Falling into darkness, a vivid world stirred beneath my eyelids, one of a past I longed to escape. The town burned with crimson intensity as I stood, watching. My bowstring drawn taut and arrow knocked, I ran toward the village, engulfed in a towering inferno. Gnolls with loose-fitting clothes and snapped shackles tore through houses, ransacking homes as they burned, taking whatever valuables that they could find. As I entered the main street, I could see a crowd of them at the entryway to an apothecary. The storeowner had been bludgeoned, and slumped against the wall of his burning building, he would die without intervention. I focused on one of them, released my grip on the bowstring, and watched as the arrow flung itself forward - and, with a thud, struck the wall next to the Gnoll.

"Leave now!" I exclaimed. "I don't want to hurt you!"

As the group of Gnolls turned around, I triple-knocked a set of arrows from my quiver - a threatening gesture to try and deter them. Of course, I couldn't fire three arrows at once and aim them well, I could barely manage two - however, the threat seemed enough to scare the Gnolls into submission. They fled the town, dropping some of what they'd looted behind, and with their departure - I rushed over to the storeowner and hoisted him onto my shoulder, dragging him from the building. 

"You're going to be alright, sir," I told him. "Drink this!"

Passing him the simple remedy, he removed the crystal cap from the bottle and drunk it down. It seemed to restore a little bit of vitality to him. As he leaned against my shoulder, he rasped a few words as some of his wounds closed over.

"Thank... you..." he murmured.

Carrying the man beyond the city limits, I stared up as the dragon rained fire from above. My commander, irritated as I returned, barked commands at me.

"What are you doing, Malarie!?" He exclaimed. "I thought I told you to fall in formation! That dragon needs to be taken down!"

As I lumbered up the hill at the edge of the town, I screamed back to him.

"People are still in that town!" I yelled. "When that dragon falls, they'll all be crushed beneath it! We need to get them out of there!"

"No, you need to learn to follow some bloody orders!" The commander cried. "If we don't kill that dragon now, then they're as good as dead anyway. Get back in line!"

As I rested the man on the hill, I drew another arrow and shot it into the sky, blending in with the rest of the arrow-fire streaking through the clouds. I turned back down the hill as I ran toward the town, ignoring the commander's orders. I'd be censured for it, surely, but I'd rather be censured than leave people to die. Charging into the town with my bow as I wandered down an alleyway, scouring the streets for people, I could hear the faint cries of a girl in hiding behind a fallen thatch and wood building, only seconds away from going up like a pyre. I approached her, taking her by the hand.

"We need to leave!" I screamed. "Come on!"

The girl cried as I took her by the hand, barely able to blurt out a response. Only later, when it was too late, would I realise why she was crying - would I realise that there was a woman back there I could've saved. As we ran from the town, and up the hill, I brought the little girl up to the grass. The second I let go, she went to run back. I reached out, grabbing her by the collar and pulling her back, as she desperately tried to run back to death.

"What are you doing!?" I exclaimed. "Stop, stay here!"

"Mumma... Papa... T-They're still down there!" She stammered.  

I brought the little girl close, the anxiety and terror of the situation written on my face. I didn't look like a warrior, a fighter, or a hero at that point. I never felt like any of those things, but I did what I could.

"I'll get your mother," I replied. "Just stay safe for her, alright?"

The little girl started sobbing once more, screaming out 'mumma!' over and over again. I sighed, as I held her, as she fell to the ground in tears. The storeowner I'd rescued, barely able to stand, grabbed the young girl by the shoulder with a weak grip as he lay on the grass.

"I'll keep her... here," he said. "You... save them..."

I nodded, as I ran down the hill once more, returning to the fallen thatch house where I'd found the little girl. I could hear rasping beneath the fallen structure, and looking down, I could see a young woman - trapped beneath a support beam. From above, I could see the dragon's flames, careering through the buildings around - mere seconds away from setting the thatch and wood alight.  

"Please!" She cried, as she pointed over to a man crushed beneath the beam. "Help him!"

In that moment, I had to make a decision. It was one that haunted me to this day. As I knelt down, I lifted the beam from over the woman, and lifted the heavy beam, struggling to hold it so that she could get out from under it. I couldn't save him - I didn't have the strength to, and as the building ignited - I could hear his cries as the torturous fire raged. 

"Look away," I shouted to the woman. 

As she slowly turned her head, I drew an arrow from my quiver. I didn't want to, but I had to end his suffering. As he burned, I steeled myself as I aimed toward him, exhaling. I released the bowstring. I turned my eyes away from the man as the arrow darted through the air, letting out a thunk as it hit its mark. The flames burned with fiery warmth, crackling, and yet the horror of it all made it feel so cold. It was an experience I never wanted to relive. Yet, I relived it so vividly each night. I could wake from the nightmare, but like all horrors, I could never truly escape from it.

That was the price I paid for leaving him to perish.