Boys vs. Girls – Water Fight


Art by MysticSwordsman

Part 1 - We Are So Screwed

Runt's quivering, shrill voice echoed, "What are we gonna do?! They just got our commander with a water balloon assault! We're doomed!"

Flannel flashed his large hand, which looked more like a high schooler's than someone in sixth grade, over Runt's mouth. It completely muffled all but a faint, fearful murmur from him. Leaning close, Flannel said, syllable by methodical syllable, "Shut…up."  

With a loud swallow, Runt clenched his mouth closed and barely seemed to breathe as Flannel slowly released him from his grip.

I, "Tuna" by codename, looked to Flannel and wondered if I should take this as a gesture that he wanted to lead the group. Unfortunately, Flannel glanced over at me and asked, "Orders?"

The balloon assault which had claimed Krait, our commander, came out of nowhere. I shuddered about how close I had been to the action.

The battle began fairly. We were properly-equipped and ready to set up our initial defense. But that first strike came fast. Their snipers splashed the trees all over to the point we had no idea where the attack was coming from. They'd already taken out our exposed second sniper, Mustard.

I expected Krait to curse losing a man so quickly in the struggle, especially a sniper who could provide cover. But he just watched with a strange serenity as Mustard was converted to the other side by the water strike.

Instead of a lanky boy with a buzz cut of neon-yellow hair and the blue shirt of the boy's side, a girl with shoulder-length hair of the same color and a shirt shifting pink picked up her sniper rifle and dashed through the trees.

According to the rules of engagement, we weren't allowed to strike back on any recent converts until they joined their base. Still, I primed my squirt gun.

Krait was the oldest of us, nearly in high school. He was seasoned and smart. When he spoke an order or outlined a strategy, we all automatically listened up. And he made us all better with his presence, even Runt.

Runt whimpered in place of his frantic words. Flannel gave him a look but did nothing further before repeating, "What are your orders?"

I leaned back and said, "I need the whole troop…"

Goat, nearby with Rubber, scratched at his immense nose and said, "Yeah, easier target to hit in one place. Get this over with…"

I knew he had a point. Whale was our last sniper, so it was better to have him off in the higher trees where he could watch our position. I tried not to sound like I was changing my mind as I announced the five, minus Whale, would be enough.

Quickly, I assessed what our remaining resources were. Rubber and Flannel had the waterproof shields and a good number of balloons. Runt had the special water tank near him for ammo. The creek where we made our camp stretched around the area and looped through a small valley and to some dense trees where I assumed the girls had made their camp.

We all had fully-loaded squirt guns. Flannel and I both also carried the heavy soakers. And then Whale's sniper shooter, while heavy, probably wouldn't need refilling for a while.

I signaled to Whale, with the hand signals Krait had set up, to stay in position. For everyone else, I looked around and bided time till I could think of a good response.

This was Runt's first action. He was the shortest of us. His blond hair looked like someone had planted an over-sized wig on his head. He always had to fuss with it or brush it back when he turned. I knew he wouldn't be much of a shooter.

Flannel, I remembered from last time. He kept his arms folded in front of him in perpetual annoyance. His brown hair was clinically-short on his lean head. It had that bit of rough fuzz which apparently reminded someone of flannel when they were last giving out names. Still, I knew that Flannel bled the blue of the boy's side and could be counted on in a heated fight.

I couldn't make quite the same assumption of Goat. The unflattering name came from how much blame he got in the last loss for letting good shots go and even dropping squirt guns time and again. Krait countered that by making Goat recon. Since we were undermanned now, I had to rethink that.

I eyed the way Goat's slick, black hair kept poking up like horns in the back. I really doubted Goat was a turncoat. It would be just too obvious with his ineptitude. Nah, I was convinced that Goat just really didn't want to be here. The way Goat stared at the grass told me that too.

At least Whale was serious. The big guy, with just a bit of layered black fuzz on his head, looked especially old for a sixth-grader. He didn't say much but I knew from his gun-loving parents that he knew how to aim and shoot in the forest. So long as Whale did that, I was fine with giving him as much autonomy as he needed.

And last in the ditch was Rubber. Owing from the giggle he gave whenever he said his name, I was sure that Rubber knew well the euphemism, despite the fact Krait just gave it to him based on how he seemed to constantly bounce on his legs. He had a lot of energy, especially just sitting there waiting. He looked around. He fussed and chuckled to himself, as though telling internal little jokes. His dusty-red tangles of hair seemed to shift all over with his every breath. He gave me ideas.

Flannel gave a quiet cough at the long span of silence as I looked over my men. I made sure not to respond instantly to Flannel's noise, but I did give him a look. Krait told me that it was important for a commander to show control but not unrelenting harshness.

When I was ready, I issued my plans.

"Whale will watch our flank side. Rubber, when I'm done, you tell Whale to watch and patrol every few minutes. After that, you'll be on recon, advancing from the side Whale isn't watching. Flannel will trace your steps and watch your back. I'll explain the path later. Goat and I will keep the middle. Runt is waterboy in back of the middle."

Runt blanched but managed a nod. The tank was heavy, but it offered Runt some safety where he could refill quickly in a firefight and it gave him the routine of refilling from the stream. There were really no good places to put Goat, so I figured right beside me would keep him honest. Rubber had the energy to dash and check. I could tell Flannel wasn't too pleased with his position, but it was better than using Goat to protect anyone.

With Rubber dashing off with my orders and Goat slumping his shoulders, I surveyed the landscape. This forested area adjoining Brookville Municipal Park had some work done to it long ago when there was talk of putting in trails. It meant some cleared areas but mostly there were a lot of low plants for cover.

Cracking his neck, Goat asked, "So, you're in charge now?"

I just nodded. I could say that Krait left me in charge or try to justify it, but I didn't have to. Goat snorted and said, "Whatever. So, I gotta follow you now?"

The lingering temptation to strap Goat with tack-rigged balloons to walk into the other camp returned to me. I pumped my weapon and said, "Yeah. Or you can walk across the field and offer yourself up to the girls."

Goat huffed and muttered, "I'm not a fucking turncoat…"

Flannel tightened his eyes at Goat. "Not what I hear from last time…"

I held up my hand and drew it into a fist. "The plans are set."

Rubber hurried back with a big thumbs up. "Whale is cool. Just show me the path, bro."

I nodded and traced a clearing through the trees which provided a good route for scouting. Rubber's head bobbed along with his eyes. He grinned before saying, "Cool. Let's get our commander back and really show them." Goat just sighed.

I felt bad about leaving Runt alone at the back, so I lingered by him as the others started to get into place. This didn't help, as Runt responded to my presence by clutching the water tank as best as he could with his small arms. He popped the top and glanced inside before saying, "Water still…good…sir. Uh, I mean water still good, sir!" He almost threw in a little salute. I couldn't help but feel a smile for Runt.

Before I left him, I made sure he knew how the purification and nanite-infusion systems worked. Just putting water from the stream into the tank wouldn't be enough. He nodded far too many times and said, "I read up…a little bit. Hope that's okay."

I gave Runt a pat on the shoulder which nearly crumpled his knees. After standing up fully, he brushed his long hair back and primed his squirt gun. He looked as ready as I'd ever seen him.

I made sure both my squirt gun and super soaker were primed and ready as I slipped their straps around each shoulder and met up with Goat. Goat's footsteps dragged as we walked. The arrangement was such that I could just see Runt behind me and the others in front. Whale would be far enough away so as to be visible behind a far tree.

It seemed like a good arrangement. I took a couple of breaths and advanced with the lead group. We'd attempted this last time, but the girls hit so hard and fast that we couldn't get properly organized. I felt a bit surprised they hadn't done that again.

That worried me. I held up and pointed both my weapons in different directions with my fingers on the triggers. Goat yawned and barely had a grip on his. On a whim, I bent my super soaker and splashed Goat in the face with a thin blast. He sputtered and everyone behind and in front of me froze. I gave the "all-clear" hand signal.

Goat brushed back his now-dripping slick hair and glared as he growled, in a tone which Krait would consider insubordination, "What the hell?!"

I primed my soaker again, glad that I hadn't used too much ammo. "You looked like you could use a little wake-up." He brushed the water away from his eyes and leaned against the nearest tree. I thought I saw a spider web span between that one and the next but the shadows were too dark to tell for sure.

Turning his head, Goat muttered, "I'm awake, dammit…what more do you want from me?"

His question invited words from me, so I gave them. "A little involvement would be nice. This may not mean anything to you but it sure means something to us."

Brushing at his nose, Goat snorted, "I know what's at stake. I'm not game for the consequences of losing. And I'm not working to make it happen. I just hate this. I hate this forest. I hate having to haul shit everywhere and play soldier. I'm sick of it. I wanna go home!" He kicked the tree for emphasis.

I let my guns rest. I could see Runt trudging slowly over the small mound behind us with his tank but I kept my gaze on Goat as I told him, "Fine. Go ahead and hate it all. But take that feeling out on the other side…not us. We're your teammates."

Goat's hand dropped along the tree. "But you're not my friends. I'm just here because…you know. I don't get why you called me over to the team meeting. I don't get why I have to stand in formation. So I can be another duck in a row, huh? I'll take the blasted gun and be like Whale. Leave me alone and I'll watch my own shit."

I slapped my hands against my azure pants as I felt my tolerance waning. "Fine. Go then."

Goat didn't need to be told twice. He turned from me and started to walk away. It was at that moment a small breeze caught a few leaves above and a sparkle of light glittered through what I had thought was a bit of spider web.

I was wrong.