CW: slight sexual content in the second half

 

Chapter Hundred and Three

Bodies and Indulgences

 

 

This time, unlike all others, there was no reason to kiss.

None at all.

Yet it was also the very first time that Abihiko did not resist -- which surprised Nekohiko. So much that Nekohiko was the first one to break away in surprise after his lips brushed against his neck for a brief, ticklish moment.

"No more acting like I'm seducing you and you are a poor victim?"

Abihiko smiled. In the beautiful lighting of the waterfall and the luminescent butterflies, his face, with his hair wet and heavy over his shoulders, looked all the more wistful.

Like in their past, maybe. When their happiness had seemed endless.

"So you acknowledge that you are seducing me?"

Huffy, Nekohiko butted his head into Abihiko's shoulder, wanting to topple him down just to pay for his insolence. But Abihiko didn't resist this either and simply reclined back on his elbows, his eyes closed.

"And as years ago, you are just as bad at flirting as always," he hummed under his nose, letting the rivulets of water cascade down his pale face. "And you know what? I... can't keep watching you do this. It is both so endearing yet so aimless, I might as well have this talk with you here right now."

If a moment ago, Nekohiko had finally grown excited about pushing Abihiko back into his less guarded self -- now he stilled beside him.

"Huh?"

Please do not tell me you are too above this and so mature and serious and... ugh.

Enough, damn it!

But Abihiko didn't seem like he was going back to his solemn manner just yet. He squeezed open one eye and glanced at Nekohiko through the lowered eyelashes. His smile never left his lips.

"I didn't want to abuse your stupid manipulation techniques of making me spill the truth through seducing me. So I'll be brutally honest with you instead. If you try to come onto me again just to tempt me -- I might not hold myself back any longer. If you think that I refuse you because I don't want you -- think again. But, as a person who genuinely cares about you, I'm telling you -- don't. You won't find the truth from me this way. All you'll manage doing is make each of us more miserable afterward because of how empty your desire is."

He was still smirking to himself as he went on, but Nekohiko could see the same exact hurt beneath the smile.

Abihiko genuinely believed what he was saying.

That all Nekohiko wanted of him was to make him spill the truth through... what? Fucking? And that it meant nothing more than this to Nekohiko. Just a manipulation ploy.

Heavens...

"And you once blamed me for viewing you as an inferior, shallow creature that only thinks of its baser desires," Nekohiko told him, resigned.

Abihiko was very good with this -- pushing Nekohiko away to a reasonable distance and putting walls between them just to keep himself from being hurt by him again, and again.

But he forgot one crucial thing about Nekohiko.

Nekohiko had known him since childhood. And all the protective walls Abihiko had once tried to put between the two of them, had been broken down once, twice -- all the times -- before.

"To hell with your truth. If you say that I need to wait the rest of this month to get it -- then so be it." Nekohiko crawled over the slick stones within the shallows. Then over Abihiko's folded legs under the flimsy wet robes. The heat of Abihiko's skin came through the thin fabric, making Nekohiko tingle upon touching it. He put his knee between Abihiko's legs to crawl onto him comfortably, then pressed both his arms on the sides of Abihiko's head.

He slid over Abihiko's waist and chest -- which suddenly grew so still, Nekohiko could feel Abihiko's breath hitching as though it was his own.

Or maybe his own also did; who knew?

"I just want to..." he whispered, looming over Abihiko from the above.

The two of them, one naked, the other -- not much better off -- directly against one another.

"I just want... you," Nekohiko finally uttered, not knowing how else to say this.

Because this was what he wanted.

Abihiko.

The way he had always been.

Please.

"W-why--"

The dummy that Abihiko was, he became scared again and wanted to sit up and push Nekohiko away. But Nekohiko didn't let him.

He held him down, firmer than ever before.

"I miss you."

"I am right here." Abihiko desperately tried to shift away and hide the heated desire his thin wet robes couldn't help but expose.

Yes, you are. And you're not getting anywhere from me.

As though doing what he had always wanted for the very first time, Nekohiko slid his hand around Abihiko's jawline, cupping his face so he could lift it toward himself.

His wooden body leaned forward, all the ball joints creaking with strain as he pushed himself against Abihiko, wanting nothing more than proximity. As tight and close as it could go.

Until there would be nothing between them.

Abihiko's eyes measured his face in a quick glance, then -- without so much as a doubt, Abihiko rushed forward too.

Their mouths met in a hungry, feral need. Moist lips, hot tongues. Breaths stifled, voices humming in desperation at being trapped between them. Nothing like what they'd been doing back in the Palace days ago.

No... Back then, Nekohiko had thought it was lust for blood and revenge on his side, and Abihiko's desire on the other -- but, gods! Now he could truly tell the difference!

Days ago, Abihiko had been holding himself back.

Hell, even years ago when the two of them had only been teenagers in their first tentative attempts to indulge in their romance -- Abihiko had clearly been holding himself back, too.

And -- ah, Nekohiko could now tell why.

If Abihiko had kissed him back then nearly as passionately or demandingly as he did now, it would have scared Nekohiko away from sex and intimacy forever. This was just so overwhelming.

So... shameless.

Abihiko's mouth owned his. It dominated Nekohiko's breath and freedom as if wanting to sap it all out of him. A needy, tremulous sucking and nibbling on Nekohiko's overly-sensitive lips, and no chance to take a breath -- none. Mmm, so... dizzying. The slippery, hot tongue teased his lipline from the inside. But it never thrust deeper. Only the gentle, maddening flutter that set Nekohiko's nerves alight.

Fast, like a heartbeat.

Ahhhhhh, Nekohiko almost lost his head just from being kissed so hard.

His eyes blurred. He shut his eyelids, dissolving into the intensity, moaning of surrender before Abihiko's assault.

Gods, if this was a battle -- then Abihiko won, hands down! What the hell...

Yet even though he was the one on top of Abihiko, pressing him over with his body, he still felt like he was the one on the bottom, helpless and vulnerable. Because Abihiko's arms were around him, holding him so passionately, Nekohiko felt embarrassed from realizing that Abihiko had never held him like this before. They squeezed and drew him in

He had always been so considerate and reserved.

He had always been... pretending.

"Mnnnnhhg," Nekohiko sighed in between the breathless gaps their lips left. Only a few seconds, for Abihiko to cover hot, lingering kisses over his cheek or down Nekohiko's jaw as though ravenous for every inch of Nekohiko's body.

But Abihiko always returned to kissing him on the mouth as though unable to let go.

As though Bound to it, ha-ha...

"Aaaahh," Nekohiko gasped. "You will... suffocate me."

At last, Abihiko let him take a breath. He seemed to have realized he was crushing Nekohiko in his arms and slowly rolling him over to push on top of him instead. So carried away, Abihiko seemed to have lost all track of what he was even doing.

The thought jolted him, and Abihiko drew away.

He trembled all through.

So did Nekohiko. And the chilly water all around them had nothing to do with this because deep within, he felt hot.

Hot and buzzing with the anticipation of more.

Abihiko's arms still rang with tension around Nekohiko, the hot fingers splayed against Nekohiko's wooden surface as though wishing to hold on to every last bit of him. Yet, as Nekohiko was slowly coming back to his senses after the vertiginous kisses, he found himself... not hating the sensation all that much.

Yes, as always, he did not enjoy being rubbed and touched and squeezed. It had always felt too personal and invasive to him, and nothing about that had changed even now.

But at the same time...

He felt it was also quite... nice.

To be wanted like this, with such full abandon.

It was... infectious...

"I told you -- don't tempt me," Abihiko said with a shuddering, great breath. He loomed next to Nekohiko, leaning on one elbow above Nekohiko's face. His eyes were gleaming and his mouth was red and bitten -- from all the turbulent kissing moments prior. A trail of slickness connected his lips to Nekohiko's even now, and Nekohiko curled his lips inward to break it apart.

"Sorry, this is disgusting," Abihiko rasped, noticing. He wanted to lean away. "I am sorry... I don't know what came over me."

...

I do.

For the first time ever, you did not hold yourself back with me anymore.

And it had been... exhilarating. Overpowering, really.

"I want it, again," Nekohiko said, hoarse. "The way you have always been but never let me see. I want... to see."

"Ugh, Neko -- no!"

No.

Again?

Nekohiko gripped the edge of Abihiko's collar to have him stay, but of course all it did was rip the top of Abihiko's shirt off him and made him look at Nekohiko in some bizarre mortification as the result.

"What are you doing?"

And the most bizarre thing? Nekohiko kind of enjoyed the shock in Abihiko's eyes. "I'm undressing you. Don't you think it's unfair that you are clothed and I am not?"

"Pfff--just put on some clothes, yourself!" Abihiko sputtered, curling inward like a prim maiden.

"You warned me that I don't know what I'm doing when I kissed you, but I did. Then you warned me that I won't be able to keep up with your desires, but I do," Nekohiko said, matter-of-fact as he kept tugging Abihiko's shirt off. Not that it hid anything that much already. "What other excuses do you have? Just be real, you don't want us to go back to how we were solely because you feel guilty about five years ago. But you don't have to. I... can wait for your real explanation. Trust me."

And that was the only real excuse.

Abihiko had never stopped feeling guilty in front of Nekohiko. And of course he couldn't act on his desires with him because of that.

But could they not forget it for a while? Just a little?

Abihiko's features softened as he regarded Nekohiko before him. "It's not just the guilt, though, however big it might be."

...

"It's the fact that you are a..." And Abihiko's gaze flicked very noticeably down Nekohiko's wooden body. Up and down, in a quick dismissive glance.

That you are a doll, he meant to say. Didn't he?

"...!"

Nekohiko felt the sudden urge to cower, himself, or to grab something to hide under.

"Huh. So you are a doll-hater? Creepy, ugly doll, I am. Sure."

"What? No--" Abihiko hurried. "In fact, you are quite lovely--"

...

"You are a doll-fucker, then," Nekohiko ended for him, grave with disappointment. "This era is truly the perverse one."

Abihiko's eyes shot down to slits, so wary he seemed with Nekohiko's conclusions. "Your opinion of me is going to be negative no matter what I say now, hmmm?"

Nekohiko only shrugged, still dejected by Abihiko bringing this topic up in the first place.

He was naked, after all, and was displaying all of himself for Abihiko -- every nook and bolt and joint ball. A vulnerable position.

To dare remind him that this body was subpar was incredibly rude.

But Nekohiko's annoyance only filled Abihiko with a sudden tenderness.

"It has nothing to do with you being a doll," he said. "I don't care which body you are in--"

"I have a cat body and a ladybug body, too. Don't tell me you don't care which body I am in," Nekohiko retorted. "Unless you are also an appreciator of cats, all of a sudden."

Easy, Abihiko broke out into a chuckle -- and all of Nekohiko's grumpiness subsided. Because... oh, he had longed hearing this sound for so long.

Abihiko laughing, in unabashed joy.

"Ah, yes, that cat. You sat on my lap the first time we met, and then you bit me--"

Erm, do not remind me.

"So what's wrong with this body, then?" Nekohiko demanded. "Stop laughing! This is not funny. Do you think I want to have a wooden dick or a furry backside? But it's the best of what I can have, so I can't exactly complain about it."

Quietness did not erase the good moods Abihiko was in, even after he stopped chortling.

"All these wooden bodies are not your true -- or final -- form." Abihiko sought Nekohiko's gaze like an eager puppy. "Neko, you will have your human body back. Why would I ever need to pine after any body other than your real one?"

Something stirred inside Nekohiko.

A shy, beautiful hope.

He quickly pushed it down, turning aside with a scoff. "You said so before, but... let's be real. That body was burned and its ashes scattered across the Empire. Not much to save, is there? It would be impossible to find, so... don't. Don't give me false promises like that. Even though I have long become used to being a doll, the idea that I could have my human body back... it still hurts to hear."

"Neko..."

Nekohiko sat up, avoiding Abihiko's subtle caress. He pulled his knees to his chest and hugged them. "Don't. I've made my peace with that. Even for Binders, some things are nigh unachievable. The Great Lords made sure of that."

From what he had heard from Okinaga, that had been the exact case.

They had cut him up into chunks. Had given each body part to one another. Had burned him down to ash. Then scattered him -- who knew where.

Likely, none of the Lords had even learned where his body was dumped by others so that nobody could trace it.

Such a thorough scattering could not be undone by usual means like reverting the matter to its original composition. There would be no body left to call the other body parts to it, so it would be impossible to even try.

It... hurt to even think about.

That no part of his original body existed to even attempt to gather them back.

Add to this the fact that his name had been erased from history, and that nobody outside of the Lords had even known his true identity before, and...

You end up with a person who might as well never existed.

Nekohiko bit down his lip to root himself back to reality and the physical pain rather than the emotional one. He shook his head and wanted to stand up and go back to the meditation, or back to making out with Abihiko... whatever was on the menu right now. But when he glanced back at Abihiko just one time--

He found Abihiko watching him with the brightest, most heartfelt smile curving his red lips.

And his fingers that held the edge of the Kitten Paw's seashell from his neck cord for Nekohiko to see.

The real one, not the wooden copy.

"Did you really think I Bound your blood to it singly because I am a creep who enjoys carrying blood-covered souvenirs with me at all times?" he asked Nekohiko, secretive. "My, your opinion of me must really be low sometimes."

Blood.

Spatters of Nekohiko's blood. The original body part.

Right here, before him.

...

...

...

Nekohiko didn't know whether he wanted to throw a rock at Abihiko or to lunge into a rib-breaking hug with him.

Probably both.

 

 

---

***

 

Nekohiko had never been so nervous and giddy with excitement before. Everything in him burned with the force of hundreds of Hira spells amplified by the Nagare electric charge.

But squealy as he felt, none of that showed on the outside as he waited for the food to be brought in at the table he and Abihiko had taken in one of the most popular Ise taverns. He sat there, staring before him blankly, and digested everything that Abihiko had told him in the Shrine's purifying waterfalls.

He could hardly remember how he and Abihiko had even gotten here.

Ah! The Ise Shrine was a blur after he and Abihiko had begun talking about his human body. They'd sat in the waterfall for about an hour more, just talking and rambling -- mainly on Nekohiko's side, only a bit on Abihiko's.

Then -- somehow -- he'd ended up dragging Abihiko out and into the city's woodland-like streets. And out of the streets -- to the districts which he knew could serve the real human food, and not the Spiritual like some of the citizens here could survive on.

He wanted... to taste, tonight.

He wanted to drink.

He wanted many things, and he couldn't stop himself from wanting to celebrate the single happiest moment of his life since he'd awoken.

He. Could. Get. His. Body. Back.

Aaaaaaaaahhhh! Yes, he could!

"Mmmm," he moaned to himself, simply unable to keep his agitation pent up inside. He rubbed his face and shook his head to free it from the overexcited thoughts. Across the round table, Abihiko held his chin on the heel of his palm, looking at Nekohiko with such warm enjoyment, Nekohiko felt a bit humiliated from having been so emotional tonight.

"Sorry," he said, taking his hands off his face and sitting proper again. "I don't mean to act so dramatically and make a fool of myself. I am just so... happy."

Abihiko's sly smile deepened. "Neko, you have walked here just as impassive-looking as always and sat here for half an hour just staring at the table like it had personally offended your family. The most overemotional thing you did was twirling that one time in the street, which scared me because I thought you tripped and wanted to catch you."

Numbly, Nekohiko blinked at him.

"I thought you were trying to make out with me again."

At last, Abihiko stopped smiling and dared to look a little bit shy as he dropped his gaze. "Well. No..."

"You should warn me next time because I did think you did, which was why I began groping you and you had to dodge me again and barge into that flower shop to escape public scorn," Nekohiko said accusingly. "You made me look like a fool, see?"

"What made you think I would want to make out in the street like that?" Abihiko asked, hushed. "We are adult people, this is inappropriate!"

"So you don't mind it when we make out away from other people watching?"

...

Ever since they had kissed in the waterfall and Abihiko had distracted Nekohiko with conversations about his body -- they hadn't really come close to each other again. Whatever Abihiko had told him about direly wanting him, he had been pretty avoidant so far.

Playing hard-to-get again?

Nekohiko knew Abihiko had given him a good reason: that Abihiko didn't like his doll body and that it made him uncomfortable. But he somehow doubted this was the only reason.

Abihiko's feverish kissing him in the waterfall had been hard to explain with anything like that.

It had been passion incarnate. Raw, animalistic, entitled.

A want so pure, it must have been building up for years, if not decades, unable to find release. Yet instead of scaring Nekohiko off, it only ignited his curiosity that much more.

Because it meant Abihiko had been lying to him all these years ago, too -- about finding it perfectly sufficient for him to solely hold Nekohiko's hand and maybe an occasional kiss here and there. Gods, it was such an obvious lie.

Abihiko wanted more. Oh so much more.

Always.

He wanted Nekohiko so much, he would deny or ignore his own desires for years at a time, just to not overwhelm or burden Nekohiko with them.

And finally knowing that filled Nekohiko with a strange serenity he had never known he would cherish so much.

"Our food is coming," Abihiko warned, and Nekohiko had to let his amused flirtatiousness subside.

For a while.

They were in a public place, after all.

The buildings in Ise were quite different from the streets and the Shrine, though. If the streets didn't look like any streets in the common sense at all -- then the buildings were rather human.

The entrances to them hid within the Spiritside pockets merged with the actual trees in the Ise woods, but one wouldn't know it until someone Spiritually-attuned or an actual Spirit welcomed them inside.

But once a person stepped onto this tree or that -- they would be transported to the other side this tree led into.

The Spiritside version of Ise -- the place where Spirits gathered and lived deliciously.

It could be called the Spiritual capital, for how densely populated and brimming with Spiritual life this place was. Humans were barely the guests here, and only then -- allowed to stay in the premises because the Spirits were hospitable enough.

Which wasn't always. On some days, seemingly without reason, the Spirits would deport all humans back into the real world regardless of how long the humans had stayed here. And any human who caused trouble would be kicked out just as easily, too.

All in all, the Spirits were far less lawless than humans in governing a place. If only Nekohiko or other humans could tell what the laws were because, most of the time, they seemed arbitrary.

The gorgeous many-tiered arena with the fighting giant Spirits in the center made the tavern in which Nekohiko and Abihiko had decided to dine. The way the tavern functioned made almost no sense for a human mind, but Nekohiko could still perceive a sort of a building the likes of gambling parlors in Nara, and the tiered floors surrounding the arena in the middle. From the arena center, came roars and mad dashes of motion as the battling Spirits tossed each other to the squeals and howls from the Spirit audience. Cat Spirits, two-headed deer, eels wearing human masks, crocodile monks, folded umbrellas on legs, and bamboo mat Spirits -- all gathered around in the cacophony of Spiritual noise and cheered and betted on the thunderous battle.

Sometimes, an occasional fighting move shook the entire building.

The lights shone in glowing maple leaves and the yellow ginkgo leaves across the filigree ceiling. The curling incense smoke drew letters in the air -- probably because of some other Spirits communicating with each other in this way.

But Nekohiko only had eyes on Abihiko.

Nothing the world of Spirits could do for him tonight. Because, perhaps a little belatedly and unexpectedly, but he did remember that he was -- above all -- a human.

Soon, if everything Abihiko had told him was as smooth as he'd made it out to be -- he would have his old body back.

"Your order, Majesties," some human girl greeted them as she approached with a tray.

Nekohiko glared at the dismissive way in which she called him and Abihiko "majesties" without batting an eye. Was it so obvious to Spiritually-attuned people who they were?

This girl didn't even look that Spiritual. Something about the way she walked and talked made her seem like a far cry from Kotone or Haehime.

"Is it something that you can see so easily in us?" Nekohiko asked her as she served them.

"Ah? Nooo... Just the Old Man Koi Fish Spirit told me." The girl gave Nekohiko and Abihiko a matter-of-fact nod, then left anyway. "Five golden rice from ya, don't forget to pay."

...

"Thanks."

Did being a true Emperor in Ise feel like such a mundane thing to everyone?

What would any of these people be ever impressed with, then?

Unashamed, Abihiko drew out his absorption and food-savoring aspects, just to pass over to Nekohiko.

Nekohiko frowned. "Stop wasting your Binding on such minuscule things. I can do it myself."

"My treat."

"Piss off."

Nekohiko still abused Abihiko's temporary savoring and absorption aspects to the fullest. He could get nutrition from tonight's meal, at last!

Why not indulge himself a little?

The delicate flesh of the spiny red lobster, lightly grilled in its shell. Neither sweet nor sour, just perfect. Meat stripes so marbled with buttery fat, they melted in his mouth, filling him with the sweet aftertaste and the fragrance of herbs.

Noodles! Thick, soft, chewy topped with freshly-cut greens, dripping with the rich dark sauce. Nekohiko was so obsessed with slurping down on them, he somehow ended up making a mess of their table and Abihiko had to dab it dry with a napkin.

He had actually become rather full at this point, but it didn't stop him from gorging on the wrapped boiled meat inside a rice pocket, juicy, rich, maddening flavor! And what about the marinated fish side meal he took over from Abihiko even though he hadn't wanted it at first.

Now he wanted it!

Now he wanted everything!

"Stop -- you won't have room for dessert," Abihiko tried to tell him, waving the soft rice cake covered in red bean paste in his hand.

Nekohiko's favorite!

Ah...

"Give me that rice cake or I am not responsible for my actions!"

"..."

The only thing Nekohiko didn't abuse tonight was the alcohol, and only because the memory of having done it on his and Abihiko's first official dinner date a few weeks ago was still fresh in his mind.

Ugh.

Morokata using the opportunity and kissing Nekohiko while he'd been drunk...

Disgusting.

That said, there was no Morokata nearby and only Abihiko. And their sleeping lodge in the Ise Shrine tonight was so... nice and soothing and...

Special.

It was hard for Nekohiko not to think about it and what how he and Abihiko could... maybe--

"Think about what I told you, all right?" Abihiko said once he and Nekohiko went down the woodland "hallways" of the Ise Shrine.

Their new small "room" in Ise was behind the gushing waterfall, and so one wall in their cavern-like bedroom was a flowing sheet of water, bringing the healing energy along with it and filling the confine with its gentle, natural purl. The Spirit butterflies from the Shrine phased through the woody walls and gave the room a starry luminescence as they fluttered about.

On the floor, among the moss, fluffy like the thickest rich carpet, grew tiny flowers that emitted myriads of spores into the air -- smelling of deep woodland and glowing, too. The atmosphere of holiness and calm filled the place, and once Nekohiko lay down on the moss and cuddled into his Bound-leaf blanket, he saw that the trees high overhead weren't that thick at all. Not a canopy ceiling, but a lace of branches, and in the gaps between them --

-- a starry sky, deep and endless.

"There is a lot to absorb for you tonight. So it's better to take it slow and think it through, little by little." Abihiko lay down a bit away from Nekohiko, and Nekohiko scowled in dejection.

Huh?

"Good night, Neko."

Nekohiko agreed that the body talks were a bit too dramatic for him to take in all at once for now. So he didn't bother yet.

He would think about it tomorrow, after he'd calmed down and could analyze it sensibly. Without his emotions clouding his mind too much.

Tonight, he wanted to get rid of all his pent-up emotions and cravings.

Food, yes. Delicious teas, yes. Even desserts and watching some Spirits punch each other to near-death -- great!

But what about...

...some other cravings? Like his curiosity?

Like his amusement and fascination with Abihiko's profound desire for him. And with how long Abihiko had kept this desire under control.

Nekohiko was intrigued.

Just what did Abihiko truly want to do to him that they hadn't already done when they were young?

Not just touching and rubbing? Not kissing or sucking some shameful places? A thing that Nekohiko had had a hard time accepting already since it set his skin on fire with too much intensity.

But if not that -- then what?

Something... else?

Without knowing why, Nekohiko's felt his throat go dry. He failed to swallow as he watched Abihiko turn his back to him, preparing to sleep.

Nekohiko licked his parched lips. Then slowly bit down into them, hesitating.

Abihiko would reject him again, yes?

He'd said he didn't want to do it with this body. He wanted the human one... plus, Abihiko's guilt. It still clearly loomed over him, making him unable to make the first move or even accept it when Nekohiko made the move instead.

...

Ah, would Abihiko reject him even if Nekohiko offered, again?

Probably.

And Nekohiko would never assault him and force him to show his true colors to him. 

However, Abihiko couldn't control what Nekohiko did to himself, yes?

...

Nekohiko's breath hitched when he slowly lowered his hand down to his crotch and the small wooden part that he had never wanted to be there. But now, he didn't mind its presence nearly as much. He only wondered if it worked exactly like--

At his first tentative moves down the flaccid length, the cock that was Bound to be soft in general, suddenly tensed in Nekohiko's fingers. And sprang to life.

Agh! Yes, it worked exactly like...

The wooden dick worked exactly like the real one -- and the sensations it let him feel were the same kind, too... The hot, concentrated pleasure that needed the relief. Desperately.

Instead of going on with it, Nekohiko hid his face under the blanket, his heart beating so wildly inside him, he was afraid Abihiko would hear.

He had just made his stupid wooden cock harden with his motions. A wooden member, aaargh!

How low had he fallen that he not only accepted its existence but also made use of it?

"No, no, no," he whispered to himself, unable to cope.

He wasn't just doing it for no reason. He was... celebrating the fact that this body was only a temporary one. Yes. Celebrating...

Nothing too shameful. Just his natural curiosity. He wasn't lustful or shameless like all those sex-crazed people out in the big world.

He was just a young man who could.

So he did.

What would be the big deal?

Timid, he peeked out of the blanket, his right hand going down to palm his throbbing length once again. Then, after his cock reacted to his touch with a tense twitching as though anticipating something more from him, he slid his fingers up and down again.

And again, cringing all through at the subtle whisper of wooden fingers around a wooden shaft.

Frankly, it sounded like two wooden sticks being rubbed against each other.

Not sexy at all.

He chased any thoughts about this being inappropriate and went on, frozen under his blanket with the pleasure spreading from the center of his body in all directions.

Pleasure, and the pent-up longing.

A need, for release.

Like he and Abihiko had helped him do all those years ago. Ahh, just even remembering it all--

Up and down, faster.

Sparks and tingles lit up across Nekohiko's body, settling in a weightless sensation in his lower abdomen. Tense, hard-to-ignore anticipation mixed in with a bit of fear. 

His breath hastened. His spine went taut. All the sensations concentrated in his pulsating, swollen cock now, and he welcomed that. Again, he bit down on his lip to prohibit any sound that might escape his mouth by accident. His toes curled, and his mind went blank with need.

It was in this frustrated silence as his body slowly built up to the climax he now wanted to postpone, so sweet the pleasure was -- that he heard Abihiko's blanket rustle.

Abihiko turned around -- just an arm's length away, and watched him with a mix of torment and arousal and shock on his face.

And judging by how hard he bit into his own red lip, he also had a hard time breathing calmly or gulping down his dry throat.

"Neko," he said, aggravated. "You aren't sleeping."

Instead of arguing, Nekohiko only looked at him from over the small gap that separated them.

But he never stopped doing what he did.

If anything, he began pumping his hand faster because just seeing Abihiko watching him gave him tingles. He didn't want to slow down.

He wanted to come, next to him. While their eyes were locked.

...

Abihiko's teeth released his lower lip, leaving a hard imprint on it.

His eyes burned as they lowered down Nekohiko's body. To that part under the blanket where Nekohiko was moving his hand up and down in the ever-more erratic manner, mad with the building-up pleasure. Then lifted up to Nekohiko's eyes once again.

"You are really into torturing me tonight, aren't you?"

And Nekohiko could only tell him back, with a desire-filled hum:

"Yeah."

Just the way he said this seemed to drive Abihiko insane. Because Abihiko shut his eyes for a moment and let out a ragged breath as he curled inward under his own blanket.

As if he was desperately trying to hide the fact that he, too, was aroused beyond measure.

As if desperately trying to deny it and even suppress it.

Tonight, no such chance.