Chapter Four Hundred and Two - Sailor-Suited Soldiers of Love and Justice!

“Okay,” I said. “We all agree that this is probably not a very good idea.”

There were nods all around.

“But we’re all going to do it anyway because this is fun and because these school uniforms are really cute?”

Amaryllis sighed, but she sighed while looking really cute, so it kind of defeated the entire point of it.

Valerian had enough Mitytea uniforms for everyone, and since the uniforms were designed to accommodate all sorts of students of all sorts of sizes, they included a small but potent resizing enchantment. At least, that’s what my Insight skill suggested.

So right now, all of my friends and I (even including Calamity) were decked out like first year academy students. That meant that at the moment we were all wearing white jackets with little golden brass buttons with pale blue epaulettes and a poofy pink ascot.

The uniform looked very naval, and that’s because it kind of was. Mitytea Academy had been founded, in part, by some humans who’d originally come from the Kingdom of Endless Swells, where they had a deep and long-standing naval tradition which carried into their way of dress.

The uniform was basically a low-ranking officer’s uniform repurposed for the Academy.

Well, repurposed and modified, because I was very certain that naval officers didn’t wear pleated skirts while onboard a ship, or knee-high socks.

“I feel like I should be wearing pantyhose,” I said as I looked at myself in the mirror. “This uniform shows off a lot of leg.”

“Ah, it’s okay,” Awen said. “You have, um, nice legs?”

I grinned at her reflection. “Thanks!” It must have been all the jumping and bouncing around. It made for good strong leg muscles.

Amaryllis huffed a rather disappointed sort of huff and I glanced over to her. She didn’t have the socks, of course, because that would look strange with her rather birdy legs. “There is no way the academy doesn’t know what they’re doing with these uniforms,” she said. “I bet this is just another strange tactic to get the school into a better position.”

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Calamity grumbled.

He was standing in the corner of the wardrobe room (Valerian had an entire room just for his clothes - and it was not a small room) with his arms crossed and a rather serious pout on.

“Are you sure you want to come?” I asked. “You don’t look super comfortable.”

The problem was, of course, that Milytea was an all-girl’s academy. Though I wasn’t going to tell Calamity that he looked very nice in a skirt and dress top, even if the top in question was currently stuffed with a balled-up shirt to give him a bit more of a feminine appearance.

“I don’t mind,” Calamity mumbled. “Better than being stuck here with the harpy noble. Don’t know how long I’d be able to hear him go on about the love of his life before I started to feel sick of it.”

“He is very... passionate,” I said.

“Will you even be able to pass yourself off as a woman at all?” Amaryllis asked.

Calamity glared at her. “What’s that supposed to mean?” He grabbed the sides of his skirt and wiggled them about. “I’m wearing the uniform, aren’t I?”

“I think what Amaryllis is trying to say,” Caprica butted in. “Is that looking feminine is about more than just wearing a skirt. It’s about how you walk and stand and act. You’re a little... masculine, Calamity.”

Calamity just stared at Caprica while I stifled a giggle. Then he started to walk across the room and back, swaying his hips a bit with every step and affecting a very girly walk. When he stopped, his knees were a bit together and his shoulders had shifted inwards in a way that was just... very girly. “Is this good?” he asked, his voice pitched entirely differently than usual.

“That... works,” Amaryllis said. “Or it would if you weren’t wearing that moustache.”

Calamity’s cheeks puffed out. “Now ny’all want me to remove my moustache too?” he asked. “This is emasculating.”

“You’re the one that wants to go to an all girls school,” Amaryllis snapped back.

Calamity ripped his dwarven-made prosthetic moustache off and stuffed it away. “Fine,” he said. “I’ll remember this though, birdbrain.”

With that particular issue solved and all of us dressed to the nines, we slipped out of the changing room to find Valerian pacing just outside. “Ah, you’re ready,” he said.

“Yup,” I said.

“You are aware that regardless of whether this plan works out, you’ll owe us one, right?” Amaryllis asked.

“Yes, of course,” Valerian said. “I can’t imagine this being any danger, however. The academies are very safe unless they decide to have a go at each other.”

“They have a reputation of being safe, but I'm not sure we can actually rely on that,” Amaryllis said. “But sure, we’ll manage. If we can handle skypirates and rogue dungeons, I’m sure we can handle a schoolyard scuffle if it comes to it.”

Valerian smiled and nodded, then carefully extended a package to us. It was relatively small and wrapped in brown paper. “This is my letter, as well as a few gifts for Cottage. Please make sure she gets everything.”

“Sure,” Amaryllis said as she took the package. Then she glanced down at herself and frowned. “This uniform has no pockets.”

“Cottage has complained about that at length as well. Apparently the school allows for satchels and purses and backpacks, which have become the best way for someone to flaunt their wealth,” Valerian said. “There are some very exclusive leatherworkers in Inkwren who make practical works of art. They have backlogs that can last years!”

That sounded... actually, that sounded like exactly what people would do. “Is it just purses and bags?” I asked.

Valerian shrugged. “Shoes as well. Those tend to be a status symbol across all the academies, however. Most academy uniforms feature robes or the like--except for Spear’s Academy; they don’t have a dress code at all--so it’s normal for students to flaunt their wealth with nicer footwear and accessories. And in some schools, nicer, more tailored robes.”

I couldn’t decide if Inkwren was weird for that or not.

“So, where is Mitytea Academy?” I asked. “Is it far?”

“Oh no, it’s not far at all,” Valerian said. “I picked this hotel because of its relative proximity to the academy. Mitytea is one of the academies that is closest to the centre of the city. It’s campus is quite small compared to some of the others. Just take a left on exiting the hotel, then another left at the nearest intersection, you can’t really miss the school after that.”

“And where is Cottage staying?” I asked.

“She’ll be in the dorms. There’s only one dormitory, but it’s quite large. Third floor, east wing. The rooms are unnumbered, but they have the names of the occupants on them. You could leave the package with Cottage’s roommate, if you want. She's quite nice as well.”

We didn’t have much more to discuss past that. Awen had a satchel still, so after moving some of her emergency tools to the side, we were able to stash the package away, then we headed out.

I was expecting us to get a lot of looks. Four girls and one boy-dressed-as-a-girl walking around in bright white uniforms, but surprisingly no one seemed to glance our way.

Well, no one but a bunch of young men in black robes who whistled rather rudely until Amaryllis fired a bolt of lightning past their ears.

We went left on leaving the hotel, and I was very aware of how unarmoured I was, which was a strange thing to notice. Had I gotten so used to wearing at least a gambeson and cuirass that now that I was without I was feeling a bit... not naked, but certainly underdressed?

Like showing up at a fancy party in jeans and a t-shirt.

“I’m surprised,” Caprica said as we walked along. “That you were so eager to accept this little side quest, Amaryllis.”

“You’re specifically surprised that I wanted to take it?” Amaryllis asked.

“Yes. Awen doesn’t seek out trouble, Calamity seeks out another kind of trouble, and Broccoli seems like she’s be willing to do anything for the sake of meeting new people. You, on the other hand, always seemed like the level-headed voice of reason.”

I... should I have been insulted. Awen and Calamity seemed more amused than anything, and I was never in a hurry to find fault in something a friend said, but still, that didn’t sound right at all. I wasn’t willing to try anything to meet new people.

Amaryllis huffed. “You may remember Francisco? You met him in Sylphfree.”

“The rather arrogant harpy man that challenged you to a duel, yes, I remember him. You clearly have some history with him,” Caprica said.

“‘History’ doesn’t cover the depths of my hatred for that man,” Amaryllis said. “In any case, Valerian is his older brother. He is... perhaps a little more simple and less cunning than Francisco, but if my parents had arranged for me to marry him instead, perhaps I wouldn’t have been so keen on removing his head. He’s a... nice man.”

I processed that for a moment. The somewhat dopey and nice Valerian we’d just met, who seemed very in love right now and rather silly for it, married to my best friend Amaryllis. That would lead to a very poor Valerian whom Amaryllis would lead by the tip of his beak. I loved Amaryllis very much, but she was the sort of woman whose spine was made of some sort of magically-reinforced steel.

“That doesn’t explain why we’re all dressed like schoolgirls heading off on a mission with very little time to prepare,” Caprica said.

“Well, mostly I want him to owe me one, and can you imagine how angry Francisco will be when I call in that favour?” Amaryllis asked. “Ah, I don’t know how it is among the sylph, but within harpy society, a favour is owned by a family. I could call that favour with nearly any Hawk. Though really there are some practical issues with that.”

Caprica nodded along. “Self-interest and a petty need to one-up your adversary then. That makes a lot more sense.”

Amaryllis huffed, insulted, but unable to contradict the statement.

Fortunately for her ego, we arrived at the next intersection and turned left, and I found my eyes caught by a car moving by. An actual car, not pulled by horses, but by a large steam engine billowing smoke out above it and making a huge amount of noise while a team of students from one of the academies hung onto it.

“Whoa,” I said. “I haven’t seen cars in a while.”

“It’s hardly impressive,” Amaryllis said. “A less useful use of an engine than an airship. Far more confined.”

That... was weird to think of, especially coming from a world where cars were all over, but in a way she was right. This world had roads, sure, but most were unpaved, and they certainly weren’t asphalted. Besides, Amaryllis came from a super mountainous region, and so did Caprica. They wouldn't be able to use cars if they had them. Mattergrove might, but they seemed to be having a hard time catching up to other nation’s development of airships and the like.

I set all of that aside as we paused before a large wrought-iron gate, the words “Mitytea Academy” emblazoned over the top. Beyond that was a beautiful set of buildings made of a beige stone, with verdigris-green rooftops arranged in a large C around a central courtyard.

There were a number of girls within, all in the same white uniforms we were now wearing.

“Looks like this is it,” Amaryllis said. “Let’s deliver that letter and get out of here.”

***