Ch. 5 F: Rosie
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WARNING: This chapter contains references to self-harm and verbal abuse

By the time she reached the city’s eastern district Fena was still struggling to regain a semblance of composure. But the issue still boiled at the back of her mind, gnawing at her. Part of her simply couldn't accept what the Guildmaster had said. Part of her didn’t want to. 

Damn. Damn damn damn. I- I need to calm down. Please, please calm down.

The Crow fluttered behind, watching her closely with narrowed eyes. It swooped closer, close enough to whisper into her ear.

“Get out of sight. Down that alley, now.”

Sick of the prying eyes and suddenly claustrophobic bodies that surrounded her, Fena ducked down the alley Crow mentioned. Her body began to hyperventilate as memories came rushing out of a box once thought tightly sealed. Voices, faces, expectations and demands. 

No. No. You don’t matter anymore. Leave me alone.

A charming smile, glittering eyes flashed into view. 

You-you don’t control me. Go away.

An angry moustache, full of fury and disappointment.

Leave me alone. Please, please... 

Fena’s body suddenly lost its balance, sending her stumbling to her knees. 

“Fuck,” muttered Fena as her whole body shivered and trembled. “Th-The bear should have lasted me much, much longer…”

The Crow quickly landed next to her, an urgent expression on its beak. 

“Quick! Do it quickly! It’ll be easier once it’s done with!” it urged. 

Barely able to control her muscles, Fena slowly reached for one of her swords. Her hand twitched and spasmed as she raised the sword, but Fena couldn’t tell if it was in fear or in hungry desperation. 

“Please-please forgive me…”

Twenty minutes later a slightly dazed but stable Fena walked out of the alley. Blood soaked her clothes and she awkwardly held her left wrist close to her chest, but the old unshakable expression on her face was back. She rearranged her clothing slightly so that the worst of the bloodstains were less visible, then made her back to the attic room she called home. 

The streets in the Eastern District were far narrower and dirtier; panhandlers called out to her as people dumped their waste in the streets. Every city had a poor district and it was here that the poor, the criminals and the trodden-down of Anquitania gathered. It was also the most dangerous district but Fena liked it here; lodging was cheap, and it didn't remind her of her old home. Most importantly, it was a good place to hide. People didn't ask questions and it was easy to disappear in the many nooks and crannies of the twisting houses and maze-like structures. Being the oldest district, there was no building system here;  houses were haphazardly intertwined, built on top of and into each other. Some of the oldest houses had even gradually sunk below the earth, becoming basements for the new ones built above. Fena had heard that it was possible to traverse the entire district underground by tunneling between these long forgotten structures, though she had never investigated that herself. 

I really ought to do that sometime… just in case.

So entangled was the district that newcomers often hired guides to help them traverse the area, though bodyguards were likely far more helpful. It had taken Fena more than a few wrong turns and many fights before she got the hang of navigating safely. 

Fena stopped in front of a large two story house, which unusually sat completely independent of the other buildings surrounding it. Two scantily dressed women stood in front of it, flirting and calling out to anyone who came near under a sign labelled The Black Kitten. As Fena approached, their expressions immediately brightened when they saw her.

"Fena, darling! Working hard or hardly working?" called out one.

"I should ask you the same thing Mona." Fena answered.

The redheaded girl gave her a glare. 

"My name's Crystal when I'm working. I should've never told you my real name."

"Alright-alright, sorry 'Crystal'. It's just such a cute name."

'Crystal' pretended to be miffed and looked away. The dark haired girl smiled apologetically at Fena, then gave her a concerned glance as she noticed the rapidly browning stains on Fena’s shirt.

“Are you alright Fena? What happened?”

Fena followed her gaze, then gave a convincing laugh.

“Oh these? Don’t worry, it’s not mine. The other guy looked way worse, trust me.” The Crow on her shoulder added a slight snigger. 

Only slightly reassured, the girl nodded slowly then continued. 

"Your job seems kind of rough huh. Well, it hasn't been great here either honestly. Seems like some of our regulars were arrested last night."

"Did they cause trouble here?"

"No but the Madam might ask you to guard the door in the coming days. Seems like the whole district is on edge."

Fena frowned.

"Did something happen while I was gone?"

"Nothing specific," chimed in 'Crystal'. "But, well… some adventurers have been going around asking questions. They're looking for someone, and you know the locals don't like those kinds of questions. Also there's a rumor running round that the city guard might start cracking down around here. It makes people jumpy."

Fena couldn't stop her face from paling slightly. 

"Looking for someone? Who?"

"Some woman. The usual story. A nobleman chasing after his lost love," answered 'Crystal' nonchalantly.

The dark haired girl caught Fena's strained expression. "Don't worry about it too much, Fena dear. There are plenty of people hiding out here; I'm sure it's not you they're after."

Fena flashed a brief smile. 

"Thanks Aziza. But it's not like I'm in hiding or anything."

'Crystal' rolled her eyes.

"Sure you're not. Mysterious past, jumpy expression, living in this district; you're perfectly normal. Don't worry about it so much, Fena. You're like family here. Besides, it's not like we're eager to get rid of our best bouncer."

Fena couldn’t stop a barely perceptible flinch from escaping. She dropped her gaze and muttered, "Right right. I had better go find the madam and stop keeping you from your work. Hope you catch someone rich tonight."

"Thanks, dear! Go get some rest as well, you look like you need it."

Nodding to the girls, Fena made her way inside the brothel. She entered into a large wooden two story room filled with tables and booths. Stairs led up to a long balcony on the far wall, while a bar sat shadowed underneath. Red and yellow drapes decorated the room, though they looked like they should have been replaced a few years ago. But the centerpiece of the room, a large stage in the left-hand corner still gleamed thanks to attentive and caring hands. At this time of day the room was still quiet, but once evening fell it would be filled with a rowdy crowd of men and women.

Fena pushed her way past the bar, towards the employees only door tucked behind. She gave Edna the barmaid a brief wave while asking her where the Madam was.

"She's out back givin' lil Rosie 'er readin lesson. Ye can go nag 'er if ya want, she’ll be glad o’ the excuse to git away."

"Thanks, Edna."

The Crow hopped down from Fena’s shoulder and stuck its head in a jar of olives. Fena gave it a look, but it only gave a cheeky wave back. 

“Go on ahead, I got important business here.”

Fena went through the door and followed a long corridor that led to an outdoor garden. Fena quite liked it here; it was a neatly tended little place that allowed the employees at the Black Kitten to relax and destress. The place may have been a brothel, but it took care of its workers. It even looked after any children that were accidentally born, such as Rosie. As Fena neared the garden she could hear her young voice burst into laughter as Madam Isabelle groaned in frustration. 

Rounding the corner she spotted Madame Isabelle and the 6 year old Rosie seated at a garden table with a collection of books spread out between them. Isabelle jabbed at the notebook in front of Rosie.

"No, Rosie, you can't make your way in life communicating via doodles! What happens when you need to write a letter?! What if you want to be an accountant in the future?!"

"Drawing is more fun! Everyone else should jus' draw instead!" protested Rosie with a cheeky grin. "I don't wanna be an acco- accoun- accounan anyway."

Isabelle heaved an exhausted sigh and threw up her hands, on the verge of giving up. Taking pity, Fena stepped forward into the conversation. 

“Hey Rosie! Are you studying properly?”

The little girl’s expression lit up like an out of control flare. 

“AUNTY FENNY!! You’re back!” She burst out of her chair with an explosion of energy and latched her arms around Fena’s waist.

“How was your trip? Did you see anyfing cool? Did you kill a big monster? Did you save a princess? Tell me everything!”

A rare smile of genuine happiness crept across Fena’s face as she bent down to return the hug. Isabelle also stood, a poorly concealed expression of relief sprinting across her face.

“Good to see you in one piece, Fena. Rosie has been asking after you all day. Be a dear and tell her a bit about your adventures would you? I have to prepare for this evening.” Saying so, she quickly made her escape after having successfully dumped the hyperactive child onto someone else. Fena could only admire the speed at which she went; Isabelle famously could not handle Rosie for more than ten minutes before collapsing from exhaustion. Even the little girl’s own mother, Mona, could only keep up for an hour. Nonetheless Isabelle and everyone else took it upon themselves to look after the girl and help raise her; that was the sort of place the Black Kitten was. 

Breaking free from the hug, Fena put on a semi serious expression.

“Oh, I had simply the most wild adventure! I was swallowed by a great big bear!” Fena lunged forward and tickled the girl’s waist. She collapsed, giggling as she tried to worm free.

“No you didn’t! How did you escape?”

“Surprise! I didn’t! I turned into the bear, and now I’ll gobble you up too!”

Rosie let out a shriek of laughter and scurried away, shouting over her shoulder, “Not if you can’t catch me!” She grabbed a nearby stick and brandished it at Fena. “I, Rosie the Adventurer will stop you!” 

Fena pulled off her best bear impression as she roared and galloped forward, her hands seeking the girl’s ticklish spots. Rosie swung her stick in response, spouting cheesy phrases she had found in the local pulp adventure magazines. 

They played like this throughout the afternoon until the sun settled on the horizon and threw orange and pink rays across the clouds. Fena gathered the finally exhausted Rosie in her arms and made her way back into the building. She bathed and fed the child as Rosie’s eyes struggled to stay open until finally tucking her into bed. Fena couldn’t help but

pause briefly at the door on her way out, quietly watching the lone girl’s face as she grinned in her sleep. After a moment she stepped away and carefully locked the door to the girl’s soundproofed room. It would be a disaster if the small child wandered into the business section of the brothel, and so her movements were strictly regulated to the employees only part of the building. 

Her quest to keep the infinitely energetic Rosie occupied complete, she made her way back outside to gather the girl’s study materials. As she arranged the notebooks and old textbooks into a neat pile, she heard the fluttering of wings behind her as the Crow landed on the garden’s apple tree. 

“Man, if you did not have that blessing you would have died ages ago to that girl’s energy levels. Seems like the only way to wear her out is to chase her around the garden for hours on end.”

“I won’t lie, sometimes even I can’t keep up,” answered Fena casually.

“Welp, that kind of sounds like a you problem. Still, it's good that she’s happy at least. Or seems to be.”

Fena nodded, not bothering with a verbal response. 

“It was kind of ironic that you decided to be the bear, especially after how you suffered. I almost died laughing watching you stagger about like that.”

“Oh come on, I have to get creative when dealing with Rosie.”

The Crow snorted.

“You call that creative? I call it hallucinatory drunk makes a fool of herself. Still, you seem rather good at that lately. Haha, did you see the look on Monty’s face when you picked her up?”

Fena’s movements suddenly froze.

“That was an accident. I- I lost control.”

The Crow sneered.

“Lost control? Lost control?! What, is that some sort of fucking excuse? You think you can do something like that and brush it off as ‘I lost control’?”

Fena didn’t answer.

“You might be “blessed” but you have a responsibility godsdammit. What happens when you lose control and hurt someone? You’re lucky you weren’t arrested this time.”

The Crow sighed at Fena’s silence.

“3 fucking years you’ve held it together, then you fall apart as soon as a new Blessed is discovered. Did you learn nothing?!”

Fena spun around to face the Crow, a furious sorrow raging on her face.

“How did you expect me to respond? To find out everything I lost was pointless?!”

“Like a godsdamn PROFESSIONAL!” snapped back the Crow. “That’s what you wanted to be right?! Keeping your fucking head down and your emotions in check! That’s how we survive!”

Fena bit her lip, unable to respond. The Crow paused and cocked its head.

“Or maybe that’s not the whole story, is it? Maybe… maybe you actually feel… guilty?”

“Silence,” muttered Fena. 

“Guilty. Oh yes, very guilty. Because you know you won’t go save the new Blessed twins. Because you know it’s actually two kids, not one, don’t you? And, you know what will happen to them. What happened to you. What will happen to you if you try to go save them.”

Fena could no longer look at the Crow. She turned away and muttered under her breath. “Yes.”

The Crow snorted.

“Oh this is rich. Of all people, you care about some random twins you’ve never met? The same person who abandoned a tiny girl in an empty village?”

Fena couldn’t stop her anger rising again.

“I know my limitations! What I can and cannot do!”

“Oh I’m too weak, I can’t protect anyone! Oh I can’t bear to live with the consequences of my own actions!” imitated the Crow in a nasally tone. “Monte was right. You are just full of excuses. If you actually cared, you’d do something about those kids. Or you’d buck up and forget about them. Either way, get your fucking priorities straight.”

“It’s not that simple,” answered Fena through gritted teeth.

“Sure it isn’t. Whatever. I’m done here.” 

With that the Crow hopped onto the ground and started ignoring the still furious Fena. As it did so, the back door of the brothel opened and Madam Isabelle stepped out. 

“Oh, Fena! You’ve already got the notebooks. Thank you for taking care of Rosie; I’m ashamed to admit it, but even after living with her for six years I’m still not good with children.”

Fena shook her head, cleared her thoughts and put a slightly strained smile on her face.

“It’s no issue. We all have to do our part to make sure she grows up safe and happy.”

Isabelle sighed and sat down on the bench.

“Yes. A brothel is hardly an appropriate place to raise a child, but it’s better than sending her off to an orphanage. At least this way she actually knows her mother and we can support her when she grows old enough to move out. I only worry about her social skills; other children will bully her for this.”

Fena shrugged.

“I wouldn’t worry too much about that. The parents of most of the children in this neighbourhood work far worse jobs.”

“I can only hope they agree. Oh, speaking of the neighbourhood have you heard the rumors?”

“That some nobleman was looking for someone?”

“Yes, but they’re not just rumors; one of our guests from yesterday said he was offered a bounty. Apparently it had a 5,000 crown reward!”

“What did he look like?” asked Fena cautiously as her heart rate started to increase again.

“The typical stoic adventurer type. He had silver grey hair, covered in scars; oh, and he carried two swords! Ah, but he was quite a decent fellow; not at all like some of the adventurer thugs we get. You should think about joining him; rewards like that are hard to come by.”

A bead of sweat rolled down Fena’s back. “Did he say who he was after?”

Isabelle shrugged. “You know these types; they like to be brooding and not very chatty. How did your contract go by the way?”

“I was kicked out of the Guild.”

Isabelle looked up at her, shock and concern on her face.

“No! Really? And I thought you were doing so well there!”

Fena gave an empty laugh. “Really I got myself kicked out. I made a stupid mistake, so it’s my fault.”

Isabelle hesitantly reached over and patted her on the shoulder. 

“I’m sorry to hear that. Don’t worry about rent for this month, at least until you find steady work again. Maybe you really should look into this bounty.”

Fena brushed off her hand with a hollow smile. “I appreciate it, but I’m fine. I have some money saved up so don’t worry about the rent. Even without the bounty, I’m sure I can find work elsewhere.” 

“Well, at the very least you could try and convince some of your friends to swing by; business has been down as of late,” answered Isabelle with a sigh. 

“No promises,” responded Fena as she passed Isabelle the notebooks. “Regardless, I’m off to bed. It’s been a long day. Tell Micheal he needn’t bother bringing me supper.”

Isabelle gave her a little wave in response, and Fena made her way back into the building. Passing through the EMPLOYEES ONLY door, she made sure it was tightly locked before making her way up to the second floor via the balcony in the main room. By this time it was starting to fill up, as customers began ordering drinks and entertainment. From the second floor she followed a corridor to its end, where another locked door was found. Behind it sat a cramped and narrow staircase that led up to Fena’s room; a tight attic space that contained nothing but an old bed, a broken mirror, and a very expensive looking travel bag. 

After locking her door Fena stripped as quickly as she could, tossing her weapons and clothing loosely in a corner. She carefully inspected herself in front of the mirror, paying especially close attention to her left wrist. 

Huh. Not a single scar left. This is… wrong.

She quickly shook her head, clearing them of such thoughts before collapsing onto the bed. That was a rabbit hole she was too exhausted to plunge down again. As she closed her eyes, she heard the Crow wriggle its way into the room via a small crack in the window and flutter its way onto the bed. It crawled into a comfortable position beside her, trying to collect as much body heat as it could. 

“Listen...umm… I might have been a-a little...harsh. But it’s because I care about you… you do know that right?”

Fena could only give a brief response before sleep took her.

“Yeah...G’night Fircal”

“My name’s not… ugh, whatever…”

 

Sad news today; our cat went missing several days ago and we found out that she had been hit by a car. I loved her a lot so I was pretty devastated. As a result I haven't been able to write much, so some of the future chapters may be delayed.

Regardless, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. We finally got a tiny bit of insight into Fena's backstory, though that's a can of worms that will take a while to unravel. I also couldn't help but stick in a Witcher easter egg; I was watching the show when I first started dreaming up this story, so it has some influence haha. Hope you guys are enjoying the free entertainment!

 

 

 

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