Chapter Eighty-Seven

Mine

Part 2 of 3

 

 

Nekohiko closed his eyes and tried to properly focus on his feelings in the... mouth area, and only there.

He disliked intense sensations, and this one was sooo intense. But if he tried to divorce it from the others... just to see where it could take him...

Mmmm.

Abihiko's lips, were they damaged a bit? A tiny old scratch on his lip amused Nekohiko when he licked it, and since his tongue was already out -- why not lick something else while he was at it? With just the barest tip of his tongue, he pushed onward and through Abihiko's lips and in--

"What the hell are you doing!" Abihiko shoved Nekohiko from his chest and gave him the sternest look. His face was just so bright and fiery, and his lips...

So bitten. Had Nekohiko done that just now?

"Eeeww, drool," someone scoffed from the side and Abihiko flushed even hotter at the realization.

He quickly wiped his own lips and then Nekohiko's because Nekohiko's kissing had gotten a bit... too wet at some point.

But oddly enough, Nekohiko felt no shame.

"You taste like cherries," he told Abihiko dreamily.

Abihiko scowled and held him by the shoulders, firm. But his facial expression and the quaver in his voice betrayed the opposite. His cheeks were burning and his eyes gleamed as though on the verge of tears from embarrassment. "Stop saying nonsense..."

"Get off me!" An annoying girl on whose lap Abihiko and Nekohiko were lying around tried to squirm out while the boy beside her blocked her way, out of his breath with laughter.

Nekohiko was too dizzy to actually stand up, though. With the girl wriggling and the other people around them talking above each other all at once, he felt too lost to function. The only reason he didn't curl down to stave off vertigo was because Abihiko held him so tight in his hands.

Slowly but steadily, Abihiko pushed himself up along with Nekohiko. "Are you feeling unwell?" he asked him, worried.

...

Not unwell. Just unsure.

"I like you," Nekohiko told him instead and tried to snuggle up close again.

Abihiko cautiously restrained him.

Suddenly, a hand pushed down against the back of Nekohiko's neck, shoving him back into Abihiko.

"Come on," Koki laughed somewhere beside Nekohiko's ear. "Do it already! I won't believe it till I see it with my own eyes! Abihiko and a girl! Naaaah. Come on, show us!"

"Yeah, kiss her, come on!" some other boys cried at Abihiko from the other side. "Are you not a man? She's willing, isn't she!"

"He? A man?" Koki exploded in sniggering, almost clinging to Nekohiko from the back and groping at him as well. "After slutting about with so many other men? Ha-ha, yeah right. Maybe Kitten can kiss me instead since maiden Abihiko obviously can't take it from a girl--"

A hard punch flew into Koki's face.

Nekohiko swerved around, his knuckle ringing with pain from the impact.

Ugh, it hurt so badly!

But gods, did it feel good, to punch this jerk in his stupid face once and for all.

And more than that -- why not kick him, too, since Nekohiko was already a lost cause?

"Mnfaaaaaa!" Koki's head flinched backward from the punch, blood squirting from his smashed lips and nose -- and already Nekohiko's boot was ramming into his chest!

The room filled with screams of shock and squeals of genuine excitement. Koki stumbled into the table of some other patrons in the inn who had complained to the innkeeper about the Fifth-years being too noisy all through the night. Bowls and cups and noodles splattered and shattered all across the floor and the people's clothes.

"Fight! There's a fight!"

"Hell yeah!" the Fifth-years in the opposite corner blared even though before this moment, they'd been quiet and nearly invisible. "Fight! Fight!"

"Slap her back, Koki! Grab her -- she seems to like it rough!"

"P-please! The Demure Lady inn is a calm, peaceful establishment!" the innkeeper woman cried, drowned out by all the ruckus. "Please, Masters! Spare our inn and our esteemed patrons!"

The servers raised such a huge panic, too...

And Nekohiko was not in the mood for any of that because most noise made him disoriented and spooked in the addled state he was in. He flinched and tried to shut his ears, and swayed too hard on his feet amidst the toppled furniture.

Good thing Abihiko was right next to him.

"Neko!" Abihiko caught Nekohiko by the waist and yanked to himself. "Are you hurt?! Your hand is bleeding!"

Yeah, because I punched him so hard, the skin of my knuckles tore, Nekohiko thought proudly.

Yet Abihiko did not seem impressed at all. He manhandled Nekohiko, pushing him away from the overturned tables and over the ceramic shards on the floor -- clearly wanting to lead him out of the room. But--

"HEY, KITTEN!" Koki roared from the back. "You sucker-punching bitch!"

Something hard and heavy whooshed through the air at Nekohiko's head, but Abihiko pushed him down in time. An entire tea table roared past them and crashed into the wall in front. But even though Abihiko would usually react to that with a few choice counterattacks of his own, this time, he didn't.

He was only focused on getting the two of them out of the tumultuous main room without having Nekohiko hurt or inconvenienced too much by anything.

Really. No fighting, no yelling insults, no mean laughter.

Nekohiko thought it odd, but throughout the evening, Abihiko had been eerily well-behaved and... mature. Not like himself at all.

Yet that only made Nekohiko's hazy mind spark up so much brighter with the desire to compliment him and to reward him somehow...

To make him feel appreciated.

"Neko, NO!" Abihiko sputtered, wrestling Nekohiko away from his face because Nekohiko had once again tried to sneak a smooch in. "What the hell do you think you're doing!"

"I appreciate you a lot," Nekohiko slurred, clinging to him. "We are engaged friends. I wanted to make it absolutely clear how much I like you."

A lot.

And I know you enjoy it when young men kiss you, so...

This is my way of showing my high regard for you! Like a gift! Nekohiko added in his mind, sticking very closely to Abihiko's neck and chest and refusing to be shifted aside. Please accept my gift!

"I appreciate you too!" Abihiko said through strain as he dragged both of them out of the cacophony-teeming room and into the quieter lobby. "But not like this, Neko, damn it!"

Nekohiko padded after him when Abihiko took his hand and tugged. He felt... buzzing. And soft. And kind of silly. He only wanted to be with Abihiko now, especially when Abihiko was so mature, so safe... so... impressive.

The ease with which Abihiko shooed servants and panicked patrons out of their way and the competence of his hair-flicking when he swiveled his head left and right, picking their way out...

It was just so amazing to watch...

"I think you are very pretty," Nekohiko told him, bumping into him after they'd stumbled down the porch and into the courtyard brimming with agitated servers.

Abihiko pushed him aside when a few burly men rushed into the building past them. The sounds of the fight inside the dining room were only growing louder, so many people wanted to get a good look at it while it was still going. The only thing Nekohiko wondered about was who was fighting and why.

Hadn't he been the one who began it?

So... with him being here next to Abihiko...

...

Mmmm. Abihiko.

"Do you want to have sex with me?" Nekohiko asked, numb.

Abihiko glared at him in a stupor, then set his lipline hard. "All right, we need to get you to a Shrine."

"Shrine sex is not an unknown phenomenon," Nekohiko fumbled out, agreeing.

"For PURIFICATION!" Abihiko barked at him, then rushed Nekohiko down the porch steps and across the packed courtyard.

Nekohiko didn't really enjoy asking Abihiko such lewd things. A deep part of him thought that this was actually inappropriate and had he been clear of the grass fog that still coursed inside him, he wouldn't.

But at the same time, letting go of the things he would normally say or do was oddly... liberating.

Even within his addled state, he knew well that his and Abihiko's relationship had issues. Always would have them. An ultimate flaw in its very center.

Incompatibility.

Wasn't it obvious? Abihiko was loud and dramatic. Nekohiko was quiet and reserved.

Abihiko was interested in random and quite shallow things while Nekohiko's interests had always been in the profound love and yearning to understand how his Empire worked.

Abihiko liked men -- passionately, fervently, heartbreakingly. And Nekohiko...

Nekohiko liked nobody. At least not in the same way that Abihiko liked men.

That was an unsolvable dilemma if the two of them were truly going to be together, no?

So maybe now that Nekohiko was so dazed and confused... this dilemma could be easily pushed through? The thought made Nekohiko warm with hopefulness and he quickened his steps after Abihiko.

The Spiritway Shrines across the Empire counted in hundreds of thousands -- because they were built almost everywhere there were Spirits. In the woods and beside the lakes, down the river bends and in the fields. In the villages. Off the coast. Everywhere.

Not all of them had Priests or even more than a small lantern-sized altar -- but they were Spiritway Shrines nonetheless.

The Demure Lady inn, as most wayside inns, had one such small Shrine beside the large well in the second courtyard. Abihiko quickly located the nearest Shrine's position with his guiding spells and led Nekohiko there.

A small, hut-sized wooden shed with the altar inside. Quaint and holy.

Abihiko crashed to his knees before the altar and drew Nekohiko down as well.

His hands clapped against each other as he bowed.

"Pray," Abihiko growled at Nekohiko when all Nekohiko did was look at him, mesmerized.

When Abihiko was praying, it looked... very cute indeed. How had Nekohiko never noticed?

"Just inquire the Well Spirit and ask for his blessing in purification," Abihiko snapped, averting his gaze.

Nekohiko could swear he saw how flustered and pained Abihiko was, hiding away. Which only made him that much more amusing for Nekohiko to observe, and Nekohiko reached out a hand to yank him back and see his face better.

"I... like you," Nekohiko said. "I want you to know that."

"You say it because you're stoned," Abihiko said, tired. "It's all right. Just make your prayers and I will do a purification ritual on you with the Spirit's blessing."

"I don't want to be purified. I like it... that I can tell you things I usually would never."

Abihiko stared before him, chewing the inside of his lip, looking every bit miserable.

"Well, I don't like it," he said at last.

...

Huh?

Nekohiko wanted to argue more but --

Abihiko's senses reacted to some danger in their vicinity. Instantaneous, the boy jolted up, readying an attacking Hira spell of incredible destructive power. Just like that. Already prepared to incinerate someone?

Even though just earlier, Nekohiko had thought that Abihiko's laidback attitude was very nice, now his opinion changed. Abihiko being hot and fiery was also very, very nice.

He could watch him for days.

"Please do not tell me you're another of those lame assassin bounty hunters who swarm every inn around the region, looking for us," Abihiko told someone behind Nekohiko's back.

Intrigued, Nekohiko turned.

Indeed, there was a man there, a very raggedy, unpleasant brute in the inn's server uniform, pretending to sweep the courtyard tiles beside the Shrine. Nekohiko could tell he was a bounty-hunter just by how shiftily the man flicked his eyes left and right as though looking for clues on what to do next from his would-be teammates, currently out of sight. A very pathetic bounty-hunter but one that nonetheless represented the majority of the assassins Nekohiko and Abihiko had met ever since the school year began.

The Usurper must have wanted to wear the two of them out by ordering waves upon waves of these nobodies to come crush on them. Simply because the two of them were already too strong for the majority of the assassins. Thus, hiring the cheapest and greediest kinds was, really, just a way to annoy and cause a false sense of superiority in Nekohiko and Abihiko before an actual devastating attack would come, no?

But Nekohiko had to give it to the Usurper.

This was tiring. And this was both energy and patience-consuming.

But at least it was also fun.

"Yeah? I'm listening," Abihiko prodded the brute man again. "Something else you need?"

"N-no. Just sweeping the yard here, whut," the man mumbled out at last and made a few fake-looking swipes at the tiled floor.

"If you tell us how many of you there are and where, I might even spare you your skin and hair burns," Abihiko said tenderly. "You know, I just feel I want to roast someone tonight and you just fit the bill so well."

His tone was... bewitching, Nekohiko thought. He looked at Abihiko with eyes wide and unblinking and hated it when he was interrupted.

Without so much as a warning, the man sprang from his spot and ran away, his twig broom flying aside in his hurry. Abihiko lurched after him, dissatisfied.

But Nekohiko hated the idea of Abihiko running after the man. Another fight with the assassins and Abihiko too busy chasing them all around...

Couldn't they just move past all that quicker?

The surge of Nagare powers sparked in Nekohiko's fingers as he flung his arms after the man. A wave of furious wind swept through the yard the next moment, pummeling into the man and ramming him into the ground.

The wooden boards of the buildings nearby creaked and all the chimes and ribbons on the eaves whipped up from the gusts. The trees rustled, sending wilted leaves off the branches and into the swerving air. The people in the front courtyard a corner away squeaked in alarm.

Good, Nekohiko decided. Such lame bounty hunters would not dare attack him or Abihiko now.

He could have Abihiko to himself for as long as he wanted.

"Aaaaaaagh! Please stahp!"

The man crashed on the tiles, gasping in abject horror, looking back at Nekohiko and Abihiko as though expecting to be burned alive the very next moment. But unlike Nekohiko who reveled in the showmanship of his powers over the man, Abihiko did not look quite as pleased.

"What's gotten into you tonight!"

He wrapped his arms around Nekohiko and dragged him back to the Shrine altar to pray. Even though the man behind them was still howling in fear and pain, the two of them had already forgotten all about him.

"Sit straight and stop fidgeting!" Abihiko groaned after he and Nekohiko had done their first small ritual prayers to the Spirit.

Abihiko leaned over to Nekohiko to try and secure his grip on Nekohiko's "dazed" aspect the smoke had induced in him, but Nekohiko was too lively and overactive for him to bear with.

"I am trying to heal your ailment," he chided, once again pulling Nekohiko's hands away from his own collars. "Come on, Neko. You know I can't do such fine spells if I'm constantly distracted!"

"We prayed to the Spirit. It will help you with your purification spells and meditation regardless of where we are." Nekohiko bobbed his head back at the man whose leg had apparently been broken by Nekohiko's wind gusts and who was still wailing as the inn's servers tried to help him up. "This place is too noisy for you, so you can't focus. We can go somewhere else instead."

Abihiko gave him a very suspicious gaze. "Yeah, and what is this calmer place where we can go to, do tell?"

Nekohiko didn't even blink. "Why, our room, of course."

"Not sure what I expected out of you," Abihiko sighed, but rose to his feet all the same.

He proffered his hand to Nekohiko and drew him up after himself.

"Let's go. But only if you promise that you will let me purify you without any interruptions on your side. All right?"

 

 

---

***

 

Actually, it wasn't that hard to promise or to fulfill the said promise.

Being so dazed, Nekohiko was extremely suggestible. Almost every offer and prod made him do exactly what was asked of him as long as Abihiko was strict and thorough with his instructions.

Abihiko had immobilized him once they were inside their small room -- swaddling Nekohiko in a blanket to not have him run around or try to worm his hands into Abihiko's clothes. Apart from that, Abihiko had stopped responding to any of Nekohiko's comments about Abihiko's looks and what Nekohiko thought he might do to them because they were oh-so-pretty.

Nekohiko babbled about silly things, but all Abihiko did was remain focused on his task. Meditating and restraining Nekohiko long enough to allow him to draw out all the added substances from Nekohiko's bloodstream or his mind.

Most Binders focused on healing could do such things easily, but Abihiko was an aggressive type. Such fine motor motions and deep concentration spells weren't easy for him -- especially when done on someone other than himself. He could not control what he would be lifting from Nekohiko, and Nekohiko wasn't very helpful with that, either.

Yet somehow, minute by minute, Nekohiko felt like... Abihiko's efforts were starting to show results.

His mind was slowly getting cleared up from whatever was clouding it.

One more calculated, weary motion of Abihiko's hands -- and the spell released Nekohiko. And finally let Abihiko fall back as well.

"Argh," he groaned, flopping onto his back on the floor. "I hate Spirit and mind purification spells. They suck. Ugh. Suck balls."

Nekohiko blinked out into the dimly-lit room, feeling both strangely serene and ashamed at the same time.

The room was very cozy, with the flower and leaf patterns on the wall screens and in the gentle interplay of light and dark wood. In the middle of it, he sat on the hastily-rolled-out mattress. Swaddled in a blanket, for some reason, like a rambunctious toddler.

With painful difficulty, the memories of how he'd been swaddled and everything that had preceded it, came pouring back to his mind.

"Ah," he said, stunned, taking a good look around and then at his own hands pressed tight to his body within the rolled blanket. "I see."

Abihiko sat up, eager all of a sudden. "Oh, do you?" he sang coyly.

"Mn."

Nekohiko did not regret the things he'd done in his addled state. He had wanted to do them. He had just needed some of his barriers removed to be push through his usual limits of what he liked or not.

But really, he didn't feel very wrong about it.

Unless... he did something else that he couldn't remember now?

"What did I do while I was stoned?" he asked Abihiko, slowly untangling from within the blanket.

Bright and sweet, Abihiko's blush crept over his cheeks from over his ears. "Well. For starters, you picked up a fight with Koki, of all people! Then you kicked some random poor fuck in the street and were very willing to fight me too, as you can probably see!" 

And he nodded at the restraining blanket as though Nekohiko should believe him that he'd been swaddled into it because of wanting to "fight" too much.

...

Nekohiko tilted his head, wary of Abihiko's displeased frown as Abihiko stared back at him.

"Is that really all I did?" Nekohiko asked, hushed.

"Yes." Abihiko was adamant, yet gentle in his tone. Subtle, his lips quirked up in a smile on one end as he sat up beside Nekohiko and hugged his knees to his chest. "It doesn't matter what else you did. I know you. I know what you would do normally, and what you would never. That wasn't you. So there's no need to talk about it now, Neko. Instead," he added, stretching his arms out with a small creak after all the long spells he'd had to cast on Nekohiko earlier. "Let's talk about the disaster of a party-animal that you ended up being--"

Nekohiko didn't let him finish.

"Why would you think that wasn't me, before?" he asked. "What do you know about what I do normally? Or what I want to do?"

A hue of some tremulous emotion flickered across Abihiko's pale face. He dithered.

"You would never say or do things that you did when stoned. Trust me," he chuckled nervously. "So I do know something about y--"

Nekohiko lay a finger on his lips. Slow, cautious, he pressed it against the tender skin more and more until Abihiko completely quietened down. He leaned over the crumpled blanket, closing in to Abihiko as though afraid to spook him.

Abihiko's eyes, huge with disbelief and just a bit of frightened hope, opened wider.

Very softly, Nekohiko removed his finger from Abihiko's lips, then tilted his head to put his mouth on Abihiko's lips instead.

"N-neko--"

Nekohiko drowned Abihiko's tentative voice with his mouth.

 

 

---

***

 

Softly and lingeringly.

His first desire was to stop the kiss the moment it began because his body's reflexes just worked this way. Too much intensity, too much closeness in places that were unfamiliar to this kind of touching -- and Nekohiko wanted to bolt.

But this time, he forced himself to stay and to lean in -- more and more.

Abihiko's breath trembled. His eyelashes quivered, half-hiding his eyes. A vulnerable, hurt expression in them made Nekohiko all the more intrigued.

It felt empowering, to have Abihiko so tame and cute before him. Unresisting, drawn in as though genuinely wanting more but too afraid to ask or to show that...

Nekohiko's heart lurched, thundering inside his chest. Warmth and tingles spread everywhere across his body.

He held onto Abihiko, inhaling his usual, cozy scent and the traces of plum wine and something flowery in his breath. Abihiko's lips parted before him, so soft, so eager -- and Nekohiko froze, not knowing what to do now.

Then, he felt a shy prodding of the barest tip of Abihiko's tongue against his lipline. Like a tickle, teasing his senses with its butterfly-frail caress. A tentative, yet needy motion.

...

No!

Too intense a feeling.

Nekohiko flinched away, spooked, and broke their kiss.

He panted, only now realizing how long he'd held his breath during their tender moment. Ah! What was going on, even? Time and sensations both seemed to slow down and expand when they were too close, and Nekohiko lost track of what he was doing or why.

Abihiko had hugged him some time ago -- timidly cupping his elbows as though afraid of a more personal or restricting touch. But even this made Nekohiko shiver with anxiety.

He had no idea what he'd begun, had he?

He'd just wanted to be closer to Abihiko, but Abihiko would want... more. More than just one kiss. More than just a hug... right?

Nekohiko lifted his hand to his mouth, fingers on his lip that had been tickled by Abihiko's tongue just now. It still buzzed with a mysterious itch, and Nekohiko wasn't a fan of the feeling.

It was too new to him. He felt uncomfortable with it. But much more was the fact that Nekohiko had led Abihiko on and now recoiled away like this...

As though repulsed.

He hadn't wanted to recoil. It was just something his body did. He was now worried Abihiko would think of him less for that...

"Neko?" Abihiko also breathed a bit quicker than usual. His face was heated... a shade of rosy, it almost seemed to complement the red of his searing robes.

He looked both scared and uncertain. "You don't have to do anything like that," Abihiko breathed, awkward. "Sorry -- did I spook you just now?"

"No," Nekohiko lied. "I was just... surprised."

Abihiko hummed with a knowledgeable look. "Well, it's all right if we take it slow. Just tell me if you're uncomfortable. Or --" he stilled, aghast "-- if you don't want to do anything at all, it's also all right--"

"I want to," Nekohiko said stubbornly. "I want to, and I will."

Abihiko's forehead creased. "Eh, you are probably still stoned, so who knows what you want. Not even you do, pfff."

"I do."

Don't look down on me.

Don't think of me as some kind of a... weirdo. Please.

I can be normal.

I can... do all those things you do with other men.

"I am drunk, too, on the second thought," Abihiko mused as though only now realizing. Then he scoffed. "Wait, no. I never get drunk. That's for sissies."

In a single rush, Nekohiko scrambled back to Abihiko and took his face into both his hands. Firm. Decisive.

Ready for anything.

I can prove it to you. You have no idea what I want or what I can be!

I can be normal!

I can be like the other boys!

"I want to do it with you," Nekohiko said hollowly as though diving into a scary, unfamiliar, dark well.

"..." Abihiko swallowed, rigid. He bit into his lip again, and Nekohiko found the gesture so helpless, all his uncertainties abated. "Do what?"

"Everything."

Nekohiko didn't know the specifics, but he was sure Abihiko would know. That Abihiko would want them. That he probably wanted them right now even if he acted as though he didn't.

At first unsure, he dropped one of his hands down Abihiko's throat and to his chest. To Abihiko's lap, to touch and see for himself if he was right.

Abihiko stiffened next to him, all too visibly aware of what Nekohiko wanted to check.

When he glanced up at Nekohiko, the sincerity of his gaze burned right through Nekohiko. "Are you sure?" Abihiko asked, his voice husky.

"I'm sure," Nekohiko said.

He was not at all sure. He was just doing what he thought he should.

Was this not what all people did to each other when in these situations?

Before he could think it through, Abihiko pulled him into an embrace. His hot, greedy breath scalded Nekohiko's face from how close they were again.

"I... think I love you," Abihiko told him, and a trace of a smile flickered on his lips. "I always wanted you. Always. Since I don't know how long ago..."

Want me?

What do you mean -- want me?

"But I couldn't even dream you'd want it too..."

Nekohiko watched him, entranced. The tightness of their embrace against each other and the obvious heat and need in Abihiko's body left him speechless and thoughtless.

The only thing he could focus on was to nod and hum a vague agreement.

Abihiko had waited for it for so long, he didn't even question it anymore. Before Nekohiko knew it, Abihiko kissed his mouth, his jawline, his neck. Deeply, fervently, demandingly.

Nekohiko had never even known kisses could be this strong or heady or breath-stealing. The pent-up passion behind them astounded him.

Abihiko had truly wanted him for so long and so hopelessly...

Why? Why, Abihiko?

Me? Out of all the people in the world?

...

Me, the weirdo?

You must be even weirder than I am.

His head filled with a fog of a very different kind from the smoke he had inhaled earlier, and dizzy weightlessness enfolded him as he and Abihiko fell backward into the blankets.