“We should probably head out soon. With this many men, long distance travel at night is not an option.” Braydon, wearing in his full armour, said to Rhydian. They were both on their horses watching his men get in formation lower down the slope from Cliforge Castle.
“Are you sure that you don’t want any more hugs before you go?” Rhydian joked, over the past week, Mireille had always stayed near him. To the point that even Rhydian was now teasing him about it. Braydon was just glad that she wasn't gripping onto his clothes to prevent him from going off to war.
“No need to be jealous of the attention, I am sure that you have a number of admirers in Heimron who tried even harder to stop you from leaving.” When Braydon said that, a look of repulsion quickly showed on Rhydian’s face before disappearing as fast as it appeared. When news that Rhydian would be accompanying Braydon to Cliforge, a number of the maids were distraught. They tried many means to keep Rhydian there, the stories had been quite the entertainment for Braydon when he heard them from Gerald. He knew that Rhydian was the most popular knight amongst the maids there, but not to that extent.
“Agreed, we should probably leave soon.” Rhydian replied with a neutral expression, but Braydon still smiled a little, it was not often that he got to make jokes at Rhydian’s expense.
As they started moving down the hill, Braydon looked back up to see Nela standing on the castle walls, watching them leave. At first he didn’t see anyone else, if the garrison didn't count as anyone else, but soon noticed a small head poking out from behind Nela. As he waved, Mireille's head quickly shrunk back behind Nela. Even if she did not want to see him go off to war, Mireille still came to see him off, if begrudgingly.
“And you say I’m popular.” Rhydian remarked as Braydon turned back around.
“You are. But who said I wasn’t?”
“How has Steven managed to deal with you for all these years?” Rhydian shook his head at Braydon’s immodesty.
“I pay him.” Braydon said with a smirk, getting another sigh in response to his jokes.
“Travelling with an army is much slower than I remember.” Braydon commented as he and Braydon arrived at the meeting place for the Fiverian armies, seeing several large camps already set up.
“We weren’t exactly rushing to get here, not to mention the Casburland border is pretty far away from your land.” Rhydian was right, travelling with an army was always slower than travelling on their own. The distance was not much further than travelling to the capital from his lands, but even by carriage he could make it to Boshil and back in the same time. Though the roads were definitely better going to the capital than to the northern border. Trade from the north was just not a thing in Fiveria, there were no rivers going directly north and the border was almost completely shared with Casburland. The Leighian league lay to the north west, but they also controlled a significant portion of the land to the west of Fiveria. That western land contained the source of the other major river flowing through Fiveria, so most trade with Leigh still came from the west.
The lack of interaction with Fiveria’s northern rival showed, for the past day there had been no roads to speak of at all. They had been travelling through farmland since morning. ‘At least my territory has roa... Oh, right, I had to have them rebuilt.’ Even after two full generations of neglect, there had been some traces of roads in Cliforge, but there had almost never been a time in Fiverian history where trade was allowed with Casburland, at least nothing long enough to even think of building roads to the northern border.
“Still, isn’t there a lack of men for a war with our nation’s greatest rival?” Although Braydon saw several large camps, most of them flew banners of nobles under Duke Oakley’s faction. There was the occasional camp flying the banner of a neutral noble or someone in the royal faction around the edges, but Braydon was sure that there should be more.
“Don’t underestimate the pettiness of factional disputes. Earl Blake might not even send anyone.” Rhydian replied, not at all shocked at the lack of three of the five major factions.
“Is he stupid? If the line is not held here, it’s his faction that takes the next largest hit from this war.” Even if he could understand Earl Blake not wanting to help either Duke Oakley or King Aled’s factions, the man should have had at least some semblance of survival instincts.
“He probably has already prepared his men but is just not moving them out. The only way I think that you will see his men on the battlefield is if we are losing a pyrrhic battle and he comes to clean up the Casburland forces. So long as everyone else loses out and he is secure, he will be happy.” Rhydian evidently did not have the greatest opinion of Earl Blake, though Braydon could understand that sentiment somewhat. Anyone who could have a son that bad either was an equally bad person or had no part in his upbringing. As they were talking a soldier made his way towards them from one of the camps on the edge of the gathering, just too far for them to see whose banner flew above it.
“Sire, Marquess Burgess has invited you to join him.” The man said, revealing to whom the camp belonged. Braydon could see the King’s camp in the centre of all of the other encampments, but that was out of tradition. The King would always have his camp in the centre of everyone else’s. And in a fight with Fiveria’s biggest rival, Duke Oakley was not going to challenge that now.
“Well, it seems that I finally get to meet the man who managed to have such a brilliant daughter. Rhydian, let’s set up camp over there too. No need for my men to stand around for nothing.” Braydon commented as he motioned for the soldier to lead the way. Rhydian complied, less curious than Braydon about the Marquess. In his time serving Braydon’s father he had met almost every Fiverian noble.
-
Braydon Votes: 22 17.9%
-
Gerald Votes: 4 3.3%
-
Rhydian Votes: 12 9.8%
-
Nela Votes: 51 41.5%
-
Mireille Votes: 32 26.0%
-
Steven Votes: 1 0.8%
-
Other (Say who in the comments) Votes: 1 0.8%
Rhydian; I like how he is kind of that firm foundation for the other, younger characters. He acts as the voice of experience and wisdom, always keeping a clear head. I like down to Earth characters like that and I think he has been very well written.
I love your story but I can’t get my head around how fast people travel? To the capital it took a couple of days while he lives on the border same while going to another country? Now he marches with an army from one side of the border to the other in a few days? Something like all this would take months. I think I know why you do this so you do not write boring travel but... The problem that brings is war is easier because of no usage of supplies? People are fast connected normally a King could not get letters or riders to all his vassals at the same time because of distance. Extra..
I know that it is a problem and I am trying to deal with it but even in medieval times it would not take months to travel across your own country with an army. In 1066, King Harald marched from the north of England, after defeating the Vikings, to London in a week. And Fiveria is also not a perfectly square country with the capital in the centre, so differences in travel time will be there (at least that's the excuse I am going with here). My story is based on medieval Europe instead of absolutely massive places like America or Asia, so distances between places are also much smaller that you would think.
Also a note here, I wrote this part of the story what feels like a while ago but I am pretty sure that I wrote it to take about double the time to the northern border than to the capital. (When a just over a week fells like a while ago.) If I didn't then yeah it would seem a bit out of place.
As for all of the vassals not getting the news at the same time, yeah that didn't happen. Braydon specifically tried to delay going to the north for as long as possible. Hence when he arrived, those who lived closer were already there and those who were in the south (Duke Burn and Duke Ryder had not arrived yet).
And travelling to a different country was fast, specifically because they were travelling by water. Even then it took them just under a week to get to Shuluk, whereas travelling by land to Boshil takes 3 days. It is not exact but travel by water in my world speeds up travel by somewhere around 2 or 3 times compared to land travel.
I hope this clears things up a bit, but please do ask for any more clarifications. I will answer anything that is not important to the plot.
Aled ... honestly i have nothing for respect for the king who inherited a torn kingdom but still remain relatively strong and determined
Not somebody who I was expected, but I guess everyone likes people who can be determined through struggle.
I would have to say Nela is my favorite. Rational, competent woman in a time when women do not have a great role in the running of a kingdom (who those notable exceptions in other chapters). And being able to keep her sense of humor while doing so makes her a stronger character in my opinion.
Braydon is a meathead. I know he's dealing with (neglected) 2nd son syndrome, you've clearly made him not an idiot. You've also given him a pretty steep learning curve. He's getting better, but not as fast as he should be. Which, I'm pretty sure is how you intended it. Whether because he's a battle junky meat head or for comedic affect, I'm not sure yet. Also, thank you for not making Bray an absolute bit*h that panics and screams at everything. Too many stories out there where the MC has hissy fit if a girl gets too close. I just gave up a story this week because the MC was exactly that type. The story was excellent but the MC was too annoying, It's good that he knows Nela totally out classes him and is trying to learn from her (and that he should try harder).
Mireille has potential that you are wasting. As they said in the other comments, she has the personality of a doorknob at the moment. Nela should be molding her personality. As a clean slate, Mir should be mimicking Nela or the servant girl/cook. And then building her own identity on top of that. You've already set her up with intelligence, observational skills, and a razor tongue - build off that. Just my suggestion.
@mandark is right about the other characters are good and well written but are just regular people going about their daily lives with no real spice to them.
Thanks for the chapter!
It has to be Nela, besides Rhydian, she’s by far the most competent person in the story. Braydon is pretty good for a non-reincarnated person, at least, he doesn’t have a chip on his shoulder as you’d expect from a medieval-ages lord. The fact he can easily take advice/criticism makes him a good character. With that said though, without Nela, Braydon wouldn’t be in the position he’s in.
Gerald isn’t bad, but he’s not unique enough to be a “favorite” for me (same with Steven/the priest/all supporting characters - they aren’t badly written but they aren’t unique). Mireille has the personality of a doorknob (hopefully she gets better). At the moment I feel like the author is trying to shoehorn Mireille as the main love interest when by all rights it should be Nela.
I do like this story, refreshing to not read a reincarnation story... especially since most ‘reincarnation’ seems to be just an excuse on bypassing the protagonists childhood, making them an instant/intelligent adult. However the protagonists rarely ever act like modern people, instead, they take modern knowledge and mix it with ancient brutality.
Yeah, I kinda realised that that was happening with Mireille's personality. I have something planned for her in the future but before that point she is kinda just a vase that I don't know what to do with.
I would try to make her cute but... she is literally an amnesiac. Not to mention I am not good at writing an intentionally cute character.
@Darkwood I don't know how real life amnesiacs are, I'd guess there is a wide spectrum depending on how severe the trauma was.. but if she was a smart person before (either high IQ, or just really gregarious), her character should be curious.
Just throwing ideas out there, maybe she has high IQ and during the meetings she makes out of the box suggestions. Not that she has to be right or make good suggestions 100% of the time (since she's still learning from Nela) but something to show she's engaging the situations. Reversely, maybe she was a real people person. Then she could make insightful quips about personnel to Braydon as they expand their officers/ministers.
Btw, what I said about Gerald and the other supporting characters was not a negative. To say nothing of the time they're living (their 'world' is a lot smaller than ours so how dynamic could they reasonably be?), most people today aren't unique in the sense that they'd stand out - people are just living their lives.
Nela, il vero cervello del gruppo, una versione femminile di Armand-Jean du Plessis de Richelieu
maybe the father of nela want to marry with the mc? well is just a joke he have a territory in the other side of the kingdom and he make a hard work for expand and make grow that so he don´t gonna abandon his new home for annything
Thanks for the Chapter and first to comment
I like Rhydian’s humor
@Gummtree funny characters are good but the ones who are straight-laced being funny once in a while are great