What was once three, had now become four, and Snooze was soon settling down to the new normal. A term that had lost all original meaning considering that interested parties would be keen to observe it contained an immortal god that was still wet behind the ears, an mostly-all-knowing sentient plant podium, a protective beast made out of pink energy and whistles, and a tiny little starfish-being that seemed too excited about its role for anyone’s own good.

 

Snooze had decided that the Seed of Life would be best kept at arm’s length for the immediate future, and bid Odd, the newest member of her growing collection of Archangels, to hang on to it until it was needed. Odd, of course, was more than happy to just be included, and did precisely as it was asked. It gleefully stuffed the Seed of Life back into whatever cosmic pocket it seemed to have, and cartwheeled away from Snooze while giggling.

 

“Such an interesting little character,” Snooze remarked, watching as the little star-shape disappeared into the distance, only to return a little while later limping.

 

“What happened, Odd?” Snooze asked.

 

“Cartwheels,” was Odd’s only response, and continued to limp off sadly until it arrived where Meat stood, and slowly climbed up onto the rosy Archangel’s back and lay down and began to snore.

 

Snooze just chuckled and shook her head. She had a feeling that the inclusion of this new member of their group would make things very intriguing. 

 

While it was painfully obvious the Snooze had a new facet of godhood that she needed to begin work on--namely the creation of an afterlife (whatever that involved), she still had so many questions about things that she needed the answers to. The little god resolved that she wouldn’t continue down the path of growth and creation until she had sufficient answers and grown more knowledgeable about the aspects of her existence that were still a mystery to her after so many countless millennia. So, this meant that the Book of Leaf was now burdened with the insurmountable task of sating Snooze’s new-found appetite for learning.

 

So far, she’d discovered that Meat and Book had been able to meld their forms simply because they’d tried to do it. The Archangel had an unquenchable desire to find his god, and the Book of Leaf knew that they could cover more areas and find out more information if it came along for the ride. Being able to speak through Meat was something they’d discovered by accident when they’d been scouring a village near the western sea. A cart had sped by them in the street, nearly running the conjoined being down and Book had called out “slow down you damned fool!”

 

Snooze also learned that they had found the Book of Leaf: Travel Edition in a temple in the capital of the Wulket, where it had remained as a source of mystery and the primary symbol of the religion that had sprung up in the nation. There, they learned that the chiefs of the religious orders had been creating simulated versions of the Travel Book to fool their followers into believing they’d tapped into the divine source. They truly had no connection to the original Travel Book, according to Book, which caused Snooze’s wheels to turn.

 

“Wait,” she said, interrupting the Book of Leaf for the thirty-sixth time, a fact that was causing the informational source no end of increasing frustration. “But, the fake Book reacted to me. It spoke to me.”

 

She was referring of course to the instance of warning inside Rekvahn’s tower, where the cosmic tool had given her a message to run. How could that have happened, she wondered, if there was no connection.

 

WE RECEIVED NO INDICATION THAT YOU HAD BEEN CONTACTED BY ANY SOURCE. THIS IS NEW INFORMATION.

 

“Yeah, well, it was really messed up. It was all spooky letters and doomy warnings, and it gave me a real bad vibe.”

 

 THAT MAY BE SOMETHING WE ENDEAVOR TO DISCOVER THE NATURE OF IN THE FUTURE, THOUGH IT MIGHT BEHOOVE US TO BE CAREFUL.

 

“Aww, are you scared, Book? I’ll protect you.”

 

Snooze flexed her miserly bicep and winked at the pedestal.

 

FEAR IS NOT SOMETHING I AM PRONE TO EXPRESSING. HOWEVER, I DO HAVE CONCERN FOR WHAT COULD HAPPEN WERE WHATEVER CREATURE EXECUTED SUCH PEERLESS FEATS WERE TO BECOME AWARE OF OUR MEDDLING AND TAKE ISSUE WITH IT.

 

“But, it was there to help… I think? Wouldn’t it be more likely that it would potentially want a chance to be a real bro and assist us?”

 

PERHAPS. THOUGH, ANYTHING THAT COULD BREAK THROUGH THE CONNECTIONS LIKE THAT TO FIND YOU, AND REPURPOSE MAGIC TO ITS OWN ENDS SHOULD BE TREATED WITH CAUTION. EVEN IF IT BELIEVES THEIR OWN PURSUITS TO BE BENEVOLENT, IT COULD BE OF A DISEASED MIND. 

 

IT IS ALWAYS BEST TO KEEP A FAIR DISTANCE UNLESS YOU KNOW WITHOUT A SHADOW OF A DOUBT THAT YOU WILL BE ON THE WINNING SIDE.

 

“That’s an extremely pragmatic outlook, Book,” Snooze said. “I’m more hopeful.”

 

YES, AS YOU MENTIONED, YOU ARE THE ETERNAL OPTIMIST.

 

“Comin’ atcha!” Snooze said, and executed a few kicks in the air.

 

I AM UNSURE OF WHY YOU CHOSE TO ENTERTAIN THAT MODE OF EXPRESSION.

 

“Oh, uh…” Snooze said, smiling sheepishly. “Sometimes I feel like if I don’t do or say the thing that is in my head, I will die.”

 

SNOOZE, HAVE YOU EXHIBITED ANY SIGNS OF STINKY BREATH OR HIVES LATELY?

 

“Nah, I got this wicked bruise earlier though when I was trying to do somersaults with Odd. Why?”

 

NO REASON. WAS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU WERE INTERESTED IN LEARNING?

 

“Ooh! Yes! Um, letsee… alright, Book, who is my fourth Follower?”

 

I FIGURED THAT WOULD BE OBVIOUS, SNOOZE.

 

“Nope, not even a little. You’re an all-knowing information center--”

 

NEARLY.

 

“...right, a nearly all-knowing information center, and I am just a loveable rogueish heroine, remember? What may seem obvious to you, might take me a few.”

 

VERY WELL. I SHALL ILLUMINATE YOUR UNDERSTANDING. YOUR FOURTH FOLLOWER IS… UNIQUE. IT IS YOUR PLANET.

 

“What? Really! That’s super cool! Oh man, bet that’s never happened in the history of ever!”

 

IT WOULD APPEAR THAT YOU ARE CLOSE TO CORRECT. IT IS NOT SOMETHING THAT HAPPENS OFTEN.

 

“Oh, shoot,” Snooze said, staring at the floating orb of terrestrial representation not far away. “I should probably name her, huh?”

 

IT WAS THE WISH OF THE PLANET THAT YOU PROVIDE A NAME.

 

“Let’s put a pin in that for the moment, I want to know some more info about stuff.”

 

YOU ARE, AS ALWAYS, QUITE VERBOSE, SNOOZE.

 

“Well, verbose to you too ole chum!”

 

Snooze wrinkled her brow, thinking, and placed a finger on her chin as she dove deeply into the recesses of her mind to try and remember that which she so desperately wanted to unlock the secrets of.

 

“How much do you know about the bureaucracy of the celestials?”

 

I KNOW A GREAT DEAL, MOST OF WHAT KNOWLEDGE I POSSESS HAS BEEN INFLUENCED, IN SOME FASHION, BY THEY WHO ARE THE POWERS-THAT-BE. WHAT DO YOU WISH TO KNOW?

 

“I want to know how everything is organized. Like, what is the hierarchy like, and how things are divided up. Xolt is apparently the chief administrator of the… quadrant? I want to know what that’s about. Is that something I can eventually get to do… if I want to?”

 

EXCELLENT QUESTIONS, SNOOZE. I AM SURPRISED YOU ARE SHOWING AN INTEREST IN THIS ASPECT OF GODHOOD. IF YOU’LL RECALL, I HAD TRIED TO EDUCATE YOU ON SOME OF THESE MATTERS BEFORE, BUT YOU, AND I QUOTE, ‘WOULD RATHER EAT FLY PAPER THAN HEAR SOMETHING SO BORING.’ THEN, I RECALL IN PARTICULAR YOU WANTED TO KNOW INSTEAD, WHICH OF YOUR FORMER CLASSMATES YOU ‘TOTALLY COULD HAVE HOOKED IT UP WITH’ IF YOU’D ASKED.

 

“It seemed like important information to know,” Snooze said, frowning. “Besides, I suppose I was being a bit short-sighted before, but now this information might actually have consequences for me. Something absolutely jacked up is happening with Xolt. I mean, I Banished him once, and he was able to return. How does THAT work?”

 

UNLIKELY.

 

“What do you mean, ‘unlikely?’ I for real Banished him in the Fraternal Order of the God Worshippers or whatever, and he came back.”

 

SNOOZE, AS AN ADMINISTRATOR, YOU NEVER WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO BANISH HIM, NOT WITHOUT A MUCH MORE ADVANCED VERSION OF YOUR BANISHMENT SPELL. HE IS CHIEF ADMINISTRATOR OF THIS QUADRANT OF THE COSMOS, AND AS SUCH, IS IMPERVIOUS TO BANISHMENT. PERHAPS YOU JUST SCARED HIM OFF?

 

Snooze thought about that. She may have just told him to skedaddle, or something similar. He hadn’t disappeared like the others, he’d instead run away. It was possible she misunderstood what had actually happened. All the more reason, she thought, that she should learn as much as possible, so she wouldn’t be caught naked in the rain again.

 

“Okay,” she said, beginning again. “Regardless, what’s that about? What’s a Chief Administrator?”

 

IT IS, AS IT HOPEFULLY SOUNDS. XOLT IS --OR RATHER-- WAS, THE PRIMARY CONTROLLER OF THIS AREA, I SUPPOSE HE WILL NEED TO BE REPLACED CONSIDERING IT IS HIGHLY UNLIKELY THAT HE WILL BE ABLE TO CONTINUE UNDER THAT MANTLE AFTER SUCH A BALEFUL ACT. GOING AGAINST THE WISHES OF THE UPPER ECHELON IS NOT SMART, EVEN IF YOU HAVE FAVOR. 

 

“So, he’s in, what, like a god prison or something?” The idea of that conjured up images of Xolt being forced to listen to inane prayers from the most boring people, or performing equally tedious miracles like being strong armed into ensuring a bountiful harvest over a single tomato crop. Snooze couldn’t begin to guess what a god might be fittingly punished with, and it was doubly so for Xolt. 

 

If it was me, they could just trap me in a room where I’m forced to listen to amateur podcasts with ‘fresh’ perspectives. Yuck, I’ll just take the guillotine, thanks.

 

...and so the Book of Leaf set about explaining the general idea of the Celestial Bureaucracy to Snooze.

At the top, were the Upper Echelon, the Powers That Be, the Big Kahunas, et cetera. They were enigmas, wrapped in mystery, wrapped in a riddle, wrapped in clandestine-flavored waffles, and dipped in a syrup of secrets. None knew who or what they really were, save that they had their own Disciples, and those Disciples were many and varied. 

 

The Disciples doled out the express opinions, missives and general memos that the Powers That Be (PTB) had to relay to the rest, though, they were largely inconsequential to the general goings on of the Order of the Cosmos.

 

That really happened at the stage below. Underneath the PTB were the MGMT, always those four letters, Book explained, and never pronounced. They set about with all of the various instructions and protocol, the mundane day-to-day, or rather aeon-to-aeon. Their time frame seemed to work with longer spans of time. The MGMT were that which were the final word (other than the Powers That Be, of course) but in most instances, if you really goofed up, you’d be answering to them.

 

Below the MGMT were four different departments: the Justicar, who were something of the official policing force of the celestial world, and were tasked with maintaining order; the Eyes, which spent a great deal of time watching and waiting to keep track of everything; the Seraphim, who were the ones tasked with sending out Archangels and other effects; and then of course there was Data Entry.

 

The Book of Lead spent a long time explaining so many of the aspects of the Celestial Order that she began to grow bored and stopped paying attention. Though, she was able to discern that “Chief Administrators,” were still relatively middle-of-the-pack. 

 

Not nearly high enough to warrant respect (in her eyes), but also not near the bottom. The perfect middle managers. There was a mighty wave of them, all divided up into their sections of the cosmos (of which there were seemingly endless), and it just so happened that Xolt’s position was conveniently in charge of her little scratch of belonging.

 

“When will we know if they replace Xolt?” Snooze asked.

 

IT STANDS TO REASON THEY WOULD LIKELY REPLACE THE PREVIOUS CHIEF ADMINISTRATOR AFTER A ROUND OF INTERVIEWS. THESE THINGS CAN TAKE TIME, SO WE MIGHT NOT MEET THE NEW ONE FOR A WHILE.

 

“Well, whenever they show up, I’d like to meet them--really win them over to our side, you know?” Snooze mused idly, imagining riding in bumper cars with the new Chief Administrator who also wore sunglasses and had a blue leather jacket with a picture of a cheetah in a convertible on it.

 

I AM SURE THAT ONCE THE SELECTION IS MADE, THEY WILL INTRODUCE THEMSELVES.

 

“Well, thank you for explaining all of that to me, Book! I feel enlightened and whole, armed with this new knowledge. Anyways, next I’d--”

 

HMM…

 

Snooze sputtered, having been interrupted--sort of-- by the display populating with new text.

 

“What is it?”

 

I KNOW IT MAY BE TOO SOON FOR YOU, SNOOZE.

 

The Book of Leaf paused, and then after a moment, continued, as if deciding whether or not to actually reveal whatever it was that it was thinking of.

 

BUT, THERE SEEMS TO BE SOMETHING THAT MAY NEED YOUR GUIDING HAND.

 

“Well, spill the beans, shy boy!”

 

IT APPEARS YOUR FOLLOWERS ARE TRYING TO CONTACT YOU.