Hello Everyone! This is just a small update of the status of Book Two and other things. The book is going good, and I have Prologue, and chapters 1 -4 written. I've taken care to cut the chapters accordingly into different parts, so there won't be 8,000 or 9,000 word chapters. At least, I hope so.
Though, I'm going to spend a few extra days editing it while I work on the rest of the book. I was pretty disappointed in myself when I re-read all of Book One and discovered a lot of typos and grammatical mistakes. I'm extremely sorry about that.... In the mean time, I'll go back through what's already posted here and fix them. I'm not sure if you all get notified of any revisions I do, but you do, then I'm sorry for spamming your notifications.
As for when to expect Book Two? Monday, June 1st. I won't post them all at once, but every few days.
Meanwhile, I'd like to hear you all think of the story so far! There certainly was a lot of action towards the end, and even a little bit of romance between two certain characters! Those two have certain been through a lot in those ten years.
How do you feel about Servi, Itarr, and Momo? Or even Fisher Jin and the twins? What did you think of Servi's Nightly Strolls?
If anyone has any predictions of where they think the story will go, or even how it will end, I'd like to read them. But don't take this to mean that I'm fishing for ideas. All of the major plot beats and story arcs are already outlined, even the ending. It's just a fact of putting the meat in between the proverbial buns. I know writing a book this way can make the characters seem more like walking plot points instead of actual characters, and I will keep that in mind.
Thank you for reading this update. I've been RuggyRuggy. Good Morning, Good Afternoon, and Good Evening, wherever you are!
PS. First of all, I can't believe I've gotten over 3,000 views in three days! Honestly, I never expected this... But I'm even more determined than ever!!! I really hope you all will like and enjoy the story I have in mind.
I agree with the rest that Servi is a hypocrite. But that doesn't matter at all, after all who isn't? Her attack may have taken out a lot of innocents as well, but considering the fact that their operation required the presence of ideally zero witnesses it necessitated a lot of collateral damage and casualty. As to her brutality, not much to say there. I am not a military man I have no idea what fighting a battle is like but if I am right you can easily lose control of yourself in bloodlust and do horrible things. Her memories may be gone but her mind still remembers the experience, a person who has been traumatised the way she has been would either commit suicide or become a sociopath. Let us be happy she fought for freeing disadvantaged people, it means her heart is in a good place. Let us also remember that in a company of degenerates even a saint would become a degenerate by association. We can even see the occurance of innocent people dying even in the real world, when wars are fought the ones suffering are the civilians who are not invovled.
Well.. this is the furthest point im currently at. Now, i don't know did everyone felt it or it's just my lack of sleep talking here, but i kinda believe the whole slave liberation arc came out of nowhere and sudden.
The first nightly stroll was only a chapter and that set the expectation for me, a short chapter where we see Servi doing some batman action(sans the pacifist bullshit), then carry out the next day, living a double life, something like that.
But the second nightly stroll became a whole arc(which caught me of guard) where she got some massive power up. It all happened in one night and while it gave Servi some character development. It left other character such as Momo unfleshed. Well, it might give us some interesting interaction in the later volume. But i think you should focus more on other character.
Quoting a comment i saw years ago, a good story with overpowered character fleshed out the "World"s reaction to the sudden shift in the power scale. It would be interesting to see some people trying to take advantage of Servi. Not the "my rank is higher than your's, f*ck you and obey me" type, but the "asshole using emotional blackmail with nothing to lose" type. I think that will further emphasize the emotional and hypocrisy you're trying to convey.
Oh, and try to invest on a setting where Servi can't win just by brute force like she just did. Don't get me wrong, i love the face slapping "lmao, did you really just underestimated me?" as much as any next person. But so far, the villain has been "introduced, piss Servi one way or another get rekt". It would be nice to see an intricate syndicate, where Servi must gather intel and dismantle it inside out. The mafia mentioned earlier is a really good plot point though for this though.
Let's see what else... i think that's all. Keep safe, wash your hands, and thanks for writing.
The slave thing did come out of nowhere. I agree on that. I wanted something big for the ending of the first Book. I may have made it a bit much, though. I promise I'll keep that in mind.
The power up in the form of the red sword and red armor was temporary. Remember her anger that shows up when she uses them, and how she almost killed the two Elves twice? She made Itarr lock them up. If you're talking about the skill stacking, that showed up in the second chapter when she used Fire Wall three times to burn that second guard.
Servi is OP, and seems to be unbeatable, but she's not. She has flaws and that becomes apparent in the end of Book Two and most of Book Three. Book Four is about the aftermath of those flaws, and how that drastically changes her.
I put a lot of time into developing how her, and everyone else, develop and change as the story continues. They might be one dimensional now, but I promise they grow and learn and fail.
Also, I have something planned for the world's reaction to the sudden shift in power scale. It takes a while to get there, but I'm happy with how it's outlined.
And I know what you mean about the villans. Some of them in the first book were meant to fodder and show how vicious and brutal Servi can be. That brutalness is a key point later on, and once a certain point is known, it starts to make sense why she acted that way.
But there's more to Parrel than what it seems. He became crazy and psychotic for a reason that's kind of hinted at in Prologue part two. But it requires a small leap of logic to figure out.
Momo becomes a main character and becomes more fleshed out as the books continue. With out spoilers, she becomes very important. Other than a character that appears way later, in like Book Fourteen, Momo is my favorite.
Book Two is way more light-hearted, Book Three is gory and dark. Book Four and Five are also light-hearted and fluffy, and deals with relationships.
The first five books are to establish the relationships between the major characters and is kinda like a prologue. Book Six, and it's ending, kick off a major incident and the following books' are a result of that incident.
I have a lot of things planned, and I'm excited to share them. I hope my ability as a writer increases as well so I can tell my story in the best possible way.
Thank you for the comments and reading thus far, and I do hope you'll continue to in the future!
@RuggyRuggy Servi doesn't really seem quite "unbeatable" yet, she's extremely powerful but it's mostly been brute force/skill reliance so far and she's already seen with Albert how raw power will only get her so far. Even her true immortality isn't inherently unbeatable-think of that thing in Naruto
where they deal with that immortal guy by cutting him into pieces and sealing the hole he was trapped in.
Dismemberment wouldn't work on Servi since she can regenerate lost limbs, but as shown by near the start where she had the bee stingers still impaling and hindering her- if they disable her movement by impaling her with swords or something and leaving them there then they can keep her trapped if Itarr is out of commission-something like one of the other gods like Virin's got taking her out or fighting with Itarr to keep her occupied so Itarr can't remove the objects that are disabling Servi. Heck, Itarr was somehow sealed/imprisoned for so long even though she had the absorption skill and immortality-so it's possible that the other gods may have/will have a way to deal with it.
Given how someone speculated that Itarr could be related to the girl who was trapped in the coffin in the prologue, I wonder if Momo is somehow related to the boy that was in the prologue.
@RuggyRuggy and some of the caracter on book 1 need more deepening on their actions to me they were blank and without reasoning on most of their personalities like stereotypes, like they’re just there to be there and be discarded later, but aside that the story on its beginning was really good and it must have improvements on some of the characters relations with each other as well with the MC and other conflictual events that happens outside of the Servir’s bubble and affect her and the other people around her to make the “didn’t happen or happened” because the MC “did or did not made a choice or decision”, as well with the minority because their kin wouldn’t let things go as the go, it could have revolutions of liberty and structural prejudice later on both sides (humans and demi-humans) as well with other connected things that forced them to work together as a society, and the lack of questions from the MC about the world (world building quetions) that can complete the surroundings.
That is all but please tell me if a made a grammar mistake English is not my first language.
@RuggyRuggy hey it made me think of novels like the ones that come from RoyalRoad that have world building and would be good to read reference and character making , if you want some later , just chat me, Im free to talk