Chapter Three Hundred and Six – Dine Hard with a Vengeance
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Stray Cat Strut (A cyberpunk system apocalypse!) - Ongoing
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Heart of Dorkness (A wholesome progression fantasy) - Ongoing
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Chapter Three Hundred and Six - Dine Hard with a Vengeance

“Anyone in particular we should get to know?” I asked Caprica.

“I suppose my older sister. She’s... well, you’ll meet her in a moment,” Caprica said. She was looking towards the small library-like section of the dining hall, specifically at a young sylph woman in a dark dress standing next to two older gentlesylph.

That had to be her sister. There was a clear resemblance between the two of them. The same brow and nose, though Caprica’s hair was a dark shade of brown, and her elder sister had pure black hair. “What’s her name?” I asked as we started to cross the room.

“Steph,” Caprica said. “Though she prefers Stephania with strangers. Her middle name is Rubbottom. My parents gave her the name after a Paladin that worked for father and served with mother for a few decades before retiring with honours. She hates the name.”

“Rubbottom,” Awen repeated. She brought her hands up to cover her mouth and hide a smile. “I think I can guess why she doesn’t like it.”

“Too bad, Uncle Rubrub is really nice. He gave me my first sword,” Caprica said.

Stephania turned as we approached, her gaze lingering on Caprica for a moment without a change in her expression before she scanned the rest of us. “A moment, gentlemen, I imagine my sister wishes to introduce her friends.”

The two sylph bowed curtly and nodded our way before walking off while chatting to each other. I wouldn’t have minded them staying. More company was always the best kind of company.

“Hello, Caprica,” Stephania said.

“Steph,” Caprica said. “You guessed already, but I wanted to present my friends to you.” She gestured to the side where Amaryllis, Awen and I stood. “This is Lady... This is Amaryllis, Awen, and Broccoli.”

I grinned. She’d made an effort to drop all of the titles. That was actually genuinely nice. We were more than just a collection of neat titles and family names.

“A pleasure,” Stephania said.

“Hi!” I said. “Do you do hugs?”

“Pardon?”

“Like this,” I said before stepping up and wrapping Stephania up in a quick hug. It was the rather boring, prompt kind of hug that didn’t give you much time to really enjoy the contact.

Stephania blinked at me as I broke away, then glanced at Caprica. “These are the heroes of the day?”

“They are,” Caprica said gravely. “Broccoli and Awen here discovered the plot to blow up the old palace and everyone in it. Awen disarmed the explosives while Broccoli valiantly fought the bomber until a brave Paladin showed up to assist her.”

“You’re skipping a few details,” I said.

“Awa, I only disarmed two bombs,” Awen said. “The guards took care of the rest.”

“Yeah, and I barely fought Rainnewt. He’s way stronger than I am, so most of my fighting didn’t end up doing much more than slow him down. Bastion did most of the work.”

Stephania sighed. “Of course Bastion was involved somehow. I should have guessed, with how excited you are about all of this, Caprica.”

“Don’t be that way, Steph,” Caprica said. She crossed her arms. “I’m hardly excited by all of this either. I could have died today. Father too, for that matter, and dozens of distant cousins and people we know as well. It most certainly would have sparked a war.”

“Yes, I suppose so,” Stephania said. “Why did you bring them to me, Caprica?”

“You’re being rude, Steph,” Caprica said.

“I can’t find it in me to care,” Stephania dismissed. “No side-stepping the question. We’re sisters aren’t we? Answer me honestly.”

Caprica let out a long sigh. “Because you usually have a good idea of what is going on in the city. I need to know what the nobility is thinking, the merchants. Your friends.”

Stephania shook her head. “And to think you’ve always looked down on me for spending time with business people, rather than those of you who like to play dress-up as soldiers.”

“Um, are we stepping into something here?” I asked.

“Sounds like the average sisterly argument to me,” Amaryllis said. “Let me guess, you both pursued different hobbies, got pulled apart by different peer groups, and now you’re both too obstinate around whatever you’re passionate about to reconcile, even though both of you still love each other.”

Caprica and Stephania both looked at Amaryllis for a long moment before they both shook their heads.

“Absolutely not.”

“I’m afraid you’re entirely wrong.”

Awen and I giggled, which had them both wear the exact same expression of offended nobility.

“You’re both cute,” I said. “Miss Stephania, if you don’t mind me saying so, I think Caprica just wants to share her new friends with someone she cares about a lot. She made sure to have us spend time with Gabrielle already too. And I think all three of us would love to be your friend too.”

Stephania Rubbottom
Desired Quality: Someone to acknowledge her superior intellect
Dream: To become the wealthiest sylph in all of Sylphfree to show up her bratty little sister

That dream... was going to take some working around.

“Fine then,” Caprica said. “I really could use your help, Steph. And this is to try and head off a clash of arms. Imagine how many of my play-soldier peers will be upset if a war never happens.”

Stephania rolled her eyes. “Very well. I suppose it is for a good cause. Though there are some among my own peers who are rather eager for great battles and the opportunity for government contracts.”

“I can imagine,” Caprica said. “They might bear investigating.”

One of Stephania’s eyebrows quirked up. “Oh? So this is your ruse. Come over all friendly and chatty with.. these three bizarre characters, then find out which business sylph you can pin some of your troubles on?”

“Hardly,” Caprica said. “It’s just as likely that the trouble comes from the military, or a radical branch of it.”

“Um,” I said. “Haven’t we proven that Rainnewt is responsible for everything?”

Caprica shook her head. “We haven’t. And even if he takes full responsibility, it’s unlikely to be true. Too much has happened for it all to be orchestrated by one person. He needed to have co-conspirators. Perhaps even people who are above him in terms of responsibility. It wouldn’t be like the leader of a conspiracy to do the dirty work themselves.”

I didn’t have that impression from Rainnewt. He seemed more than capable of tricking people, but working with others over the long term was... probably something he had to work on.

“If you say so, I guess,” I said.

Caprica nodded. “I do say so. This might be a great opportunity to weed out some tasteless opinions near the top of our society.”

That didn’t sound very nice. But before I could ask about it, a bell tinkled. A butler stood next to the table, a small silvery chime in one hand, a towel draped over his other arm. A team of serving sylph had slipped into the room without me noticing and were placing down plates and cutlery onto the table in the centre of the room with quick efficiency. “Dinner will be served momentarily,” the butler said in a gentle voice that nonetheless carried across the room. “Please, find your seats at your convenience.”

Each seat had plenty of room on either side of it, and along with that, small plaques with names engraved upon them sat in front of the plates and silverware.

“Come, I imagine you’ll all be near the head of the table today,” Caprica said.

She wasn’t wrong. Awen, Amaryllis and I were to the head seat’s right. Awen’s seat was right next to the king’s with me sandwiched between her and Amaryllis. Caprica and her sister sat across from us, and I imagined those were the seats reserved for family or something.

The seats were comfy, but just a bit short. I was sitting with my feet planted on the ground and my knees up a bit. The table and chairs were a bit sylph-sized, even if they were grandiose and pretty.

The king walked in without ceremony or fanfare next to someone I assumed was a paladin until a maid rushed out and placed a second seat next to the king’s, then another came with plates and cutlery for the new place-setting. The queen?

Everyone but Caprica and Stephania stood, so my friends and I did the same after a moment of confused hesitation.

“Oh, don’t bother, please,” the maybe-queen said.

She was tiny, one of the smallest adult sylph I’d seen, with short-cropped hair that was an exact match of Caprica’s and a scowl fit for an angry schoolteacher. Her armour was definitely a paladin’s, if a bit lighter than what I’d seen Bastion wear normally.

The king pulled out his wife’s chair, and she rolled her eyes before sitting down.

“Good evening, everyone,” the king said as he sat down in turn. The last few people still standing dropped back into their seats. The king clapped his hands in eager glee. “I heard that we have scallops from Quickwood, and this very nice apple brandy from Mattergrove. And Captain Bunch?”

“Huh? Oh, yes?” I asked.

“I made sure the chefs prepared a more vegetarian meal for you,” he said. “No need to worry.”

“Oh, thank you! I think I can eat most things though. I wasn’t born a bun, so meats and stuff only give me a bit of a tummy ache.”

The king chuckled. “Well, we wouldn’t want that.”

The same servants that had set the table were suddenly placing appetisers down before us, and I had to wonder if their sneakiness was some sort of cool skill.

The smells from the food around me hit, and I suddenly realized that I was starving. It was an effort not to drool like a baby bun as I picked a fork at random and started gobbling up my meal.

I noticed Amaryllis rolling her eyes, and some of the nobles further down were trying hard to look composed and proper as they ate, but I didn’t see the point in that.

Whenever a course was finished, the servants returned--from where?! I was paying attention and I never caught them entering the room--and placed the next meal down in front of whomever had finished.

There was a bit of small-talk all across the table. The king asked Caprica and Stephania about their days, the queen said that Gabrielle was feeling better after a long day’s rest, but that she wanted to take an evening nap so she had an early dinner. Mostly though, everyone was too busy eating to talk.

And then, before I knew it a butler set before me a small slice of cake that I wasn’t sure would fit in my tummy. I wasn’t sure I could eat it, but I was certain I’d give it a try. It was vanilla with some sort of strawberry jam on it and it looked like something from the good kind of dream.

“I know it’s something of a faux-pas,” the king said.

I glanced up. He was talking to me and my friends.

“But I wanted to ask a few questions, if you don’t mind. Mostly about the dungeons you’ve managed to clear on the way here.”

I opened my mouth to speak, but a talon poking my leg from under the table shut me up. “What do you want to know?” Amaryllis asked as she dabbed her lips with a serviette.

“The Captain was able to repair a dungeon, correct?” he asked.

“Less repair, and more rid it of a pest,” Amaryllis said. “Twice, in fact, once in the wilderness to the south of the Crying Mountains, and once again in the tiny port of Innsmouth.”

“We have a piece of root from that dungeon!” I remembered. “It’s in the Beaver.

“I see,” the king said. “Would you be willing to demonstrate, Captain Bunch?” he asked. “We have something of an issue at a local dungeon, and there are quite a few people who would like to see your abilities first-hand.”

“Oh, sure,” I said. “But after dessert.”

***

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Voting makes Broccoli smile!


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