"Yeah, you weren't really supposed to be two people," Dr Parker shrugged  

I got the feeling Dr Jordan Parker did a lot of shrugging. Great Oaks's head of student accommodation was somewhere in her late 50s, but with the messy hair and bad attitude of a high school slacker. She wore a blazer over a Ramones t-shirt, scattered with crumbs from the bagel she was eating. Her eyes were creased with crows feet. Luisa called them "laugh lines", and said they were proof you had lived a happy life. My mother always said your life couldn't have been that happy, if you couldn't even afford botox.

"That's your explanation?" I said.

She shrugged again. "Guess so. Pass me that brown folder, kiddo."

I hissed and turned to look for it. It wasn't easy. Dr Parker's office was a total mess. Loose papers and overstuffed folders crowded every surface, along with empty coffee cups and, for some reason, a few ashtrays. No way she actually smoked in here, right? The whole room would go up in flames.

"Up there," said Dr Parker, through a mouthful of bagel. I followed her pointing finger to a high shelf.  A brown folder stuck out between a pile of books and a dead pot plant.

"I can't reach that," I said.

Wordlessly, the other Dominic leaned over me and plucked it out. He passed it to Dr Parker, who started listlessly flicking through it.

Dominic Lane — the tall, brown, hot Dominic Lane — hadn't said much since we found out about the room problem. After we dumped our bags in the room, he had been brooding, head down, hands in his pockets. I missed the flirting, if it even had been flirting, but the pissed off silent thing was still kind of doing it for me.

Settle down, I told myself. He's got the same name as you. That'd be so weird.

And you might not even like boys.

"Oh yeah, here it is," said Dr Parker. She spun the folder around to show us. A few errant pages fell out onto the floor, which she ignored. "Check it out. Request for a single dorm. Gender, male. Handicap accessible, no. Student's name, Dominic Lane. Boom."

She moved the request form aside, revealing another one, almost identical, "Same thing. Yada, yada, yada. Dominic Lane. Come on, I thought it was a xerox. How was I meant to know?"

I jabbed a finger at the bottom of the page, "My student ID is right there!"

Dr Parker sighed, "That's 12 digits long. I'm meant to remember all of that?"

"So there's no other room," the other Dominic said grimly.

Dr Parker shrugged again, "Might be something available. There should be a red binder in one of those filing cabinets."

I waited for her to go get it. She took another bite of her bagel.

I rolled my eyes and turned to the other Dominic, "I'll take the bottom drawers if you go top."

"Alright," he said.

I got on my knees a little too early, and had to wait while the other Dominic awkwardly edged his crotch past my head. I kept my eyes focused on the filing cabinet.

"You know, you're gonna need nicknames," said Dr Parker, "Gets too confusing otherwise."

"I don't think that's really our biggest problem," I muttered. The first drawer I opened was full of dusty old magazines. I rifled through them, just in case.

"Do either of you go by Dom?" she asked.

"I do," I said, at the same time as the other Dominic.

"Maybe you could be Big Dom and Little Dom," she suggested.

"Oh, great," I said, "Not condescending at all."

"I don't think that's gonna work," said absolutely-not-Big-Dom.

The second drawer I opened was full of folders, but they were stacked on top of each other, instead of being lined up neatly. I scowled and started unloading them one by one. This was starting to really annoy me. It was bad enough that Dr Parker had messed up our rooms in the first place, but the fact that she had us doing her clerical work for her was nothing short of obscene.

I dumped another folder onto the ground. Seriously, who did she think she was? I had paid — well, my father had paid — good money for a spot at this school, and the least I deserved was some damn respect. Wasn't I entitled to that?

I lifted the last folder. Still hadn't found the red one. I dropped it back in the drawer heavily.

"Careful," said Dr Parker.

I whirled around, almost smacking not-Big-Dom in the groin.

"That's rich, coming from you," I snapped, "You know, if our maid left a room this filthy, we would fire her!"

"Jesus Christ," muttered the other Dom.

Dr Parker raised her eyebrows, "Maybe we call you Mean Dom and Nice Dom."

"Maybe I call my father and ask him to rescind his endowment!" I said.

"Found it," said the other Dom. He held the red folder aloft in one hand, the other still tucked into his hoodie pocket. He handed it to Dr Parker, "Chill out, man. She's just doing her job."

I glared at him as I got to my feet, "Is she?"

"Oof, not looking good," Dr Parker muttered as she flipped through the pages, "Fancy Dom—"

"Absolutely not," I said.

"—Your daddy's donation came in pretty early in the process, so your spot in the regular dorms got reassigned ages ago. And Tough Dom..." she flipped to a different section of the folder, "I gave your original room to someone else, too. Technically, I could send them back to the regular dorms..."

The other Dom shook his head, "I'm not taking that room from someone who actually needs it."

I blinked, "What? No, do that. Take the room. It's your room! Don't take my room instead! No offense, but I'm pretty sure I need my own room more than whoever this random guy is!"

The other Dom glared at me, "You don't know what the fuck you're talking about, man."

"What?" I said, "You're the one who doesn't know what he's talking about, man. You don't know what's going on in my life. Just because I'm not..." I gestured at his ratty clothes, "...poor, doesn't mean I don't have problems."

"Spoiled fucking brat," the other Dom snarled, "Never had anything taken away from you before?"

"You know what?" I snapped, "I haven't! And I'm not starting now!"

"How about Fit Dom and Symmetrical Dom?" mused Dr Parker.

I looked at her, "What? Symmetrical Dom?"

She shrugged, "Cause he's missing a hand. "

Don't stare at him, I told myself as a I immediately stared at him. 

The other Dom's right hand, or I guess the end of his right arm, was still tucked into his hoodie pocket. He rolled his eyes, took it out and gave me a mocking wave.

Dr Parker wasn't entirely correct. He did have a right hand, only it was made of rubber, scuffed and graying. I didn't know much about prosthetic limbs, but his didn't seem great. It was all one solid piece, with no visible points of articulation, and the colour was closer to my skintone than his own.

He tucked it away again and looked at me coldly, "I'm not giving up the room."

Oh, crap. My stomach sunk. So much for not coming across as a rich jerk. I had been at college for twenty minutes and I was already trying to steal a room from a disabled kid.

But... it was my room! I needed it. And if he had made it this far into the conversation without playing the disability card, I sure as hell wasn't going to play it for him.

I glared right back, "Me neither."

"Then I guess you'll have to share until I can work something out," Dr Parker sighed. She perked up, "Hey, there's an idea. You could share the name, too. Dominic. One of you could be Dom, and the other could be Nick."

Instantly the other Dom and I both pointed at each other.

"You're Nick!" I said.

"You're fucking Nick!" he said.

Dr Parker laughed, "Big Dom and Little Dom it is. Enjoy the room, kids."

"That's it?" I said, "How are you not taking this seriously? Don't you realise your job is on the line?"

Dr Parker smiled ruefully, "Oh, kiddo, I accepted I was fired as soon as you two walked in here. I screwed over the rich kid and the handicapped kid? I've just been trying to figure out how I'm gonna tell my wife I lost another job."

She looked down at her half-eaten bagel and sighed, her appetite clearly ruined. She tossed it behind her, almost into the trash can. 

It was weird to see an adult looking so vulnerable. Mother and father never let me see them upset. Angry, maybe. 

I looked at... Nick. He seemed uncomfortable too, although his thick eyebrows furrowed back into a glare when he noticed me looking at him.

"Well..." I said "We don't have to make a big deal out of it. Right?"

Nick raised an eyebrow.

"I mean, we can share a room for a little while," I said, "We're adults. At least, I am."

Nick straightened up, "Yeah. Whatever. We can handle it for a couple days."

"As long as you get things sorted out," I said firmly.

Dr Parker grinned, "Sure. Absolutely. Thanks, kids."

"Alright," I nodded at Nick, "Good?"

"Yeah," he said, "Thanks, Doctor Parker."

Dr Parker blinked, "Who's Doctor Parker?"

"Uh..." Nick pointed at the embossed nameplate on her desk, "You?"

She picked it up and turned it around, "Oh, fuck. Haha. This isn't mine. This belonged to the guy who used to run accommodation. He got fired for sexual harassment like a week into admissions, I had to step up last minute."

Ohhhh. That made a lot more sense. 

"God, I'm so not a doctor," she laughed, "Imagine! Me with a degree. Nah, my name's Lucy Collins. Funny. Anyway, I'll work on getting you another room. It's college, people drop out all the time. Maybe I'll get someone expelled."

"Please don't do that," I said.

Lucy winked, "Sure I won't."

I sighed. I may have just made a really bad decision. 

"I'll send someone down to get your room set up," said Lucy, "And, hey, in the meantime, there is one thing i can do for you."

"Yeah?" said Nick.

"You boys are both eighteen, right?" said Lucy, "So... if you ever need someone to buy you beer..."

I groaned and got up, "I'm going back to my room."

Nick hesitated, then got up too, "I'll keep it in mind."