Chapter Five

Meow

 

Nekohiko met his murderer when they both were ten.

The Spiritway¹"Spiritway", the magic system and religion used in this world is actually just Shintoism, with 神 meaning Spirit, and 道 meaning Way, together forming the Spiritway, or the Way of the Spirits. Shrine and School in Izumo had traumatized little Nekohiko by its sheer size and the number of people bustling within. He was really not in the mood for meeting anybody or talking to them. Or looking at them and being looked at. The people tried to maintain the contemplative, religious attitude, but most were too giddy to keep quiet. The voices reverberated under the tall wooden arches, joining the overwhelming cicada burr and the talisman and chime twinkle on the sultry summer breeze.

The majority of noise came from children Nekohiko's age. They couldn't help but gape and wave at each other, already wishing to befriend someone before even stepping foot into the Shrine School.

Nekohiko hated all of it.

"Nekohiko, please be more agreeable."

Never.

He didn't want to go learn Binding in any shrines or schools. No, he didn't want to become a powerful Spirit Wayfarer or a novice, or a master or whatever. And no, he didn't want to make friends. He wanted to go back home and stay there forever.

"Please, Saho," he called barely audibly. He didn't want to draw anyone's attention to himself, and the great inner courtyard of the Spiritway monastic school was too crowded for someone not to overhear. So he kept quiet, tugging his nurse's sleeve to himself. "Please, Saho, I don't like it here. I want to leave."

Saho was a very young woman. She had a peach-tender personality and broke down easily into tears or laughter. Her reluctance to meet his eye today could easily be explained with that. Yet he still half-wondered if she hated him or was mad at him for something he'd done before, with how withdrawn she'd been the entire morning.

"No. Don't... touch me, Nekohiko," she murmured into her trembling palm.

Old Man Kusaki, one of the only three people Nekohiko had known his whole life before this moment, tenderly unplugged Nekohiko's thin fingers from Saho's sleeve.

"Little prince," he whispered at him. "Please behave. This has to be done."

"No, it does not."

Hot tears already made way to his ducts. He burrowed his teeth into the inner side of his cheek to keep himself from melting down in front of everyone.

His royal parents had named him Nekohiko for a reason. He couldn't disappoint them. ²Nekohiko (根子日子) means "tree roots" (Neko) and "prince" (hiko). As most names that end with "hiko", it is a very important-sounding, royal name.He was not some commoner or some scared little thing. He had honor to uphold.

"I'm not staying here," he said, his voice forcedly solemn.

"Nekohiko..." Now the last surviving Imperial bodyguard of Nekohiko's father, Hachiro, leaned low to Nekohiko's shoulder. "We can no longer protect you. But this place can. Do you understand how important it is that you remain alive by whatever means necessary?"

Nekohiko shook his head. He was being stubborn, he knew. He was being classless and unrefined.

But he didn't care. For the first time in his life, he thought this was a point at which being uncompromising was acceptable. This... place, this shrine and all of its busy, loud people sickened him to his core. Even the Spirits he'd always been able to see when Hachiro, Kusaki, and Saho couldn't -- were so much more menacing around the Shrine than they had ever been in the mountains where Nekohiko's home was.

Spirits³Spirits they mention all the time is 神 = or kami. In case some of you don't know, kami are entities in Japanese mythology which are sometimes Spirits, and other times deities, most famously illustrated for the mainstream audience in the animated movie Spirited Away. liked Shrines, and they liked people. Their transparent, barely-visible outlines traversed the buildings and even the people themselves -- in the shapes of legendary foxes, deer, monkeys, cats. Sometimes purely animalistic, other times -- bizarre fusions of human and animal features.

Another of the enormous Fox Spirits strode majestically above the heads of mortals swarming underneath it in the Shrine square. Nekohiko recoiled from its fluffy nine tails the color of ghostly white. But the Fox Spirit never paid any attention to mortals, seemingly more interested in the Rabbit Spirit it saw in the distance.

A couple of small kids Nekohiko's age saw that Spirit as well. "Mom, Dad, look! Look how tall that Fox is!"

Nekohiko shied from the Spirits and the humans both.

"We are going home," he announced to Hachiro, Kusaki, and above all -- to Saho. "Now."

"You can't simply say that you don't want something and have it come true." Old Man Kusaki squeezed Nekohiko's small shoulders in his big hands. "You are bound to your fate, Nekohiko. You have a duty to your ancestors, and a duty to your Empire, and a duty to Spirits who watch over this land. We are all bound in our different ways. We all follow these ways. And we do it without complaining."

Deep inside, Nekohiko suspected why they were doing this, and that they were perhaps right. The two men might not have wanted to share with him the details, but he had good hearing and somewhat passable stealth skills he'd developed with the three retainers watching after his every move for ten years. One evening a week ago back in their cozy hut, Hachiro had come back from the tiny village at the foot of the mountains where he bought food and supplies from. Then he'd said something very peculiar to Old Man Kusaki.

They found another body not far from here.

What a bizarre thing to whisper to someone out of the blue.

Both men had snuck out the little hut in which they all lived -- a drab, ascetic cavern fused from branches and leaves, hidden under the shadowy canopies of cedars and alders. Nekohiko couldn't curb his curiosity, so he followed the men and overheard everything.

There'd been found another body of a ten-year-old boy. A boy with an affinity to Binding magic. Seven of those decapitated little boys, in all the different villages and towns across the region.

Nekohiko had understood everything in an instant. Not so hard to grasp. The Usurper on the Emerald Throne obviously wanted him, the last true heir of the Empire, dead. But what was new about this? Nekohiko had always known, the moment he'd first been told by Saho and Kusaki all the grand stories and legends about his family and about his late parents' fate.

But, so what? So what if some other ten-year-old boys gifted with being able to see Spirits were being murdered out there? Nekohiko couldn't stop those murders, so all those boys would probably be murdered anyway, whether or not he remained with his guardians, or whether he went away to the Spiritway Shrine. What did it have to do with him?

Yet Hachiro, Kusaki, and Saho were so adamant, so bent on leaving him here all alone, without any means to contact them or even see them. For full six years! How was this beneficial to anyone? It was illogical. It was unfair and unjust and... wrong!

"...you'll be safe here," Hachiro went on. "The natural law forbids hurting children bound to serve the Spirits and the shrines. This is the safest place for you to be until you grow up."

But what after he did? Would he no longer be safe after he grew up? Then what did it matter if he wasn't safe now?

None of this made sense to him.

He kept shaking his head, sick to his stomach from all the liveliness and the commotion around the wooden-carved yard and its many colorful gates.

"You are part of a much greater whole rather than just a single individual, Nekohiko." Old Man Kusaki slowly unclasped both Nekohiko's hands that clung to his clothes, to Hachiro's, or trying to reach Saho's further away. "We all make sacrifices to become part of something greater than any one of us. Your parents did, your soldiers and your servants did. Now is your turn."

Saho finally turned to peer at Nekohiko with her brimming eyes. "Uncle Kusaki, don't be harsh with him--"

"Saho!" Nekohiko cried, no longer bothering that the nearest passersby shot him bewildered glances. He knew what this was. This was a farewell. He would never see any of his favorite people in the world again.

But... he'd never done anything wrong to deserve this.

"Saho, don't leave me!"

"Please be quiet, Neko." Saho hid her face behind her clasped hands. "Please don't make a scene..."

"Then just don't leave me! Don't throw me away!"

By now, almost everyone around them turned to look.

It didn't take long for this mess to attract the esteemed Head Priest of the Shrine with all this shrieking. The tall, somber man in a stark white-and-black Spiritway garment came over and generously "helped" Nekohiko make his way to the Shrine School without further fuss.

What did "no further fuss" mean?

Well, this became Nekohiko's first encounter with the most frightening side of the Spiritway magic. The Bound Servants.

The Head Priest only ordered a couple of them to take care of this little child who was such a disturbance to the merry crowd in front of the Shrine. But two Bound Servants personally made by the Spiritway Head Priest were more than enough for this task.

Made to look like humans, but without the human's natural grace or flexibility. They even wore the simple Shrine uniform on them like a mannequin in clothes store would. But unlike the mannequins, they moved and acted. And unlike humans, their wooden heads possessed no faces, no emotions. And no thought.

No human person would ever be quite as fast, or quite as merciless, and quite as obedient to their master's wishes. The job was done in less than two minutes, and Nekohiko was already out of the courtyard and trapped inside the Head Priest's office.

"Trapped" was too mild a word for being held stiff by two wooden dummies on both sides. They'd effortlessly changed their form from vaguely-humanoid to something like a small coffin of human limbs wrapped around him. Even Nekohiko's mouth was clamped down firm with a wooden palm that felt more like a restrictive muzzle than a human hand. Resistance was meaningless. Dummies wouldn't notice if he struggled, and other than them, no one else was in the room.

An airy, empty room made of fused woods of all sorts and hues, with the colors shifting in never-stopping patterns over the walls and the ceiling. Like the world of the Spirits itself.

Nekohiko closed his eyes, not wanting to see anything from this hateful place. The sear of tears finally made way from under his shut eyelids. Damn it. The humiliation, the betrayal, the cruelty...

How much he hated it here.

Only much later, when the daylight greyed with oncoming dusk and even the cicada singing had lost its zeal, the Head Priest deigned to return to his office. The Bound Servants around Nekohiko broke away shortly and reformed to their human shape right before Nekohiko's tear-streaked face.

"I thought no one is allowed to harm children bound to Spiritway," he told the Head Priest rigidly. He didn't rub his numbed limbs and didn't prim his ruffled clothes after being released even though everything ached. As though challenging, he stared at the majestic-looking man of no discernible age. The Head Priest looked young enough to be considered youthful, with his long dark hair and his grave, detached face. But nobody would doubt that his age was much more advanced for him to hold such an important position in the Empire.

The man slowly assumed his seat behind the table on the small dais in the center of the room. Even though the Head Priest always seemed superior to everyone around him in all regards, Nekohiko didn't feel the need to fawn or bow to him.

Not after this man had torn him away from the only people Nekohiko had ever cared for.

"Well, you are not yet a child bound to the Spiritway, are you?" the Head Priest said without raising his eyes. He unrolled a scroll he'd brought with him from the outside and scanned the fuse-script embedded on the silk. Names, all the names of the young children who had been accepted to the Shrine School today. Most of them grateful and admiring and happy to tears with the honor.

Unlike Nekohiko.

The Head Priest sighed, flicking his fingers toward the shell palette at the corner of his table. The palette was filled with many small, raw gemstones. The glimmering green jewel broke apart under the Head Priest's gaze, then crumbled into dust particles of radiant green. The resulting mass spilled out of the palette and flowed sinuously, like quicksilver, toward the side of the scroll that was still blank.

Before, Nekohiko had never seen the act of Spirit Binding done by a trained user. But instead of gawking, he turned aside, refusing to show interest.

"Maiden Kinouchi Nekohime," the Head Priest enunciated each syllable as he fused the words onto the scroll in a shimmering hue of green. Once put down, the name solidified to its final crystalline form.

Despite himself, Nekohiko had to pay attention.

First of all, Kinouchi?⁴Kinouchi (木之内) is a regular Japanese surname, also meaningful to Nekohiko because it means "trapped inside the tree". What kind of a random family name was that? And second of all...

"Maiden?" he asked. "I'm a boy."

Wasn't he? He'd been told he definitely was one, but before this time, he hadn't had many opportunities to interact with other children his age and make a judgment of his own.

Plus, "Nekohime".⁵Unlike "hiko" (prince) that is his original name, "hime" is obviously a feminine version of it. A Princess ^^ .  "Princess" had nowhere near the same level of magnificence to it.

"Yes, you are a boy, Nekohiko. But the Usurper Emperor is looking for a ten-year-old boy, isn't he?" The Head Priest checked that his scroll was ending up exactly as he wanted. "That man won't be able to touch you as long as you're bound to the Shrine, of course. But he will be observing and trying to find out which one of the children you are  so that as soon as you become an adult and eventually leave the walls of this shrine..."

He didn't need to finish this statement. He raised his cold, weary eyes at Nekohiko. "Do you take great offense at being dressed, called, or viewed as a girl by your peers and teachers until you grow up?"

"No."

Most of the time, he couldn't even tell the difference just by looking at others.

"You will have to sleep in the girls' dorm and spend most of your time with girls. But don't be afraid, bathing can be done privately if the pupils so wish."

After the terrible humiliation he'd experienced today, the only thing he could do was act like none of that had taken place. He wasn't going to let others see just how scared or vulnerable he was.

"I'm not afraid."

Disinterested, Nekohiko turned to the wide window of the Head Priest's office and pretended to watch the camellia flowers swaying on the branches outside. "I don't care about it at all. I'll do what I must."

The Head Priest seemed pleased or at least respecting of Nekohiko's decision. He went on reading and writing, only gesturing with his fingers toward the ornate flower-petal-fused screen in the corner of the room. "There is a bundle of Shrine School uniform behind that screen. You should change here before you meet your classmates out in the halls."

Without a single word, Nekohiko did as he was told. He changed out of his discreet pale-grey dress and into the verdant-green robes with floor-length, stiff pleated skirt only the martial disciples wore, and with long beautifully-trimmed sleeves on the uniform shirts. Wherever he looked, he found traces of Binding magic in every particle in the room around him. The screen was fused petals, the shoes were bark softened with fused dandelion fluff, the robes themselves -- made of Bound pale-green tree leaves, as fresh and soft against his skin as feathers. It had the exact consistency and feel of a live, raw leaf still attached to its branch, even though the robe must have been made a long time ago.

True Binding magic at its finest.

He'd never worn fully Bound clothing before, and so was slightly sheepish about ripping the cloth made of leaves with his movements. But the Binder craftsmen knew what they were doing. The cloth had obviously been reinforced with the fused aspects of something other than mere leaves. Yet just from looking or touching them, he couldn't tell. Saho had told him nobody but the greatest Spirit Wayfarers could discern any fused spirit from a single glance or touch.

Bitter from remembering how broken Saho looked when he'd been torn out of her arms, Nekohiko dropped the hem of his robe, feigning aloofness. He made his way out of the Head Priest's office and down the arcaded gallery that glowed on the firefly light. It was Bound to the ceiling wood like tiny constellations illuminating the halls for nighttime walking.

Older Shrine Adepts and even some Spirit Masters flitted in and out of the open halls Nekohiko passed. The cheery, welcome atmosphere inside each of these halls only pushed him away more.

"Sweet girl, are you lost?" An adolescent woman leaned to him, her fingers already on Nekohiko's wrist. He yanked his hand away, heart in his mouth and blood rushing to his ears.

Too close! He didn't know this woman. He didn't like this one bit!

She took him by his sleeve and pulled in the direction of one of the gaudily-lit halls he'd already refused to enter. "Come, I'll show you where your classmates are. They're all so excited about befriending each other before starting school. Try and get close to someone, too. It helps with the studying -- a lot."

Nekohiko followed only because he was too stunned by the woman's proximity and by her fast chatter. Nobody in his life at home spoke like that or was as handsy with him.

"Tomorrow's a big day, huh? I bet you can't wait to finally start Binding and Fusing Spirits, yeah?" She laughed, trilly. "I know I couldn't help my excitement when I was your age."

Nekohiko kept his eyes down and his long hair in his face. He was not interested in what this annoying woman was saying in the slightest. Binding and Fusing, pff. Whatever.

Spirit magic wasn't as exciting as most made it out to be. He'd known bits and pieces about the Spirits that permeated the world with their unseen but powerful essence. He'd seen Spirits every day -- in the tree trunks, hiding under the crags, splashing in the mountain brooks. These Spirits never looked like they gave a damn that he was watching them. But in the stories he'd been told, the Spirits were integral to the world. They fused elements together into matter and shape, bound fates and qualities of all the living things to give meaning to existence. And, in the newer myths, humans had learned to tap into that Spiritual power to make humankind's life easier.

Everything humans built and created with Spirits consisted of two steps. The matter used -- stone, or soil, or leaves, or metal, or flesh, or wood, or air. And the ultimate Bound form this matter could take. A house, a vehicle, a kingdom, a servant, a human. Literally anything could be fused together for the final form. Anything.

A house of flesh? A vehicle made of leaves? A servant made of wood? Anything, as long as the wielder of Spirit magic was experienced enough.

The Spirits would naturally keep all these things together regardless of which material these objects were made of. In bedtime stories Saho had sung and narrated to Nekohiko all those long, cozy nights years ago, she'd called the Spirits a kind of essential glue that held all things together. Even the concept of life itself was bound like that. The Spirit Wayfarers solely guided this "glue" to hold together some very specific things humans found useful. Like everyday items, for example. Clothes, and bowls, and weapons, and even the small hut they lived in above the mountains. All imbued with Spirits.

But clearly not when compared to Izumo Shrine School. Here, one couldn't make a single step without walking into an object fused and Bound with Spirits.

"...wuu-wuu-wuu," someone's mocking voice reached out of the hall into which Nekohiko's accidental guide was pushing him. "That girl was so hilarious, did you see? Wailing like a lost calf on a meadow!"

"Yes, yes! She also flailed like crazy when those dummies grabbed her. Such a disaster--"

"--almost ripped the clothes off her pretty elder sister with how tight she gripped them!"

The woman who still held Nekohiko's sleeve was vastly oblivious that the gathering was clearly talking about him. "Hey, little fellows, have you lost a sister? Here she is back! Please take care of her, will you?"

Everyone turned to regard them.

He had never been in front of so many people at once. And had never been close to other children, period.

Nekohiko's blood ran hot and cold. His legs felt like snapping sticks so stiff they were underneath him. He took only one mortified look at the tight flock of a hundred kids his age, all of them sitting on the wooden floor. All dressed in exactly the same fresh-green uniform he wore but styled slightly differently on half of the kids. Yet at a glance, he could not tell the exact difference. Instantly, he dropped his gaze to the floorboards. Oh, how grateful he was that his hair was thick enough that it covered most of his face.

The expressions on everyone, though. He'd noticed those. He was sure he would never forget them.

Someone giggled from the back, and a few stifled murmurs rustled left and right.

"What's your name, sweetie?" The woman half-hugged him while gently pushing him over the high threshold.

Nekohiko kept silent, but the woman must have thought he said something. She leaned over and asked louder, "Uhhh? What was it?"

Spirits, she wouldn't let it go until he spoke?

"Nekohiko," Nekohiko mumbled, completely forgetting what his fake name here was supposed to be.

"...Nekohiko?" a few confused whispers traveled through the room, aided by hushed bouts of laughter.

"Oh. A very... strong name, and a rare one for such a cute little girl like you! But a noble one, too," the woman said. "Go on, go on. Don't be shy! Your friends are waiting, Nekohiko."

The woman went on chatting with a couple of the children closest to the entrance about meal times tomorrow. Nekohiko heard none of that. Dazed, he walked through the circle of children huddled together around the center of the hall. The entire space wasn't that big now that he took it all in, and the kids were occupying the majority of it. With nauseating dread spilling inside him, he realized there was nowhere for him to go other than to sit down near one of the kids.

But even the thought felt impossible. He couldn't sit. So many curious eyes were following each of his movements. Heck, he half-imagined he forgot how to walk in a straight line.

"'Nekohiko' is a bit weird name for a girl, isn't it?" some little child blabbered on the background among all the other simultaneous conversations about nonsense. "Maybe 'hiko' can also mean 'child'?⁶They are confused about the gender of his name due to "prince" part. "Hiko" (日子) can indeed mean "sun child" in some cases, and even "chick" in others ^^ . That would sound girly enough..."

"Oh, it does, it does!"

"What about 'neko', then?"

Nekohiko ignored them as best he could.

There -- the only safe spot he could find in such an addled state of mind. A shadowy corner of the room, only a few steps away from the closest kid. He stopped right before hitting the corner with his nose, but couldn't sit down and didn't dare turn around to fake a somewhat casual behavior. So he just stood in the corner, facing away from everyone.

And didn't know what else to do other than to continue doing exactly that, for as long as it took.

A snort. Several chuckles. "Spirits, she's so weird--"

"...I got it! Cat-child! 'Neko' means 'cat⁷The most popular use of "Neko" (猫) is, indeed, "cat", not "tree roots" as he thought it would be.', so her name is soooo cute!"

"Aww, a cat-child is a kitten! That girl's name is 'kitten'!"

"Come sit over here, Kitten! Do you want to be friends with us?"

Nekohiko was petrified. He wanted home. He wanted to go home. Now. Please.

How fast had his beautiful, rare, noble name symbolizing the solid foundations of his lineage become "Kitten"? What other humiliation would happen to him after this?

"...Ew, I don't want to talk to her!" someone groaned close by. "She's weird."

"Are you a coward? Wanna dare?"

Not even a second of silence passed before the kid closest to Nekohiko somehow reached to the floor-sweeping hem of Nekohiko's skirt.

"Kitten, is it?" The skirt tightened, giving Nekohiko a lurch as the kid tugged. "Don't be shy, Kitten. I can be your friend if you like my corner so much."

A few other voices laughed much louder than before.

"Abihiko, stop touching her. She's... creepy," someone else hissed from further away. "Like seriously -- who decides to stand in a corner for no reason? That's not normal."

"She's probably feebleminded."

"Don't worry. All kittens are cute if you treat them nicely," the child named Abihiko answered. The tugging only got more intense after that. "Hey kitty-kitty-kitty. Turn around, Neko."

To free his skirt from the kid's grip, Nekohiko turned back slowly. He took care not to touch the child's pale fingers clutching his hem -- he simply swept his sleeve over those fingers until they released. Then he faced his snug corner again. But not before memorizing, intentionally or not, what that Abihiko kid's face looked like.

Perhaps because it was the first person whose name he knew around here. Or because this kid -- a boy judging by the long, high ponytail on his head that the warriors seemed to favor, or maybe a girl due to the oddly-bright hue of her lips stretched in a grin over white teeth -- was the one Nekohiko stood closest to? So in the end, all the mockeries and jokes and insults he heard in the room became fused solely with this child's image in Nekohiko's mind. Or was it because the child wasn't discouraged by Nekohiko's cold attitude whatsoever?

In any case, this was the most annoying kid Nekohiko met on his first day in the Izumo Shrine.

Abihiko's voice only got louder when Nekohiko ignored him.

"Meow!"