Chapter 22 – Good

Marley found plenty of reasons to ignore the strange feeling. The music in the halls was pleasant, something recorded from a band practice she’d heard not too long ago. Random people passing by were nice. The hallways themselves even had a golden glow through the narrow side windows.

She squeaked a foot across the polished floor, which carried a shadow of her reflection. The deep-blue lockers and doors added a strong but pleasant shimmer to everything. It was a good day. It was nice. But she still gave a little frown.

The hallway was too straight. It was too nice. There was something about it which nagged her with a detail she couldn’t place.

It followed her to homeroom class, where Jessica and Marisa sat in the seats just in front of and to the left of her respectively. It was convenient that her friends were able to sit so close during classes. They all had their classes together. Convenient coincidence again. Not something which bothered Marley (she was ecstatic when it happened several weeks ago) but it made the metaphorical pebble itch just a little bit more.

Finally setting her book aside, Marisa leaned back and reflected, “Remember the very first day of class here?” Jessica plucked a book out of her backpack and flipped through the pages. She sat sideways in her chair with her legs crossed as she offered, “I remember abject terror with loads of confusion, worry, and running about not knowing what to do. You guys helped a lot. Without the two of you, I’d probably be crouched in some corner, all alone and muttering to myself.”

Marley’s eyes snapped up, the pebble momentarily forgotten as she reached forward and grabbed Jessica on the shoulder and she reassured her intensely, “You’re never alone. Never. We’re always here.” Jessica gave Marley a warm smile and responded, “I know.”

Marisa glanced back and forth with a faintly worried look and nervously chuckled as she said, “Or maybe it's best not to remember that…but for me, I remember Mrs. Sims and her name tags for everyone.”

As their classmates streamed in one or two at a time, Marley smiled and leaned back. Jessica gave a knowing nod. That was the first time they had Mrs. Sims. She made everyone wear name tags pinned to the left side of their chests. They were embarrassing. Marley had chucked hers more than once but Mrs. Sims always seemed to catch her when she wasn’t wearing it (no matter how far back in the room she hid and what jackets she wore). Jessica recounted how she made hers up all pretty but with a slight blurring so Mrs. Sims couldn’t quite see her name through her bottle-bottom glasses. Marisa had turned it into an airplane and chucked it across the room several times.

What Marley remembered best was when her defiance against the name tags and countless other things she didn’t like about Mrs. Sims led to her being placed in detention. Somehow, someway, her friends always found their way there too and made the times all the easier. Despite those times, despite all the conflicts, they always shocked Mrs. Sims. Top three in the class. The perfect answers to perfect moments. The questions which she couldn’t answer without frustration and curses. At least this year it was just her for homeroom and it had been a good year so far.

Leaning back, Marley noticed the fluorescent lights above. Usually, they were harsh and stark, or at least that was the expectation she held. But today, the lights were soft, welcoming, just like the light when she looked up in the shower. She frowned at that.

Jessica gave a giggle and pointed out the window to the left. Marley looked and resisted confusion about whether the classroom windows were bigger and lower than they’d been before. Of course, she told herself, they hadn’t changed. Things don’t just change. It was a good view out the window. A very nice view. It didn’t take her long to realize what Jessica was pointing at.

The edge of the PE area showed through the window. A big beach ball floated above a crowd of students on the blacktop. As it swirled in and spun with each person pushing it back up, Marley noticed it had a big black area on one side which resembled a disembodied eyeball. It was sure getting pummeled. Jessica smirked and noted, “Looks like PE will be fun today.”

Marley smiled back but just barely. The pebble was still irritating her. It was time for class though, as she noticed Mrs. Sims shuffling in. She croaked out the roll tersely, “Avery? Avery…Avery! Honestly, where is that girl?”

The names came automatically. Her eyes gazed out with a glassy hollowness. The three of them suspected she must’ve been teaching for at least thirty or forty years. It showed in her presence. She looked defeated. Class was relatively-organized today but there was the occasional person who talked out, causing her to pause, give a sputtering “shhhh” with a finger raised which barely traveled beyond the front of the room and only silenced the talking for a moment before it rose up again.

It was early enough she just sputtered out the hushes with muttered, “Be quiet” grumbles. Later she would be fuming and huffing about, stalking back and forth as it seemed the dark blotches around her eyes deepened.

She eventually came to Marley, read off her name, and added, “Keep in line this year…all three of you. You may think you are free to do what you want. But you’ll learn something different out in the real world.” She shook a finger at Marley, who wore a look of annoyance at her and her friends being singled out. Marisa held her book open at mouth height and stuck out a tongue in Mrs. Sims’ direction. Jessica smirked and added an exaggerated pantomime. The other students gave a smattering of chuckles which Mrs. Sims whipped back and forth to “shh” before growling about the next person’s name.

For a while, Marley relaxed. Long enough for Mrs. Sims to finish with Marisa before she went into her meandering mini-lesson for homeroom. Until Marley met Mrs. Sims, she thought she liked teachers. She could feel warm sensations about good ones. Her aunt was a stern but focused junior high teacher she nearly had for a class.

But she loathed Mrs. Sims and the way it felt like they were all 'beneath' her. She'd once mentioned something Marley barely listened to about being part of a company which would’ve left her filthy rich if she hadn’t “decided to quit”. She’d spent long lectures last year talking not about math but instead about how everyone was going to die, the world was ruined, and none of it mattered. Marley enjoyed getting kicked out of those classes.

But it wasn’t worth it to get kicked out of homeroom. Her friends whispered back and forth. Maybe visit the mall over the weekend? What about that new pizza place? Marisa delighted in mentioning the library. They earned a ‘shh’ and a stern look which only slowed them for a moment.

Marley listened. She smiled. She stretched her left arm. It felt weird. Kinda heavy. It ached slightly. Had she slept on it overnight? It felt like she’d punched something or grappled with someone. Her right didn’t feel great either but it was better. She tried rubbing her shoulder to help. It did, somewhat.

There was a new sensation though. Her heart was thundering in her chest and twitching in her ears. She tried to take a breath, but it didn’t feel substantial. It felt like something was pressing on her chest. It hurt, the pain increasing with each breath. She began to feel tingly. Her head felt woozy and light. The weird sensations spread down her hands and arms despite her efforts to flex and stretch them. Jessica leaned back and asked her something, but the sound felt distant as she began to tremble.

All around her, she tried to look. She tried to take a full breath and make the moment pass. But it just got worse. The walls felt flat and the outside was like a painting in the window. The others were just shadows, except for Jessica and Marisa. All else faded away. Even Mrs. Sims was just a dark smear on one wall.

Marley clenched her teeth, pushing her breath in and out. She was terrified. Something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong. This wasn’t just a pebble in her shoe, this was a boulder on her chest and it was going to crush her to death. She cried out and buried her face in her hands, surrounded by darkness.

Then, Jessica touched her on the head. She wrapped her arms around her and whispered, clarity through the chaos, “It’s alright. I’m here.” Slowly, like being released from a vice, the sensations relaxed and Marley could breathe again. She took a long breath as Jessica held her and Marisa crouched nearby.

From across the room, Mrs. Sims fumed, “What’s the meaning of this nonsense?!” With a glower, Marisa gave a harsh ‘shh!’ which shut her up.

Easing back in her chair, Marley felt the world return to normal. Or at least the state it had been before. She coughed as Jessica asked, “Do you need to go to the nurse’s office?” Eagerly, Marley nodded and stood up from her seat with uneasy legs.

She walked forward with Jessica supporting her and told Mrs. Sims, “We’re….going to the nurse.”

Mrs. Sims scowled and remarked, “Another scheme to get out of class?”

Marley clenched her teeth and stated sharply, “Shut up. Shut up right now and write a note.” Mrs. Sims staggered back, as though struck by Marley’s words. It seemed she was ready to answer firmly but, as Marley glared, her resolve crumbled and she stalked over to her desk to write a note.

Jessica took it and they left without another word. Once in the hallway, Marley felt a little easier on her feet. She sighed and told Jessica, “Thank you.” With a giggle, Jessica remarked, “No need to say it. I’m here for you as you’ve always been here for me. It’s about time I get to pay you back.”

Clutching hands, Marley smiled. She didn’t remember as many times she’d helped out Jessica as she helped out her, but she did remember the times the light in Jessica’s eyes had diminished. It was an unfortunately familiar feeling. She could remember those moments. It felt like her own face was staring back at her as she tried to restore Jessica’s smile.

The nurse’s office wasn’t far and it felt like too short a trip with Jessica by her side. It was a small room, barely more than a closet but with some medical equipment to one side, a few beds scrunched together in the back, and a young woman in a lab coat sitting at a computer. She looked up from her screen and smiled in a way which invited Marley to smile back.

“Good day there, you two. My name is Mona and I’m the school nurse. How can I help you?”

Jessica explained the situation and Marley elaborated on the symptoms. Mona listened intently. She took Marley’s vitals, checked her breath, and felt her gently.

“It’s always good to check, no matter if you start to feel better.” Marley nodded and Jessica perched on the nearest bed, watching with a faint frown.

Mona manipulated Marley’s arms and they started to feel better. After a good deal of poking and prodding, she announced, “My best guess is you may have had a panic attack. Would you like me to call your parents or would you just like to rest a bit before returning to class?”

Marley looked across at Jessica and decided, “I think I’ll just rest a bit.” Jessica jumped up and said she would make sure to get Marley’s bag so she’d have it for their next class. She’d nearly forgotten about that. Jessica scampered off with a smile as Marley settled onto the bed.

She leaned her arms behind her and tried to get comfortable. Mona scooted her chair over beside her and softly said, “You’re a good girl, Marley. You deserve to feel good.”

For a moment, Marley questioned how the nurse knew her name before figuring that she or Jessica must’ve mentioned it. The nurse pulled up the sheet around Marley and kissed her on the cheek.

Softly, less than a whisper but strong enough to be heard, Mona said, “It’s good for you to be here. It’s safe for you here. You’re protected and you’re with your friends. There’s nothing to be afraid of. Everything will be fine. She’ll never know.”

Marley felt drowsy. About half the words Mona was saying reached her and they only relaxed her more and more. Touching her on the forehead, her fingers brushed her skin with a soothing warmth and her words filled with flowing kindness, Mona urged her, “You will have happy dreams, Marley, dreams to wash away the darkness of nightmares...”