
“Sorry about that,” Elias says as we arrive in the kitchen. “My friends are dicks… sometimes.” His face is still a little red.
I’m still grinning. His shyness gives me so much confidence and for a moment I want to tell him that but then I decide to keep up my mystique for now. A little turmoil flashes in my stomach region. This is fun.
“I think they’re funny,” I say lightly and watch him mix another drink.
He nods. “They are, most of the time.”
I wonder whether he doesn’t mention what they were trying to achieve on purpose. So he won’t have to put that out in the open, so there’s still a chance. Schroedinger’s rejection or something like that.
I lean against the counter. “Where is your little sister, by the way?” Time to get the conversation back into comfortable fields for him, otherwise it’s gonna be pretty dry for the rest of the night.
“She and my parents are visiting family on the mainland.”
“She’s not old enough to party, is she?”
He shakes his head with a soft giggle. “No. She’s only turning eight.”
A momentary silence ensues because I don’t have any immediate follow-up questions, then he asks, “Do you have any siblings?”
I shake my head. “I wish, but no. I’m an only child.”
“Would you prefer an older or a younger one?”
I shrug. “They both have their advantages, don’t they? The old ones can give you advice where your parents can’t….”
“And the younger ones you can help yourself,” he finishes for me.
I nod my agreement.
He seems mostly comfortable again. The laughter has returned to his eyes. “It’s really a… nice connection. Well, if you put the effort in. So many older siblings want nothing to do with the younger ones.”
He hands me my drink and looks at me expectantly. “Where would you like to go?”
“Where would you like to go?” I raise an eyebrow. “I don’t know the place.”
“There’s a place outside,” he says immediately like he’d been hoping for that question. There’s this contained hopefulness in his eyes. Yeah, cute is definitely the word. “Just on the other side of the wall, it has a really nice view over the hills and the sea.”
“Okay, let’s go there.” I gesture with my drink toward the door so he can lead the way and he does.
The front yard has emptied considerably, now. Everybody’s either on the dance floor or in the backyard. I look at my phone. Close to midnight. People might start to leave soon.
The men are still standing by the gate, a little uselessly. I spotted a few more inside, so they’ll probably come to help when something actually happens. Not entirely useless.
One of them nods at us as we walk past.
My stomach keeps fluttering with excitement as we make our way along the wall until we’re one the other side of where the beer pong table is. We hear the laughter, the music, the cheers whenever somebody scores. I hear Sadie’s voice among them. But they can’t hear us. The noises are muffled by the wall and they can’t see us. The slope is steep here, if you fell you wouldn’t stop rolling uncontrollably for a long time. A small cedar is leaning over the chasm. The roots protrude where a few years ago there must’ve still been earth.
Elias points at the tree. “Is this good enough?”
Where he’s pointing, the roots have formed a bench of sorts, a good enough space to sit. The really amazing thing is the sight from there. This side of the house looks across a mostly wild part of the island. Below us, the hills slope down, covered in gnarled bushes and bent trees until a few kilometres onwards, the sea glistens in the moonlight.
I give him a small smile. “It’s really pretty.”
Again, pride flashes in his eyes and we sit on the roots. There’s not a lot of space so we have to sit close together. I don’t mind, though.
“So, do you come here a lot?” I ask as I lean back to look at the sky. The tree’s branches and needles hang over us in black silhouettes but even through it, I can see the stars. There is a lot less light pollution here than I am used to. The stars are brighter and tighter together. Like they’re happier to shine out here, where there are fewer people watching. Somehow a sentiment I can relate to.
“I used to,” he says. “Before I got a phone.” He chuckles a little.
I act amazed. “What did you even do without a phone? Just run around the island all day?”
He chuckles. “Might be hard to believe but yes. There are a lot of cool places here.”
“Uh huh?”
He nods, holding eye contact. “Yeah. There are some really cool hidden beaches and caves. And, of course, reefs to dive through.”
I take a long sip from my drink. “And how do you spend your time now that you have a phone?”
“I’m still around beaches a lot but….” He shrugs. “Parties? Friends’ houses to hang out.” He pauses and considers me for a moment. “What do you do?”
I shrug. A salty breeze moves my hair and I tuck a strand back behind my ear. It’s cooler now, almost uncomfortable, just sitting here in a crop top and shorts. “Parties, friends… I do parkour.”
His eyes go big. “Parkour?”
I nod with an amused chuckle.
“Can you…” I know what he’s going to say even before he does. “… do a backflip?”
I give him a playful glare. “I do parkour, not flips.”
He raises both his eyebrows. “Excuse me. I didn’t know that was offensive,” he drawls with a grin.
“You’re forgiven,” I say pointedly, then break into a grin.
“What can you do then?” he asks, readjusting himself.
I reach for my phone. “I have…” but then I stop myself because I realise that all the videos Henry took of me were when I was still a boy. Showing him those would give me away. “No videos, unfortunately but… my style is mostly about speed and efficiency. Being fast, jumping far, running up walls….”
He’s looking at me differently, now, I think. “That sounds fun.” His smile has lessened just by a fraction, which doesn’t make his expression seem fake but rather thoughtful.
I lean back onto my hands and look up. I can still feel the buzz of alcohol that makes my head feel all light. “You have no idea. Parkour is… like flying. Taking these big leaps that are technically risky but then not at all because you know what you’re doing… that’s the feeling of being alive and free.” As I look up, for a brief moment, I’m back outside with Henry on a summer night, running, jumping, flying. Suddenly, I remember the way I thought of myself as a machine and it occurs to me how strange the analogy is. I haven’t thought of myself that way in a long time. But then again, I’m also quite different now, aren’t I?
“Wow,” he breathes and I look back at him. The way he looks at me with stars in his eyes – both literally and metaphorically – makes me chuckle.
The sight makes me remember why we are here right now. Because he’s interested.
I grin gently and take another long sip and hold his eyes with mine. This is his moment, now.
He wets his lips nervously. “Can I ask you something?”
I nod and put my glass somewhere behind me. If he’s going to ask me to kiss now, I think I’ll let him. He’s cute and I want to know what it’s like, so where would be the harm?
“How would you ask out a really cute girl?” His eyes that had before been straying away from me as if pulled in by the gravity of his knees meet mine and for a split-second, I halt.
I laugh gently. This feels so easy. Probably because I don’t have any feelings for him and I’m never gonna see him again. Probably because he’s drunk. Maybe because I don’t even like boys?
“What kind of girl?”
But if I didn’t like boys, wouldn’t the idea of kissing him seem strange to me?
He’s finally committed. “The confident kind that likes to travel the world and that does parkour.”
I give an adoring laugh, careful to keep it low and when I meet his eyes after, he’s got this flash of pride again.
“Well, it depends. Does she seem interested in you?”
“Does she?” he echoes.
I give a vague shrug. “I can’t tell you everything, can I? In this entirely theoretical scenario, maybe you’d just have to shoot your shot and take a risk. What’s life without risk, after all?”
He nods slowly, his eyes never leaving mine, this vague smile playing around the corners of his mouth.
“And what do you think, should I ask her out on a date first or is she more of a… kiss now, talk later kind of person?”
I laugh. “Oh, with those hobbies? Definitely kiss now!”
He gives a laugh, too, but his is short and uncertain. Is he really that scared of making a mistake?
He opens his mouth like he wants to ask more questions but at this point, I’ve had enough.
“Dude!” I say, lean in, grab his face a little roughly and kiss him.
It’s different from the kisses I’ve shared with Sadie. His lips are rougher than hers. I feel a light stubble of beard against my lips. It’s still a tender, gentle thing, but it is by no means the same. There’s no meaning to this. I don’t know him. There’s no risk with this. But at the same time, this is nice because I can be so much more confident than I would be with somebody I know.
The confusion in his eyes is perfect for a moment and he goes stiff like a mouse that’s just been caught by a cat and I laugh against his lips. But then he relaxes. He, too, takes my face in his hands and the next time we kiss, he’s the one to move.
We exchange a few kisses like that, then he withdraws. “Does that mean-”
I stop him by touching my index finger lightly against his lips. “Shhh,” I say, still grinning. “Don’t think. Sometimes, you just have to take things in stride.”
He looks like he doesn’t entirely understand what I’m saying but then I lean in again and he does understand that.
Then I feel my phone vibrate next to me and withdraw. It’s Sadie calling me.
Quickly, I pick up.
“Yes?”
“It’s getting late. How much longer will you take?”
Careful not to glance in his direction, I say in a light voice, “I’m ready if you wanna leave.”
“Okay, meet me by the gate.”
With a short tap, I hang up and turn back to the boy next to me. “Wife has called,” I tell him sweetly and revel in the way his eyes go wide. “I need to get going.”
Quicker than he can react, I lean in and give him a peck on the lips, then I get up and grin at him.
“It was really nice to get to know you, Elias. Have a good one.”
As I walk away, joyous giggles bubble in my throat. He won’t forget me. I definitely made a lasting impression. If only every boy’s buttons were this easy to press.
Sadie’s already waiting by the gate and lets out a loud laugh when she sees my grin.
“I take it that means it went to your plans?” she asks as we start our way back home.
I shrug and give her a vague grin. “I suppose so?” I know how badly she wants the details – the look she gives me then is indicator enough.
“Girl!”
I raise my hands in surrender. “Okay, okay! Well, we kissed. I had to do a bit of encouraging because he was a little scared. But he was really sweet. We actually had a nice conversation, which I sort of didn’t expect, but yeah.”
“And how was the kiss?”
Below us, the city is bright with hundreds of little lights. I can see the ships in the harbour, ready for the night.
“It was alright? I think it was fun, mostly, because he was so unsure. But it wasn’t really anything super special.”
Around us, crickets chirp in the brushwork and somewhere, an owl hoots.
Sadie gives me a thoughtful look. “So does that mean that you don’t like guys?”
I shrug. “Not sure. I’m still open to the idea of starting to like guys but I didn’t feel anything special about this one.”
“What would a guy have to be like so you’d consider him?”
I put my head back and let out a long breath. “Well, this is all completely theoretical since I haven’t ever met a guy like that but… he’d have to be confident. And athletic and maybe… adventurous but also grounded enough to keep me in check to a degree? And he’d have to be nice, of course.”
“And you haven’t met anybody like that?” she asks with a curious look in my direction.
“Dude! I barely know a hundredth of the amount of people you know,” I laugh. “Not everybody can live in metropolises and meet all the adventurous people there.”
She shrugs. “I guess.”
For a long while, we walk in silence. My steps still have this light quality to them but my head is starting to feel a little heavy. I can already tell, I’m going to be asleep within seconds the moment I’ve arrived in my bed.
“Who was the better kisser,” Sadie asks suddenly, grinning. “Elias or me?”
“Definitely you,” I snort.
“There’s hope for me yet!”
“….”
“Is it okay if I make jokes like that? Even if I…?”
“I don’t mind.”
he’d have to be confident. And athletic and maybe… adventurous but also grounded enough to keep me in check to a degree? And he’d have to be nice, of course
gotta love it when they don't even realize they're describing their best friend
Yeah, that's not intentional, like, *at all*
Oh, good. I wasn't really interested in seeing Luisa with anybody besides Sadie and/or Henry, so it's nice to not to have to worry about Luisa's feelings about Elias being any sort of serious thing.
GIRL/GIRL ALL THE WAY!