Ch. 53 – Death For Everyone
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If you could list all of the expected outcomes in the great and terrible multiverse, you would, as they say, “in the biz,” have an easy time. This is because every manifestation of every outcome of every fractional second of existence plays out in some direct fashion in one way or another. This, of course, qualifies only for those who are not of a celestial--or also--fiendish variety (and some of the other sorts that we have yet to touch on), but that is still a large margin of happenings. Even the most unlikely imaginings of a depraved mind can and will come to pass given enough time and the right circumstances. In fact, many of them have already come to pass.

 

For instance, if you consider Earth-- in one iteration, a pigeon was elected as the Prime Minister of Australia. Though her policies were incomprehensible and confusing, they were considered a tremendous improvement from the “last guy.” Another version has the entire human race as servants to a being known as the Great Larry. Unbeknownst to the denizens, the Great Larry was actually a malfunctioning supercomputer that only played the summer hits of the ’90s. Still, everyone is much happier than they were before its arrival.

 

One more curious event happened on… another Earth. Perhaps, you shouldn’t hear about this as it can lead to some… intensity. Oh, I don’t see the issue. 

 

What? 

 

Yes, of course, it could… well, it’s not GOING to, is it? 

 

No, this is a simple story. 

 

Fine. If you’re so concerned, you can review. 

 

No, there will be no consent to a detector. This is not the point of this stor--anyway. Where were we?

 

Ah, yes. Manifestations. 

 

In one, there was a very odd occurrence indeed. A sinkhole erupted in the center of the Baltic Sea that was so large it swallowed up hundreds of cities and created a new underground fraction of humanity. These are not to be confused with the peb, as we’ve mentioned before, and in fact, you should forget all about knowledge of the existence of those particular instruments of 

 

[ERROR]

 

[INFORMATION REDACTED]

 and just a little bit of butter, salt, sugar, and a heaping teaspoon of red-hot active plutonium. Isn’t baking fun?

 

Hm.

 

Something seems off with the narrative.

 

Is it?

 

Did you notice anything strange?

 

Never mind, it’s likely something unimportant. Honestly, how often is essential information left out of a narrative? Hardly ever. Unless, of course, it is meant as a plot device. Curious.

 

The entirety of the diatribe about likelihoods, manifestations of existence, and quantum-thermal culinary courses was to stress the incredibly problematic issue with celestials and their kind. Not from a moral or ethical standpoint--no, that is a tale for another time-- but from a statistical vantage. The multiverse is a place of true, abject probability, and as we’ve discussed, almost all things that can happen do happen somewhere. For one such as Snooze--chance is much less a factor of when and more concerning the if

 

You cannot assume that anything that happens to a god can be deduced with pristine certainty. They are wily. They are chaotic. And, they are the only ones. A god can not exist in conjunction with its other manifestations. This will be explained later, so do not fret. All of this is boiled down to say that not one Watcher On The Rim, nor number-crunching Book, Scroll, Tome, or other could have reasonably assumed that Snooze would activate her Death Curio in a void, under duress, while facing down Runcinated 8-demicubes with two Archangels and an inactive god life companion. Not even the Dread could have procured that analysis. And that is special. Using that particular Curio under those precise controls created an expectation

 

What happens when an unstoppable force crashes against an immovable object? Reality changes.

 

Because of this, the moment that Snooze activated the Curio, probability went out the window. When the first Runcinated 8-demicube struck the barrier of pure Death that the little god had forged, there was a ripple. A crack began to appear, and at first, Snooze thought it was just in her strangely-hewn wall of Death. But no, as the gap grew, it spread from the confines of the Curio’s creation. It grew up and down, spanning the entirety of the wall before moving into the void itself.

 

This was alarming, and Snooze made to stop her god spell but found that it was no longer within her control.

 

That is the nature of Curios. The less skill the wielder has with it, the stronger it is on its own. Willful little wains, those. Snooze could no more unsummon the power than she could fit into a medium-sized baseball cap back in her old life. 

 

The crack grew and began to expand even further, rippling out through the void and along the many channels of dimensions as it did. When one of the advancing demicubes hit the fissures, they would pause, and more cracks would emerge from their union. Things were readily getting out of control, with poor Snooze, Meat, and Odd on the receiving end of the “big-time yikes” predicament.

 

Snooze was preparing to shout to Meat to fly in any direction away from the cracks, but that was when several things happened at once. A warm sensation began to blossom in her pocket, and she felt to the spot where… what was that there again? She wondered. Whatever she’d placed in there was warming like it had spent hours in front of the fireplace. Additionally, the Scroll of Currents whirred back to life, flashing with intensity. But most concerning was that everything seemed to freeze in position as the original crack--the one from the Death shield-- shattered, revealing a massive, fifty-foot crevasse. Snooze felt her breath catch in her throat as anxiety filled her again, her hair standing on end.

 

Inside the hole was a gigantic, glowering eye.

 

“Mommy!” Odd suddenly screamed.

 

Snooze suspected that this was not, in fact, its mother. It roared.

 

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