Chapter 17 – Clues from Mecchen House (cont.)

Jamie and Keiko were silent on either side of me. I thought I could hear Ms. Ishida moving downstairs.

I expected Jamie to speak first, but Keiko said the next words.

“But how?”

I told her the truth, “I really have no idea.”

Jamie stepped in.

“So… You expect us to accept what you said?”

“I’m telling you what happened.”

Jamie leaned forward, close enough to sniff me, and said, “…In a dream you had from taking a whiff of a bird.”

I shook my head. Well, when he put it like that, it was easy to dismiss. And it was understandable to me that Jamie would. But there was something about the whole experience that stuck in my thoughts.

“It wasn’t merely a dream. It felt like a memory," I explained.

Jamie peered at me with a look of annoyance. “You do realize dreams tend to be made up of memories, right?”

I could hear footsteps on the stairs.

“Listen. Please don’t tell Ms. Ishida,” I urged both of them.

Jamie massaged his forehead with both gloved hands. “Don’t tell her about a befuddling dream you had which said this whole world is actually where we came from?”

Keiko’s eyes betrayed so many questions. Jamie looked ready to fight me rhetorically till I crumbled. I really didn’t want this. Describing the vision didn’t help it make any more sense. I wished I’d never had it.

I could hear Ms. Ishida’s footfalls outside the door. I made a hurried ‘shh’ motion to them both as the door slid open, and Ms. Ishida entered with a tall glass of water on a bamboo tray.

I picked up the glass and took a lengthy sip. I watched the curls of distorted anime scenery as the water flowed around the pink blotches of my face. She sat at the end of the bed and gave me a sympathetic look.  

Ms. Ishida glanced around at us.

I felt guilty.

The phoenix lay at the foot of the bed. Ms. Ishida picked it up and turned it over in her hands. I took another sip from my glass. Her eyebrow-lines lowered, and she mused, “I don’t remember Ami ever buying this. But then she brought a lot of junk when she first arrived. Such a packrat even then. And she would just let it lay on the ground wherever.”

I finished the last of my water and passed the glass back to Ms. Ishida. The attentions of Keiko and Jamie were both on her.

I felt upset.

Why did I have to feel guilt over this? I was trying to help. I’d experienced something that seemed very important, and Jamie implied it was merely in my head.

Then, I felt doubt.

Certain details had begun to fade from my thoughts, just like a dream. What people were wearing, the type of truck which nearly hit Hitomi. All the important parts were still there, but it made me wonder about the legitimacy of what I’d experienced.

Ms. Ishida set the phoenix back down and pronounced, “Nothing too strange about it.” She asked me if I felt alright. I gave her a quiet nod.

She surveyed the three of us, showed a sweat-drop look, and said gently, “I can’t shake the feeling something is bothering all of you. You don’t have to tell me what it is. I just dearly hope it’s not me. I mean no offense.”

Keiko sat up in her spot. “No no. Of course not. It’s just… umm… well.”

Jamie picked up the dangling opening for Keiko, “We’ve had a lot happen to us lately and it has been… difficult.”

Ms. Ishida stood and bowed her head. “Completely understandable. I’m just relieved that it was nothing I had done. But I sense something more than when I left a few moments ago. An elephant in the room? If I may be so bold.” She peered left and right as though she were searching for an actual elephant.

I figured our silent responses just confirmed her suspicions. I chimed in, “There is something.”

She scooted closer. “Something you just learned?”

“Something I’m not entirely sure about.”

She turned her head a little. “Perhaps I can help?”

I swallowed and ruffled a bit of the covers with my feet. “You might. But there could be consequences if I tell you.”

“Consequences?”

“Potentially.”

“How?”

That was the part which might be telling too much. I wanted to hit myself for concealing all this.

After all, if this were true, then Ms. Ishida would be the best source of confirmation. But if Hitomi’s words were right, there was no telling what that meant for Ms. Ishida and others. If this world was truly a changed version of our own, then who actually was Ms. Ishida? What about the other Mecchen girls? Carolyn? Nina?

A cold thought hit me: How often Ms. Ishida reminded me of my mother. What if she really was my mother, only warped by what had happened? It was too much. No wonder Jamie went first to resistance. A small voice inside pressured me to reveal what I knew to Ms. Ishida. I struggled with what I wanted to say, despite the fact the very air itself sought to encourage my words.

Finally, I came out with it, “I had a vision that included your parents.”

“Both of them?”

I nodded.

She laid her hands in her lap. “How did they look?”

I described Toki and Masuyo to her. I told her it was when Mecchen House was still being constructed. She clutched her chin.

“That sounds accurate. But then I mostly know my father from photographs. Did my parents speak to you?”

I let details drip slowly, keeping to the main part of the vision, rather than the ending conversation with the near-accident and what seemed like Hitomi.

Ms. Ishida still recognized her from the description and mused, “So, maybe Hitomi was the lovely young girl in those old photos? How sweet. I do wonder if she’s related to me. Of course, I sometimes wonder the same thing about Nana.”

That struck me as a bit odd. I inquired further. She grinned with a finger aside her mouth and a twinkle in her large, friendly eyes. “It turns out I have a secret or two as well. It may not look it, but I actually dye my hair. Its natural color is grayish, a shade off Nana’s hair color. I was born with it. It looks nothing like my mother’s hair. For the longest time, I fretted I was adopted but my mother assured me to the contrary, and I have no reason to doubt her word.”

I looked her hair over. It definitely didn’t show. She looked like a natural blond, more related to Tara than Nana. I tried to visualize it and had to rub my eyes.

She commented on the part with our male selves, “That certainly seems peculiar. I suppose, if you looked at all the parts, there are elements that draw from things you’ve seen. But it’s still so strange you passed out from holding this little thing.”

It was rational to look at all the elements: The photograph of us in the album, the image of the young girl, the images and impression I had of Toki in particular. And how the exact moment from the picture in the hall was recreated. Anyone looking at all that would say my mind took those details and constructed something out of it. But Ms. Ishida trusted me.

Still, how I passed out and how long it all felt when mere moments transpired, remained a mystery.

Ms. Ishida clapped her hands together, which made a flat sound with the gloves on. “There! Now isn’t that better? We’ve both shared secrets. Doesn’t the air feel clearer?”

Jamie glared at me. Keiko presented a little smile though. And, despite a pleasant nod directed at Ms. Ishida, I kept wondering about Hitomi’s statement about Ogawa and Brookville.

----

We each went back to our cleaning. Ms. Ishida kept at scrubbing, Keiko took on dusting, Jamie sorted some clothes, and I better organized what couldn’t be thrown away or sorted.  

I walked around the room. I stumbled a bit. My center of gravity seemed to have drifted lower than what I was used to. I shook my legs and stretched them. I noticed my pants had slid up a bit and were resting at the low point on my waist. I felt lower. As I felt, my hips kept rising and rising. I reached my soft, supple thigh and traced my way back, flowing along a slow but steady hill as it receded into a valley.

I had girlish hips.

I’d read that a woman’s main weight is in her hips whereas a man’s was in his shoulders. As I figured it, a man built to move and hit and attack, a woman built to protect and care for new life.

All of which was fascinating on an academic level and there were plenty of counterexamples on each side. But, standing there, I felt weird. When I leaned forward to reach from something which had fallen behind Ami’s dresser, I felt my weight settle on my heels whereas I expected it nearer to my toes. I stumbled again, trying to adjust to the new arrangement.

Walking also felt strange. It felt like my hips were rocking more than usual. But then I never really paid much attention to how I walked.

I excused myself from the room and made my way to the toilet next door. It was definitely bigger than the one on the first floor.

I slipped my pants down and hiked my shirt up. I turned around. The underwear I’d selected had been stretched by the changes, but it was nothing too stressful for them. It still felt strange to see pink, soft ladies’ underwear on me. Looking over my shoulder, my butt appeared a little different. Not so much large, just different.

I slipped my clothes back on and peered into the mirror. I turned around a few times.

No one would ever mistake me for a man. Sure, my red hair wasn’t perfectly kept, and I had no concept of makeup or fashion. But that meant people would more likely see me as a girl who didn’t care about how she looked than a boy posing as a girl.

Posing and putting my legs together reminded me of the biggest change of all. Whatever was transforming me, be it Hitomi, Nana, or other, only seemed to have one last step left before it was done.

At least, I hoped that would be all. Our loss of certain memories seemed to show that our minds were not immune to what was going on. But then, there was also ‘Hitomi’ from the vision to consider.

She told me she wanted her sister. She claimed that I was her sister. That what I remembered of my family in Brookville wasn’t my true home. I wondered if she was right. Perhaps she was merely trying to help. But what if she was wrong or had a hidden, malicious intent? Could I really take her at her word?

I stood still in the air, wondering if I would be given a whisper of an answer to my thoughts. Except for the rustling sounds of cleaning coming from Ami’s room, the air was silent.

-----

I didn’t mention any of my musings on discoveries when I returned, nor did I give any reason for leaving. Jamie turned over a ratty, faded-looking dress in his arms, balled it up, and slipped it into the trash bag.

I don’t know why I didn’t tell him to put it back. There was a lot on my mind at that moment, and it didn’t really matter to me if he threw away one insignificant, falling apart dress.

Keiko took my attention away a moment later by noting, “Kelly! Your hips!” She gestured, standing near and looking me over. Jamie shook his trash bag a little and looked as well. Ms. Ishida joined Keiko.

I noticed Keiko’s hips looked about the same as before, trimmer than Nathan’s usual muscular form but still androgynous. I let them both examine me and ask if I was alright. I gave them a smile and a nod.

Keiko seemed to notice my gaze. She settled her hands on her hips and pivoted them around. She asked, mostly to Ms. Ishida, “Do you think I’ll have hips like Kelly’s?”

She put her hands around my hips, then around Keiko’s hips, and mused on both.

“Well, my mother would be a much better judge of this, but I think you have lovely hips, Kelly. Normal hips. You might have trouble during childbirth though.”

That made me blush. The prospect of childbirth felt unreal. Keiko watched intently as Ms. Ishida felt around her hips.

She brushed back a lock of blond hair and smiled. “It’s all in my head, but I imagine you’ll have very lovely hips as well, Keiko. Not too big. But trim and flowing. I can’t say anything about childbirth, but I sense you’d manage.”

Keiko blushed too and hid her face with her flowing locks.

She pushed out a careful response, “...I shouldn’t think about it.”

Ms. Ishida caught it and bent to find her face. “If it upsets you, then I won’t dwell on it.”

She rubbed Keiko’s shoulder. Keiko shook her head like a twitch. “There’s so much I’m worried about. I have fears… About what happened to my family. About what may happen to my friends. It’s wrong to even think about such things when people could be suffering… or worse.” Keiko curled the edge of her skirt and asked, “If you please, may I change into other clothes? It was self-indulgent of me to choose these. I’m sorry.”

I did wonder what she would say about Jamie’s hips and potential, but Keiko’s darkened eyes concerned me more.

I gave her a sudden hug and whispered in her ear, softly so Ms. Ishida wouldn’t hear, “Please don’t be afraid because of what I said. I want you to be happy.”

I tried, but it seemed Keiko’s mind was already made up. Soon, she was dressed in something unisex but with soft, watery colors. She fingered the edge of her top.

Ms. Ishida reminded her, “I didn’t mind what you were wearing. I thought it was very pretty. And it fit you well.”

Keiko said a soft ‘thank you’, but added, “I just don’t feel right wearing it with everything. It was nice for a while, and I appreciate that you let me wear it, Ms. Ishida. It was very pretty.”

Ms. Ishida held her hand and pleaded, softly, “Please promise me you’ll wear it again. There are many nice things you can try on when it’s just the two of us here. You don’t have to worry about what others think.”

Jamie took a glance over, eyes wide. Neither Ms. Ishida nor Keiko noticed. Keiko glanced away from Ms. Ishida. “I… I-I’ll think about it. I’m sorry. I just feel… like I trampled on my mother’s grave.”

Jamie shook his bag again and turned through a last big pile of clothes.

Ms. Ishida whispered gentle comforts.

I tried a soft message, “You are wonderful, Keiko.” But words seemed to mean more coming from Ms. Ishida.