I told the teachers.

It was a hard discussion to have. And I was as honest as I could be about what I knew. Shinsuke had told me in person, and I’d seen the proof in the form of his injuries. The teacher didn’t really know what to do with the information himself but thanked me for coming forward with it. Nothing happened for nearly a week, but then Shinsuke disappeared from school for a day.

He was back the next, seemingly no worse for wear. I had feared that my whistleblowing would result in blowback for him. What if his parents got angry about him letting loose the secret they’d tried so hard to hide?

It was the calm before the storm, and I knew that in the end I’d be the one on the losing side of this. Shinsuke was waiting for me outside of the club room. I followed him down to the back yard without a word, to where only a few members of the baseball club were practicing in the distance. Shinsuke was struggling to let his words out.

“Did anything happen?” I asked.

He nodded, “They came by the house. Asked to talk to me. So I decided to be honest for once in my life.”

“And?”

He shook his head.

“What? So they did nothing?”

“Yes.”

My stomach dropped to the floor. I stared in silence as Shinsuke explained how for all of my internal conflict over the matter, nothing had been done, even when the evidence was staring them right in the face. Even when Shinsuke begged them for help. The word of his parents was more valuable than the person they were abusing every day.

Shinsuke’s face twisted in anger. He grabbed my jacket and pulled me closer, “I told you that I didn’t need your help! I don’t know what those fucking psychopaths are going to do now! I had to stay out of the house and crash with one of my neighbours!”

I was expecting such a negative reaction, but even when it came it twisted the knife further. My only response was the kind of response that any argument elicits, defence. I whispered to him in harsh tones, “It can’t be much fucking worse than what they were doing to you already asshole! You think that I’m just going to sit back and let them beat the hell out of you? Why was it not worth trying to even fix things?”

His anger fizzled like a sparkler in water. He knew that I’d done it to try and help. Shinsuke let go of my jacket and took a deep breath, “They didn’t do anything Miyako. They just referred them to a consultation centre.”

“…A what?”

“A consultation centre. It’s some shitty little building somewhere in town where they give them ‘advice’ on how to be better parents, like that’s going to fucking work.”

“Just like that? It’s done?”

“I’m too old now. They aren’t taking me seriously. They probably think I should be able to look after myself.” He shook his head, “I don’t have the money to even move out – those part-time pay checks aren’t cutting it. As soon as I’m done in school, I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to do. No chance I can go to university, my grades are garbage, no thanks to them.”

“…”

Shinsuke was shaken by my browbeaten expression. He seemed in that moment to reconsider his approach to me, “Sorry Miyako. I shouldn’t be getting mad at you. Thanks for trying. But I think it’s just a lost cause.”

He turned and walked away. Leaving me shaken and frustrated. Shinsuke was gone and clearly angry at me for outing his parents. But I knew that this story wasn’t over yet. There was a wave of consequence coming for us, and I didn’t know if it’d be positive or negative.

I slipped my hands into my jacket pockets and tried to pull myself together. They brushed against a piece of card that I’d forgotten about. I pulled it out and flipped the card around between my fingers. The number a siren’s call.

If the authorities weren’t going to do something about it, then I had to.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, “Miyako.”

“…Reina.” She emerged from behind me and sat me down on the stairs next to us. I watched the baseball club practice their swings and tried to calm myself after such an intense and personal argument.

“I was worried that you two would start fighting.”

“I was worried about that as well, I guess you heard the whole thing.”

“The house has thin, thin walls sister. I only hope that you do not do anything silly. This is a delicate situation.”

I showed her the card. She took it from me and read it, “An agency.”

“Johnny got pulled into a meeting with someone from there. Said they wanted to sign me on as a talent. Shinsuke needs money, so I thought – just for a second – why not help him out?”

“It’s not your responsibility Miyako.”

“It might not be my responsibility, but I still want to do it,” I countered, “I wouldn’t be sat here if it weren’t for you. I was never your responsibility.”

“You are correct. But did I lose something from doing something to help you? Aside from a moment of my time, a piece of my faith.”

“No. But what do I stand to lose from doing this for him? Funnelling him some cash so he can get out of that house.”

Reina grabbed my shoulders and look me dead in the eyes, “Your future, Miyako. That is what you are gambling with. Do you think that there is a future in becoming an attraction for morning television shows? Singing at bars and clubs? You’re dedicating yourself to something not for your own sake, but for his.”

“And that’s fine. If it helps him, I’ll do it. You’d do the same for me. No, you already did.”

“Miyako…”

“I want to believe that there’s a path at the end of this for the both of us. For me and Shinsuke. Where he doesn’t have to live in that abusive house, where I have something for myself. Where I have the confidence to be honest with you about how I feel, and how I felt back then when I was Hideki.”

“I understand.”

“Just like you had the power, I have the power. Just like me, he doesn’t know that he wants help from people who care about him. So, I’ll give him some of that power. I’ll let him get out on his own terms. With his own money, his own house, his own future. And it starts with that card.”

Reina slipped it back to me, “Did you not want to tell me? About… Hideki.”

“I didn’t want to tell anyone. I tricked myself into thinking that it’d go away eventually. But that’s a long road to being miserable, isn’t it.”

“I’m sorry. I should have respected your privacy.”

“It’s not about privacy. I was angry because I wanted you to keep lying to me. To pretend that you didn’t know. I know that you do but being confronted with it reminds me of how scared I was. I never told anyone in my family. Not even Grandma. She was meant to be the person I could share anything with.”

“Miyako. If you ever want to talk about anything, I will not judge you. Even I have things I cannot say to mother and father. Sometimes they keep me awake at night when I so desperately want to be asleep.”

“Maybe this is the problem with being two people in one.”

“You’re not. People change. Hideki became Miyako. Hideki got what he wanted.”

“I keep asking myself if I deserve any of this. Being your sister, living in your house. Not even their reassurances can keep me from worrying about it. What about the people who are worse off than me, what about Shinsuke? Don’t they deserve something too? But then I remember what you said. Life is unfair, not everyone gets the help they need. We can only do what we can do.”

“God can do a lot.”

I chuckled, “He can. But I can’t rely on him when other people are blocking his work, can I? This is a problem that I can help Shinsuke with. So let me pay back the mercy that you both gave me, let me forward it to someone else in need.”

I looked down at the card again. Kashiwagi-Vladivostok, an agency for the oddballs and foreigners in a sea of Japanese focused alternatives.

“Let me do this.”

Reina smiled, “You’ve grown a lot in the past few months.”

“I was taller than you.”

“Not like that. Would Hideki ever have done something like this?”

Maybe not. But I wasn’t the same person I was that time when we first met, figuratively or literally. Learning Shinsuke’s plight had only reenforced things. I couldn’t assume that everyone had it easier than me anymore, because they didn’t. Shinsuke was my friend and he was in danger. It was time for me to do something for myself and him. I needed to be brave.

I pulled out my phone and dialled the number.