Chapter 20 - Elpis

Mom ravenously pursued offspring from my loins, as though it were the only, salvageable award from her genetic contribution towards me. The hopes of what I represented would never come to fruition but, perhaps, if I managed to secure and swindle a mate into taking pity on me then she could have an entertaining little one to lavish with the love she never dared to share with me. She could whisper sweet manipulations in their ear and delight in the stress as my child turned against me.

She made no effort to disguise these plans, lamenting the way grandma did the same to her. It was the family tradition to make your child suffer and your grandchildren hate their parents for the smallest things. Mom set me up with an indifferent redhead in college just because we went to the same high school together. I'd never noticed her before, and we shared no common interests. I shivered when helping her along when she sprained her ankle. I sat with her and gave her hugs. but I had no idea what I was supposed to do with her. 

We were friends, acquaintances of the opposite sex whose parents shoved each other in the same direction. I didn't have a bad time and she often went dutch with me, but it wasn't romance. It was just a sliver of human friendship nervously waiting for the other shoe to drop. At once, I looked back on it fondly and I desperately wanted to forget it. The natural state of my being was to be tortured and abandoned. 

The bug which called itself Elpis fussed back and forth with muttered words and careful grooming of its eyes. I waited and expected things to return to horror. It whispered a few things to itself then properly stated, "Greetings! I represent Akosmela. Our Queen, Akos of the Mela line of daughters, and...other children are the Akosmela. You may refer to me as Elpis, my name is a kinship to my fellow hatchling sisters. The...PETAL IN A SWAMP! How am I so bad at this?! This isn't my first time outside. I get to roam and see the outside and I lose my mind!"

For the first time in my lives, I witnessed a bug smack its head against the ground in frustration. If it could blush, I was sure it would look like a turnip. It steadied itself and declared, "Alright. I think we can both ignore that little outburst and I just want to let you know that I come bearing the honorable presence and love of Queen Akos for one and all. Hi...."

I fanned a leg in its direction and repeated simply, "Hi..."

Silence beside the fluttering of the breeze passed between us as I tried to reconcile exactly what sort of bug this creature was supposed to be, or the closest equivalent from my human understanding. Soon it was clear, as I asked it, "Are you a bee?"

Securing its pouches of powder along its 'hips', the creature paused, processed, and reacted, "Huh? 'Bee'? What's a 'bee'?"

Okay, so not all of my words from before made sense to the world I was in. Some translated or were close enough but others were different. While still not sure I was safe but, keeping the feeling of Anise and Lapis in my feet if I should need to flee, I offered, "A name for those who collect...flower pollen. The sweet...yellow. They have a comb with honey and dance and have a queen. I...have heard that name for those...for such beings and..." 

I felt like I was a child in a school play, and I was disappointing my family even worse than I actually did with my real-life line-readings. Clearing my mouth parts, I added, "I am a Shashelm of the Mudwell family of Mudwell. You may...refer to me as Grete."

Advancing rapidly, the bug wiggled its face very close to me with its antennas up. "Hiya, Grete Shashelm Mudwell Mudwell! Or is that wrong? Grete? Just Grete? And bee...beeeeeee. I mean Akosmela do stuff as you say but...bee? That seems like it would befuddling...beefuddling. I'm going to be...or going two bee. My sisters tell me the Formiga say Apislong for all sorts of us. But that completely ignores Queen Akos and...*tsk*...come on."

 Raising my head up hopefully, I responded, "My sister, Sana, told me a story about the Apislong! She said they're traders with....an all-mother?"

Turning and pondering a while, Elpis moved her limbs around in contemplation. "Traders? Uhhh...the Formiga are...well, they love their stories. All-mother? Yeah. I suppose. But Queen Akos is the same as mother and light and flowers and joy. Those are the stories we tell the nursery in their egg-sleep and whisper to those who have passed, carried to their final rest." Her wings settled and dipped down. 

I eased back as well. Maybe she still might kill and eat me, but we were at least talking. Bees or Apislong or Akosmela, whatever name was used where, had a lot more love in the human world compared to Shashelm. It was probably the case here too. They had to be formal and dignified. My kind just scraped by in the mud. I probably was like a dirty street urchin beside a lady of the royal guard. Still, I appreciated she wanted to be nice to me before she ate me or left me to loneliness. 

With a body-shifting breath, I remarked, "Thank you, Elpis of Akosmela. It has been an honor to meet you."

Her first reaction was to hop around and gaze in all directions, despite the fact her big eyes likely gave her a great view of everything, as though she expected that I was referring to someone else who had suddenly appeared. Once resolved that I meant to say that to her, she fussed and buzzed lightly in response, "Goodness, fresh flower petals, an honor? I'm just a scout. Not a very good one at that. I'm honestly...so embarrassing. I'm a little lost. One of my sisters showed me a good spot eighty fluts...or was it ninety? But the directional coordinates had me following this stream about five plantanes diagonal to the rising gleam. I might need to do the dance again..."

Continuing to mutter to herself, Elpis did a little buzz along the ground and tapped her legs in circles before finally coming to the nervous determination, "Oh no. Will I even be able to get back home?"

I marveled at the fact this bug, much larger than me and at least several days older, looked like she was about to break down in tears. Approaching, I offered, "Let me help. I can't fly but I can go with you and help you get back to your home."

Puzzling over me, she responded, "Why would you do that? Don't you have to get home yourself? I've not really seen a Shashelm much before, especially in the golden gleam. It might be dangerous."

She raised some good points. Danger was all around me. I had no reason to help her. In this world you either survived or you didn't. She might decide I made for a better snack than a companion when instinct kicked in. But the only alternative I could ponder was death. If nothing else, travelling with a bee was death with some interesting steps in between. 

Solemnly, I answered, "My home is gone. I had family but they were taken and killed by the Vesperil....I..."

Before I could say more, Elpis buzzed over to my side. She nuzzled against me, feeling as rigidly-strong as a warm, plastic figurine of a soldier but as soft and fuzzy as Dr. Beary by my side during my surgery. After a moment, she contorted but still leaned close to me. Softly, she told me, "Please do not take what I'm about to do as a comment on you, your kin, or your loss, or anything else..."

Gingerly, she stepped away, looked to the stream, and dunked herself in vigorously, spraying water across her protective shell as though taking a bath was a competitive activity. Buzzing about, she soon settled down, checked her load of pollen to make sure she hadn't messed it up in her little freak-out, and explained, "You're uh...you may...I don't really have a good way to state this but...first of all, I'm so sorry about what happened to your home. A sick feeling invades and tears through me just to think of something like that. And...I reiterate my statement regarding a Shashelm. You...have you...do your kind put a high priority on...cleanliness and...aroma?"

I lowered my head. It was quite a sickening step going from a human who did his best to get motivated to shower every day or two to a bug who had no qualms about what kind of water kept it hydrated and ate whatever could be found. 

"There's a lot to say, about me, my kind, and things you may not understand."

Elpis perked up at that. "NEATO! Uh, sorry again. I just love listening. That's probably weird. But, if you'd like to tell me, we can...respectfully go together, not too close, and chat. And you can help me find my way back home. I would be ever so grateful. And I can help you too! Sound good?"

Some part of me had already recognized that Elpis had a sharp stinger at the end of her body but not like the Vesperil stingers. Still, it was like a knife seated at the back of her pocket. However, if I remembered correctly, it was a knife which would drag along and spill out her guts if she used it on me. This was a world of animal instincts, brutality, and death served up between the slimmest of smiles. Joy and love ultimately splattered everywhere, like what was left of Riva. Still, this was a possibility to do more than just wait for oblivion to return.

With a cautious approach, I answered, "That sounds good."