Chapter Thirty-One

The Split Sky

Part 3 of 3

"Your Holiness," Yakabe said.

Suminoe also sounded polite, even gentle. "Lord Yakabe." 

Nekohiko swung around, hands already going for the praying gesture. "Please, Your Holiness--"

Suminoe's gaze could coldsnap so harsh it was. Nekohiko silenced himself. Only Abihiko watched the two of them with an unimpressed mien on his face.

"Great Lord Nagare both flew me here," he said to Suminoe as though his boast would mean anything to him. "So you don't have to worry. Everything's great. Hey!" He turned to Kazuragi and Yakabe, hands clapping. "We should show you to everyone here! They will die of envy from what I'll tell them!"

"Please go back to the Shrine," Suminoe said after Abihiko finished his pitch and nobody reacted to it. He waved a hand toward the Shrine's entrance in the distance, implying no argument from either of the boys. His hand froze in that position in the air for as long as it took Nekohiko and Abihiko to guiltily trudge on, throwing glances to Nagare Lords as though in an apology.

Yakabe gave Nekohiko an encouraging nod while Kazuragi was looking up at the sky with the bitterness of a bird desperate to fly. On his lips, one heavy sigh followed another. He didn't say goodbye, not even when Abihiko yelled at him to come see him anytime.

The adults didn't begin speaking while Nekohiko was in the hearing distance. Who knew what went on after he had to leave...

Nekohiko had never felt so down before. To have received this gift from Heavens -- this wild hope that he, too, could be powerful and useful for once -- only for this gift to come under such fast threat of being taken away. And to think of it -- he was the Emperor. Why was it that somebody else decided what he could and couldn't do? Seriously, how unfair was it that his powers had been sealed since birth, according to Yakabe?!

Who did these people think they were, to restrict his destiny like that?

"Blessings to the happy couple!" someone yelled from the side the moment he stepped through the gates of the first cloister. Loud laughter exploded everywhere.

Unsure of what the joke was, Nekohiko halted. With a sinking feeling, he realized that the joke was him. And Abihiko.

"Blessings, blessings!" some of the girls crooned from the dark arches while the boys threw derisive glances at Nekohiko and Abihiko, barely holding their sneers from showing. "When's the wedding?"

Uncharacteristically, Abihiko didn't respond. Just as absorbed by his thoughts as he'd been moments prior, he sauntered alongside Nekohiko through the courtyard as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening. Which, Nekohiko supposed, there wasn't. Did people not mock them all the time already? So how was this different?

"I can't wait to see Yakabe and Kazuragi again," Abihiko told him secretively once they reached the mouth of a covered gallery to make their way to the canteen. The boy was so proud, so joyous even if his joy was mostly hidden inside.

"Mn."

From behind him, a distinct sensation of a threat snapped all of Nekohiko's small hairs up. His vision brightened in a rapid second and he knew that someone was using Binding against him.

One of those tricks the kids did all the time. Only now he felt it -- felt it before it hit him. Close by, Abihiko also reacted as he usually did when he caught others pulling pranks at Nekohiko. The boy turned, a small sign of Binding deflection forming in his fingers yet--

Nekohiko was so much faster than even him.

What deflection? Redirection, he decided in a flash. Let those bullies have the taste of their own poison whatever it was.

His hands flickered assembling to Bind. Nagare's signature move of catching -- infusing with his own deep-seated rage -- then releasing back at the dumb boy who'd cast it. The split moment he had the prank spell in his hold he knew it was only another of those bothersome tripping jokes. Nothing serious.

But when he flung it back, it had changed.

It changed to something horrible.

He didn't see it with how fast it was. The earth shuddered as the incredible burst of power howled through the gallery and toward the boy and the small group of people behind him. One of the male teachers didn't get out of the way in time and--

Nekohiko's heart stopped.

The boy who had cast the spell was still standing on his spot as he had.

But behind him, an agonizing scream shattered the usual rustle of conversations in the courtyard. Vivid red splattered over the unlucky boy and the wall. And the wall itself...

Something had crashed through it, obliterating rock and wood. Dust smoked over the wreckage obstructing the view, and gods... Nekohiko didn't want the see the view. He knew something terrible happened.

He didn't want to see it!

But he couldn't help himself... he blinked at the fuming wall of rubble dust, trying to see.

The boy who had cast the prank spell swayed on his feet. Covered with someone's blood, he tried to recoil, but instead simply fainted, crashing to the ground in a flash.

Nekohiko didn't understand. How was it that the boy he had flung the spell at -- was unharmed? But one of the teachers behind him was...

...was...

Abihiko clutched Nekohiko's hand. He didn't run, didn't try to accuse him or yell at him. He only held Nekohiko, and without realizing he was the first one to do it, Nekohiko responded to the touch by curling his chilly fingers around Abihiko's hot ones.

"What did I do?" he asked nobody in particular. "Abihiko..."

After the most intense hush in the courtyard, children started screaming. As if spurred by those screams, Abihiko gripped him harder and the two twined their hands together.

"It'll be all right," Abihiko whispered like a chant. "Everything will be all right."

The dust slowly dissipated, revealing the mighty silhouette of Ashflake -- the Head Priest's Spirit Fox -- hunching close to the ground hiding something underneath itself. The Spirit Fox looked hurt but not so much as to be in danger.

There was blood dripping down the walls and the rubble, but there wasn't nearly enough of it to have come from a human destroyed by a Binding strike. Perhaps only... to rip one's limb apart...

On the floor by the edge of the gallery, an arm of a grown-up person paled amidst the pools of red.

Nekohiko's veins chilled. He wanted to run, but Abihiko held him down. Belatedly, he found their hands gripping one another and wanted nothing more but to stop it. Now.

"Let me go!" He struggled out of the boy's grasp and Abihiko let him, too stunned to know what else to do.

From within Ashflake's embrace, a reedy voice moaned, sobbing. Nekohiko stepped forward stiffly, trembling head to toe.

Beyond the vague outline of Ashflake, the rest of the courtyard was still swaddled in fog. No amount of stone crumble or broken wood could have created a cloud of dust so persistent. Nekohiko peered into the mist dreading even more horrors his Binding had unleashed.

Under his feet, the little boy was breathing. Completely unharmed. Only unconscious.

But the rest of it... the blood, the ripped arm... the crumbled wall.

How come the small trick he had Bound possessed of such destructive power? He was sure he hadn't mistaken his signature moves -- more because low-level pupils hadn't been taught anything truly destructive rather than because he was so confident in his finger formations.

So... how?

How was this so devastating and so... ugly?

The cries and calls for help in the courtyard died out within the fog, too, as though it not only restricted the vision but also the hearing. Then, out of the clouding, gentle mist, came a figure. Tall, lean, the recognizable shape of his ceremonial hat on his head.

The Head Priest.

That he wasn't hurrying at such a moment gave Nekohiko hope. He came over to Ashflake and knelt by its massive translucent paws where the curling shape of a hurt person lay. His wide sleeves obstructed the view, so Nekohiko didn't see what the Head Priest did. But once he was done, the man's moans already stopped, and the fog in the courtyard receded -- gradually, softly.

Nekohiko waited for the Head Priest to notice him. He was too shaken to cry and too numb to flee. Whatever his punishment would be, he would accept it, he decided.

"Sakito started it," Abihiko said suddenly beside Nekohiko. Had Abihiko still not left even after Nekohiko pushed him away?

Dumbly, Nekohiko watched Abihiko's flushed face, his indignant expression as the boy spoke to the Head Priest. "Sakito threw the actual Nagare impulse at Neko! She was only defending herself! I saw her gesture -- it was the simplest redirection technique, nothing fancy!"

With a savage swerve of his head, Nekohiko took in the ruined entrance to the gallery. Only now he noticed that the spatters of blood were gone off the walls even though nothing else changed. Then again, the torn arm of the teacher wasn't there either.

"Someone tampered with Neko's spell, I swear to you!" Abihiko went on. "She did nothing wrong!"

The Head Priest gave him a passing look as if meaning he heard him but had no time to reply. Ashflake uncurled from around the male teacher's body and the Head Priest caught the man in his arms. Out in the courtyard, more teachers and senior pupils were rushing here to see the damage and if anyone was hurt.

"Nobody is hurt. But two people lost consciousness," the Head Priest told Haehime, the Shrine Maiden, who oversaw all the religious practices in School. He passed her the teacher's peacefully-looking body that bore no signs of the terrible wound Nekohiko had seen earlier.

Then he felt the Head Priest's cold gaze return to him.

Involuntarily, he stepped back but then stopped himself. He regretted what happened here but he wouldn't run or deny it.

"Your Holiness," he whispered, afraid to tear his eyes from the man's face.

"Follow me." The Head Priest turned to leave only to pause to add when Abihiko also wanted to follow, "Alone."

Unlike the usual routine, they weren't going to the Head Priest's office. The galleries were those that led... to the girls' dorm where Nekohiko lodged!

His heart skipped.

It wasn't that... the Head Priest would expel him from the Shrine School?

The nearing dusk made the galleries appear blue in shadows, uninviting. Because of the ruckus in the cloister, almost everyone had run there now, and so the galleries they were walking through -- were empty. Such a lonely, eerie moment.

Nekohiko couldn't bear the thought.

"Will you seal my Binding away?" he asked.

He'd known the Head Priest would do something like that the minute he'd seen how unamused he was with Kazuragi and Yakabe. But back then, Nekohiko had half an idea to argue with the Head Priest. To try and combat his decision.

Not now.

"I have already done that. My seal is still exactly where I have put it eleven-and-a-half years ago," the Head Priest said. "I have nothing to do with the Nagare seal. Whether putting it on you or releasing it."

Nekohiko was afraid to breathe. "So... does it mean...?"

"The time for you to have your Binding powers back would have come sooner or later so I see no reason to seal them away again." The Head Priest walked briskly, giving Nekohiko only marginal attention. "Nagare seal being released is not something I am willing to fight for. Especially," he added with a pointed glance, "if you realize just how wide the gap between the tiniest of your powers and everyone else's is."

"I realize..."

"Do you?" He directed his thoughtful gaze to the somber darkening sky over the curved roofs of the rock gardens they passed. They stopped before the girls' dorm entrance and Nekohiko bated his breath, expecting something grim.

But the Head Priest simply opened the door of Kotone's small room and ushered Nekohiko inside.

Nekohiko could only glance at him wordlessly once he stepped in. He still didn't know what this meant.

The Head Priest watched him out of the corner of his eye. Slowly, he closes the door behind them as though gathering his thoughts.

His voice was rustling when he began speaking.

"The Nagare Lords shouldn't have released it so early but once it's done, it should stay as is. You will learn to control it by which I mean that you will learn to not use it. An immense skill in itself, one that only a few possess -- to have power but choose not to use it. Nagare, notably, aren't very good with such a skill. Never were."

Nekohiko studied the Head Priest's profile and the strange eloquence he exhibited. He must be very freaked out, too, he thought, to act so beyond himself. Only he couldn't show it. Not in the tremors that still coursed through Nekohiko, not in the gleaming eyes or the hastened breath.

The Head Priest Suminoe appeared as calm as usual. Yet the way he spoke...

"Your emotions channel most perfectly through the Nagare techniques which, naturally, is their strongest and weakest spot," Suminoe went on, still speaking to the floor as if Nekohiko wasn't even in the same room as him. "The answer on how to manage your power levels that will invariably hurt those around you -- is to control your emotions. It is not that hard to do, is it?"

He examined Nekohiko's hushed countenance. Even on a regular day, Nekohiko knew he acted downright impassively to the eye of an onlooker. However, now, dazed and detached, he might have looked no better than a statue.

"You will learn. One by one, all the Great Lords' methods will be taught to you. Nagare's turn is now, so it would be fitting if, on top of all Nagare lessons you have received from others, I give you mine."

Suminoe's eyes felt searing, so penetrating they were. Despite himself, fear stirred inside Nekohiko when the Head Priest sat on the floor, offering Nekohiko to do the same.

"It's selfishness," Suminoe told him quieter. "The true essence of Nagare power lies not inside a person's heart as the popular belief states. It lies within the selfishness of an individual. It's 'I want', 'I demand', 'I need'. It cares not about what others want or need. You have to understand this very carefully, Nekohiko. Nagare power is meant to destroy and suppress and abuse. If you tap into it, that would be what you'll end up doing. Always."

Nekohiko swallowed, thinking back to the teacher's torn arm amidst the rubble. "Will that man really be all right? Was he... hurt by my Nagare burst or...?"

"I won't lie to you. You did almost kill him, without meaning, of course. You probably didn't even mean to. Was your spell originally directed at the young boy, Sakito?"

However much it hurt to accept this... yes.

His spell had been directed at Sakito. But not to kill either!

"Sakito is a child Bound to Spiritway. The law of the Spirits naturally protects him from harm done by Binding. But the adult person behind him wasn't as lucky. In any case, the Pearlescent Mists I command did their job. The teacher is not hurt, physically or mentally. He might not even remember what exactly happened other than the fuzzy outlines of the events."

"I'm so sorry," Nekohiko murmured. "I don't want to hurt anyone ever. Please, Your Holiness, please believe me."

"I believe you. But belief might not be enough in the long run. Nekohiko, why do you not ask me about the reasons your Binding had been sealed since birth? Why do you not demand truth? Or fairness? Or explanations for why you've been left in the dark for so long?" Suminoe didn't seem angry, just perplexed. "Do you not resent me or others for doing this to you?"

Nekohiko shook his head. "No." Hate Suminoe? Hate Kazuragi or Okinaga? "Never. I'm grateful for this one seal being lifted. But I would never demand more. I... don't feel like I need more. Just one seal lifted is enough for me to learn Binding. And..." he thought but couldn't come up with any demand he could make. Truly, just being an average Binder was fine by him. Enough to protect himself, enough to communicate with Spirits. "...that's it, I think."

The faint yet genuine smiles Suminoe gave were so rare, Nekohiko always felt surprised when he glimpsed one.

Suminoe was smiling now. "Thank Spirits. There is nothing I could have wanted to achieve more in my life. That we raise one -- just one Emperor who wouldn't need to abuse his powers."

That... didn't sound promising.

"Do you mean that every other Emperor abused their powers?" Nekohiko ached at the idea. "Even my... father?"

"All the newborn Emperors get their abilities sealed by the Five Lords, the current Emperor, and the Izumo Head Priest. It would be simply too dangerous for a baby to hold so much power over the Spirits. But most Emperors grow up fully aware of how devastating they can be. And once they grow up and a few of their seals are lifted..." Suminoe hesitated, visibly distraught. "...it is a hard life, to be so in tune with the Spirits, Nekohiko. Sometimes, the Emperors forget that they themselves are human. The mindset of Spirits can easily... infect... corrupt the Emperor's mind. And the more seals are unlocked, the worse it can get. After a while, the Emperor might simply stop seeing the difference between a human and a Spirit. Or between an object or a human. Or between life and death. Or what humans consider right and wrong. Every Emperor, including the Usurper, have experienced it to some degree."

He noticed Nekohiko's quivering lips and widened eyes and tried to sound gentler.

"It is not their fault. That is the responsibility of being the Emperor. To care about both the Spirit half of the realm and about the mortals. To Bind them together. The Emperors are never truly evil. They are like... judges who keep balance in the world, like karma itself. Like scales on which justice and equality are the only measure. But like all judges, their actions can seem harsh to individual people. No judgment will ever seem fair to both sides of the argument.

"My job is of the same sort. I am also an arbiter between humans and Spirits. I have to be impartial to both. But that's one of the reasons why people are afraid of me," he added absently. "Some of my behaviors stop seeming human the longer I hold this position. One might call me manipulative, or callous, or indifferent. On some level, that would be correct. Spirits have no place for emotions, so the more I communicate with them, the less human I will be. Naturally, all the Emperors have that quality as well. To call them evil or cruel from my position would be very narrow-minded and hypocritical. But, in ordinary human terms..."

Nekohiko waited, horrified.

In ordinary human terms, yes. That Suminoe refused to call it that didn't mean anything. To most people, Suminoe was cruel and evil, too.

Suminoe gave him a quiet nod. "Remember this: the Emperor who channels Spirits and the Izumo Head Priest who connects with Spirits -- are most like... mirrors. Our job is to reflect exactly what gets thrown at us. Mirrors are impartial and indifferent. They are also occasionally cruel and almost always cold. But if someone sees evil in what we do -- it only means that the one who is looking at us sees a reflection he does not like."

Doubtfully, Nekohiko swallowed.

"Most people who claim the Emperor is evil are almost always the Five Great Lords. After the Usurper murdered your father -- how do you believe the Usurper ended up on the throne? You do know that all the Five Lords have to support his claim to the throne. Which can only mean one thing."

"All the Lords wanted my father gone?" Nekohiko whispered. "Was my father a bad person in their eyes?!"

No.

That wasn't even the most important thing to ask.

Was Nekohiko's grandfather a bad person? Was the Usurper a bad person now that he was the Emperor? And if and when Nekohiko rose to the throne, too -- would that imply--

"Will I be a bad person, too?"

"Nekohiko, come here." Suminoe beckoned him and patted the floor directly next to him. Nekohiko was shivering, tears hot and burning as they shot down his cheeks, irritating his bitten lips. He wanted to run away and refuse Suminoe's call but then he remembered how happy Suminoe had become when Nekohiko was tame and receptive. Suminoe wanted him to be good, wanted him to not abuse his powers.

Suminoe was the closest thing to himself in the entire world. Another person who was Bound to his horrible, inhuman fate. Why would he run away from such a person?

He sank down beside him. Suminoe's hand lay barely perceptibly on Nekohiko's shoulder. "Listen to me, you are not a bad person. Never in the world."

"But what if I... forget the difference between good and evil like most Emperors do?"

"I will never allow you to forget. You have friends now, don't you? Abihiko will never allow you to become a bad person either. He cares about you. There will be other people who will care. Lord Okinaga, Lords Kazuragi and Yakabe--"

The realization was sudden and painful.

"Did they let my father be murdered when he failed to fit their ideas of a good ruler?"

Kazuragi, Okinaga... had been guilty of his family's demise? And then they dared to rescue him from the ghouls and Spirits and act like nothing bad had happened between them? As though it wasn't their fault he was an orphan?

"They were both not much older than you are right now," Suminoe said, patting Nekohiko softly. "Of course they had not been the Lords of their Houses at that time."

Ah. At least some relief from this horrid evening. That the people he admired so much had not personally participated in his tragedies. His heart felt lighter, a little.

"There is one other thing you have to really, really think about, Nekohiko. The seals can only be released by the Lords voluntarily."

Nekohiko was too dizzy to understand why Suminoe wanted him to think about this.

"Ask yourself. Why is it that since all the Lords know that the more seals are released, the madder the Emperors might become -- they still release those seals? Ask yourself, Nekohiko. Who benefits most from the Emperor going mad with the Spirits? Does the Emperor? Or do the Lords?"

...

The room suddenly grew much, much colder than before.

A harsh chill crept up Nekohiko's sides and spine.

"Each of the seals released benefits one Lord, and one Lord only. The battle for whose seal gets released and whose seal remains locked is a battle in which you, Nekohiko, as any Emperor had been before you -- are nothing more than a battlefield. A battlefield they will dispose of once you stop being advantageous to them."

This was...

...so horrible. He had just been called the balancing scales of the world and a mirror like some kind of an instrument that didn't have its own humanity. Then he'd been called cruel and potentially evil. And now -- a battlefield that others would dispose of when he became useless to them.

He... didn't know how to take it other than keep silent.

And numb.

A hue of tenderness colored Suminoe's voice.

"What's important, not all Emperors ended up like your father. You have to remember that your father had six of his seven seals released when he had gone truly mad with Spirits. And that he had been raised a prideful, ambitious man, catered to his every wish in the Emerald Palace. Most Emperors only released two, at best three of their seals." Suminoe leaned forward to see that Nekohiko was listening. "And you have only one and you say that it's already more than enough. So how can you possibly be a bad person, Nekohiko?"

The mild breeze disturbed the tree branches beyond the building walls. Their rustle brought in scents and many sounds of a beautiful evening in Izumo through the thin window.

Nekohiko raised his tear-pained eyes at Suminoe.

"Promise?" he asked him.

"Promise," Suminoe said. "As long as you are still the same humble boy who only wants to communicate with Spirits and not to abuse his powers, and as long as you have someone else by your side -- someone human, someone who cares about you -- you will never be a bad person, Nekohiko. We will not abandon you.

"I sincerely promise you that."

Queenfisher

I hope I somewhat explained the gist of Neko's potential "evilness" for those who were interested what's up with his morality. He is not truly "evil", and never will be (or has been). But he treats people exactly as they treat him. Neko's job was to be an agent of karma, in a sense ^^, and karma can swing both into harshness and kindness equally.

And geez, I wish I never get on the trending front page again! This book is a bit too niche and weird to find readers through hype anyway. (Not that hype is bad, just that my book is the opposite of it). But I did get a bad rating within half an hour that the book was trending.

Oh well. Thanks for rating me badly just because I was trending, stranger! Is it too eerie that this chapter also happens to be about how karma works? ^^