Queenfisher

The new uniforms, the new year in School, the new hairstyles, the same attitudes. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ You know how these two are ^^.

Spoiler

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Chapter Fifty-Two

His Hands Only

(Part 1 of 3)

"Neko, Neko, Neko."

...

Not again, Abihiko!

"What."

The third year at Izumo was slowly bridging its way from the last Hisome classes into the first classes of Towa techniques. Nekohiko was ecstatic. Hisome was all fine and great, but he disliked the connotations -- the bad taste learning the Hisome techniques gave him because of that one run-in with Morokata.

Plus, Towa was so exciting and new. He didn't even know what the Towa's life philosophy was like. He was very, very curious about it.

And because of that, he was doubling his studies. Not only the fun things he liked to do for himself, like reading about irrigation systems and the benefits of fencing for the farming regions of Hira. No. He was also studying Binding history now, to properly prepare himself for the Towa classes come spring.

But all that resulted in his sleeping habits deteriorating. Which were more often known as dosing on and off throughout the day. And sleeping like a log at night.

But did Abihiko take note of any of that?

Noooooo, of course he did not.

"Neko, come on! I'm too skittish to do it on my own! Wake up, we have to go together or all those stupid damsels would mock me again!"

Uurrrrrgrhh.

Yet outwardly, Nekohiko could only give Abihiko a very pointed look. And say nothing.

The boy was "in love".

Again.

Was it the seventh time this month? Whatever. His lovesickness caused Nekohiko far more trouble when it was unrequited, so in the interest of Abihiko stopping to mope and whine all days through because of how "amazing and dreamy" some boy was -- Nekohiko forced himself to wake. And sit up.

And give Abihiko another pointed glare.

Abihiko stared at him back, eyelashes fluttering very, very fast. Then he smiled. "I will buy you an azuki bean cake."

There was another benefit to getting Abihiko to his latest heartache and having them confess to one another. Because if Abihiko was properly happy with his new boy toy, he might even spend most of the evening with that person and only come back so late that Nekohiko would have already slept for the better half of the night.

It was wonderful.

But also... sometimes -- not.

Nekohiko couldn't say why. He just felt lonely in all those evenings or even whole days when Abihiko was running around with some other boy. He thought he'd be happy about the fact that Abihiko was distracted with someone else and not annoying him all the time, but in reality -- he wasn't.

Being annoying was Abihiko's greatest flaw. But it was a flaw that Nekohiko... didn't really mind that much. He always had room for being more annoyed by Abihiko, actually.

"Neko, Neko, Neko -- you're so slow! Stand up! Let me brush your hair or we'll be here for hours! Come on, dummy! My love life is on the line!"

Wait.

No.

He had no room for being more annoyed by Abihiko. No room at all.

Once again, Abihiko reached out to rub Nekohiko's face with a wet towel instead of allowing him to do a proper cleanup in the baths. And once again, Nekohiko had an urge to bite his fingers off.

"Hey! I just want you to look presentable! No need to bite!" Abihiko growled at him, then lifted his right-hand knuckle to Nekohiko's face. "Look. Look what you did to me! See these bite marks? Are you an animal?"

Nekohiko studied the pale hand with an old scar -- the faintest imprint of someone's teeth in a crescent shape behind the thumb. Oh yes, he had made it, he remembered.

It had been a couple of years back when the two of them were stranded in the woods, scared for their lives, tied to one another with the Fox Thread, and Abihiko had totally deserved it.

Thinking back to that day, Nekohiko felt his lips thinning in a smile.

"Oh, you smile at it, too?" Abihiko blustered. "You are an animal, after all."

Rather than reply, Nekohiko jerked the collars of his robes off his left shoulder to expose the sallow skin. Right across his thin shoulder, a different kind of a crescent mark of someone's teeth popped up, even though it had faded with time.

"You left your bite on me too," he began, but Abihiko interrupted him, recoiling.

"Stop that! Inappropriate! I don't want to see any girl body parts like this, you shameful woman!" he cried, turning aside, pale. "Cover yourself!"

...

Ah.

Yes. Sometimes Nekohiko forgot. They had been growing up lately and the boy-girl friendships were getting more uncomfortable with each year. He had just exposed a bit too much skin. A part of his chest area showed. It was flat, of course, as any boy's chest would be, but there existed many flat-chested girls as well, so it was still hard to tell at this age. No wonder Abihiko would be so freaked out...

Numb, Nekohiko covered himself up. "Sorry. I didn't mean to..."

"As all Imperial Majesties, you are so predatory -- constantly attempting to seduce and corrupt the innocent pretty boys like myself! Ah, so pushy of you!" Abihiko teased him to Nekohiko's further aggravation.

Yet it also allowed the whole incident to be quickly swept under the rug.

Only when Abihiko made sure Nekohiko was ready to go out did he leave Nekohiko's small room through the window. At least he had enough dignity to not barge in and out through the door so that everybody would see. Not that it helped with "the rumors".

At the pubescent stage, a boy and a girl sleeping together every night was... quite risque, he supposed. If only Nekohiko cared.

As usual, he met a few dismissive glares at him when he passed the huddled girls in the galleries leading to the outer cloister. His and Abihiko's classmates all wore yellows this year, as the third year at Izumo signified. One could choose the particular shade, but the base color had to be the same for everyone in each year:

Fresh, pale green for firsts, darker greens for the second-years, yellows for the third. Then orange, red, and purple. Notably, Abihiko looked forward to the later three years the most. He already fantasized about wearing red three years in a row starting with next year because, quote --

"Coral is an orangy red and purple is... just dark red. I'll be dazzling and turning everyone's heads in red for three whole years when my time truly comes. You'll see!"

He didn't look that bad in amber-yellow either. At least according to himself.

Abihiko's yellow-clothed monstrosity ran into Nekohiko at the gates, sweeping him into an embrace to haul him down the cedar alley and toward Izumo town. The two of them fought and tackled each other most of their road down, so by the time they were at the entrance to some strange restaurant Abihiko was hauling Nekohiko into -- they were flushed, sweaty, and in utter disarray of clothes and hair.

But that didn't bother Abihiko much. He claimed he was even more irresistible when blushing or roughed-up. 

Nekohiko snapped his sleeves straight in exasperation, then followed Abihiko inside. "What breakfasts do they serve?"

Since their friendship summoned incessant gossip among their peers, they seldom ate breakfast in the School canteen. Luckily, Abihiko knew all the best restaurants in Izumo town, so Nekohiko never went hungry for too long.

Instead of an answer, Abihiko elbowed Nekohiko in the side, then dragged him into a dark, intensely-perfumed main hall of a very bizarre establishment. People weren't eating here. Not primarily, at least.

Older, respectable-looking men and only a few women sat on the couches and chairs in one section of the hall while in the other, much younger women and men were lounging or walking around as though demonstrating some goods Nekohiko couldn't see.

Further into the establishment, Nekohiko glimpsed tables and customers drinking while the same attractive young people seemed to... be entertaining them with jokes or music or... flattery as they nudged their clients to buy themselves more drinks?

What a bizarre restaurant.

"Ah, young master and young... lady!" The owner of the place came over, brimming with zeal. "A great day for a companionship meal, isn't it?"

Companionship meal? Nekohiko gave the man a perplexed stare, but Abihiko only waved the man off. "Yeah, yeah, we're choosing."

"As it pleases you!" The man bowed, shuffling away.

"Do you like anyone here?" Abihiko asked Nekohiko with a secretive smile. "We have to order to go to the tables."

Mmm?

"I would like a rice cake and some milk?" Nekohiko said, confused.

"We have to order people. Not food."

To Nekohiko's dismay, Abihiko pointed at the section of the main hall in which the younger people were hanging out as though advertising something. They were advertising themselves, Nekohiko realized.

Everything in him went wooden and squirmy.

"I mean, I know who I will order to get us a table," Abihiko went on. "But you also have to order someone--"

"Can't I just sit at your table?"

Abihiko's mien went sour. "No? Because if you sit there, I won't be able to talk to him. And I want to have a truly nice conversation with him. You will only be a third wheel, come on." He nodded toward a small group of young cute men, most of which were probably around fifteen to sixteen. "Pick one out and he'll serve you any meal on the menu at his table. Except for Iwaki. You can't pick him."

And Abihiko gave Nekohiko an overjoyous little smile as though he was ready to fly up from so much happiness filling him.

Nekohiko turned to the men, incredibly miserable. Which one was Iwaki, again?

He tried to pick one that looked the least threatening to him, a silent, un-annoying type, yes? With just a quick, disinterested glance, he decided on a young boy with long dark eyelashes lying on his cheeks from how demure and resigned his gaze was.

"That one... I guess."

Abihiko smacked him with an insane amount of force. "You guess?!" he fumed. "That is Iwaki, you dummy!"

Too angry, he couldn't help but want to torture Nekohiko for the mishap, so he called the owner and gave an order for himself and for Nekohiko both. "Iwaki for myself and..." he picked at random, sticking his finger at three different young women, each gigglier and bustlier than the previous one. "This, this and this one for my friend over here!"

"So, um... you each order people of your own gender, is that correct?" the owner asked, only a little bit baffled.

"Yeah, and so what? We're still thirteen," Abihiko snapped at him. "Next time, make sure to wash your thoughts before you make weird assumptions about innocent kids, maybe?"

Loud talk for someone with a mind as "unwashed" as Abihiko's. He abandoned Nekohiko with the noisy, animated young ladies each of whom smelled like the most cloying perfume in the world, and quickly took the lead for him and Iwaki going to their table in the farthest -- and darkest -- corner of the dining hall.

While most people here did nothing but talk, it still made Nekohiko uncomfortable with how silvery and generous Abihiko's laughter was when he and Iwaki talked and talked... for hours, it seemed.

The two didn't even touch the meals they'd been brought! Which made no sense whatsoever. This was a restaurant, yes? A weird one, but a restaurant nonetheless!

Why would people not eat here? And why would the three women Abihiko had ordered for Nekohiko -- not let him eat his rice cake and drink his milk in peace, either?

"Ah, the young mistress is so cute!"

Whatever. I'm eating.

"Young mistress's hair is so silky and smooth. I can't help but want to run my fingers through it!"

Please don't. Thanks.

"And the young mistress's skin is so tender, ah!"

Like from an open flame, Nekohiko blanched away. His hands curled into fists against his will. Just one more unwanted touch, and he would pounce at the horrible woman for even thinking she could.

Gods, however small her touch had been, it still made him writhe in disgust.

"So sorry, young mistress, forgive me!" the woman cried, also drawing back.

He rubbed his cheek clean off her lingering warmth. "I dislike it when people touch me. So please refrain from doing that," he gritted out, then aggressively downed another glass of milk.

"...oh? But the young master touched you plenty," the smallest of the three ladies cooed, saddened. "You were twining fingers and he even caressed your face when you two came in."

Huh?

What? When?!

Belatedly, but Nekohiko recalled it. Indeed, when he and Abihiko had walked into the establishment, Abihiko poked his fingers into Nekohiko's cheeks to lift them up as though to make fun of his grouchy expression.

And, while irritated, Nekohiko still hadn't minded that.

How odd. How... mundane, really.

"Nobody's hands may touch me. Except for his," Nekohiko mumbled into his glass.

"Tsk, aawww."

"How romantic..."

Romantic? What did it have to do with anything romantic? Pfff.

Yet Nekohiko still realized that what he had allowed Abihiko to do to him, he would never allow anyone else. Holding hands with Abihiko never evoked the skin-creeping disgust in him anymore, and neither did brushing each other's hair... But what about it was romantic? He would still not allow Abihiko to touch anything else of him.

And Abihiko probably wouldn't allow him to touch his other parts as well. Just take the incident this morning, with the shoulder.

Clearly, there was nothing romantic about this kind of relationship!

But the ladies kept murmuring among each other and daring to commiserate with Nekohiko.

"I wonder if the young mistress is sad her suitor is so far away and has an unfortunate inclination toward the boys, ah."

Yes, and you too.

Wait. What?

Nekohiko coughed when his milk got in the wrong pipe in his throat.

"My suitor?" he said, putting away his milk glass, staring before him in dead confusion.

The ladies chortled, pointing with their fans to that shadowy corner in which Abihiko and Iwaki sat, leaning to each other as though they had some secrets they needed to share. One of the ladies jabbed Nekohiko in his side.

"A young woman can find enjoyment in two pretty young men being together, too. Ah, little sister, just you wait and you will know all the joys of appreciating men from a safe distance, o-ho-ho!"

Nekohiko didn't bother to respond to that, although the two of the ladies joined in on the giggles.

All he did was watch.

Abihiko reached out to Iwaki and inclined his head toward his and...

Nekohiko knew the exact name of what was happening. A kiss. He'd experienced it himself about two years ago and he didn't like it.

But now that he looked back to it, he found it strange that he didn't mind it either. In comparison, he very much minded what was going on with Abihiko's and Iwaki's mouths right this moment. He would rather... they didn't.

He would rather they stopped. Right now.

The irritation he felt was harsher than any he'd felt before. It wasn't heartache like he'd read many young people experienced when they were jealous. It wasn't quickening of his pulse from the vicarious experience or the hidden exhilaration of pleasure.

No. It was more like... disliking himself, most of all. As though it was somehow Nekohiko's fault he wasn't in Iwaki's place. As though he was lesser and inherently flawed and therefore unwelcome in the circle of excitement all this... love and romance stuff signified.

Wasn't he Abihiko's best friend? Why would Abihiko not only take him here but also make him... watch this nonsense?

Gods, he realized. Was this what Abihiko did to all the other boys he moped around for?

In one smooth movement, Nekohiko put down his chopsticks, bowed to the ladies who had sat with him all this time, then stood up and went for the doors.

Yet this wasn't even the worst thing that happened to him during this day. The worst was that Abihiko hadn't noticed him leaving for quite a long time.

And Nekohiko felt every last hour of that time deeply enough that, at last, his heart began to ache in the most obnoxious way imaginable.

He hated it.

***

As the days and weeks crept by, Nekohiko grew very much used to Abihiko's desire to run around with boys and even young men older than himself. One such "oldie" was a very rich young aristocrat who stayed in Izumo town for a few months. While wasting all his time on that pompous bag of money, Abihiko sometimes didn't even need to come back to Nekohiko's room to sleep.

At all.

Not that it mattered, but still...

Apparently, he didn't even sleep in the Shrine School lately. So, Nekohiko guessed, he simply didn't need Nekohiko's room now.

And maybe, he simply didn't need Nekohiko in his life either. He had other commitments and other, funner things to do.

Well. Great.

More time for Nekohiko to study and sleep his head off in the blissful solitude of his own, personal space he was no longer sharing with anyone. A cold, eerily-quiet space in which Nekohiko discovered how cold early spring days could truly be. He hadn't realized it before, even in the heart of winter, because Abihiko was like a tiny heating pot next to him. If anything, lying next to Abihiko had always felt hot and maybe even sweaty rather than comfortable.

Yet now, even the memory of something so gross as Abihiko's sticky, sweaty elbow smacking Nekohiko in the face every so often made Nekohiko forlorn.

"Ah, what an amazing day Shikamoto and I had!" Abihiko gushed the moment he stumbled in through the door one morning. He hadn't even bothered to go through the window because of how little he cared about his and Nekohiko's little arrangement in Izumo.

And that made it so much worse.

"He told me the funniest joke--"

"Get out."

"Ehh?"

"I'm busy, can't you see?" Nekohiko pointed at the fat tome about Binding history of the Fourth Emperor on his lap. "Your stupid chatter will distract me, so please go away. Go back to Yaeshi, or Shikamoto, or Tsuro, or Iwaki, or Oikiri, or... whoever else. Bother them with your nonsense. They would probably appreciate it."

Abihiko leaned on the closed door, giving Nekohiko a perplexed stare. "Who are all those people, again?"

All of a sudden, Nekohiko flashed in a cold rage.

He knew that Abihiko hanged out with different boys every other week, but... to not even remember their names? And to have bothered Nekohiko with endless stories and anecdotes about all those people? And then to forget about them as soon as he dumped them?

The tome slammed closed in his hands. "Get out," he snarled. "Get out or I'll kick you out!"

"What's the matter with you? I just made a joke to lighten up your mood. You looked so sulky--"

"This is my room! What are you even doing here?"

A flicker of understanding crossed Abihiko's face. "Ahh. I get it. It's that time of the girls' life the other boys had warned me about so much. I told them they were insane, but now I see... The girls' bodies change during puberty and their moods get really cranky on some days. I always thought it was a myth, but--"

Abihiko barely managed to duck when the 'Binding History of the Fourth Emperor' flew into his head.

"Hey!" he cried, paling.

"GET OUT!" Nekohiko's voice broke in tension. "Go hell knows where -- I don't give a damn. These last few nights you were gone, and it was the best time in my life! At last, getting rid of you!"

"Are you nuts?! That book could totally kill people!"

"Good enough for me if I never see you again," Nekohiko blurted out, sinking back to the floor and turning to the window.

The silence hung for a few seconds, ringing with tension.

"...is that so?" At last, Abihiko chuckled in a grim manner. "All right. Great..."

He fumbled for the door, audibly fuming with stifled breaths.

"Great! Don't bother coming back, too," Nekohiko added, to which Abihiko could only respond with a dark glare.

The door slammed shut behind him.

Hot with frustration, Nekohiko turned back to the window just to see something other than the lonely, empty room.

And though he had vented all of his frustration at him, Nekohiko didn't feel good about it afterward.  Neither his sadness dissipated, nor his anger. And the more days passed, the more all his emotions evolved into full-blown rage.

He was seething.

He woke up one day to go and see what the hell Abihiko had been doing these last two days during which he hadn't come to classes, wasn't seen by any of their classmates, and hadn't bothered to even find Nekohiko to tell him "hi! Are you still alive? Good! I am, so you don't have to worry. Bye!" What else were friends for if not this?

Nekohiko was so worked up that he didn't care to go to classes either. Currently, there weren't many people in the Shrine because of the wilderness survival exams the fourth years were passing. Most of the teachers had to leave to go with them on survival hiking in the Nagare mountains. The event was yearly and so highly important that nobody wanted to miss it.

So the remaining teachers weren't many, and a few of the disciples shirked classes because nothing of worth would be taught at this time anyway. Abihiko was one such student. Who would even notice if Nekohiko was added to their midst for one day?

Huffy, he ghosted past the Izumo entrance gates into the Izumo town. The day had only just begun, so there weren't many people outside and nobody gave Nekohiko second glances as he marched down the main street to the lavish inn where the last money-bag aristocrat stayed and where, presumably, Abihiko was spending most of his nights and days.

Nekohiko mimicked Abihiko's behavior in dealing with the inn servants -- acting lordly and disinterested so they would leave him be -- and went straight to the innkeeper.

"Please call Master Abihiko down," Nekohiko said dryly and turned away indicating that this was it, and he'd said everything he needed.

But the innkeeper didn't understand. "There is no Master Abihiko staying in this establishment," he mumbled, uncertain.

"He was staying with that Lord... Shikamoto," Nekohiko offered with distaste. "Please send someone to Lord Shikamoto's room and they will find Master Abihiko there, I am sure."

The innkeeper's jowls shook as he flapped his arms in negation. "Oh, my dear Lady Binder, but Lord Shikamoto has left this inn a week ago! So I do not know what to tell you about Master Abihiko, truly."

Nekohiko's stomach dropped.

He showed with his hands the approximate height. "He's a boy my age, this tall, with shoulderblade-length hair like mine. He wears the brightest yellow and--"

"Yes, yes. I know of him." The innkeeper smiled as though to a pleasant idea. But shook his head nonetheless. "Haven't seen him in days."

This shouldn't be so worrisome, right? Abihiko could take care of himself. He was a free soul who loved fun, adventures, maybe even danger -- because all these things allowed him to use his powers unrestrained.

But as Nekohiko hurried back to Izumo Shrine, he couldn't help but remember this one unlucky time when Abihiko had been taken advantage of. When the only reason Abihiko hadn't been in grave danger to his life was that Nekohiko was there beside him, tied to him by the Fox Thread.

What if... this was the same type of situation?

What if Abihiko was all alone somewhere and... taken advantage of, again? Unlikely, but...

It wouldn't hurt to check.

"Teacher Kumikata?" Nekohiko followed after the plump little woman whose height was now even lower than Nekohiko's growing body. "I wonder if you could help me locate a student... His life might be in danger."

"How old is the student?" was the first and most obvious question to ask.

And Nekohiko knew why. So that they could dismiss the question outright.

"Thirteen," he said, already defeated.

Kumikata snapped the roll of her manuscript closed then gave Nekohiko a condescending smile. "Then his life is in no danger, sweetie. Until sixteen, Binders would never really be in danger."

"Yes, but--"

"We can send dummies to find him. Let me walk you to the Dummy maintenance office," Kimukata said and tried to take Nekohiko's elbow.

He avoided her, anxious. Dummies? Dummies were crap at finding people! Especially people whose presence somebody insidious would want to mask against such an obvious and pathetic thing as a Seeker Dummy!

"I don't know the high-level Hira spell for tracking the heart heat of a specific person," he began. "And I can't really use the Hisome method of a guiding path toward someone." The only seal he had opened thus far was Nagare. Any of the other complex house techniques were closed off to him. "But you could, yes? Please, let us just--"

"Honey." Kumikata gave him a more annoyed glance now. "Your boyfriend is probably hiding somewhere with his crushes. Please do not behave in this undignified manner. It doesn't befit a young lady to stalk a young man with spells, you see. Besides, young Master Abihiko is an incredibly powerful Binder." She leaned close to Nekohiko's face, all pity and motherly care in her eyes. "Do not embarrass yourself like this, Kitten. No man is worth that--"

"Please just find Abihiko and I'll deal with the embarrassment of it later! On my own!"

The empty gallery they were in was silent as a marsh graveyard.

Probably because nobody had witnessed Nekohiko lose his temper in public like this before. Even Nekohiko himself. But he couldn't do anything about it.

His insides churned at the thought of Abihiko being harmed and... no, he couldn't even begin to think about this!

"Well. The Head Priest and the other teachers will return to Izumo tomorrow, so you can just wait for them and ask them to help you then," Kumikata said much less warmly. "Provided that your problem would still stand by tomorrow. Knowing Abihiko's habits... I'd say he'll be here sooner than that."

Nekohiko didn't need to listen more. Not even for politeness' sake.

He pelted down the gallery and stopped only when he ran into the central cloister. And only then -- because he had no idea where to go now and what to do. And whom to call.

He felt utterly lost.

A high-level Hisome Binder? Or a high-level Hira Binder? Who -- almost everyone truly skilled was gone from the Shrine!

Except for...maybe...

Ugh.

Anyone but him.

Except, there wasn't anyone but him, was there?

***

Heart heavy and feet leaden, Nekohiko came to the door to one of the private dorms in the inner courtyards. He knocked on it lightly, then stepped aside to wait.

He didn't have to wait long.

The prettiest face known to humanity peeked from beyond the door and smiled at Nekohiko sweetly, head tilted just a bit in greeting.

"Ah, the adorable young Lady who had once attacked me!" Morokata crooned, dragging the door wider for Nekohiko. "Please, please, come in!"

Nekohiko stared deep into the room where the silhouette of a young woman limned barely visible, obstructed by Morokata's figure.

He gulped, gathering his courage.

"Lord Morokata, I assume Lady Towa Iokirihime is with you now, yes? Good." His voice trembled but he forced it to squeeze out what he wanted -- nay, needed -- to say next. "I need your and Lady Iokirihime's help.

"Please."

Queenfisher

Hah, the boys are growing up and so their dynamic changes as well +_+. The innocent era ended and now it's teen angst and love and stuff and I am not drawing them as chibis anymore. Sorry! I wanted to, really did -- but the chibis make it seem as though they're still kids and they're actually teens from now on. It seems a bit odd especially when all the heavier romantic stuff starts...

Once they're adults, though, I might start drawing them as fluff chibis once again because by then, everyone will naturally assume they're not kids anymore ^^. We'll see.

And Iokirihime in the end is the same chick whose army just attacked Kasuga in the present arc, just so you know ^^.