Chapter Ninety-Nine

I Hate You When You Are Like This

 

 

Nekohiko didn't feel very tired, but he somehow ended up dozing off next to Abihiko all the same.

When he woke up with a start, it was already dusk and the slow creeping into the night. The gloomy forest and the stretches of the plains around them gave him no hope of finding a settlement any time soon. Only a few hazy woodland Spirits drifted in the distance, bleary, and a few grass Spirits perched on top of Nekohiko's shoulder, looking at him amusedly, with hidden awe.

The true Emperor is so cute when he's sleeping, their birdlike faces were saying. The true Emperor is adorable.

Clumsy, Nekohiko jolted, poking himself in the eye with the low hanging tree branch beside him. All the small Spirits fluttered away from his pained yelp.

"Ah, damnit!"

Abihiko lurched up, too, albeit far more gracefully than Nekohiko.

He had it in him, this quick and sharp reflex of always being battle-ready and meaning to explode on whatever threat he perceived. Frankly, Nekohiko admired that. But no way he would tell him.

"What's wrong?" Abihiko mouthed, scanning their whereabouts for any traces of danger and almost kicking some Spirit he found sitting nearby.

He realized the Spirit was not a threat, though, and only gave him a concerned glare. 

"We overslept," Nekohiko mumbled.

Abihiko turned, his features relaxing for a moment only to grow stony once again.

"It was my fault. I shouldn't have taken a chance to nap." Dismayed, he patted his ragged, badly-fit peasant clothes. "Let's go. We can still find proper shelter and even clothes in the nearby villages."

...

First of all, this was not your fault, you asshole.

It was mine. Can you at least give me the respect of acknowledging that it was I who had messed it up?

And second of all...

Nekohiko looked aside, feeling huffy.

"We are Binders. We can find shelter in the woods and make ourselves both clothes and bedding just fine."

He did not want to give Abihiko the idea that he wanted to spend the night with him the way they had done for years while Wayfaring together. But why not be real? They were Binders, for heaven's sake!

Why resort to common folks' methods of traveling?

Abihiko was watching the road, his expression dark as though he expected something going wrong. The wind brushed through his long, undone hair, drawing the image of a weary legendary hero. Yes, even in the lame peasant, haphazard clothes he wore now.

If anything, that made him even more legendary-looking.

"Morokata's people would be looking for Binder routes to travel through, specifically," Abihiko pointed out. "It is likely that they would ignore the roads and common inns where non-Binders travel, and would focus on the wilderness."

Eeeh?

"How can you know?"

Grrr, Nekohiko knew he was right. But the words just came out on their own. He just wanted to argue with him, all right?

He was still upset about having succumbed to sleep next to Abihiko an hour ago.

Besides, it wasn't easy -- to constantly have to guard himself against the Dark Sisterhood's curse inside him. It didn't let go of him. It still pushed him to be aggressive, argumentative, downright irritated whenever he was too close to Abihiko.

But Abihiko was not helpful at all!

"If you think we should go through the wilderness, then I do not mind," Abihiko replied, calm.

"No, me neither! If you want to go through the villages, please do. Like I would care!"

"..."

The two of them stared at each other for a while, and almost when Nekohiko wanted to turn away first, Abihiko sighed.

"I will follow wherever you want to go."

And that somehow made Nekohiko even angrier.

Why... was Abihiko agreeing to everything with such a defeated attitude? Ugh, Nekohiko already missed Abihiko of a day ago, when he had been eager and playful and teasing to him in the Palace rooms. Now, after they'd talked to each other about the truth of Nekohiko's murder and after that whole fiasco with The Doll Palace -- Abihiko was cold and withdrawn.

Abihiko was... so business-like, keeping Nekohiko at an arm's distance.

And Nekohiko hated it with all his might.

"Kiss me," Nekohiko snapped. "I feel like the Dark Sisterhood's curse is starting to overpower me! Do it now, kiss!"

It was a dirty, dirty lie, of course. Nekohiko really just wanted to see Abihiko lose all his fake aloofness and go back to being himself. To make Abihiko sweet and charming again.

But instead...

A crease cut Abihiko's forehead. "Are you all right?"

What kind of question was this?

"Aaaaaah!" Nekohiko screamed to make him move faster.

But Abihiko still hesitated before lunging for Nekohiko. He stuck out his hand to lick it like he usually did to gross Nekohiko out rather than actually kiss him, but Nekohiko was so much faster.

He grabbed hold of Abihiko's wrists and jerked him down to his knees and into Nekohiko's arms. Then, with his breath stuttering and his heart pumping hard, he reached for Abihiko's face. His mouth opened already searching to find Abihiko's lips, yet it simply wasn't meant to be.

Abihiko dodged him.

Yes. He actually dodged him.

"N-neko." Abihiko inclined away from Nekohiko's hungry mouth. Nekohiko ended up merely grazing the skin of his jawline with his lips, sensing just how tense Abihiko became from this small touch.

"What are you doing?" Abihiko asked him, stern. "Why are you lying about the Dark Sisterhood's curse flaring up inside you?"

...huh?

Nekohiko retreated.

"You're not the only one allowed to lie," he said. "Also, how can you tell? And why would you think I'd even want to lie and beg you for kisses? Who do you think I am?"

Abihiko wanted to roll his eyes. "You are not the greatest of actors, Nekohiko. With how stiff and blank your face looks when you try to act..."

"It's a doll's face, what do you expect," Nekohiko replied.

"And besides," Abihiko went on. His tone grew dark very fast. "Of course you would want to trick me. You might think that I will tell you everything you want to know by seducing me."

...

...

...

"It will never work on me," Abihiko said, quiet. "Do not even try as you will be wasting your time."

Nekohiko almost choked on his breath.

As if anyone wanted to try, to begin with! The audacity needed to suggest this...

"Excuse me?" Nekohiko's own tone sounded deadly now.

But that only made Abihiko that much more reserved. He stood up, nodding at the road in the direction where they needed to go. "Let's move on, Nekohiko. We have many more important things to do."

Nekohiko gaped after him in bafflement as Abihiko gathered the few things that they carried with them. When he finally followed Abihiko out of the small grove and onto the road, it was with a heart full of desire to dominate, and make Abihiko pay, and to... tame him.

Seduction, ha.

You wish.

 

---

***

 

The only real disadvantage of traveling the common roads was... people. Had they chosen to go through the wilderness, they would have avoided fellow travelers and messengers and merchant caravans. And while all these weren't a big deal for the two, the consequences of trade caravans on big roads were pretty annoying.

Road bandits.

At the bend of the road, by the trees or the small hills rising around the roads, one had to expect an ambush or two. Trade caravans and messengers had it easier, actually. Messengers were usually fast-running dummies, and thus, impossible to catch by non-Binders. While caravans were guarded, by Binders and non-Binders both.

Tiny groups of travelers were not, however.

Thus, they posed such a great and irresistible treat for any road scum out there.

Years ago, when Nekohiko and Abihiko had traveled the Empire, they had worn Binders' clothes. What better deterrent to a meager, lame bandit? Nekohiko hadn't even been aware how common bandits were because he had never had to deal with them.

How lucky he had been.

Now, he and Abihiko wore peasant robes, and ones of such poor quality and fit. So the moment the two of them passed between two copses of trees on their way, a pack of bandits was upon them.

Which was rather annoying.

"Hey you two! Come over here and show us what you got!" the bravest bandit blared at them from afar while his lessers scurried out from beyond the trees. Their clubs and staves swung around, their faces distorted in grimaces meant to intimidate.

And everyone screaming and snarling to further spook the two lone travelers.

After all, not only were the clothes on Nekohiko and Abihiko badly-fit, hiding their postures and exposing how ill Abihiko was. The wide-brimmed bamboo hats also covered up their faces, making them seem like any random travelers. Out of the two of them, only Abihiko's height might have clued in someone that they were no average peasants.

But even that did not impress the bandits much. There were a dozen of them and only one of Abihiko. The math was rather simple.

"Come on, come on, turn out your sleeves," the main bandit grumbled at him when Abihiko stilled in the middle of the road, eerily quiet.

Nekohiko also came to a halt -- half of the bandits had blocked their path, their clubs stuck out as though meaning to start a fight if Nekohiko and Abihiko didn't stop. But unlike Abihiko and his taciturn manner, Nekohiko was very close to exploding.

The Dark Sisterhood's curse really frayed his nerves.

"Out of our way," he gritted out, flashing a fiery look at the nearest bandits. "Unless you want me to punish you all for your criminal activities in our Blessed Empire. Look at yourselves! How low you've fallen. You disappoint me very, very much."

With that, he smacked off the staff pointing him in the face and wanted to continue on his way.

"... huh?"

"Are you a village idiot?" someone asked Nekohiko, blunt.

The few others narrowed their eyes, befuddled by his speech. Yet not all of them.

One toothless young man bent down in half to peer at Nekohiko's ankles peeking from under his ill-fit pants. With a guffaw, the man jolted. "Ohmagods, this thing is a dummy. An actual dummy! Look!"

A few others dropped low to see as well. And once they did, their demeanor changed dramatically.

"Oh shiiit..."

"This thing talks and walks like a man -- it must cost thousands in golden rice!"

Damn it, no way this would resolve peacefully now.

Nekohiko shot Abihiko a frightened glance. He didn't want to start fights with people, especially magic fights. Leaving Binding trails behind them was not advisable if they were followed.

But Abihiko still looked down, his bamboo hat covering the upper half of his face. What he thought and what he wanted to do was unreadable.

Steady, Abihiko gripped Nekohiko's elbow in his hand and pulled after himself, past the bandits who surrounded them. Which naturally only made them so much more eager to stop them.

"Eyy, where do you think you're going--"

"Nobody released you and your stupid doll!"

A nasty kick flew at Abihiko's ankles as though meaning to trip him or make him jump aside to dodge... But rather than do that, Abihiko let the hit land.

The force of the strike came with a loud smack. So unsettling the sound was, Nekohiko shuddered just imagining how much it must have hurt.

"Oooops, did that hurt?" the bandit cooed at Abihiko. "Clumsy me."

Abihiko didn't show a thing, only slowed down. With the same exact directness, he dragged Nekohiko after himself as though the thicket of staves and clubs pointing at them was nothing but tall weed-grass. Nekohiko appreciated the calm Abihiko radiated. The two of them couldn't really fight these people and the best they could do was to avoid them and push on whatever the cost.

No magic. No leaving trails like fighting with some random bandits! Stealth and quietude. 

"Yeah, look at them run like scared little chickens--"

"I wonder if your doll would like a less cowardly owner, mm?"

Abihiko ignored them all.

A smart, mature way of handling things.

Even though Nekohiko was unnerved by Abihiko's strung-up manner lately, he applauded his behavior now. Actually, he almost felt as though... he respected Abihiko so much for not falling into these people's gaudy insults and taunts--

"Pfff. Let the coward flee, but we're keeping the dollie."

And just then -- a rude hand grabbed Nekohiko by his long hair and jerked him backward.

...!

"Nnnhg," Nekohiko gasped, losing his footing. His hat flew off his head and to the grass.

The hair-pulling didn't hurt, just was sudden. He nearly stumbled, but his trained martial arts reflexes didn't let him. He recuperated and stood his ground.

But his temper flared instantaneously. He swung around to whip his hand at his attacker--

And was just a tad late.

A crack.

Abihiko had already rammed his knee into the man's stomach to disorient him, then dashed the man's face down -- and into the same knee. A crunch and a pained gurgle erupted. But mainly -- the roars of the other bandits.

And the fast whooshes of their clubs through the air.

Nekohiko didn't realize Abihiko was still holding him by the elbow. But he did. And when the fight erupted, Abihiko yanked him down -- and out of the flailing weapons' range.

"You asshole!"

"Fucking maul him!"

A staff sliced air at Abihiko. And he, without dodging out of its way, simply grabbed it mid-strike. A quick lurch of his wrist, and he twisted the staff out of the attacker's hand.

"Aaaaaaargh! What--"

Sinuous movements and silence. Abihiko didn't even give the men a chance to understand what was happening.

With weary ease, he proceeded to beat down those few of the bandits that had dared to assault them. There weren't many; just the closest ones. The ones further away had kept their distance, which had been a wise decision.

Abihiko was fast, and he was merciless.

Nekohiko had never really fought like that.

He had always fought to preserve the lives of random people he battled. Soldiers and guards and even bandits weren't his foes. There had never been a reason to beat them into a pulp. Definitely not to kill.

But...

Agh, the swift crackle of bones under Abihiko's hands and boots, and the sharp slams of the wooden staff into people's middle or face...

...

Nekohiko was too stunned to react or not to gape like a simpleton at the fast and savage beatdown in front of his eyes.

Partly because everything Abihiko did was done in such grave silence, too! Even the other bandits froze away in stupor, not daring to move or speak or to rush to their beaten-up comrades to help them.

"Let's go."

Abihiko threw aside the staff that had broken in half from the strain. His face still hidden beneath the hat, he stepped over the person lying on the grass beside Nekohiko and took Nekohiko's elbow in his hand, like before.

...

Nekohiko frowned, then huffed.

"You... you ruined our disguise."

Abihiko bent down to lift the bamboo hat Nekohiko had dropped earlier and shook it off the grass and dirt on its brim. Carefully, he placed it atop Nekohiko's head as though adjusting it till it fit best, and only then prodded Nekohiko to go on.

As if nothing major had just happened.

Which, Nekohiko felt, it hadn't. The subdued moans and whimpers of the bandits on the ground were frustrating to hear -- because it meant that it was a trail they left behind them, for any pursuer to see.

But at the same time...

They were bandits. What did they expect would happen if they attacked the actual Emperor of this land?

"Be better people in the future!" Nekohiko ordered the few bandits who had kept their distance and were now shaken-down by what they had witnessed. "And stop embarrassing the Empire with your criminal behaviors! Tch."

Under their heavy, horrified eyes, he and Abihiko slowly walked away. Nobody moved on the small spot of the ambush. Heck, nobody even seemed to blink until he and Abihiko hadn't gone away.

He only breathed in relief after they'd left the small grove of the ambush far behind. He still felt wary next to Abihiko, but Abihiko preferred not to address anything that had occurred, and Nekohiko didn't want to push it.

Awkward, he only asked him,

"Does your ankle hurt too badly?"

And received the most evasive answer in history.

"We need new clothes," Abihiko sighed. "And quick. These summon too much unwanted attention."

...

"That wasn't what I asked, though."

Abihiko kept walking on, grim and quiet.

Thus, whatever Nekohiko had asked, didn't receive an answer.

At least, not at first.

 

 

---

***

 

The nearest village they could find had a store where they bought new clothes, but the choices there were obviously limited. At first, Nekohiko had wanted to make their own new clothes from leaves and tree bark nearby, but it hit him that all such individually-made clothes would look suspicious even from afar and would expose him and Abihiko as Binders of high caliber.

No, if they wore inconspicuous clothes, those had to have been made by worker-like Binders -- from hemp, and wheat, and animal hair. The mass-Bound clothes and house items were done far less excitingly, but far more unnoticeably-looking. Most commoners and peasants got these. Thus, Nekohiko and Abihiko also had to, if they were to roam the trade roads unnoticed.

They had money, given to them by Hira Okinaga's household lady, so it wasn't much hassle to get themselves two nice sets of traveling robes and fancier hats to cover their faces.

But alas.

As if Abihiko would do a good job covering himself up and making himself unnoticeable! His recent failure to appear inconspicuous in the Nara crowds by dressing in rich robes of flamboyant black was still raw in Nekohiko's memory. However well Abihiko could fake his seeming maturity, it was obvious -- he was still incapable of wanting to dress in any other manner than dramatically.

Look at him, wrapping himself up in another fancy set of pure-black robes. Even though the outfit itself was simple, not at all loud, add to its simplicity Abihiko's tall stature and his striking facial features and...

Yeah, as if anyone in the world would forget they saw a person like that on the road!

"Most people do not wear black this saturated," Nekohiko told him. He'd dressed in mundane grays himself and brought more of the same exciting colors to Abihiko to try on.

"Black is the color of spies and assassins," Abihiko protested, even though he sounded doubtful. "It is the most unnoticeable color."

"Not with this body and face, no." Nekohiko shoved the better robe piles into Abihiko's chest, then snapped away. "I swear you need to start slumping or bending your knees when you walk! You damn mountain..."

"Those bandits didn't seem to care about my height," Abihiko said at last.

"Ah, so we are talking about them now? I thought you pretended they didn't exist and nothing happened there."

...

More silence.

The shop was tiny and cramped. Since the village was on the crossroads between trade routes, it was a small wonder the stores here offered anything a traveler would need quickly. But because it was so small and stuffed with things most traveling merchants, Binders, and messengers needed, it was hard to speak too much without being heard.

Thus, there was no time to argue at all.

But, deep inside, Nekohiko still hoped for it. That at least now Abihiko would push back against him with something stupid and annoying.

Yet -- no.

Abihiko nodded calmly, then began taking the black robes off like it was nothing to him. He shrugged off the top and reached out to take the brown traveler's long-folded robe. Polite, Nekohiko turned around to give him privacy, but at the same time...

...he did want to see a bit more of Abihiko's body and its horrible state from the Binder's corruption. All those blackened veins and markings... yes, Nekohiko wanted to check them up closer. He needed to know what he was dealing with if he traveled with Abihiko in the next few days. It could tell him how fast Abihiko would get exhausted from casting, how severe his damage would be from overexerting himself and other things, too...

And yet, he could not bear to turn around and ogle him just like that.

It would send a very wrong message, wouldn't it? Especially after Abihiko started believing Nekohiko wanted to seduce him.

Nekohiko! Seduce anyone!

Preposterous...

When the two of them were done, they wore such drab and colorless robes topped with road cloaks and wide-brimmed hats that nobody in their sane mind would suspect they were anyone worthy of note. Provided that Abihiko walked around hunched, with his knees bent -- or at least glamored to be shorter in height.

But when Nekohiko suggested that, suddenly, a trace of old Abihiko came through.

Just for a brief moment.

Abihiko's lips thinned in a rigid line as he thought about it. His eyes narrowed. His one foot tapped the ground as he and Nekohiko stopped in the corner of two small village stores to wait out the caravan of merchants selling Bound servers.

All in all, Abihiko looked irked.

Yet he conquered his displeasure rather quickly.

"All right, sure. It is of no matter to me."

Oh?

How wonderful.

"You sure? You seem annoyed with my suggestion of you hiding your height."

Insecure, aren't we?

Nekohiko couldn't hide his glee as he observed Abihiko's stony mien. "I am perfectly fine," Abihiko told him ceremoniously. "A man's height is his attitude and magnanimity, not his physical attributes--"

"Ah yes. The size doesn't matter," Nekohiko told him, bright, and enjoyed a shock of pleasure at seeing Abihiko glower.

Nekohiko still remembered that whenever he and Abihiko had been... undressed together when young, that Abihiko had always looked so smug and so childishly-proud about his size.

Nekohiko had never seen him with other boys in the Izumo dorm, but he could bet Abihiko enjoyed flaunting how big, tall, and impressive he was to everyone around. Such was his nature. To want to make everyone know.

Even now, under his facade of propriety, one could see that Abihiko chaffed at needing to suppress his natural instincts of boasting.

It was... though obnoxious, also rather cute.

"I guess you growing up so tall might not have extended to your other body parts," Nekohiko sighed in mock-pity. "My condolences."

...

Come on. Come on, we both know you would just whip out your dick right here as proof -- if you were the same person as five years ago! Nekohiko could already anticipate the way the two of them would bicker about it for a good fifteen minutes afterward.

And indeed, Abihiko's jaws looked tense. Abihiko must have really wanted to say something sarcastic in return, but was holding himself back.

"Didn't you see me naked all those times I was bathing with your seashell on my neck?"

"Naaaaaah. No, my lord! How would I?" Nekohiko asked. Even though he had seen it. Plenty of times. And was just as annoyed with his measurements as he was with Abihiko's everything... his stature, his face, with height. Abihiko was in many ways too incomparable to others. No shit Kataji had insecurity issues comparing himself to him. "It would be so inappropriate, ah, and shameless! So... is it really small now? Teeny, tiny? Mmm? You can show it to me now since we're married anyway. I promise I won't judge."

...

This was such a prime opportunity for Abihiko to respond with a snappy reply, but--

He didn't take it.

He turned aside, feinting indifference.

"We could buy Bound horses and ride them," Abihiko said, jerking his chin at the caravan with the dummy products being sold there. "Nobody would notice my height if we're sitting."

Nekohiko deflated at once.

...what?

They weren't going to bicker about dick sizes?

Really?! Abihiko, with his petty boasting -- would not use this convenient chance?

Grrrrrr. Argue with me! Stop being so mature and self-serious!

"Why Bound horses?" Nekohiko blurted, cranky.  "We can buy animal ones instead. We look like peasant travelers. Do you think anyone would believe we can afford Bound horses?"

"That is a good point. You are right."

...

And that was how it all went!

All of it -- whatever Nekohiko suggested, Abihiko agreed almost immediately and without pickiness. It drove Nekohiko insane because, by now, he almost felt like he challenged himself to find out a single point of disagreement that would force Abihiko out of his shell again.

But not now. Now, they had to keep running.

They rented the live, animal horse from the farmer down the road because the village proper only sold Bound dummies to travelers. Abihiko had begun to say something about buying two horses instead of one, but Nekohiko overpowered his argument in a flash.

People dressed like them would have not much money to buy separate horses. Of course they had to use one.

But also, on one, it would be easier for Nekohiko to sneak his proximity to Abihiko and... Nekohiko guessed, to subtly grind Abihiko's defenses down with them being so close?

He didn't know what he was doing, honestly. He just knew he wanted to expose Abihiko's vulnerabilities again, and from there -- it wouldn't be much harder to push him into telling him all the truth about the past. But how to do it other than clinging to him? -- he had no idea.

Nekohiko didn't understand the breeds of live horses, but he judged the one they bought to be slow and unwieldy. Thus, he didn't know how to reign it in well. He was just so afraid to harm it with every tiny gesture. Live creatures were horrible for any real work, and Nekohiko himself preferred not to deal with them. His youth, he had spent entirely around dummies and artificial animals, so this was new to him.

So obviously, Abihiko had to be the one in charge of the horse.

Nekohiko climbed in front and waited for Abihiko to settle down behind him. Then he gave him the reins and reclined against him.

"Ride."

Abihiko dithered. "If I am the one riding, shouldn't you sit behind me and hold onto me for the ease of use?"

"You are too tall -- from behind you, I won't see a thing on the road. Besides, your stupid hair will whip me in the face, and no -- thanks."

Softly, Abihiko prodded the horse in its sides with his heels. He tugged the reins to the left to direct it. Nekohiko kept his eyes on the road as the horse took its first tentative clops down the beaten dirt and his and Abihiko's bodies pressed against each other with the horse's motion.

Abihiko was hugging him from the back, but it was solely a physical -- impersonal -- touch. Because, verbally, Abihiko said,

"As you say."

And Nekohiko winced inwardly from how placid it sounded.

 

---

***

 

The darkening plains limned in contrast to the lighter, night sky, and against them, a rare sight of a giant wild Spirit roamed the horizon. The Spirits of the Rye, the Spirit of the Buckwheat... the Spirits of the field hens and mice...

Back in the city and in Nagare, Nekohiko hadn't seen so many Spirits out in the open until now.

So many and so freely around them. Ah, he almost felt serene, to find himself where there were more Spirits than humans coming across his path.

He only wished that the only human beside him was a bit more... human, too.

"I hate it when you say this," Nekohiko spoke after a while of riding in the descending night. The village lights had grown faint behind them, and the night air whistled past them as they rode. It was getting chillier, and Nekohiko was grateful for Abihiko's enfolding warmth.

But he wanted more warmth in his words, too.

"You were way nicer to me back in the Imperial quarters," Nekohiko said.

Abihiko slowed the horse down to pay attention to the low sound of Nekohiko's voice. From gallop -- to a trot, which gave a rocking cadence to the horse's motions and felt almost lulling, and comfortable.

"I am sorry. I know your mood is generally negative due to the curse, and almost everything I do can aggravate you. I will try to be as obliging as I can be from now on," Abihiko said.

Noooo! That is exactly what makes me so aggravated, you dummy!

"... Actually, you being so obliging angers me too."

"Oh."

Nekohiko squirmed inside from the tense awkwardness they rode in, but he couldn't fix that. "Just be like you were in the Imperial chambers. It was annoying but at least it was the way you have always been when we were kids. A pain in the ass." Nekohiko realized that he sounded wistful, so he cleared his throat to correct that. "Not that I enjoyed it, because I obviously didn't. But I got used to it. It's like a bad habit of mine, to be able to tolerate you."

He felt the coldness in Abihiko's tone immediately.

For whatever reasons, Abihiko seemed hurt by his words.

"I distinctly remember that, in the Imperial chambers, you told me I was nicer to you before we were married. Because I was polite and appropriate. And that you hated me teasing you and being playful with you during our marital seclusion since it felt annoying to you. So which one is it, because I find it impossible to tell--"

Ugh, the matter-of-fact manner in which Abihiko spoke!

"Well, I hate what you do now even more," Nekohiko grumbled. "Please stop it."

"So you hate it when I am being polite and reserved, and you hate it when I am being playful and eager..." Abihiko paused, taking an impatient breath in. "All right. Tell me how to behave, and I will. I do not want to cause you more harm, so whatever you want me to do, I will."

Grrrrr.

"You are so agreeable! Even now, all you do is agree with me! Yet when I ask you to tell me the truth, suddenly, you become adamant about disagreeing. You are actually the worst, you know that?"

...

Clop. Clop. Clop.

Only the horse's hooves and the patter of dirt it dug out of the road with its steps.

"You want me to argue with you more?" Abihiko asked, grim.

"No! Yes. I don't know!" Nekohiko felt helpless and frustrated and angry. And he didn't know at whom. He could only shake his head and shove his elbow into Abihiko's side. "Whatever. We cannot change how different we've become through the years and how much of an asshole you've been to me. Murderer. Just ride."

"I do not understand--"

"Shut up and ride!"

 

---

***

 

Instead of going off the road to find shelter in the woods or making a Binder's hut out of earth or stone, they decided to camp for the night under the clear-open sky, not far from the road. They hadn't met an inn or even a farm on their ride on, so it was not much hope they would any time soon.

Better to sleep as they were. Just your average peasants going places, unable to even fend for themselves in the wilds and keeping close to the road.

There were other lame traveler packs like that across the plains, and their small campfires lit the night horizon like reddish stars. A few road Spirits drifted close by, as though spying or stalking the humans, and were happy to devour some of the campfire flames as they did. Regardless whether the humans welcomed them in or not.

More like small parasites than Spirits, really.

Nekohiko felt that this arrangement was the safest for him and Abihiko, and that all they had left to do tonight was for Abihiko to eat his stale packed meal of rice buns and pickles the Hira servants had given them, and then go straight to bed.

The nights were chilly, yes, but not so much that people couldn't rest in the open air. They'd be fine. Especially since they were together, and Nekohiko didn't plan on sleeping far from Abihiko anyway.

He might grate on Nekohiko's nerves, but nothing changed about him being extremely cozy to snuggle up against. 

So he did exactly that once Abihiko finished his meal.

He turned around and reached his arms around Abihiko's waist, then scooted closer to put his head on Abihiko's shoulder. But in his embrace, Abihiko stiffened.

"..."

A suspicious, aggravated mood speared through Nekohiko and he raised his face to peer at the outline of Abihiko's face in the darkness.

"It's cold," he explained their tight proximity. "Besides, we've ridden the horse pressed against each other for hours, so..."

"That's because we have just one horse," Abihiko replied. "We have plenty of room here now. Left, right, wherever you want."

"Like I said, it's cold! And it's not like we haven't slept together the last week ever since we got married. What changed?" Nekohiko huffed.

"Nekohiko," Abihiko asked so softly Nekohiko had a hard time discerning his voice. "Are you and Kata... together?"

...

Now it was Nekohiko's turn to tense up against Abihiko's unwelcoming embrace.

So this was why Abihiko had become so aloof to him through the day? Because of what he had witnessed with Kataji?

This was... odd.

What did Abihiko mean by this? Was he really that jealous?

"No," Nekohiko said carefully. "But I am afraid that he thinks we are."

"Why would he think that? Did you manipulate him to get to me by... promising him things?"

Ohhh, do not delve in there, please!

Nekohiko was at a loss of what to say. "No, at least I don't think I did. As soon as I found out who he and Aomi were, I... did use their relations to you, but I swear I did not abuse their kindness. Even when I killed Daichi -- which I swear happened only because he wasn't going to listen to me and wanted to destroy me! -- I wanted to run! I didn't want to stay and ruin Aomi's and Kataji's life! I--"

Abihiko turned to face him, and in the dark depth of his gaze, Nekohiko saw fondness once again. Fondness and ache.

"I understand. You don't have to explain," Abihiko whispered.

A gentle burning scalded Nekohiko's eyes. Unable to keep his eye contact with Abihiko for too long, he was the first one to drop his gaze, then shift it over to the skies, searching for something to distract himself with.

He swallowed a tremoring note in his voice.

"Don't. I feel I need to explain myself. I did use your family members to get to you. So I do not need your pity or your excuses for what I did. I just wish... it had been smoother and that I hadn't needed to kill or trample so many people on my way to you. I wish... that you had found me sooner. Without anyone else involved at all."

He blinked, avoiding the oncoming tears.

"I know I would have hated you if it wasn't for Aomi and Kataji endearing me back to you through these past months of the gradual path toward my throne, but it's not like I don't hate you now anyway."

"I understand this, too..."

"No, you don't!"

Because I don't hate you in the way that you think...

Only in all the others...

Or maybe not at all.

Ugh, it was so stupid, Nekohiko didn't want to talk about it anymore.

"Forget it. Just know that there is nothing between Kataji and me, so... you have nothing to worry about."

...

"I am not worried. If you're happy with Kataji, I would not stand between you two because he is obviously very happy with you, in turn," Abihiko said steadily, but Nekohiko still wanted to shudder at how fake that sounded. "He is my brother. All I want is for him to find happiness."

Nekohiko shot him a sour look.

"Oh really? Are you aware that the marital Bond can not only protect you from me wanting to murder you but also from me cheating on you?"

Abihiko's eyes widened, then froze. He clearly had no idea what Nekohiko was saying.

"You are not cheating on me," he said, defensive. "We are not even together. This marriage is a fake one--"

Yeah, well.

Perhaps Spirits didn't see it as such.

Or maybe even either of them. But Nekohiko didn't want to question the basis of what constituted a Bonded marriage in the eyes of the Spirits.

"The Bond reflects any heartache my cheating causes you. It makes me feel everything your heart feels when I 'cheat'."

...

If Abihiko could have grown more petrified or paler, Nekohiko didn't know how. Even the vivid redness of his lips seemed to drain away for a moment.

"...what?"

"I know what you feel even if you pretend otherwise," Nekohiko said. "Not that you are that good at pretending. The way you smiled all through the first days of our marriage was not exactly subtle. I wonder what happened to your acting skills because five years ago you seemed quite apt--"

-- like right before the murder.

But he wasn't able to finish this thought.

The Dark Sisterhood's curse squirmed inside him and Nekohiko clenched his jaws to persevere through the emotional clash it would give him. He breathed hard through his nostrils, watching Abihiko with a pained plea in his eyes.

Understanding, Abihiko rustled clothes to free his hand, then put his licked fingers on Nekohiko's forehead -- to diffuse his curse.

It worked, of course. It always did.

But why did it have to be so impersonal and avoidant again?

"I know you could have kissed me or touched me like you did in the carriage earlier today," Nekohiko muttered, disappointed. "I know you want to. Why are you denying--"

"You were mistaken. That heartache you felt when you 'cheated' -- it was just the marital Bond. Not me. I guess it just punishes the cheater, but trust me -- I do not have any wounded feelings about you and Kataji."

...

Gods, the pang in Nekohiko's heart!

Right this second, something sharp and cruel pierced his chest with the most miserable of pains...

Even just saying this hurt Abihiko, and yet he still would not acknowledge.

"Gaaaah," Nekohiko spat in fury, his fingers curling over the robes on his chest where his nonexistent heart was. He traded a few steadying breaths, glaring at Abihiko and his fake-impassive face. "Your heart is literally bleeding, and it makes my heart bleed, too! Stop lying to me because I can feel every last thing about it!"

Abihiko could not bear his gaze long.

But he didn't speak up nonetheless.

"You are ridiculous," Nekohiko told him, then turned away, crashing onto his grass pillow with a huff.

But just because he was angry, didn't mean he wasn't also intrigued. Abihiko's behavior baffled him, and he knew Abihiko hid far more truths from him than just about the tree and his endgoals.

But which were they?

He shifted his mind over to the seashell just to check on Abihiko's breathing and heartbeat and found... that Abihiko was still facing where Nekohiko had turned away. The human dummy's back was lying mere inches away from Abihiko and Abihiko's hand was reaching out toward it as though to touch.

His fingers almost trembled as they neared to lie against Nekohiko's shoulder, down his shoulder-blades and the silky disheveled hair.

But they never did.

With one last doubtful twitch, Abihiko's hand dropped away, never touching Nekohiko's body.

And that only made it so much more frustrating. Nekohiko half-wished to reach out to him in return just to show him how easy this was, but he was so pissed off with Abihiko's behavior today that he chose not to.

Let him suffer.

He deserved it anyway.

"What are our plans after we purify my body in Ise?" Nekohiko said in a ragged tone.

"Morokata. That is our priority," Abihiko replied, thoughtful. "He would make his move in response to your running around the city."

"My running around in the city? What about your rampage of The Doll Palace?!"

Polite, Abihiko cleared his throat. "We make our preparations and wait out till Kasuga's trial comes up and then..."

Kasuga's trial, again. Nekohiko fumed.

"What is so important about Kasuga's trial to you? This is the third time you tell me about it as though you give it so much more importance than just making sure Kasuga's name is cleared."

"Because it is. Kasuga's trial is where Morokata's fate will be sealed," Abihiko said with a dark tinge of a smile in his tone. "It is where you and I will pay him for what he did to us. To you, and to Suminoe. And to me."

Nekohiko's heart lurched, a beautiful tinge of hope fluttering inside it.

What--?

Was he serious? Kasuga's trial could make Morokata pay? How???

Stunned, he swiveled his head to peer at Abihiko.

Abihiko smirked.

"I did not plan this to happen so soon... I had been waiting for your awakening first inside the tree because alone, I would not have been able to bring him down. I needed you to come back and... now, you are. So Kasuga's trial is perfect for this. It's soon enough and you are strong and able... as long as nothing bad happens to you or me before it, we'll be great. We just need to hide away from him and bide our time."

"What will happen there?" Nekohiko asked, hushed. "And what do you mean when you say Morokata did something to you that you want to pay him back for?"

After all, Morokata had abused Nekohiko's attempt to revive Suminoe. It made sense why Nekohiko would want to pay him back for that, and for Suminoe's honor.

But Abihiko...? What did he have to do with that?

"Nothing that concerns you right now," Abihiko replied, cool once again. "You'll find out then if you are so inclined. For now, only worry about your safety, all right? We were so very safe in the Emerald Palace ritual seclusion array. Hell, we could have even be safe if you just went in and out of it. But you had to aggravate Hibiki and the entire Hisome faction in the city! Now we cannot be there, and we have to expect Morokata's retaliation to cover for the ruckus we have caused. Thus, now, we have to lay low and prepare for the trial as best we can. We'll have to visit Kasuga, and the Adamantine Mountain, and even Izumo to get our legal defenses ready while escaping Morokata's--"

Oh.

Nekohiko's throat suddenly went dry.

Izumo.

They had to visit Izumo.

Oh gods, he had completely forgotten about it!

"What?" Abihiko mouthed, instantly aware of Nekohiko's mood change.

"...I am actually visiting Izumo right now," he said, deathly quiet. "With one of my bodies. With one of my bodies that I have given up to Suminoe's goons before the wedding to ensure that Suminoe wouldn't be suspicious of me during the ceremony..."

...

"Nekohiko," Abihiko groaned in pain. "You have given one of your bodies to Suminoe? As a hostage?!"

I had no idea it would be a hostage back then!

I had no idea it wasn't even Suminoe!

Nekohiko didn't let Abihiko gape at him in horror a single moment more. He already shifted his mind over to the dummy twin he had erased from his memory all these days ago.

Ten days ago! What must have happened to this dummy twin during such a long time?!

For starters, it must have definitely reached Izumo. And so had Suminoe himself...

 

 

---

***

 

He was not wrong.

Even before his eyes fluttered open wherever his body was in -- he knew. By the woody scents, by the quality of the seaside and cedar alley air, by the sounds of camellia branches swaying beyond the open window of the office.

This was Izumo.

The Head Priest's office.

And this... person who sat opposite Nekohiko's dummy twin's body was...

Suminoe's usually unnaturally-calm face quirked up in a pleasant smile with the most charming manner of all. Those crescent-shaped eyes, that unapologetic beauty of the expression.

Even though Nekohiko stared straight into Suminoe's familiar face, beneath that face hid something quite alien and hateful to him.

It was Morokata.

"Hellooooo," Morokata said through Suminoe's gently-cool voice. "You made me wait a long time, didn't you, my darling dummy boy?"