Chapter Three Hundred and Twelve – Lay Them to Rest
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Stray Cat Strut (A cyberpunk system apocalypse!) - Ongoing
Fluff (A superheroic LitRPG about cute girls doing cute things!) - Ongoing
Love Crafted (Interactive story about an eldritch abomination tentacle-ing things!) - Completed
Dreamer's Ten-Tea-Cle Café (An insane Crossover about cute people and tentacles) - Ongoing
Cinnamon Bun (A wholesome LitRPG!) - Ongoing
The Agartha Loop (A Magical-Girl drama!) - Hiatus
Lever Action (A fantasy western with mecha!) - Volume One Complete!
Heart of Dorkness (A wholesome progression fantasy) - Ongoing
Dead Tired (A comedy about a Lich in a Wuxia world doing Science!) - Hiatus

Chapter Three Hundred and Twelve - Lay Them to Rest

Lieutenant Petalwrought fought the toy knight with grace and skill. He reminded me of Bastion, though his stance was lower, and he struck with more force and slid back with less finesse. A different fighting style, but one that wasn’t too far away, then?

The toy knight swung its wooden sword around with big, sweeping arcs that unbalanced it and sent it spinning. Even though it was clumsy, I still had the impression that it was dangerous. The toy’s arms were pretty long, and that wooden sword, even if it wasn’t very sharp, was still heavy-looking. The lieutenant and his two companions made sure never to be close to it, not even trying to block the blows with their shields.

The blankifolds around us shifted closer. Like curious dogs chasing a scent.

Lucille raised her wizard’s staff, then pointed the end of it to the nearest. “Permission to burn it out?” she asked.

The nearest knight considered it for a moment. “Granted,” he said.

A whooshing ball of fire raced out of the end of Lucille’s staff, hotter than anything I could produce by far. It splashed against the monster, then stuck to it, the fire almost acting like a liquid.

The blankifold squirmed for a bit, but it was mostly made of fabric, and cloth wasn’t exactly the most fireproof of materials.

Unfortunately, the floor was also made of fabric.

“Oh, that’s annoying,” Lucille said. She waved her staff around, and I felt the air grow dry as the air shifted in her direction. A ball of water formed, and she fired it out ahead in a big wave that splashed over the burning blankifold and the quilted floor around it.

Water hissed and smoke rose. When it cleared the fire was gone, and the blankifold was very much dead.

Ding! Congratulations, you have burned out Quilted Blankifold, level 10!
Due to combating as a team your reward is reduced!

“Huh,” I said.

“Got experience for that?” Amaryllis guessed. I nodded and she continued. “It’s normal. Big parties like this are pretty terrible for levelling though. The experience isn’t much, and it’s split too many ways.”

“That's why you need to make up for it by eliminating more targets,” Lucille said. “Though perhaps let’s not use fire.”

“I’m not great with ranged options,” I said. “Not unless cloth-monsters are weak to Cleaning magic.”

Bron chuckled, a deep, booming sound. “No, I’m afraid not.”

“They’re coming this way,” Erin said. He pointed with the tip of his spear at the blankifolds, who were, indeed, coming our way.

I squinted. No, they weren’t actually. They were all moving, but not all towards us. A lot of them were shifting carefully towards the middle of the room, towards the hill where the lieutenant was fighting.

The toy knight was looking worse for wear. An arm had been clipped off at the elbow, and a whole leg was missing. Its sword was gone too, so all it could do was hop on one leg and try to kick the knights around it.

Soon it would be replaced by another one of the toys on the mobile.

“They’re surrounding the lieutenant,” Aria said. “Is that normal behaviour?”

One of the knights guarding our group swore. “It happens,” he said. “We need to form a circle around the hill.”

“Let’s do it right, then,” Bron said. “Everyone can fight here, but we should space out our best fighters to provide uniform protection. Captain Broccoli here’s the important one, too.”

“Agreed,” the same knight said.

They hatched a quick plan. Everyone would form a ring around the boss fight, far enough to be well out of range of the fighting atop the hill. The set-up was simple enough. I was going to be sandwiched between the two knights, which was a little annoying, then clockwise from there, it was Amaryllis, Bron, Aria, Lucille, Erin, Awen, and finally back around to the knight that was on my right.

It took a bit for those on the far end to get to their spots, but the blankifolds were slow movers, and we had plenty of time to position ourselves. And plenty of room to move in, too.

I swiped my scythe through the air a few times. Weedbane was going to be tricky to use. The angle on the blade was all wrong for slashing, and it was a bit top-heavy. The pole being crooked also made it hard to hang onto it.

A blankifold started to undulate its way closer to me. One of the knights stepped out towards it.

“Ah! Wait, can I get this one?” I asked. “This is a new weapon I still need to figure out, and I’d rather do that with something easy.”

The knight paused, then glanced at the blankifold. It was only level ten, and he was right there. “As you wish, Captain,” he said. He stepped back a bit, but still kept his sword by his side.

I grinned as I stepped up. The blankifold would be tricky to fight normally; they seemed to like staying low to the ground, with only the edges of their surface touching the quited ground.

The blankifold must have seen me coming... even if it didn’t have eyes. It reared up, the cloth behind it bunching into a spring-like fold, then the entire creature shoved itself towards me.

I swung Weedbane to meet up. The tip of the scythe poked into the middle of the cloth, then the blade moved through the blankifold as if it wasn’t even there.

With a quick side-hop, I moved out of the blankifold’s path, letting it flop onto the ground where I’d been standing. It was cut, but not dead. I guessed that it didn’t really have internal organs, so I’d have to chop it up some more if I wanted to defeat it.

Swinging the scythe around, I spun my entire body to put more strength into my next swipe. Weedbane sang as its blade cut the air, and just like that, the blankifold was split in half down the middle.

Ding! Congratulations, you have chopped up Quilted blankifold, level 10!
Due to combating as a team your reward is reduced!

“Oh, that’s sharp,” I murmured as I stopped my spin.

It seemed as though I’d have to fight in quite a different way if I wanted to use Weedbane. My spade just needed me to bonk things with the flat end, or chop them with the sharp bits. Weedbane could only scythe through things along a very close arc. Anything farther away and it was more like a long pickaxe.

“Interesting weapon,” the knight said.

“Thanks, I think,” I said. “It’s a bit weird.”

“Weird isn’t bad,” he said. “Experienced fighters probably won’t know what to think of someone carrying that around.”

“They’ll probably just think I’m weird,” I said. I turned as I heard a clanking behind me. The mobile was turning, dragging up the body of the toy knight which was very much broken. The elephant slid into place, then it trumpeted loud and clear from its felt nose.

“Watch your footing!” Lieutenant Petalwrought shouted.

The elephant reared up, then brought down its plush forepaws with a thundering boom. The quilted land rippled out in a wave from the elephant, staggering some of the others, but I was able to hop up and hug my knees to my chest, letting it pass under me.

I landed with a bounce, the plush terrain still wobbling a bit.

Glancing back, I saw the lieutenant dart in and chop the elephant apart, foamy clouds of white stuffing flying all over as the elephant’s stitching was chopped up.

The mobile creaked again even as the lieutenant backed away.

The shooting star descended, and immediately I felt a warmth hit me even as the room grew brighter.

The star started to fly in widening circles, faster and faster. That lasted as long as it took for the lieutenant to slap the shooting star out of the air.

I didn’t even get to see how it fought, which was a little disappointing.

What was next? The sheep?

The mobile shifted and a fluffy sheep landed on the ground.

I noticed a few of the others fighting off blankifolds, so the perimeter was holding. Lieutenant Petalwrought would have plenty of time to deal with the sheep.

I yawned and lowered Weedbane’s pole, leaning against it.

“Stay awake, everyone!” Lucille shouted from across the arena. “There’s a sleep-inducing effect at work!”

“Really?” I asked. Then I stifled another yawn. It was a strong yawn, the sort that brought tears to your eyes. “Oh, yeah, I guess so.”

The sheep was harder for the lieutenant to hit. His two knight companions ended up helping him. Mostly it just hopped around a lot, and when they struck it, any blows against its fluff just bounced right off, with a noise like someone smacking a pillow.

Speaking of pillows, I felt like I could really use one.

I smacked my cheek a few times, then shook my head until my ears hurt from wiggling around too much. I had to stay awake!

Eventually the lieutenant skewered the sheep with a swift strike, and I felt a warmth leaving me. It was as if someone had just gently removed a blanket I was snuggling with. It didn’t snap me back awake, but it did remove that sleepy influence.

The mobile moved, stuttered, then jerked down.

The last one to defeat, the wizard.

That one was scary. It was a magic-user, and the toy wizard was wrapped up in thin, viney tendrils.

It raised both of its arms, and I felt mana shifting in the air around it. A spell?

Then the Lieutenant stepped up to it and casually lopped its head off, then both arms, then the legs, then he cut the mobile's strings and chopped the body in half before it could hit the ground.

Parts of the wizard flopped to the ground.

Ding! Congratulations, you have put The Sleeper’s Mobile, level 12, to sleep!
Due to combating as a team your reward is reduced!

“That was easy,” Amaryllis said.

Lieutenant Petalwrough nodded, then began to check his sword for nicks. “The wizard’s the most dangerous of them all, but the easiest to defeat. It doesn’t move and it’s relatively weak. Its spells take a long time to cast as well, but they are deadly. It’s a good lesson for recruits to learn.” He sheathed his sword with a click. “The floor’s done. Is everyone well?”

No one was injured. The others had taken out a few blankifolds here and there, but there weren’t that many of them in the room, not compared to the size of our group. I dismissed the exp notifications, and joined the others near the centre. “Where to next?” Aria asked.

“That way. The door should be unlocked for us to return to the starting room,” the lieutenant said.

Aria nodded, then dropped to one knee next to the wizard. “This one had some roots on it.”

“And I noticed that the mobile was functioning a little worse than usual,” the lieutenant said. “The sheep is usually more of a challenge, and the mechanism jammed before the wizard came down.”

“I noticed that too,” Aria said. She took a few notes, then fished a small vial from her pack into which she placed a length of the root with some tongs. “That’ll do for now.”

As a group, we started towards the far end of the arena. I bounced a bit. Now that the area was safe, I could participate in some good, wholesome bed-jumping. My friends rolled their eyes or giggled (Amaryllis and Awen respectively) but the others in the group didn’t seem to mind at all.

Maybe it was because I was a bun? Buns were bouncy. It was just the way they were.

“What’s the next floor like?” Aria asked.

“We’ll go over it in a moment,” the lieutenant said. “Suffice to say, it won’t be as easy as this one.”

***

Are You Entertained?

I know it sucks to announce this, but I'm considering taking a small break in June. I've been going on for a while, usually working over 12 hours a day, with no days off, since January, and I'm getting a bit stressed out. I might take like, a two day break or something. No writing so that I can do all of the other work I need to catch up on.


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Some of my stories are on TopWebFiction!
-Cinnamon Bun
-Stray Cat Strut
-Lever Action
-Dead Tired
-Heart of Dorkness
Voting makes Broccoli smile!


The following books are available as paperbacks (and as Ebooks) on Amazon. Oh, and there’s an awesome audiobook for Cinnamon Bun Volume One and Two, and also Love Crafted!

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Thank you so much for all your support everyone! And thank you extra hard for allowing me to do this for a living; I’ll do my best to keep you entertained!

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