Chapter Hundred and Eight

Happily Obsessed

 

 

Nekohiko didn't know what to do. Kasuga's sudden desire to embrace him took him aback.

His old habit of recoiling or shying from other people's touches surged up, but he didn't let it overpower him. Instead, he willed his arms to surround Kasuga from the back -- in a slow, tentative hug.

Then, because it seemed so easy to do, his hold tightened and he crushed her against himself, burying his nose in her short black hair.

She shivered against him, as though close to sobbing.

"Kasuga..." He patted her awkwardly on the shoulder and threw a desperate glance at Mikawa.

The boy still hovered in the air a few steps away, his face wrought with tangled emotions. Wariness, anxiety, and above all -- sadness when he saw his sister in this state.

"I thought you wouldn't come," Kasuga said, finally catching her tone under her control.

She pushed herself from Nekohiko, her big black eyes meeting his.

"You left us to fend for ourselves for so long."

...

"There were... complications along my journey." Nekohiko still didn't feel like dumping all the myriads of frustrating things that had happened to him. Kasuga already had enough on her plate. "But I am here now and fully on your side. Do not worry. I-- we," he corrected himself, aware of Abihiko's silent yet undeniable support. "We won't let anything bad happen to you."

Kasuga stared at him for a long time, only slightly shifting her gaze to Abihiko at some point. She had never begun crying even though she'd seemed like it at first -- but now she was back at her usual self. Collected, taut as a metal rod, and incessantly polite.

"Thank you, my lords." She stepped backward, folding her hands behind her. "The Nagare Kingdom will never forget your leniency."

Tsk, Kasuga...

Nekohiko had seen her even more vulnerable than now, but he knew the girl didn't deal well with so many people around. He made a note to speak to her privately once their most immediate concerns were out of the way and ached at the realization that he only had a real chance to work it out with her. But not with Mikawa.

As the four of them and their fancy Bound horse rose through the clouds in a Nagare spell formation of floating -- the young boy kept his distance from him. Nonetheless, he acted much more friendly with Abihiko. He nodded and even smiled at some throwaway smalltalk Abihiko made about the state of Suzumegara after the Fuji disaster. But Mikawa said nothing to Nekohiko, only blinking at him in tentative fear and discomfort.

...

Gloom infected Nekohiko's mood and never let go even though he kept himself perfectly concentrated on the conversations at hand.

Suzumegara's recovery after the Fuji battle. The condition of the Nagare Kingdom along the borders. What happened to the Fuji region, overall? Healed fully? What was it with Hisomes accusing Mikawa's disguise as Arata?

The only thing they didn't talk about was the Trial itself, but they would have plenty of time to do that soon enough. In a secure, mindful environment, not while rushing to ascend to Suzumegara and the Nagare city on top of it. The colossal Bizarre Beast was such a welcome, familiar sight to Nekohiko that he smiled the closer they came to It.

The enormous dark body, covered with plates of metal and black glass -- the size of mountains, yet so beautiful. Across Its polished, slick black surface, the stars and clouds from Its surroundings were reflected -- along with the hazy luminescence of Its league-long Spirit wings. Blue, purpling deep underneath, with strands of brighter white and pink and green like scattered shimmer.

Suzumegara waved Its wings slowly, heavily, and the Spirit essence they were made off diffused into the creeping night. All around It, sky boats and surfing spell formations of other Nagare flyers rose and fell like tiny moths, too far to see they were actual people.

Ah, coming back to Nagare almost felt like going back home, didn't it?

Yet the autumn air was so chilly, Nekohiko found himself curling in against the cold as they rose through the air. Instantly, he grew aware of Abihiko standing nearby and thought...

Abihiko is always so hot. Isn't it convenient for me?

To cling to him all of a sudden?

As he discreetly glanced at Abihiko, he found Abihiko glancing back just as discreetly. Coy, Abihiko arched an eyebrow, and Nekohiko felt bullied again.

Yet before he could turn away in dejection, Abihiko leaned onto him and hugged him from the side. The warmth of his body engulfed Nekohiko so fast, Nekohiko didn't even notice at first that the hug was...

...a headlock?!

And one accompanied with Abihiko's mean chuckle, too.

"You-- what insolence!" Nekohiko sputtered. He and Abihiko ended up struggling and tackling each other on such high altitudes, and even the presence of the prim Nagare siblings didn't stop them.

When they arrived at the greeting balconies of the side edge of Suzumegara -- Nekohiko was so huffy and disheveled from his wrestling with Abihiko that all he could do was straighten his robes and step off the spell formation.

"I apologize for my husband's manners," he announced to Kasuga haughtily. "He isn't accustomed to... fine societies."

"I live in a Palace," Abihiko said from the back. "In the capital."

"But it's not like anyone invited you there," Nekohiko mumbled under his nose. "And it shows."

Kasuga cleared her throat pointedly because already several Nagare officers approached them, saluting.

"Take care of the Bound steed," she ordered, descending the balcony steps as she spearheaded their way into the city and its streets. Mikawa followed close beside her, throwing sheepish looks at the Nagare soldiers who still ignored him most of the time.

Nekohiko followed after and Abihiko brought the rear -- which displaced Nekohiko greatly. He would prefer they walked side by side.

"You don't have to act like you're my bodyguard," he told Abihiko. "Stop checking around as though you think we're constantly under attack. I know the Nagare household has plenty of Morokata people in it and that most of the nobles here are cutthroat and corrupt, but..."

Let's just ease down a bit. It's already intense with the preparations for the Trial.

"Huuh?" Abihiko faked a clueless mien. "Don't worry, I am just checking out what you look like from the back. Very, very attractive."

...

"Have you decided to drive me insane lately?" Nekohiko pinched Abihiko's ear and, once again, they almost began wrestling. But this time, so many people were around them on the streets that Nekohiko didn't dare.

He still poked Abihiko in the side as they strode after Kasuga. He didn't notice when their petty elbowing turned into just holding hands only a few minutes later. Their fingers twined together tentatively, by the barest tips and Nekohiko even thought it was merely... accidental. Must be because of the sights and liveliness in the districts they had to go through to get to the Nagare castle. They were too distracted, so they had to hold on to each other, or they would get lost in the buzzing crowd.

The magnetic Bound dummies zoomed through the air and the cold, electric glow welcomed them wherever they turned. The walk wasn't long because the district they had arrived to already was close to the castle, but even a brief tour through the nighttime city was exhilarating.

The last time Nekohiko had come here, he hadn't paid nearly as much attention to the parlors and the restaurants and the rooftop gardens as he did now.

Why?

Maybe because he hadn't needed or cared about visiting any of these places?

But now... he did. He wanted to visit so many, just because he saw how dreamy Abihiko's gaze was when he cast a glance across all the stores and theater houses they passed. No longer being alone, Nekohiko wouldn't mind... going somewhere.

If only to see Abihiko in his true element: enjoying life and having fun, like in their youth.

The talks of the passersby and the music on the streets blurred in Nekohiko's mind, and so did the light-filled city. Only Abihiko's face remained etched into his memory. The smile on his red lips.

"You were riding for a whole day, yes?" Kasuga asked once the emptier governmental district leading up to the castle showed beyond the busy main streets.

She stopped and turned around, her pale face lifted to Abihiko's. "I think we should better keep the discussions of the Trial plan for tomorrow morning, after the two of you have rested."

"No need," Nekohiko and Abihiko said in unison. Nekohiko took it over. "We're here for you. The sooner we begin planning, the better the outcome will be."

Though subtly, but Kasuga's eyes warmed up. "Oh. Well. I wanted to suggest you two stay in this inn for rest -- as I do not believe it is sensible for all of us to go back into the castle together."

Of course. Nekohiko and Abihiko weren't easily recognizable in their disguised garb now, in the middle of a crowded street, but no doubt some of the Nagare nobles would recognize him the moment they laid eyes on Abihiko -- whatever clothes he wore.

"But since you two do not want to rest yet..."

Abihiko nodded to the minimalistic but well-kept small building which Kasuga had pointed out earlier. "Talking about our issues can be done in an inn room too, no? Is it just going to be you and Mikawa?"

"Mn!"

And Kasuga was the first toward the inn, the sign reading "A Warrior's Haven" over the darkly-slick entry gates.

The name of the inn wasn't... promising, to be honest. And Nekohiko wasn't the only one who thought so.

"I hope they offer some real mattresses in there," Abihiko sighed. "And not the usual Nagare-stone slabs they call a mattress."

"They do not," Mikawa murmured, miserable. "Sorry."

"Aiiihh." Abihiko winced. "Have mercy on me. My poor back."

So annoyed Nekohiko had been with Abihiko's teasing all through the day that he couldn't hold himself off before he blurted, "--is what you'll tell me one of these nights."

"..."

Kasuga's and Mikawa's silence was particularly eloquent, but Nekohiko just couldn't let this chance to get back at Abihiko go!

It was too obvious and beautiful a revenge. The same sexual innuendo Abihiko had given him just yesterday.

It was worth it.

That said, he still felt ashamed of himself once the blood rush of his success wore off. He had to be in the same room as these two kids -- and after having said something so perverted to Abihiko right in front of them.

This marriage was such a bad influence on his persona, wasn't it?

"I want to apologize for my husband's behavior," Abihiko told Kasuga bashfully. "He is not very used to... finer societies. He is such a barbarian in bed and outside it, ah!"

Yep.

Definitely a bad influence.

 

 

---

***

 

 

Inside, the inn hallways and rooms were the typical Nagare stylistic: cold, smooth, glasslike, and dark. But the small rooms he and Abihiko were taken into had a cozy flair. Though Kasuga might not appreciate fluffy covers and bedding, she did take note of Abihiko's complaint and ordered the innkeeper to get some Imperial fashion mattresses inside.

It was too early for mattresses, though. Nekohiko checked on the new, enticingly fluffy bedding in the bedroom, then pulled the doors closed and went back into the main rented room.

Abihiko, Kasuga, and Mikawa already sat around the small table, sipping tea and waiting for Nekohiko. He dallied before choosing a spot to sit -- but it was a no-brainer anyway. The Nagare housing was cold and harsh. As close to Abihiko's wondrous warmth as possible was clearly the best seat in the world.

"We have the accounts of the events from the Nagare, Hira, and Towa sides written down by the witnesses present," Kasuga was telling Abihiko as she showed him and Nekohiko a small list with notes she kept inside her lapels. "I will bring the actual documents tomorrow."

"And the codex of the martial law?" Nekohiko asked, scanning the other points in Kasuga's list.

There were a ton of items there, but none that he considered all that important for the defense. Only the Spiritual and human law mattered, not even the recounts of the witnesses.

He knew the legal codes in each Kingdom by heart having studied all such crucial stuff throughout his childhood and youth. But just in case any of the recent year additions or corrections were too drastic...

"I will bring a copy here tomorrow as well."

The girl was very thorough yet seemingly too shy to ask for more than Abihiko or Nekohiko said on their own volition. Was it pride or asociality that made her so reluctant to demand answers and concrete plans? So far, she seemed content with just the readiness Abihiko and Nekohiko showed. 

Nothing more she dared to hope for, poor girl.

"We will take care of it, don't worry," Abihiko promised her, then began asking her about her relatives and some other Nagare ministers and councilors he knew personally.

Nekohiko recalled that Abihiko had once schemed with Kasuga against her treacherous family and the supposed spies of Morokata among her relatives. Abihiko had even gone to a social event with the Nagare nobles last time he'd been here.

But Nekohiko had so little interest in that side of political life that he tuned this conversation out and focused on deciphering Kasuga's notes.

However, a certain name spoken out broke his concentration. Kasuga just mentioned it... so off-handedly...

Sakami.

Nekohiko flinched.

He snapped his head to Kasuga. "Wait, you just said -- Sakami has relations with some of the Nagare nobles?"

Huh? What?

Since when?

The thought caught Abihiko off guard, too. "So Lady Sakami is here, in Nagare? When has she gotten here?"

The two of them exchanged frightened glances, then looked at Mikawa for answers. Because Kasuga also seemed quite surprised they had no idea about Sakami's whereabouts.

On Kasuga's side, Mikawa desperately stared at the floor, his thin shoulders raised as though against someone's assault. The boy was ashen with dismay, and Nekohiko felt a pang of pity for him.

But also -- confusion. Mikawa clearly seemed guilty, yet he still didn't speak up. Only hid behind Kasuga, avoiding Nekohiko's gaze like a  terrified puppy would.

"Of course she is. Mikawa brought her here a week ago," Kasuga said, lost. "Weren't both of you there when he and Lady Hisome fled from Nara's Doll Palace together?"

Yes. But--

"I talked to young Mikawa afterward. But he didn't say anything about her being here," Nekohiko said, trying not to sound like he was blaming the boy for anything. He genuinely didn't want any trouble for Mikawa. If the boy chose not to tell him about Sakami's destination, it was probably due to her own wishes or because Mikawa might have perceived Nekohiko as a threat to her.

He totally understood the sentiment.

It hurt, of course, but he chose not to dwell on it.

"Anyway, I am glad that Lady Sakami felt safe enough to come stay here," Nekohiko finished. "I only hope her rest here does not come with any... blackmailing or hostage implications for her against her family?"

Kasuga's cheeks brightened as she flushed. "No. Of course no. The Trial is about my actions during the Fuji incident and has nothing to do with this Lady's blood relationship to other Hisomes."

Good, sweet girl, Kasuga.

"And besides, after what Mikawa told me about her suffering at the hands of her own kin in The Doll Palace..." Kasuga's features hardened. She shook her head in disgust. "This is a refuge for her, not a hostage situation. She can go free any time she wants and I gladly offered her to leave for Lord Hira's Kingdom instead, seeing as he is a far more neutral ally for her to be with compared to the Nagare Kingdom. But she has refused so far."

...

Hm. Interesting why.

Once again, the vague suspicions Nekohiko had gained about Sakami sparked brighter in his mind. This time, even Abihiko contemplated Kasuga's words as though finding them odd.

"Thank you, Queen Kasuga, for taking care of her. She deserves some kindness in her life," Abihiko told the girl softly, then shared a look with Nekohiko as though consulting him.

Nekohiko understood the meaning of that gaze immediately.

"Sakami might not want to go back to her family, but... her family is our enemies at the Trial. Her loyalties to them might still be stronger than her suffering at their hand," Nekohiko told the two Nagare siblings. He made sure Kasuga heard him and agreed. "She absolutely can not know we are here, in Nagare, now. After all, it is hard to tell what methods of connecting to each other the high-born Hisome family members have. But just in case..."

"Yes, of course. She never leaves the castle anyway, and you will never come close to it. That won't be an issue, then."

Phew.

As long as nothing, in any way, endangered their time here...

With that out of the way, Abihiko put all his attention to Mikawa. "It would have been great to know about Lady Sakami's presence here beforehand."

"Mn. It would have been," Mikawa said at last, his voice tiny. Shuddering, he raised his eyes but avoided looking at Nekohiko with all his might. "But... Lady S-sakami does not want Lord... Nekohiko to know about where she is and about her wellbeing, and since the only way we could have talked to each other was through Lord Nekohiko's bodies -- I had to respect Lady Sakami's wishes."

The room never felt colder.

Now, Kasuga found the statement not to her taste. She cast an irritated look at her brother. "We are at war, and all allies here. I doubt Lady Sakami's sadness about the outcome of the Imperial Wedding should impact our planning or interactions."

Mikawa trembled but withstood Kasuga's scorn. His fists curled in atop his lap. "It isn't solely Lady Sakami's choice either. I agree about some of her... grievances."

...

Spirits.

Nekohiko obliquely leaned away from Abihiko. His back went stiff and his voice -- leaden.

"Lord Mikawa, if you have something to tell me about this issue, then please -- let us talk," Nekohiko said. "I believe you think I mistreated many people with my actions during and after the Imperial Wedding--"

"You took her face. You literally erased her from existence for several hours," Mikawa said, hushed. With how shaken and mortified the boy appeared, Nekohiko could bet he was not too far away from fainting from stress. Yet Mikawa kept going, as if finally finding it in himself to confront Nekohiko face-to-face. "And that poor man, Umino Arata... And what about all those other Hisome Ladies who had been in that dressing room along with Lady Sakami? They must have been punished too, no lighter than Arata had been!"

But the Throne was mine.

Rightfully mine, all along! What could I have possibly done -- let it be taken away from me like that? Nekohiko wanted to reply back but found no strength in himself to do so.

He hadn't wanted anyone to get hurt in his wake, but such words would sound hollow now, after all was done. After so many had ended up hurt.

"--and Master Kataji, too," Mikawa kept going, unnerved. "You weren't there, to see just how shattered and worried and miserable he had been when he thought you were in danger! All while you were just being married -- behind his back. Without even deigning to tell him the truth."

Gods, Mikawa, stop...

You are breaking my heart anew with all this.

"And then -- Lord Abihiko, too." Mikawa blinked hard, slowly growing red with shame. "That night when we escaped over the Nara rooftops, you almost killed him, and me -- in the process! After that, you married him as though you really wanted to when you clearly didn't. But then... you were cheating on him afterward... and in front of Lady Sakami. It's so vile, why can't you understand that?"

At last, he chose to meet Nekohiko's gaze in full. His eyes were red and gleaming with angry tears, and Nekohiko could feel the first burning scald his own eyes, too.

But he couldn't manage a single word out.

He just didn't feel like it was worth it, to defend himself against something so true and obvious.

"I'm sorry," he stammered. He wanted to leave and go away for a few moments -- to collect himself.

Yet before he could rise to his feet, Abihiko clutched his hand.

And held it down. Firm.

"Who are you to talk to him like that?" Abihiko asked Mikawa, a grim, stormy undertone to his voice. "You don't know anything about him or the reasons for his actions."

Nekohiko froze, frightened.

Kasuga's smooth forehead creased with a frown. Protective about her little brother, as always. Yet Mikawa didn't want her protection.

"But you two did abandon Elder Sister all alone -- without even checking on any of us for days!"

"It is no matter now, we are all here," Kasuga wedged in.

Mikawa already turned back to Nekohiko, eyes burning. "We checked all the wood chips and blocks of you we had and even called you. You never answered! You only come when you please and only to take, not to give back--!"

"Do not talk about things you have no understanding of," Abihiko cut with deadly quiet.

"Abihiko, please," Nekohiko tried to stop him from going on.

Abihiko shrugged him off without bother.

"Neko's doll body has been corrupted by insidious spells and the resentment of Spirits. Have you ever heard of the Puppetry spells or the blood Orders masters give to their dolls? Have you ever heard of what changes the Imperial powers can do to a person? Especially if he is Spiritually-attuned? Have you ever wondered why the true Emperor's powers can even be given to a single person? It's because these powers come with severe drawbacks, Mikawa, that is why," Abihiko spoke, dry and curt. "Have you ever considered what life is like when you are a piece of wood that anyone can burn, destroy, or throw away and how much you would cling to whoever saved you just to stay alive? Being a person without personhood, mobility, rights, freedom, life, or even safety in your tomorrow?

"Tell me more about how Nekohiko 'mistreated' Kataji or me or Sakami or Arata. But please do that while taking into account every single thing that he has to constantly fight against or guard against even within his own body."

...

Nekohiko listened, deep in shock, almost unable to parse what was being said.

"Even now, there are insidious ways in which his body is being influenced," Abihiko said, looking down. He lifted his left wrist. "The marriage Bond between him and me, for example. Or the Imperial powers inside him. Or the Spirits that do impact his decisions and goals in this life. Or the Empire itself. Speak nothing about the resentment curses inside him put there by Morokata and Hibiki -- that made him act out whenever he was close to me."

Mikawa gaped, just as stunned by this as Nekohiko was.

Even Abihiko himself suddenly grew self-conscious. With difficulty, he swallowed before finishing his tirade off with a sigh. "And please note that... Kataji and Arata and yes, even Sakami, had hurt him or mistreated him way before. Not in the same ways, of course. And in regards to me... I have hurt him the most. So..."

...

You... hurt me right now, too.

Why are you...

...like this? Why do you defend me so thoroughly and so hopelessly?

I did make some shitty choices in my life. Not every one of them had been because I was influenced by something or someone!

Mikawa and Kasuga both stared at Abihiko, wide-eyed and aghast with the torrent of information upon their heads. Then the young boy covered his face with his hands as though wishing to hide.

"I didn't know--"

"Now you do." Abihiko swilled the tea in his half-empty cup and looked over it at Mikawa. "Never talk to him in that tone again. Especially not on my behalf."

"Y-yes, of course." Mikawa blinked at Nekohiko helplessly. "S-sorry if I upset you--"

"Mmm." Nekohiko couldn't muster a single word out of his mouth, so distraught he felt.

He rose from the floor rigidly, then paused, not knowing what to do next.

His limbs were taut, his mind racing. Even his heart was in turmoil and seemed to want to jump out of his ribcage, so fast it ran.

Instead of speaking, he gestured at the bedroom doors clumsily to show where he wanted to leave, then stumbled toward it. His hands shook on the door frame as he slid it open and closed -- and even more so when he clamped his hand over his mouth, too frustrated to not hyperventilate. 

Aaaaah, he just didn't know what came over him and the others.

He only knew he couldn't face them all at once now. He had to... sit back here and gather his thoughts. Calm down. Breathe. Stop panicking so much...

The small bedroom was dark, and the next room looked like a bleary paper lantern, glowing from the outside through the silk screen sections in the closed doors. But no sounds.

The Nagare siblings and Abihiko were as quiet as Nekohiko had left them, and this only made Nekohiko worry so much more. They were uncomfortable, knowing he would hear them -- so of course they wouldn't talk now.

Nekohiko quickly cast a sound-suppressing spell on the doors and walls, certain that the three others would sense the swell of his Binding aura and know that he shut them out of his hearing range. With that done, he could relax just a tiny bit more.

The light from that room still trickled into the bedroom through the doors, but not so much that he couldn't pretend nobody was present. And that nobody would be talking about him there.

And that, overall, nothing weird had just happened there altogether. 

He lay down on the new fluffy mattress and curled in against the chilly air. He still found it impossible to think about the bizarre conversation between Abihiko and Mikawa, so after only a few long minutes of tempestuous silence, he could no longer hope to wait the other three out.

The only sane thing that was left to him was...

To doze off, tired from the long day's ride and every emotional pit he had encountered in Nagare thus far. Though even that didn't come easy for him.

 

 

---

***

 

 

Abihiko's presence brought him out of his uncertain half-napping, half-lying down in the bleary dark. A warm, comforting feel that came from Abihiko's mere caress. His fingers brushed Nekohiko's hair away from his face, and that was enough for Nekohiko to wake up, fully and at once.

He peered at Abihiko in the darkness. 

"Please don't do that ever again for my sake. I hated every minute of it."

He said it softly, not meaning to scold or accuse Abihiko of anything. Only to make his wishes known.

Abihiko closed his eyes as though in agreement.

"I am sorry. I know you hate open conflict like that. But it wasn't conflict, really. Just telling things how they are."

"I still hate it. I hate people in general. Precisely because... they are bound to misunderstand me, and I -- them. And I don't want that. It is always easier to never get too close to them in the first place."

In the velvety silence of their small room, Abihiko's quiet breaths sounded so peaceful.

With pain, Nekohiko remembered all those months of endless arguments and drama when the Civil War between him and the Usurper began... How much time and effort and... patience and his sanity he had wasted back then! The Great Lords were so argumentative...

Agh, he didn't even want to recall any of that!

And even before that -- all those kids at Izumo, including Abihiko when the two of them hadn't been friends. So much frustration, humiliation, pain... And all while he had always believed it wasn't his fault, either. Only when Abihiko had told him once that he came across as incredibly mean and cold-hearted to others, did Nekohiko begin realizing. His reluctance to befriend others or to explain his behaviors to them -- must also feel quite frustrating, humiliating and painful to them.

But this was just how he'd been born.

He simply didn't feel the need to talk to others or to explain himself. Why would he ever need to? He didn't owe anyone an explanation.

No, Nekohiko definitely didn't want to engage with people. Fuck people. To hell with them.

He was staying alone for the rest of his life and he was perfectly fine about that.

But then why did it ache so much to realize this now?

He half-expected Abihiko to draw back and leave him be, but of course that would never happen.

Abihiko smiled.

"You are so much like yourself. You haven't changed at all ever since I first met you -- that small, scowly, cold little boy who either ignored everyone around him or pushed them away instead."

...

A string in Nekohiko's heart twinged in subtle pain. He tensed up.

"But that is only how you are on the outside. I learned just how sweet and tender you are once one gets to know you." Abihiko slumped against him as though in a tentative hug, and Nekohiko let him.

He even shifted aside to allow Abihiko to lie down next to him. In a breathless rush and desire for warmth, he clung to him.

"Please do not leave me. I can't handle others and nobody can reach out to me like you did. Nobody is that... obnoxious or rude or persistent. So, if it isn't for you... I would never have a chance. I would have to be alone, and I..."

I do not actually want that.

"You are the only person I can tolerate," he murmured into Abihiko's collarbone. "And who can tolerate me back without forcing me to change.

"Please do not leave me."

...

"Damn it, Neko."

Abihiko dragged in a deep, weary sigh, then let it out in a shudder.

"What are you doing to me?" he groaned. "Ever since you came back to me after these five years -- I tried so hard to not let you close. To keep you away. To not let you get used to me again... Hells. I intimidated you, I mocked you, then I was politely-cold and distant, then I was bullying you again. I murdered you, for heaven's sake. But you... just... can't keep away from me no matter what I do, can you?"

Eh?

Was Abihiko trying to push Nekohiko away all this time?

Seriously?

Nekohiko raised his face to stare at Abihiko blankly.

"You did such a poor job. I just thought you were being your usual aggravating self."

"That is the point! Why did that not deter you?!"

Because...

I actually do like your usual aggravating self. Have you not noticed it by now, idiot?

Abihiko and he lay in the darkness, staring at the ceiling upon which faint glamored stars were glowing. Subtly, Abihiko shook his head again.

"I give up. You are impossible, and however much I want to keep away from you, I can't either... But Neko." He turned to him, a shadowy outline of him so cozy and familiar in Nekohiko's arms. "I will do what I did today -- very soon. I will tell the truth about you to everyone. At the Trial.

"I want everyone to know your name. Your real name, the one all of us had covered in dirt and then erased from all the history books five years ago. And about how innocent you were, and how undeservedly betrayed by so many, many people."

...

Nekohiko was afraid to breathe, so still he became.

No, don't, he wanted to tell him.

That sounds... like such an impossible task -- and... is it even worth to try?

Can't I just be the Emperor at your side? Ruling from within the Palace without anyone knowing who I truly am or why? I just want to rule the Empire. To benefit it. To better it.

Not for everyone to necessarily know I am the one doing it.

But Abihiko sounded so inspired and excited about this that, little by little, something akin to a tender hope fluttered inside Nekohiko at his words.

"We will purify not just your bodies from the curses and the corruption. Not only your Spirit or your mind, Neko. We will clear up your name. The Trial for Kasuga is only an excuse for me and you to gain access to the entire country -- listening and watching and paying attention to it."

"I think you are... a bit insane," Nekohiko said at last. "Quite a bit obsessed."

Abihiko's grin flashed so bright, even in the swaddling shadows.

"You don't know even the half of it, Neko."

 

 

---

***

 

Although Abihiko had stated that Kasuga's defense was merely a justification for him to try and clear up Nekohiko's name at the tribunal, he didn't abandon the work on her actual trial.

He claimed they would do both things, and that one would be somehow tied to the other, so...

Nekohiko just trusted him on this. Abihiko worked on the social and political aspect of their case while Nekohiko devoted all his focus to the bureaucracy and the legal paperwork. He didn't want to hear much about what Abihiko came up with for his own defense at court, so he focused solely on Kasuga's issue. There were so many files and documents to go through, after all.

The two of them spent the following days in their rooms, sprawled around their small table and surrounded by boxes and baskets of scrolls, manuscripts, and stacks of papers with the legal articles. Mikawa helped them sort since he wasn't needed at Kasuga's side anyway.

The girl was busy with her governing duties, so they let her take care of that while they worked. Mikawa, on the other hand, wasn't busy with anything in the Nagare castle or even the city. Like before, when Nekohiko had only taken him away from this hostile environment, the Nagare family disregarded him and wanted nothing more to do with him.

It came across very clearly in the fact that Mikawa was so reluctant to leave and go back home. Yes, even though he was still uncomfortable and shy around Nekohiko -- even then.

But however awkward his presence sometimes felt for Nekohiko, Nekohiko pretended that nothing had happened. No intense conversations, no bad blood between Mikawa and him. It was easier for Nekohiko, to simply go through the papers and... act as though he was here alone with Abihiko.

He wished they were, at times.

Mikawa was harmless and he was innocent, but... he was also superfluous. Nekohiko wanted to always be alone with Abihiko. Like back in their childhood.

The room rustled in papers and silk scrolls being leafed through. Nekohiko tilted his head to peer at Abihiko carefully, without being noticed, and felt safer immediately. Just from looking. How serious Abihiko seemed, how absorbed into his slow scribbling along the edges of his manuscript...

Then, as usual in this hour, Mikawa would start biting his lips guiltily before his stomach would growl with hunger.

And as always, Abihiko would flinch up from that and squint at the window as though he had lost all track of time. Which he probably did, being so consumed by his work.

"We should go dine somewhere, huh?" Abihiko stretched his arms and arched his back after the restrictive pose on the floor, then got to his feet.

"I am sorry," Mikawa said as though it was his fault he was hungry. "Which place do you want to go to?"

Every day and for each meal, Abihiko chose a different venue. Simply because he really liked doing this -- tasting foods and delicacies in all the different places. Like an overexcited tourist that he was.

"The Heartstring!"¹If you forgot, the name of one of the most famous Nagare restaurants ^^. Neko had dined here while being a snek.

Nekohiko couldn't avoid a sour look at him. Yet, diligently, he still followed him out the door. "The Heartstring serves air desserts. Are you sure it is the best place for dealing with hunger?"

Abihiko only winked at him back. "I just want you to taste something delicious, too. You can eat air even as a doll, no?"

"Ugh." They linked elbows like an old, cranky couple, all the road out of The Warrior's Haven and onto the luminous, sunlit street outside. "Fine, but we only go there for a dessert. The actual meal course, we get somewhere else. Deal?"

"Oh my, we are going to have a meal course and dessert at the same time? Should we go for drinks beforehand elsewhere, too? This seems like a holiday, all of a sudden."

Nekohiko enjoyed this.

Their easy conversations and their eager smiles. The chatter and fast-paced traffic in the streets they strolled through and the hawkers' cries and the blaring of tin melodies from the toy store on the corner. The scents of fried foods in the air... Abihiko's eyes only left his when something bright and flashy caught his attention in the souvenir stalls. Or when a particularly large crowd of little boys and girls flocked toward the toy store shelf, giggling in their animation.

Nekohiko almost wished... that this never ended.

Just like in Ise, he enjoyed traveling across their Empire with Abihiko just. so. much.

Yet as all cloudless things, this also had to end. Even this small trip to the restaurant could not last for too long without some unpleasant interruption.

"Mikawa?" a familiar voice of a young woman chimed sweetly from one of the separated dining sections in the restaurant they had walked into. The gilded, filigree screens of each section contrasted so gorgeously with the shiny black floors, ceiling, and walls that the place looked like the most elegant and luxurious cavern in existence.

The clientele suited this place just so.

Everyone here was rich, and well-dressed and undoubtedly... noble.

"Mikawa! Is that you?" the same voice called again.

It was not a big surprise when Nekohiko turned around, his lungs catching on a stuttered breath.

And there, in the restaurant niche, he saw... Sakami. In her element, airy and mellow, surrounded by some fancy Nagare family nobles, from which one young pompous man in his twenties was leaning toward her most prominently.

...

The young was smiling at Mikawa a moment ago. Yet as her gaze trailed from the young boy and onto Nekohiko and Abihiko behind him, her face grew paler and grimmer.

Outside, Abihiko and Nekohiko wore glamors to mask their appearances and not be too easily recognized by the Nagare nobles and citizens some of whom knew Abihiko personally.

But if the Hisome glamors worked wonders on the Nagare people, then against a true-born member of the Hisome family...

Yeah, no.

There was no chance in hell she would not recognize then.

Sakami stared, as though afraid to blink.

And all Nekohiko could think of was --

Damn it.