2.1 A Loser Has a Troubling Encounter
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'You may be wondering how I got here!’ or something like that. Right now I am sitting on the cold dirt outside of a giant cave as a dragon sits before me. After about 4 hours I'm running out of stories I can tell without it's eyes glazing over. After the dragon came out of the cave it gave me an ultimatum- “entertain me and die quickly later to die painfully now”. As you can tell I picked the first one. 

But, soon it’ll give up and eat me. That’s what it said anyway. I’m going to die. I am going to die. I think…

“I was thinking-” the dragon blinked, bored, as I stopped my shitty re-telling of the plot of Blade Runner. As the monster watched in mild curiosity I unfurrowed the leaf I had been holding. This was my food, at least what I would call food. I had made some sort of a plan all this time while dryly regurgitating the media I like at this thing. “Do you know what this is?” I said while holding up a mushroom from the pile.

That is the lady mushroom, it's poisonous. Why do you have a thing like that?” It responded, squinting.

I took a large bite from the mushroom. Now it was the master of the silent forest’s turn to stare bug eyed with an open jaw. 

You can't do that, spit it out! If I eat you now I'll get poisoned as well!

The dragon yelled this at me, a cloud of smoke blasting into my face. I looked at the mushroom with a smug look.

Well good, I didn't want to be eaten. 

“Well then, then you can’t eat me.”

The dragon hesitated. It seemed to think about this idea while looking me over. It met my eyes again and squinted. 

I do not wish to free a meal as delicious as yourself. I hath not tasted of fattened meat since whence my water began eating. I will wait until the lady takes your movement and leaves your body to eat of you to my heart’s content.” 

It slithered around me, cordoning me off from any route of escape.

So, here’s the deal: 

The dragon was getting sleepy so I’ll just wait it out till it falls asleep while waiting for me to die of the poison. After all, regardless of how long it takes for this thing to figure me out I’m still going to win in a waiting game.

If only I didn’t have to feel like shit while doing it.

But, before that...

The body of the dragon disappeared into a sudden wall of smoke. I stood up from where I was sitting in surprise. To me it seemed that the entire body of the master of the silent forest suddenly disappeared like Houdini.

Before I could even react a black streak struck out through the dissipating straight at me. I felt a stabbing pain and the world went dark.

 

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