Kyoko had run for so long now.

Running away from... whatever the hell all those creatures were. They had seemingly taken over the entire grocery store, hypnotizing everyone inside, but... to what end? And more importantly... how?

She really wasn’t interested in sticking around to find out for herself.

Instead, she had run all the way back to the fort to make sure that Madoka and Makoto were safe. That was the first time she had run like that in... a long time, so.... geez she was tired....

She flung open the door to the fort and shouted, “Madoka! Makoto! Are you okay!!!”

Her wife and daughter were sitting on the couch watching TV and barely took notice of her existence.

“Guys?” she asked.

Madoka took one looked at Kyoko and grimaced. “You... didn’t get the groceries...”

“Oh, I... crap.”

She left behind all the foodstuffs when she was running from her life from... cartoon characters. Okay, now that she was planning to say this stuff out loud it didn’t exactly sound plausible, not like if a pack of roving furries had invaded and pillaged the place. Now that would be serious.

“I got attacked by a Furry General at the grocery store,” said Kyoko in an obvious lie.

「だよね、」 replied Madoka. She hardly made a glance her way.

She saw completely through her lie. But what she wouldn’t see through would be... the truth.

...the one that Kyoko was absolutely not admitting at any cost.

“I’m just gonna... go over there...”

And because it had been over five minutes since the last time Kyoko had eaten anything, she realized she might as well make a frickin’ sandwich or something.

But... they were all out of bread. And there was no lunchmeat to be found in the fridge, not even three-week-old-bologna... This was the worst thing ever. She didn’t even have either of those things on her grocery list though so it’s not like she would have them anyway, right...

Ah, man. Today was turning out to be the worst. How come--

A hidden figure burst through the window near the kitchen. The glass shattered and crashed all over the floor, which made it extremely dangerous to walk around in and would be a real chore to vacuum up after this was all over and stuff.

The figure revealed themself, even though Madoka and Makoto were still watching TV instead of paying any attention to the home invader.

It was--

Patrick Swayze, late star of action movie hits like Red Dawn and Road House , as well as steamy romances like Dirty Dancing and To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar !

Oh noooooooo!

“Guys! Help!”

“Kyoko, what are you-- Shit, who is that?!”

“The... the hunkiest man to ever grace the silver screen!” Kyoko said with fear in her voice. She could feel the unceasing grip, the attractive pull of memories past.

Madoka grabbed her arm and began pulling her away. “Let’s get out of here!”

“But... Madoka... Patrick Swayze was one of Hollywood’s brightest stars...”

The man smiled with a tough-yet-vulnerable look, and said, “If you want the ultimate, you've got to be willing to pay the ultimate price. It's not tragic to die doing what you love.”

Oh man...

But before Kyoko could fully snap into the evils of nostalgia, Madoka and Makoto pulled her away. They were running again. And Kyoko still hadn’t gotten anything to eat...

“What was that?” Madoka asked.

“I... I don’t know. The real reason I left the grocery store was because... THINGS like that were possessing all the people inside. It’s... really scary.”

Madoka put her super-serious face on. “Then as the Sheriff of the Caribbean Sea, it’s my duty to stop these things, once and for all!”

Little did Madoka Kaname know, though... that nostalgia could not be stopped with force alone. She was about to wage a battle that she could not win.