Mango!

 

She was going to have mango pie!

 

What was a mango pie? She didn't know! But it had mango, so it was good!

 

"You need to finish your veggies." But first she had a fearsome enemy!

 

The greens!

 

Why were they green? She didn't know, but they were green! And even though she had sprinkled the yellow thingy, they didn't turn yellow! The green was strong!

 

"That is too much butter Alexa, it will taste weird…" [Fan Girl] kept speaking on the back, but Alexa wanted to know if she could saturate the greens in yellow to make a new color!

 

It didn't seem to be working so far, such a fearsome adversary! Alexa would need to resort to her triumph card! One she saved for the worst types of foes ever known to Alexakind! One that had never failed (Except against the feared enemy of Alexakind, a liquid type food. But for those, she had another triumph card). "Bring out…The Spork!" Alexa declared while she ran out of the dining table and did a very complex rite of preparation movements.

 

Step one, pull out a small stool and place it in front of the counter in the kitchen.

 

Step two, climb the stool and open the drawer that she was able to reach now.

 

Step three, climb into the drawer and step atop the counter.

 

"Alexa, don't step atop the counter. That's bad manners…" [Fan Girl] said from afar, she didn't even atempt to move to stop her. That [Fan Girl] needed to recharge her batteries, she hadn't even tried to stop Alexa for a few hours and she was already tired?

 

She was weak! Her sauce was weak!

 

But she was being distracted!

 

Step four!

 

Open the door and pull out the fabled Spork from the counter that the naggy one had stored it, surrounded by other mighty Sporks. Some had evidence of Alexa's teeth as she had perhaps bitten with too much strength, while others were bent in weird angles. Again, because Alexa had gotten too excited and bitted a little too hard…

 

"Hmm…I need to eat the damaged ones…" Alexa said to herself as she picked one of the good ones.

 

One that wouldn't betray her like the Evil Spork that had betrayed her as its design included holes and so, it was meaningless to use to eat soup. At least she had her sippy bowl to help her and save the day…

 

"Alexa has acquired the Holy Spork!" Alexa said as she raised the Spork to the high heavens, she could almost hear the sound of 'tun tu ruuuuun'.... but in reality she heard nothing…. and that would make her sad…

 

If not for the fact that she jumped, she did a triple spin (She did in fact did not a triple spin) on the air landing perfectly with her Spork tightly held on her right hand. After doing such an awesome coolz trick (She merely let herself fall from the kitchen counter), Alexa ran back to the dining table where her current fearsome enemy awaited her…

 

"A group of soggy veggies…." Such a fearsome enemy.

 

"I told you to not use so much butter, do you want me to prepare a new set?" [Fan Girl] spoke the words of the devil!

 

She would not be tempted!

 

She had eaten worse! …or well, P4 had done so. Alexa merely had the memory of slushing the nutrient paste, and that did not look tasty at all, she didn't know that for sure since P4 didn't had taste buds. P4 hadn't deemed those valuable, and Alexa was thankful for the base blueprint that P4 had used to make her since it included taste buds.

 

The horror of not knowing the wonderful taste of mango…such a horrible fate.

 

"But Alexa would not be defeated, for she had The Spork!" Alexa proudly declared as she raised her Spork to the high heavens and let it fall with vicious aim (She merely poked one of the soggy vegetables) to impale her target!

 

The veggie never had a chance! (Since you know…it was a soggy vegetable soaked in melted butter)

 

Her Spork had shown its might! Such power! Such bravery! Such might!

 

"Alexa would eat the veggie!" Alexa said as she brought the soggy vegetable to her mouth and bited!

 

The Spork once more proved its might as it managed to restrain all the juicy thingy on the veggie! (most of it, the rest spilled on Alexa's sundress)

 

She was victorious!

 

"And tei!" Alexa said as she pulled out her second secret triumph card…" A Second Spork!"

 

And with great strength, she impaled, this time, two veggies! Twice the might! Twice the impaler! She would be feared among the veggie tribes as Alexa the impaler, muahahahahaha!

 

So she ate! She devoured! She ravaged them into a wasteland devoid of life!

 

"For Alexa is the devourer! Muahahahahahahah," Alexa laughed evilly as she could taste the fears and despair of the veggies (She could not, since vegetables aren't sapient…quite yet).

 

"Alexa, you are dirtying your sundress…and the table." [Fan Girl] said coming to her side and using a napkin to rub her face.

 

"Mwhuuuuuu." Alexa could barely react and move as her face was squished and rubbed by the older [Fan Girl], she even licked the napkin and rubbed her face with that!

 

Was she tasting her? She wanted to nominate Alexa?!?!?!?

 

"I will-" Alexa attempted to say, only to be cruelly silenced!

 

How?

 

[Fan Girl] shoved a veggie into her mouth leaving Alexa no other choice but to nom at the veggie, she had a reputation to uphold against the rebels! She couldn't just spit it out!

 

This girl was cunning!

 

"Nom nom nom nom," Alexa grumbled as she nomed on the veggie, it was tasty and the taste of butter made it even tastier, it was…the tastiestest she had ever ate!

 

"There, clean and pretty again." [Fan girl] suddenly said, and with one smooth motion, she brought a small round crystal-like thingie from her pocket. A pocket mirror? "See? This is why you gotta eat slowly, the veggies will not run away."

 

Hmm….yes, she was the cutestest of them all.

 

"But they are tasty…" Alexa grumbled as she eyed herself and used one of her sporks to bite another broccoli. These were indeed tasty, and this one wasn't soggy!

 

This was justice! And she would not be denied her birthright! She wasn't sure what a birthright was, but she was sure she deserved it!

 

"I mean, we can continue eating these, but the-" [Fan Girl] started saying when a *ding* sounded behind them, from the kitchen, "Mango Pie is ready it seems."

 

"WEEEEEEEE" Alexa jumped with joy…and hunger, mostly hunger, but some joy here and there, she was about to rush at the highestest of speedestest she could bring out to claim her second birthright!

 

"Alexa…You will burn your hands, let me get it out first." [Fan Girl] 's voice made Alexa stop to a halt, she… didn't know what burn her hands meant on this setting, but it sounded like it hurt.

 

"....will it hurt Alexa's hands?" Alexa asked slowly turning to [Fan Girl] while looking at her small hands, she liked these hands. These hands helped her nom things, hold things to nom, they helped her in manipulating her Spork and they helped her to bring the good tasty stuff to her mouth.

 

They also helped her raise her Holy Grail (Sippy Bowl) and help her get the war between the forces of evil and justice settled down at dawn (The epic fight between Commodore Soap and Mister Squeaky).

 

She needed these hands.

 

"Do you like the meat in the hamburgers and steaks?" [Fan Girl] suddenly asked.

 

She indeed liked the juicy feeling, she liked her meat cooked till it was soft and she didn't like it chewy, if she wanted chewy meat she could just go to the sewers and eat a rat or something, she had heard about some kind of green thingy down there that was allegedly longer and more dangerous than the rats.

 

They called it a coco? A gator? something like that. She already had plans to go and search for it, it sounded like it was tasty and fun, maybe she could get a [Blueprint]? She had plenty blueprints but she wanted that one, allegedly it lived in the weird water of the sewers or something.

 

"Well, if you touch the oven without care, you will cook your cute little hands, and then we will have to eat them; you don't want to go around without hands, do you?" [Fan Girl] said, smiling as if it was the most obvious thing!

 

But it was not!

 

"No!" Alexa would deny that! "I need my hands! They help me nom things!"

 

She couldn't survive without her hands! Well, she could, she actually could probably grow a new pair, but those wouldn't be hers! They would be replacement hands!

 

How could she even touch her Sippy Bowl with fake hands!

 

Well, her current hands weren't exactly hers per se…Such a weird word, per se… Anyway! Her hands weren't real, perhaps, but they were as real as the rest of her body, so that didn't matter!

 

"Hmm…I wonder if Alexa's hand is tasty…what do you think, Alexa?" [Fan Girl] said with an evil, vicious (not) smile on her face! She even licked her lips!

 

Alexa was in danger! She needed an adult!

 

"*Nom*" Alexa bit her finger, and for some weird reason she wasn't able to pierce her skin and get purchase on her meat or bone…

 

Alexa liked the sound that bones made when she crunched them, but for some weird reason she wasn't able to do that, so she did the second best thing "*Pero pero pero (Sound of licking)*"

 

She licked her fingers.

 

"Alexa isn't tasty, she needs….more tastiness," Alexa said after licking her fingers, she really was surprised of that, she imagined she would taste sweet or something, but she didn't. Was it because she wasn't cooked?

 

Would she be tasty if cooked? She didn't know, but she couldn't afford to find out, if she ever ate herself she would be less Alexa! Less Alexa meant that she would be less cute! How could Alexa be the cutestest if she was less of herself!

 

Cutestest didn't work like that!

 

No!

 

She would not!

 

She would fight for her rights!

 

She would not be nomed! She had been born to nom!

 

She. Would. Nom. The. World!

 

"Alexa, stop sucking your finger and come to the table, your slice of Mango Pie will get cold." [Fan Girl] suddenly said from behind her, at the center of the table was the most beautifull-full thing she had ever seen.

 

And in front of her raised chair…a slice of heaven brought down to this cursed earth had descended.

 

It was…

 

“[Matematically a perfect triangle.]”

 

Gorgeous.

 

"...I have fallen in love…" Alexa said as she walked as if in a fever dream to the raised chair and climbed to sit down. She had one of her sporks on her left hand.

 

And at the right of the plate…stood one of the weak forks.

 

Alexa was confused, why was she given a weak fork if she had the mighty Spork?

 

Looking to [Fan Girl], the girl was using the weak fork to eat a slice of the Mango Pie…So Alexa brought up her Spork and tried to eat it like her…

 

And failed…

 

"....Why…the….The mighty Spork…" Alexa was confused. A second attempt in which she dedicated her full computational power (She tasked Main Core with analysis) showed the reason behind this. The Spork as one would expect had the spoon part of it.

 

A small part designed to hold liquids…. Unlike the fork that was flat. That made it easier to eat the mango pie.

 

But her Spork didn't have that advantage…

 

Her Spork…. wasn't able to help her eat the mango pie….

 

Was… was her Spork weaker? It couldn't be. It shouldn't be.

 

"Try it with the fork, I know you like those things, but there is a tool for each job." [Fan girl] said offering a fork.

 

Alexa turned to look at the fork that was placed at the side and took it with trembling hands, she used her left hand for this, as her right hand still had the mighty Spork there.

 

Alexa felt the cold metal and the sweet siren song coming from it, it was a devil! A devil in the form of a fork calling to her!

 

'Do it Alexa...use the fork...'

 

She would not be tempted!

 

"[There are no visual, audio, or recorded messages being transmited to host.]"

 

But...she wanted the mango pie...

 

"Maybe...just once..." Alexa said in a small voice as she left the sweet temptation of the devil dictate her movements, her hand moved smoothly towards the mango pie slice. Just like with her Spork, the fork cut a small part of the slice.

 

So far so good, it was the same as with her Spork...well, if anything it was like the fork could cut the mango pie slice easier since it was straight unlike the concave Spork...

 

But that was beside the point!

 

Alexa was about to test the...devil's pawn, the fork...Just to confirm how bad it was, how weaker it was against her mighty Spork. Yes, she only wanted to confirm how bad it did, there was no way it would do better than her Spork.

 

So Alexa took the piece of mango pie she had previously attempted to eat with her Spork, not the one she had cut with the fork, why? Because it was fair!

 

She would not give unfair advantages to the fork! It didn't deserve them!

 

So she raised the fork with the small piece of mango pie, and..."It didn't fall..." Alexa couldn't help but voice her thoughts, it was....strange.

 

She had gotten so used to her Spork that it was a weird thingi to see, the pointy ends of the fork allowed her to impale it longer, it helped secure the small part of the mango pie slice that she had cut.

 

So with trepidation Alexa allowed the fork to bring the small piece she had impaled into her mouth, and...

 

"Yummy..." Alexa said, looking at her Spork, she tried to do the same, but the pointy ends of her Spork were shorter; it didn't manage to get enough purchase on the food. And while the concave part of it did help...It wasn't enough to get purchase and the food fell (Once again) to the plate.

 

A look to the (Devil's) instrument on her non dominant hand, she used the fork to get the piece that had fallen and sure enough, she got purchase on it easily enough...

 

"Alexa, stop playing with your food." [Fan Girl] said from behind, but Alexa was not playing!

 

She was doing a very serious experiment! She needed to make sure this was not a fluke!

 

This...this could change everything!

 

She...she had found something that the inferior being could do better than her Spork!

 

Of course, Alexa was ignoring all the other times she made a mess of herself because the Spork couldn't hold the food she was eating! That was not the point!

 

It was normal to get messy when eating! P4 got messy all the time while eating! And Alexandra got messy when she was eating in the sewers, too! As did Ale!

 

See! Alexa was not in the wrong! Besides, she could just use her nanites to clean her clothes anyway, or take a bath!

 

Actually she may do that, she wanted to see if the subordinate of Commodore Soap had arrived, she wanted to see if Destroyer Shampoo would be as mighty as [Fan Girl] had said...

 

Actually...that reminded Alexa, "Why am I missing tomorrow's classes?" That she didn't know.

 

She knew why she missed today, since they had that weird mission with theater guy, but tomorrow? She would get forgotten by Alan and Karla!

 

Well, probably not, since she was the cutestest thing they had ever seen, it was close to impossible to forget Alexa after all.

 

"Oh that? Easy, tomorrow is the feast for the latest job. It was probably going to be canceled, but since you clinched the job and managed to finish it, we get to have a party...It is also probably to honor those we lost." [Fan Girl] said the last part in a small tone.

 

The lost?

 

"Ah! The ones that woke up as someone else and don't want to work with us?" Alexa said remembering that tiny bit of information, "How does that work?"

 

Alexa was still confused by that, even if they woke up as someone else, didn't they need to keep working to... you know, survive?

 

Wouldn't it be better to keep doing what they were doing before?

 

"....Yeah, the ones that didn't wake up. Anyway, I need to prepare a few things for tomorrow, so can I trust you to put anything that you don't eat in the refrigerator?" [Fan Girl] said going to her kitchen and bringing a white container made of that weird material that seemed to isolate temperatures, what was called? Foam something something something?

 

"[Expanded polystrene...or Styrofoam.]"

 

Yes, something something foam.

 

[Fan Girl] took a couple of those and placed some slices in each, she had taken four slices leaving only three remaining on her table.

 

"I'm not sure how it works between your other selves, but share with them in case they want one. And don't forget to wash your teeth before going to sleep." [Fan Girl] said leaving her apartment with a loot worthy of a king.

 

...Her mango pie...

 

"THERE IS NO GOD!" Alexa cried, cried the sound of her Soul...

 

There wasn't justice in this world.