot her a glance out of the corner of my eye, but her face was as unreadable as ever. These momentary bursts of vanity-based humour always caught me off guard. It was really out of character.

“Come on Reina. I’m being serious.”

“Did you want to become a woman?” I stopped. Reina kept walking before realizing that I’d frozen in place. She turned on her heel and stared me down, “I thought it was odd. The only way for that to happen was if you wanted it to. You never confided such a thing with me. Of course, I specifically asked for a sister in the first place.”

“Why would I confide that with you? I didn’t even… ugh,” I slumped over; I didn’t want to talk about this. This was something I didn’t even discuss with my own family – what was left of it anyway. This was my classmate outing me on a walk to school and acting like it was no big deal, “Can we drop this? Seriously.”

Reina acquiesced, “Very well. I was merely curious.”

“It’s not much a matter of curiosity is it?” 

I was breaking out into an embarrassed sweat at where the discussion had gone. This was my deepest, darkest secret and Reina had sussed it without my knowing. I stormed ahead of her and tried to put some distance between us, “Miyako? Are you upset?”

“No.”

“You are upset.”

“No, I’m not.”

Reina was struggling to keep up with me, she tripped over herself as we hopped over a curb, “You are. You definitely are.”

“So what if I am?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“I never mentioned it because it’s a sore spot. I don’t like talking about it, and it’s in the past now. I’m Miyako, amazing, I got everything I ever wanted and all it took was for my grandmother to die.”

As we approached an increasingly thick crowd of people, I decided to chill my jets for a moment. I didn’t want everyone to see us arguing. I turned back to Reina and decided to set things straight, “Listen. You and me might know everything about each other as we are now, but you didn’t know me back then, not at all. And God didn’t put that into your head.”

“He did not.”

“You’ve done a lot for me. But even I need some secrets of my own. So I’m sorry if I’m not the Miyako you wanted.”

“That is not it. I never expected you to be anything. I had no expectations of how you’d behave. It’s not my choice to make.”

Reina’s voice carried a weight of emotion I hadn’t heard since we first travelled to the shrine together, on that night where I was turned into Miyako by God’s machinations. Maybe I was overreacting. Reina was just doing that thing she did. She just had a weird way of showing that she cared. 

“I’m sorry. It is just that I get the impression that you do not truly accept the circumstances. I thought you’d be happy, but you seem to be trying to keep what you want at an arm’s length.”

“Frilly dresses and buying period pads.”

She frowned, “I wish you wouldn’t do that. This isn’t about the aesthetics of being a woman. I don’t know if you feel like you don’t deserve this chance, but your own happiness shouldn’t be conditional on other people’s matching your own. It’s okay to be selfish sometimes.”

“Try telling that to Shinsuke, and then get back to me on how I should feel about it.”

If everything could be wrapped up so easily, if the rational part of my brain could win out, I wouldn’t have blown up on her in the first place. Trapped between anger and sorrow – I did the next best thing and continued walking. I could swallow an apology later, but at the time I was just too upset.

She called out my name again, but I just kept walking.

DWS

Very... not happy with this chapter? Not just because it's too short, I'd like to hear what you think about it so I can get a better handle on things. I appreciate every comment.