You listen to Fig’s and Dokloram’s passionate exchange of words while you yourself are left lying in the dust like some cheap trinket.
/Talk, talk, talk! Is that all you’re good for?/ You telepathically yell into the brains of Fig, Dokloram, and Gilk for good measure.
“Huh? What did I do?” Gilk asks back annoyed.
/Nothing! That’s the problem!/
“Ergh…” Gilk takes a step back, flabbergasted.
/You stood on the sidelines while two goblins from your village fought to the death! You didn’t help your mentor, despite the fact that Fig told you he had already killed someone even stronger than Doklorim. And you didn’t try to stop the fight, despite the goblin from your village clearly saying he didn’t want to fight!/
/Did you even bother standing watch in case wolves or wargs attacked while these two idiots duked it out?/
/Yeah, I thought so! Do you think you could get to that now that the show is over?/
“Yeah? You’re really going to do that? You’d be so kind? Maybe right this second even, before it’s too late?/
“Y-yes! Absolutely!” Gilk rushes away and climbs the highest rock on the hill. He then lies down on it and observes the surrounding valleys.
/And you two idiots!/ You turn your gaze at Dokloram and Fig, who are both still on the ground. /Mind telling me why are you here?/
“To be on the lookout for a possible attack,” Dokloram says quietly as if he’d just remembered and turns his gaze to the ashes that he’s sitting on while he says so, too ashamed to look up.
/Precisely! To lookout against wargs, wolves, and other vermin that might harm your village! And what the hell were you doing? How long did it take you to beat up a rookie who was already exhausted before the fight even started? And what if Fig had killed you by accident? What if you had done in each other? Were you planning to have Gilk defend the village on his own?/
“Of course not!” Dokloram protests loudly and raises his head to look at you.
/Oh, then you were so confident in your abilities that there was no chance of that happening? Then why are you on your ass right now?/
Dokloram frowns, disappointed in himself, and mutters in defeat, “Because of you.”
“Yeah, no shit! I’m dangerous! Which was exactly what Fig was trying to tell you! And while you were toying with Fig, what if a warg jumped out and ripped Gilk’s throat apart? You’d have the boy’s literal blood on your hands!/
“…” Dokloram says nothing and looks aside again.
/And don’t get me started on you!/ You look at Fig, who’s still lying on the ground. /For all your big talk that was an astonishingly bad performance! Look at Dokloram’s weapon! You should’ve split that thing in half on your first strike if you had any strength in your arms! The fact that I had to not only exchange multiple blows with, but eventually even lose to a weapon that is barely a step above a wooden sword is quite frankly insulting!/
“I’m… sorry,” Fig says barely holding in his tears.
/Oh, you’re sorry? Will you be saying “I’m sorry” to Petunia when Rogzor will be having his way with her? No, you won’t! Because the contents of your skull will be smeared across the ground that Petunia will be violated on!/
“Don’t you dare—” Fig gets angry, but you interrupt him mid-sentence.
/No, don’t you dare fail her! You hear me!? Are you going to fail Petunia?/
“No!” Fig’s answer is firm and strong.
/Huh? Did you say something? I couldn’t hear you over Petunia’s cries for help./
“I SAID I WON’T FAIL HER!!” Fig screams at the top of his lungs.
/You don’t say. Are you sure about that?/
“YES!!” Fig screams and jumps to his feet.
/... "Yes" What?/
"SIR, YES, SIR!!"
/Well… We’ll see what we can do to improve your chances./
Fig’s stance remains rigid for about five seconds before the pain catches up to him and his left leg gives out. He falls on one knee but manages to keep enough balance to remain upright.
/Let’s do something about those wounds first./ You look in the direction of a potential life essence battery. /It’s a good thing that Gilk is a young and energetic lad... Also how long do you plan to let me lie in the dirt like this?/