In Which Experiences are Shared
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“I do not think fos has that kind of influence,” Jurao said, tilting his head.

His grandmother laughed, “Well, since you’ve actually spoken with fos, I’ll take your word for it!” 

“Have you ever talked to Enaroy?” Devae asked. 

“Title,” Raoyl said, “Your cousin doesn’t mind, but some other noble might, so keep sharp on it.” 

“You don’t use his title,” Deave huffed, and waved at Aya, “She doesn’t either.” 

“Yeah, but I’m old and no one’s going to try their luck fighting a beast hunter ‘matriarch’,” she paused to cackle at the informal title, “the way they might with you over being rude. And I’m sure the girl has had plenty of practice for when titles are and aren’t important.” 

“I mean, I was a princess,” Aya grinned. 

Devae rolled their eyes and asked, “Have you ever spoken to Enaroy, your highness?” 

“I have not,” Jurao replied, “I have only spoken at length with Maenscul and Nosu, and once encountered Vouscu. Why are you worried about Devae dueling.” 

“Because they don’t have any practice holding back in a real fight,” Raoyl snorted, patting her great-grandchild on the shoulder, “Not really something we do much in training, and I don’t want the headache of them accidentally killing someone who underestimates their skills because they’re young and headstrong.” 

“Ah,” Jurao nodded, thinking that made more sense than fearing for Devae’s safety. Then he said, “Thank you again for the spar - I must be getting back.” 

“Of course,” Raoyl nodded, and turned to start directing Aya and Devae. 

Ieki offered Jurao a bow before heading back to fos own training, which the King nodded back to. 

Rather than head straight for his office, Jurao went to the gardens. Forvi had given him and Braelin the day off from dance lessons so the King might have his duel, which meant Braelin would be making his usual rounds, and Jurao wished to see how his partner was getting along with Petty Princess Zizis. 

The plants led him to the Bewitching Gardens, which made sense for how long it had been since midday. 

“Lord Braelin, the King is here,” one of the gardening staff members called out upon spotting him. 

“How was your match with your grandmother, my heart?” Braelin asked, smiling as he turned towards Jurao. 

Jurao smiled as well, waiting until he was closer to lean down and kiss his partner’s temple before replying, “It was fun - Aya joined the match. I think she had fun as well.”

“I’m sure she did,” Braelin chuckled, then stepped back and said, “May I introduce Petty Princess Zizis Vasuleval?” 

“Your highness,” the young woman bowed. Like her older sibling, she was a traditional demon - though her skin was a lighter shade of medium blue and her skin markings were pale green spots, her light blue hair done in a long braid down her back. 

“Good afternoon,” Jurao greeted, “Have you learned much.” 

Zizis hesitated only a moment before saying, “Yes, your highness - Lord Braelin is a very knowledgeable teacher. Though I fear it will take me a very long time to remember it all. I’m a bit stupid, you see.” 

Braelin frowned and said, “It takes everyone time to retain knowledge - you are not stupid.” 

“You’re very kind, Lord Braelin,” Zizis replied with a smile, “but you will see in time. All my peers have always said so, and I have always been much slower than my siblings.” 

“Is that why you believe you are stupid,” Jurao asked, tilting his head - then clarified, “because others have said so.” 

“Well… no, I mean, by the time ce was my age, Doys was already captain of cer own ferry, and Ollar - my older sister - she managed to win almost every duel she was challenged to, and even Vaegol, my older brother, is a priest of Porscil. I haven’t accomplished anything, by comparison. What other reason could there be for that, you know?” Zizis replied. 

“Favoritism,” Doys said, approaching them. Ce bowed slightly to Jurao before saying, “I was captain of a ferry because the previous captain did not wish to hold the position over a princelin, not because I had the skill at the time. It was ceremonial. Ollar won so many duels because she made so many challenges herself, and the record of her wins is exaggerated - most largely by her, as I have told you before. And Vaegol is a priest at the average time it takes one to become a priest, people speak highly of him because he is a petty prince. He was only an acolyte at two hundred.” 

“My sibling is also very kind, is ce not?” Zizis said. 

“No, I am not,” Doys replied, tone as neutral as it always seemed to be. Ce asked, “Do you think my sister is stupid, Lord Braelin?” 

“Not at all,” Braelin replied.

“Oh, Doys,” Zizis sighed. 

“Yes, it did sound like she was trying to convince you she is, rather than she isn’t,” Doys said, “As highly regarded as I am now, my choice of career was also derided by the court when I set about it. My father was a ferry captain - our shared father has never had a settled partner, you see. None of us share a parent besides him. Ollar and Vaegol have noble parents; Zizis and I do not. It has made earning respect easier for them than us, which they are also aware of.” 

“Well,” Zizis shrugged, “No one really knows who my other parent is at all, really.”

“No, but all the candidates are common,” Doys said, “Our father could care less, as you might imagine by his choice in partners, but the only reason he got the seat over his siblings is because he made it clear he would fight for it and his father could not convince any of them to face him. Prince Ergirri rather inspired him. He joined the sister that had been intended for the seat when she was representative here - as her champion, if anyone had challenged her to a duel.” 

“Were you his original choice for heir,” Jurao asked. 

Zizis giggled in surprise, then coughed, “Sorry, your highness, I’ve never heard anyone speak more flatly than Doys. Hearing you speak together makes it stand out more.” 

Doys offered her a small, fleeting smile before saying, “Yes, your highness. To quote our father ‘if you don’t want it I’ll have to wait until Zizis is old enough to decide, or find a ward - you’re the only one responsible enough.’ If Zizis does find she wants the seat, I’ll step down; that’s why he sent us both. Until then, I am the only one responsible enough, and I dread who my father would find if he actually went looking.” 

“I couldn’t possibly be king of Coujieul,” Zizis said, “I… well, I wouldn’t be good at it.” 

“Vokes, my siblings, and I have gotten her out of the habit of calling herself stupid around us,” Doys said approvingly, “since we all know it’s bullshit and tell her so. We’re hoping time here will rid her of saying it at all.” 

Braelin hummed and said, “But she still believes it when she’s not saying it around you.” 

Zizis looked away from her sibling - Jurao thought perhaps her smile was the same as Doys’s neutral countenance - or Malson’s slight glare, in that it was her ‘neutral’ expression and did not indicate her true emotional state. 

Doys’s face went back to entirely unreadable as he looked at Braelin. 

“People used to call me stupid, as a child,” Braelin said, petting a curled up spikefern - it had short quill-like spines rather than leaves which it could shoot out at speed, but were curled inward as it flexed up into the petting. He smiled as he said, “I would go long periods without speaking, and many thought I was too stupid to learn how to do so. My singular interest in plants was something they often believed was some kind of mental defect - why else would I be so obsessed with them, is what they would say.

“It can be easier to be stupid,” the gardener said, patting the spikefern before taking his hand away, “People don’t have expectations of you, when they think you’re stupid. They don’t ask you to do things, because they assume you’ll mess up, and if you’re lucky, they just say mean things and leave you alone most of the time. My uncle heard someone calling me stupid to my face once, and he told them that they could learn something from a kid smart enough not to speak unless he had something useful to say.” 

Jurao snorted without meaning to - it certainly sounded like Owren. 

Braelin smiled up at him, then caught Zizis’s gaze and said, “My older brother was as protective of me as your older sibling seems to be of you - he would get into fights when other kids called me stupid. Adults, too. I told him it didn’t bother me - like you, perhaps, I thought if I just accepted it, it would be easier than trying to convince people I wasn’t. And one day, I realized that the reason it felt so much easier to be stupid wasn’t because it meant I wasn’t disappointing other people - it meant I wasn’t disappointing myself.” 

Zizis looked down in surprise, shifting her weight between her hooves. 

Doys looked between Braelin and his sister. 

Braelin nodded, and said, “I won’t yell at you for calling yourself stupid, Zizis, though I do hope you’ll stop thinking of yourself that way. And I know it’s hard, but… it is worth it, to have expectations for yourself. Even when you fail.” 

Zizis did not reply, continuing to stare at the ground. 

Doys, however, snorted and walked off with a hand over cer shoulder, “I see my sister is in good hands, Lord Braelin.” 

Jurao hummed and said, “I was also called stupid as a child when I came to Caslavven.” 

That seemed to give Doys pause, though ce did not look back. 

Braelin smiled at him sadly as he said, “I do wish that surprised me.” 

Jurao tussled his partner’s hair fondly and said, “It is not something I ever believed of myself. The first time it happened, I asked my aunt if I was. She told me people used to call my vaokis stupid as a child, because she and I were very similar in temperament then. Vaokis forced herself to smile and speak cheerfully and more often, to make others see her as more like them. That she was not a good blacksmith as a Maesculiken did not help, though she did not wish to be one. 

“Auntie said that when they were adolescents, Vaokis suddenly started saying something good about herself whenever someone called her something mean. She found out it was because Vaokis found someone to train her in combat - he told Vaokis that the things we tell ourselves always become true. If you tell yourself you cannot beat an opponent, you won’t - even if you can. If you tell yourself you can beat an opponent, even if you never do, you can keep getting up again every time you lose. And, little by little, you will see yourself improve. 

“So he told her to call herself smart, even if she did not believe it,” the Demon King said, “so that, little by little, she would. Just like training to beat a stronger opponent. And, in time, my vaokis stopped worrying about what others thought of her by reminding herself of who she was.  So I do think there is merit in not calling yourself stupid, Petty Princess Zizis - but you should also remind yourself that you are smart.” 

Doys snorted and continued walking away at that. 

“At least, my aunt told me that I should tell myself I was not stupid if someone else said I was,” Jurao added, “Even if I did not think I was, so I would not come to believe it in the first place.” 

“I think that’s good advice as well,” Braelin said, smiling. 

Jurao nodded and said, “I will let you get on with your rounds.” 

“I’ll see you at the meal, my heart,” Braelin said.

“See you then, my mud-eel,” Jurao replied. 

Zizis snorted rather loudly, then cleared her throat, “Pardon - ah, mud-eel?” 

“Jurao’s endearment for me,” Braelin replied, “I’m rather fond of it, though I know others think it odd.” 

Zizis’s tail swayed as she said, “It’s… rather silly, but I think that makes it sweeter.” 

Jurao nodded to them both as he continued on his way back to his office, glad the pair were getting along so far. 

it hurt my inner child to write Zizis calling herself stupid, though fortunately I'm on the Braelin end of that particular issue of self-worth

I did once go through a period where if anyone gave me a compliment, the only thing I allowed myself to do was agree with it - and I do think it did me a lot of good. basically, if someone said, "you're awesome", I would reply "thanks, I am awesome". got some odd looks, but when I explained why I was doing it, everyone was thought it was a pretty good idea

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