Chapter Sixty

Straight Panic¹A lame reference to the "Gay Panic" tropes, but I swapped it to "Straight Panic" instead due to the whole... Neko-looking-like-a-girl thing which obviously would confuse someone like Abihiko since he doesn't like girls ^^.

Part 1 of 3

 

It was almost the end of the fourth year in Izumo and the major exam was coming. The notoriously-known Binder's Trials in the wilderness to test the disciple's readiness to survive in any circumstances and under any duress using nothing but their Binding.

Suminoe told him it was still far enough that he had plenty of time to train, but as though that would help! That only made him worry so much more because Suminoe believed in him so.

Thus, Suminoe's new tactic seemed to be getting rid of Nekohiko. Perhaps he could no longer tolerate his endless questions and pleas to help him correct his Binding techniques? In any case, here they were -- in Nagare Lordship, getting off their Spirit fox-drawn carriage and dusting themselves off the road grime before going to meet the Lords with whom Nekohiko would spend next weeks training.

The meeting in the Doll House restaurant was half an hour ahead yet Suminoe had chosen to come early as any admirable man would. On the contrary, both the Sky Lords and Abihiko's party were not just late. They were abhorrently late, which Nekohiko should have foreseen. And so should have Suminoe.

The two of them sat rigidly and silently in their small niche inside the restaurant in one of the biggest port cities in Nagare -- the Peaceful Town²Or 名古屋 -- which is Nagoya. Since this city's proudest handicraft was automated doll dummies, Kazuragi had booked the dinner in the restaurant that was entirely served by dolls. To freak Nekohiko and Suminoe out?

Because it worked. Nekohiko winced and recoiled whenever another child-sized porcelain doll came over to bring the refreshments for his and Suminoe's drinks.

So aggrieved he was, he didn't greet Abihiko when the boy crashed into him from the side. Nekohiko only gave the merest of polite nods to Asazuma and Lord Okinaga who had brought Abihiko back after his short stay with his siblings back in Utsuro, but he refused to listen to Abihiko chatter about how awesome his blood family was or what he was doing there.

"I brought you apples I personally plucked from our orchards!" And Abihiko pushed one of the famous red apples into Nekohiko's hands.

Nekohiko sniffed and put it on the table. A blissful smile split Abihiko's face.

"Aww, but I missed you and your sour face so much! You kind of remind me of my little brother. He's just as grouchy as you are! But his biggest disadvantage is that Mom doesn't let me bully him. Unlike you!" Abihiko tried to grab Nekohiko's sides for tickling, but Nekohiko evaded him.

"Abihiko!" Lord Okinaga said. "Young men should not grope maidens."

Like thunder in the clear sky, Abihiko snapped still at the realization. Lately, it occurred to him more and more often.

"I wasn't groping," he said miserably.

"Of course you weren't. Nekohiko doesn't mind anyway," lady Asazuma jumped to his defense as she and Okinaga settled down to check out the menu. "Some maidens actually enjoy that, just so you know!"

The restaurant and this table in particular were getting too rowdy and crowded already, yet still more voices joined in on the conversation -- the last of the people who should have been here hours ago but weren't.

"Maidens enjoy what?" Kazuragi's brash voice blared from the entrance to the restaurant's niche.

Asazuma turned, a leer on her face. "Being groped, of course."

The instant his eyes fell on Asazuma, Kazuragi's expression turned from curious to sour. "Why does this not surprise at all, coming from you?"

With him, of course came Yakabe. And thus, the meeting was complete. Suminoe had told Nekohiko he'd planned it to end in a few short hours, and then -- Nekohiko and Abihiko would be given to the Lords of the Sky to keep for two weeks.

And Suminoe himself would travel back to Izumo together with Asazuma and Okinaga. And during their journey, he would tell those two the secret of Nekohiko's identity.

After all, he needed privacy to discuss such things with the Lords, and it would not be very secretive if he had invited them directly to Izumo. And besides, he wanted Okinaga's counsel away from Nekohiko so as not to put too much pressure on the young Emperor with the esteemed Lord's presence.

Nekohiko had agreed with every single point. What a great plan. And so smooth, too.

But the downside was that he and Suminoe had to spend an entire dinner in the presence of some of the loudest and most obnoxious people in the Empire.

Then again, Nekohiko had always wanted to see Suminoe interact with other people his age. From what he had heard about them all -- Okinaga, Asazuma, Kazuragi, and Suminoe had once been classmates in Izumo Shrine School. Exactly like Abihiko, Nekohiko, Sakami, and some other kids their age. Bonds like these were hard to ignore or forget. No?

Suminoe sat unfazed and untouched by any kind of noise or jokes or bickering that erupted at the table by turns. All he did was carefully and methodically pick up small bits of his meals with his chopsticks and fold them into his mouth. And he chewed with such magnificence and elegance, too!

Nekohiko could only gape in admiration.

"The Little Girl Festival³Hinamatsuri ^^ which is a Doll Festival, or otherwise called Girl Festival is celebrated early in spring. is next week," Asazuma remembered at some point, slapping the table with her palm. "I know I have to get my little Aomi to our local town to see fireworks at night and all the pretty Doll Parade in the morning! But I completely forgot that Nekohiko will also participate in the festivities over here!"

"I guess she will," Kazuragi said with a shrug, downing another cup of wine.

"You guess? You will be responsible for her and my son for two weeks!" Asazuma poked her fist into Kazuragi's side, making him choke on his drink. "You better make sure they have a lot of fun during their stay, you hear that, Snot Nose?"

"We will make sure. Nekohiko can even join the Doll Parade," Yakabe said, patting his husband on the back worriedly. "Our little Kasuga says it's so much fun, to be a doll for a day."

Asazuma winked at Nekohiko as though she had just gotten him the deal of a lifetime. "You're welcome."

Suminoe neatly packed up another bit of his beanstalks into his mouth.

All eyes belatedly turned to Nekohiko, to his dismay.

Kazuragi had the folded rice paper crown on his head that Asazuma had made and forced him to wear. Beside him, Yakabe and Okinaga looked not much better because the liquor they had been coerced into by Asazuma tinted their cheeks red and their eyes watery.

Suminoe's wine cup sat untouched by his plate, so of course he was a picture of primness compared to the rest of them. But out of all of them, Asazuma and Abihiko looked the most fantastical of all:

They both had had many drinks. And they both showed no sign of alcohol affecting them. At all. Whatsoever.

An eternal mystery.

"Yes, she will! Aaah, I have always been gone from Izumo during this time of year to see Neko in the Girl Parade!" Abihiko exclaimed, overly excited. "Now I'll get to see it." He leaned to Nekohiko, teasing. "Please tell me you will dress like the dolliest girl ever so I can mock you and laugh at you all through the festival."

He elbowed Nekohiko to point out the childlike doll waiter at the neighboring table. The doll looked neither male nor female, with hard, porcelain features that twisted into bizarre versions of human expressions because the doll's body was Bound to mimic people. The doll served the table, throwing its unseeing gazes at the guests and smiled in the freakiest way possible.

A shudder surged through Nekohiko just at the idea that he would dress or paint his skin to look like that. Or worse -- try to act in much the same uncanny, automated manner.

"Dolls are scary," Nekohiko said at last.

Abihiko smirked. "Not if they're cute. We'll make you the prettiest doll in the Parade, you'll see!"

Suminoe dabbed a napkin to his mouth gracefully. "This stay with Lords Kazuragi and Yakabe is meant for training, though. Not for fun. I hope both you and Nekohiko remember that."

"Mn," Yakabe said, solemn. "Of course."

But Abihiko only flapped his hand. "That's all Neko. She's the one who has bad Binding control. I am already good enough, and my self-restraint is legendary. I know I'll be learning something nobody else but Yakabe and Kazuragi can teach me," Abihiko said with the dreamiest smile on his face. "About how to properly date men, ah."

Lord Okinaga's intimidating glare could shatter mountains, Nekohiko could bet. Yet on Abihiko, it had only a marginal effect. Plus, Asazuma only laughed that much louder at her son's amusing quirks.

"Yes, you will, Abiko! Did you hear that, Snot Nose, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha?!"

"Please kill me," Kazuragi mouthed to Yakabe, his expression pleading and his eyes gleaming with first drunken tears. "Why have we ever agreed to this torture in the first place?"

Suminoe carefully managed another slice of pickled orange, ignoring everyone and everything.

Truly, such a role model for Nekohiko.

 

---

***

 

However, when it was time to part and go their separate ways after the dinner in the creepy restaurant had ended -- a tinge of melancholy clung to Nekohiko at the thought of staying behind while Suminoe went away. The evening had already descended, and the beautiful shade of purple colored the early spring air in hues of gentle sadness.

Suminoe led Asazuma and Okinaga away since they would all hitch the same ride out of this city, and in the lambent translucency of the dusk, the silhouettes of all three of these important, majestic people looked especially magical to Nekohiko as he watched them depart. Asazuma had waved back at him and at Abihiko some time ago, but since Abihiko had already become distracted by something else in the vicinity and couldn't wave his Mom goodbye for too long -- even her figure stopped glancing back soon enough.

And that, somehow, made Nekohiko only sadder.

The wine that he'd drunk during the dinner didn't help with his mood. He hadn't even wanted to drink it, but Abihiko had tricked him -- and made a huge deal out of it. And since Lord Okinaga had sipped a little, and then even Yakabe had taken a taste of the local wine -- Nekohiko ended up trying one for himself as well.

He had felt so ashamed about it, too, because Suminoe gave him such an impassive side-eye after that...

Being in an unfamiliar city, living hell knew where, being coerced into drinking, and dressing up as a doll next week, all while training alongside Abihiko who only had boys and dating on his mind?

To quote Lord Kazuragi -- please kill me now.

"You grew up quite a lot from the last time I've seen you two," Yakabe's quiet voice came from beside him.

Nekohiko turned. Yakabe indicated the street's wide expanse where Kazuragi and Abihiko had already strolled off to. They were going to the inn which Yakabe and Kazuragi had booked in the Peaceful for the duration of these two weeks. Nekohiko's new temporary home, apparently.

"Yeah," Nekohiko muttered. He tended to speak less often lately, simply to hide the fact that his voice was gradually lowering and becoming raspier with age.

So did Abihiko's voice, but surely nobody would mind that! More and more, Abihiko's breaking voice sounded like a fully-grown man's which was so weird, it lurched Nekohiko out of his thoughts every time he heard Abihiko speak at night in his sleep nowadays.

And don't get me even started on his aggravating adolescent laughter, Nekohiko thought vengefully as he watched Abihiko explode in chortling again. If as a little boy, Abihiko had sounded mean when he broke out in laughter, now he sounded deranged, even dangerous.

In a quick motion, Abihiko grabbed Kazuragi around the shoulders and--

...yep.

He headlocked the Lord of the Skies himself. A man twice as old as himself, though only a span taller.

"...did you just!" Kazuragi snarled, dodging the wicked strike and giving Abihiko a death glare. "Did you just dare to headlock me, you little brat!"

"Why not? How are you different from everyone else?" Abihiko went for another poke at Kazuragi, only to be wrestled away with a powerful maneuver. "And I'm not a little brat!"

"While you're under my care, you are, you little brat!"

Nekohiko couldn't help a weary glance at Yakabe. "What did you say about us growing up so much?"

But Yakabe was still smiling like all people enjoying little joys like the balmy breeze or the smells of sweets from a nearby stall. Even his husband's and Abihiko's little scuffle only seemed to improve his mood.

"I mean physically," he said. "Physically, you are both almost adult, aren't you?"

Physically...

Walking side by side with Yakabe who was such a tall, impressive man, Nekohiko realized that he himself... wasn't that much shorter. Even Suminoe no longer seemed as grand or imposing when he and Nekohiko stood next to one another. Such change had been gradual, so Nekohiko never really noticed until Yakabe's remark.

He was tall, and his limbs were longer than before, angular, gangly, not very well-proportioned. His fingers were slender, but still much rougher looking than a woman's. And his shoulders... wider than any girl's of his age.

Suddenly self-conscious, Nekohiko lifted his fingers to his cheek to caress the skin that would soon start showing his first facial hair. Not yet. But soon.

"The only thing that's missing is adult's powers," Yakabe went on, as tranquil as before. "But that will get sorted out after the Fourth year exam. You will be tested and tried, and you will find your worth. Don't you worry."

Nekohiko's voice quavered. "...but what if I don't pass it on the first try and have to redo it?"

"Well, that's my and Kazuragi's job these two weeks," Yakabe said simply. "To make absolutely sure you will pass."

Abihiko and Kazuragi argued something about the merchandise on display on the stalls and in the store windows they passed. Nekohiko walked beside Yakabe, enjoying the sights, the locals, the shops, the seaside air filled with brine, the twinkle of chimes on the eaves over the store entrances. Flurries of girls sometimes passed them by, all turning heads in the direction of Abihiko with how loud and noticeable he was being. Which only meant he was his usual self.

Their giggles and coy whispers to each other chased Nekohiko long after the girls disappeared into the crowd.

At some point during their walk by the shoreside cobble street, Kazuragi got too exhausted by Abihiko and drifted toward Yakabe. The two Lords didn't hold hands or link their elbows as most married couples did -- rather, they only walked with their shoulders sometimes touching, but other than that -- discreetly and content with only each other's proximity.

Left to his own devices, Abihiko naturally gravitated to Nekohiko. His first instinct, though, was to headlock Nekohiko, to which Nekohiko responded with a flurry of blows to topple Abihiko to the ground.

And with his usual glee, Abihiko took the bait. "Fight!" he laughed, tackling Nekohiko most of the way to the inn. "Fight!"

"Why are you announcing to others we are fighting?" Nekohiko panted, exchanging an occasional kick and at times a more complex martial arts maneuver. "People aren't blind."

"Eh! This town is so boring. Nobody is cheerleading or coaxing us to fight, so someone has to!"

But in the middle of all the wrestling matches, Abihiko still didn't miss a chance to leer and ogle some attractive youths they were passing. Some of them even responded with winks and "heyyy"-s, which only made Abihiko that much more excited to tackle Nekohiko to the ground. Perhaps to impress his potential dates?

Either way, disgusting.

 

---

***

 

The Moonlit Kois Jumping inn had no rooms -- but instead small cottages in secluded gardens behind waist-tall stone fences. Kazuragi had booked one of the bigger cottages that had two rooms, one -- in which he and Yakabe would sleep, and the other -- for the boys to share. And because the renter was Lord of the Skies himself, the innkeeper didn't even question the fact that an apparent girl was sleeping in the same room as a young boy. Didn't even care before he led the small party down the wooden bridges over the beautifully-raked gravel garden, then assigned several dummies and one human servant to take care of all the amenities inside the cottage.

So, great. The two weeks of Binding training with the Great Lord of the Sky! Nekohiko hadn't ever felt this uplifted.

"So what's up with this Peaceful Town?" Abihiko asked the Lords as he skittered across the rooms, pulling all the doors and screens open to have the wind from the garden howl freely through the cottage. "I would rather spend these weeks in Nagare city or castle, you know. Not in some random port city in the middle of Nagare nowhere..."

"This is the biggest and most important Nagare city, you brat," Kazuragi snapped.

Abihiko only shrugged. "Still, it's no Suzumegara." 

With a pacifying laugh, Yakabe descended the back porch of their cottage and stepped into the night-flower-scented, grassy garden. "We prefer not to spend too much time in Nagare capital unless it's for governmental purposes. Whenever we have a bit of free time, we go somewhere else."

"Eeeh? Why?"

Abihiko, as oblivious as usual.

Though Nekohiko wouldn't understand it either unless Suminoe had already explained it: Lord Kazuragi's family members didn't like Yakabe much. They had tried to dispose of him several times, so naturally, there was no good blood between Kazuragi and his family after that.

Ruling Nagare was one thing, and something Kazuragi couldn't ignore. But living alongside his hateful relatives -- was wholly another.

Even now, this reason was clear in Yakabe's hardening jawline and his avoidant gaze as he chose to change the topic. Nekohiko observed the two Lords, wondering about their life and what made these two stick together when so many forces wanted to pull them apart.

The Lords stepped close to one another in the center of the garden, then exchanged a cute little look between them. Yakabe turned away first, a subtle smile creasing his cheek.

"Did His Holiness tell you why you were given to us to train you before the exam? Or why you both have to participate in the training?"

Abihiko stopped beside Nekohiko, head cocked to the side. "Uhh? What're you talking about? I can take up anyone, including you two in a Binding battle--"

"I swear to Suzumegara, if you do not shut up and let smart people finish talking," Kazuragi roared, finger stabbing into Abihiko's direction, "I will--"

Yakabe raised his voice to a booming level. "It is because Nekohiko can't cast all the techniques yet and thus might fail the test due to her... circumstance." Once everyone quietened, he lowered his volume, too. "Your seals aren't lifted save for the Nagare one. Thus, you will fail simply because your Nagare is too powerful at the top levels and too insufficient on the lower levels to pass all the trials. In other words, on your own -- you will fail."

The truth stung.

But Nekohiko had accepted it some time ago. He was simply too powerful to control his magic when he strained it to solve problems it wasn't meant to solve. If he had access to other techniques, he would be able to manage it better. But not yet.

"Yet if you steal Binding from another person, you can succeed. Plus, there are more ways to combine your magic with another person's. Other than stealing," Yakabe said, suddenly excited.

Nekohiko's attention perked up.

"Other ways...?"

"Mn." Yakabe held up his palm toward Kazuragi's chest. "People can be Bound, too."

...

What?

Even Abihiko's mouth went ajar. "Excuse me?"

"It is a bit hard to explain--" Yakabe began.

"In short, two Binders can Bind... their very Binding together," Kazuragi said reluctantly. "I know it sounds stupid, but that's just how it works. All Binding is the manipulation of Spirits which consent to aid you in whatever you mean to do with them, right? Well, humans have their own Spirits. And they can aid you just as any other Spirit can." He went quiet, a disdainful huff on his lips. "Provided that they consent, of course."

"Consent..." Abihiko repeated, dazed.

"It's just trusting in each other," Yakabe said. "That you won't hurt each other. That you won't abuse each other. That you can let go and trust your very self to another to do what they please with you. And them reciprocating to the fullest. Like this."

His palm sunk into Kazuragi's chest then went through. And as though he were Binding himself through a wall of stone or a tree, Yakabe went into Kazuragi and then out.

Just... like casually walking through a sheet of water!

And Kazuragi had allowed that!

Nekohiko couldn't even understand how could a Binder phase through another Binder while keeping both their essences and bodies and... minds intact! Binding oneself through another Binder wasn't akin to gallivanting through stone or other inanimate objects. One would never really worry about the constitution of the said wooden or stone object. The Binder should only worry about keeping themselves intact, which was how Binding through most materials was so easy to do.

But if done through a live person...

You would have to worry about both of your essences at the same time. Most people's minds couldn't even empathize with fellow humans let alone be able to care about them just as strongly as they would about themselves. Even lovers and parents couldn't "actually" care about their loved ones like they cared about themselves.

One's perception of "I" as opposed to "Other" would always dominate.

"What the hell!" Abihiko breathed, rapt. "Do that again! That is so amazing!"

"Yes, it is," Yakabe said with a proud little smile like sharing a secret.

Yet instead of repeating the same thing, Kazuragi and Yakabe suddenly broke into a fight...

Wait, no. It was more like a dance?

Or a fight? Nekohiko was too bewildered to say for sure. He only watched as the two Lords flung around each other, pirouetting, and flying, and striking and blocking each other's blows.

And right amidst all this martial arts prowess, there was something much more fascinating going.

Yakabe and Kazuragi could Bind each other's limbs, change their bodies into one another's right in the middle of a complex technique, and enhance each of their strikes and dodges by borrowing aspects from one another. As easy as breathing, Kazuragi gave his strength to Yakabe, Yakabe traded it for Kazuragi's velocity, Kazuragi exchanged his area of vision for Yakabe's axis of bodily balance...

It was insane.

But also strikingly-beautiful.

Nekohiko had never seen two people work in such complete synchronicity -- it was as though they were one individual, just split to exist in two bodies. They were, indeed, Binding each other like they would any random Spirit... Yet they were humans. Beings incapable of servitude and abandoning their free will for another.

He found it hard to even comprehend what he was seeing.

But he clapped very loudly along with Abihiko when the two Lords finally finished their demonstrative lesson.

"Hells, this is simply... beyond words!" Abihiko gushed, heaving with over-excitement. "Anyone can do that, really?!"

"Mn." Yakabe was a bit out of breath at first, but Kazuragi simply Bound their breathing to be synchronized. And then, it was. He didn't even have to ask Yakabe to Bind the rhythm of his breathing, which further blew Nekohiko's mind.

He didn't even need to ask him -- this was how in tune they were!

"As long as you can trust oneself fully to another person, you can do all this too," Yakabe ended. "The level of trust is of course different for everyone, and ours is higher than most people's would naturally be..."

"No shit!"

"Shut up, you brat, and listen!" Yakabe lashed out at him only to freeze in place, his eyes wide with shock at his own words. But he quickly recovered from that. He turned to Kazuragi, hands raised in a silent rebuke. "Kazu..."

"Sorry! I think I forgot some of my aspects in you," Kazuragi mumbled guiltily, leaning playfully toward Yakabe to Bind vague traces of mood and habits out of his lover.

He planted a chaste kiss on Yakabe's forehead as he did, but that, of course, was a separate thing from Binding.

"In any case," Yakabe continued, "you two can do some of the lower Binding exchanges if you train for them next two weeks. Since you already have an affinity to trust one another... I think it's a great way to start."

"Mn!" Nekohiko stood up straighter already.

Frankly, Nekohiko was trembling with anticipation because some of the simpler Mutual Binding techniques looked like something he and Abihiko could definitely pull off! Like sharing a limb or two, or planning a complex martial arts move telepathically. Or enhancing each other's speed and power? Yes, please! And it was something Abihiko hadn't ever done himself either, so that made the other boy eager, too!

These two weeks suddenly became much more riveting than he had expected.

But of course Abihiko had to ruin it all.

"I just realized," the boy said, stunned. "One can totally use Binding during sex, can't they? The amount of stuff and sensation enhancement it can achieve is just mind-bogglin--"

"Hey, hey, hey!" Kazuragi exploded.

"N-no," Yakabe pled meekly, slicing his own throat with the flat of his palm. "Nonono. Let's... not... go there, Abihiko."

"Uh? Why not?" Abihiko furrowed his brow, deep in thought. "So I was right in that I will definitely learn something great for my dating skills these weeks. I just did. Oh, Nagare Lords are truly so inspiring."

Kazuragi didn't bother to snap at him again. He simply closed his eyes and ground his jaw beneath his skin, leaning heavily onto Yakabe.

"I... need some rest. I need water. I need... just quiet, for some time. His mother will kill me. I know it. I can already feel it coming," he moaned. "Please, please, relieve me from this torment."

"Shhh. I'll make you some tea," Yakabe told him as Kazuragi slowly slid to the ground against his body. "Just come back to the house and we can rest."

"Mmmm. Yes, carry me, I'm so sick," Kazuragi complained.

"You're not that sick." Yakabe sighed but took him in his arms regardless and went with him back toward the cottage.

"I am. Very sick. That brat will be the death of me, I swear."

Kazuragi's disordered mumblings soon disappeared into the house that lit up with dozens of lanterns upon Yakabe entering.

"Aww, don't leave! I promise I'll behave!" Abihiko yelled after them.

All of a sudden, Nekohiko couldn't bear him anymore. He punched him in the side, angry.

"Hey! That hurt."

"Can you think of something other than sex for just a little while?"

"...uh? When have I thought only about sex?"

Oh please.

"I don't know. Ask all those boys you flirted with on the way here, maybe?"

Seriously, this last year was kind of frustrating as far as Abihiko's interests went. It wasn't that he was obsessed with relationships and dating as many boys and girls were in this age, but... it wasn't interesting or relatable to Nekohiko. At all. So most times, he ended up feeling like an outsider. Like a person who didn't belong on this feast of life and never would.

It was fine feeling like he didn't belong with the other people. But it hurt when it slowly started feeling like he didn't belong with Abihiko either.

Boys, boys, boys. Even tonight, how many times had Abihiko craned his neck to give another cute boy they passed a seductive smirk or a suggestive comment?

Was he so drunk he couldn't even respect his elders to not talk about boys for a moment?

But instead of feeling shamed, Abihiko gave him another of his condescending smirks. "Boys? Flirted? Ah, don't be jealous, Neko. This place is kind of a dump. Not many pretty boys in the vicinity. Most of them, I wouldn't date even if I was dying of thirst."

Don't be jealous?

Nekohiko wasn't jealous. Only annoyed.

"I was only being nice. Making others feel appreciated is nice for them and for me."

"Yeah, but what did 'oh, Binding will be so useful in sex!' all about, then?" Nekohiko grumbled on. "Or is it also to make some people feel appreciated, I wonder?"

"Ah. Well, some of us are human, Neko. It's called puberty. I swear it's natural for most boys and girls to think about these things every once in a while, only I doubt you will ever experience it yourself, so you just have to trust me on this--"

It was only his usual teasing.

Nekohiko had returned statements like this at Abihiko for years. But for some reason, now he couldn't. Alcohol was to blame, he thought to himself before he struck.

Whenever unable to retort verbally -- attack.

He swung a round kick under Abihiko's knees, but even tipsy, Abihiko easily foresaw the sucker move. He jumped out of the way, already using the ground aspects of solidity for his Binding counterattack. His own leg smashed into Nekohiko's side --

-- and their brawling began. This time, it was much more serious and creative compared to what they'd done while walking down the Peaceful's streets.

Yet at the same time, no less fun.

A few minutes into their usual sparring match, Abihiko flung his fur coat off into the grass. The early spring evenings were as bone-chilling as late winter, but of course fighting made up for that. Nekohiko stripped to his School uniform, too, and sprang back into action.

Like flashes of fire, his Fourth Year orange robes swept through the nightly air only to meet the flaming orange-reds of Abihiko when their attacks connected and were deflected easily.

"Damn, you suck so bad," Abihiko mocked him. "That's probably because you can't see well with your stupid hair flying into your eyes all the time, mm?"

True. When Nekohiko began the more grueling attack sequences, his hair blocked his view and aggravated him. How much easier had it been when his hair was shorter?

"The true reason why I always wear ponytails," Abihiko whispered, sticking his thumb at his own head. "So I can kick everyone's ass with as little effort as possible at any given moment. Like yours, for example."

"Keep talking," Nekohiko threw at him and fell back to tie his hair into a loose ponytail of his own with a cord. "Keep hiding the fact that you cannot defeat me once the hairstyle playing-field is evened out."

The lights in the garden emphasized the faint sheen of sweat on Abihiko's skin and his unabashed grin as he cocked his chin. "I think it might be the other way around. I was kind of reluctant to hit such a cute girl in the face before now. But with your hair pulled back... what a strong jawline you have, Neko. Makes me feel I'm fighting a boy, actually."

"Sure, Abihiko. Because you, of all people, would never, never hit a girl."

"Not a cute girl, at least."

With a roar, Nekohiko launched himself into a full-blown frenzy of strikes. Abihiko parried another of his double cross-attack with his forearms.

"Let's try some of the Double Binding techniques!" he cried, only slightly out of breath. "Come on, I think we trust one another enough to make it!"

"No."

Abihiko drew back, baffled. "Why not?"

"Maybe tomorrow. Not tonight," Nekohiko replied, decisive. "Tonight, I just want to kick the shit out of you."

He couldn't explain why, but this was how it was. And probably, it had very little to do with alcohol, after all.

"Pfff, yeah, go ahead. Aggressive drunk, aren't you?" Abihiko blurted, then sidestepped out of Nekohiko's way to seize him and push his feet from under him and topple him to the ground.

But on the ground, Nekohiko felt much steadier. He squirmed out of Abihiko's grip and headlocked him instead.

"My signature move!" Abihiko screamed, outraged. "You swine!"

The two of them tumbled to the side again, with Abihiko ending up at the top, laughing. Nekohiko gasped, then tried to shove him away. What a mess of limbs and spitting mouths! Hard to tell who was winning or losing, partly because it was all a joke to Abihiko... as usual.

But the fun ended very abruptly.

One moment Abihiko was crushing him down from the above, and the other -- something changed. Abihiko's muscles tensed up under Nekohiko's grip, yet his motions became sloppy. Instead of laughing, he went silent in a flash.

And Nekohiko didn't waste his chance. In one dizzying rush, he slammed Abihiko on the ground instead and quickly straddled him.

Underneath him, Abihiko looked eerily pale and wide-eyed. He hadn't resisted at all, only staring at Nekohiko in some sort of an immense shock. Nekohiko kind of knew why.

Adolescent boys' bodies sometimes had quite physical reactions to tumble-games, and those weren't easy to hide. Like right now. From all the struggling and growling and sweating together, Abihiko had become... somewhat visibly overexcited. But it was no big deal.

Nekohiko had had random non-morning-related boners himself and thought very little about them. He was certain they had nothing to do with arousal because he hadn't experienced such urges once in his lifetime.

But Abihiko's face looked genuinely horrified at the idea. So Nekohiko took pity on him and pretended he didn't see or feel anything in their lower regions.

But he still wanted to gloat. So he did, leaning forward to whisper into Abihiko's ear. "I won."

Abihiko's eyes fluttered closed for a second. With difficulty, he swallowed amidst his hastened panting, then stared up at Nekohiko once more.

Only this time, vivid patches of red bloomed across his skin, and his eyes burned with something like anger.

"Get off me," he croaked.

"Tsk, ahh. Not until you acknowledge that you lost and I won," Nekohiko told him in a near-perfect quote of Abihiko's from a few years back.

"Get. off. me," Abihiko spat. Rudely, he pushed Nekohiko off and sat upright, still flustered and miserable-looking. Yet he didn't drag the awkward scene for too long, already getting to his feet. "Whatever."

"So it's whatever when you lose but a life-and-death importance when I lose?" Nekohiko scoffed, a swell of content inside him from proving Abihiko wrong so magnificently tonight.

But contrary to how it usually went, this time, Abihiko didn't argue. He simply went inside the cottage, leaving Nekohiko all by himself in the garden.

 

---

***

 

The night wasn't that much different because, whether because of his foul mood after losing or the alcohol veil finally subsiding and leaving him blue, but Abihiko kept quiet all through the evening. And later, too, when it was time to go to bed.

So cranky he was, he even dragged his bed mattress to the other corner of the room from Nekohiko's. Not that Nekohiko minded. He would get fewer elbows and knees in his sides tonight. What's not to love?

It was unsettlingly quiet, though, when he was falling asleep, then through the night and well into the morning.

Nekohiko only realized it was too quiet when he woke up so fresh and well-rested, he was, frankly, dumbfounded that nothing had disturbed him during his sleep.

Not Abihiko's sleep-talking, nor his sleep-walking, nor his sleep-fighting.

The first sickly rays of morning sun sieved through the silk screens, coloring their small room murky and drab. Nekohiko slowly uncurled from his bed, feeling tinny in his head and woolen in his limbs.

No alcohol. Ever, he decided. Suminoe was right. Nothing good came from drinking spirits!

Had he been very moody yesterday? He hoped not more than usual, otherwise, he was scared his impression on the Sky Lords couldn't have been very pleasant.

His gaze fell on Abihiko in his own corner. The boy's features looked slightly drained and gaunt as though he hadn't slept at all at night and only managed to catch some rest recently.

Careful, Nekohiko leaned to him to check if perhaps he was ill.

But as he did, Abihiko jolted himself awake. His breathing was shallow already, but it only quickened when he saw Nekohiko so close to him.

A horrid splash of red climbed up his neck to his cheeks and into his pale ears amidst his scattered, long hair strands. Abihiko squinted at the windows, vexed, then curled deeper in his blankets.

"What are you doing?" he rasped, edging away. "Don't... touch me."

"You felt so moody yesterday before we went to sleep, I just wanted to check," Nekohiko said. "That you're not ill--"

"I'm fine," Abihiko grumbled, clenching up and averting his eyes.

"Well, then let's go meet the Lords." Nekohiko swayed to his feet, stretching his arms and back leisurely and sweetly like every time after a good night's rest. "I wonder if we should help them with setting up breakfast."

"Go ahead."

Nekohiko paused in the doors. "You're not coming?"

"I said," Abihiko gritted out, "go ahead. What's so hard to understand? I'll be a moment."

Ahh, still moody.

Got it. Happened sometimes to everyone.

Yet a tint of a vague doubt still loomed over Nekohiko as he went to meet Yakabe in the main room who was already setting the table up for a meal. Something he was missing.